Dear leaders and teachers,
I'm glad to have such an opportunity to sit with you today. Why can we sit together? Because we have two things in common: first, we are both parents; Second, we all have a common desire and a common goal, that is, educating children to become adults and talents. Educating children is the topic of our life. Today, the topic of my speech is: A good family education environment is the cornerstone of children's healthy growth.
There are two explanations: first, as a parent, my speech here today does not mean that I know more about family education than all of you here in theory, nor does it mean that I have made any remarkable achievements in practice, nor does it mean that my children have performed very well in all aspects. Today, I just play a role in attracting jade. What I said today is also my hope and direction for family education. Secondly, as a primary school principal, I would like to take this opportunity to explain to my parents the relationship between school, family and students. In my opinion, the school is a sacred place for educating people, and students are the object of education management, not the object of control; Parents are the core of family education, and school education and family education should be closely coordinated. Parents are partners in school and teacher education.
First, the role of environment in education.
(Slide) 1. Everyone knows the story of "Three Major Movements in Meng Mu".
In the past, Mencius' father died when he was a child, and his mother raised him with great pains. Living near the cemetery, Mencius learned how to cry at funerals. Mother thought: this place is not suitable for children to live in. He left and moved his family to the street, close to where the pigs and sheep were slaughtered. Mencius learned something about buying, selling and slaughtering. The mother thought again, "This place is still not suitable for children to live in." Moved to the school home. At that time, on the first day of each month, officials entered the Confucian Temple and bowed down to record their advance and retreat. Mencius saw it and wrote it down one by one. This is where children live, Meng Mu thought. Settle here.
2, one side of the soil and water to raise one person.
A child was born and grew up in a relatively stable environment. From primary school, junior high school to senior high school, he stayed in this place for more than ten years and grew up like a person in this place. -one side of the soil and water to support one side. (Slide) Soil and water conservation. As the old saying goes, "Iraqis are on the water side" and "women are made of water" ... beauty is related to water. There are many rivers in Chengdu Plain, and the clear and sweet water nourishes the beautiful women in Chengdu, making their skin tender as water. Chengdu Plain, thousands of miles away, is known as the land of abundance. Chengdu is born with food and clothing, and women have the energy and conditions to enrich themselves and dress themselves, so there will be such a steady stream of beautiful women.
3. Assimilation.
Many foreigners come to work in Ci, ranging from one year to five or six years or even longer. Their clothes and temperament have changed, and some remarks have also changed. When they asked if they wanted to go home, they said they could go home once, but they would go back to live there. Why is this? It is assimilation. In other words, people are changed by the environment, educated and subtly changed.
Give two examples: driving in Berlin and girls in Taiwan Province Province (slide)
4. School choice.
Every July and August, the graduates of grade six and grade three of primary school are faced with the problem of choosing which school to study in. Choosing a school is actually choosing an environment for educating people. The environment here is mainly facilities (hardware) and more software, that is, teachers and school brands. Teachers are the teaching achievements of teachers' educational ideas and concepts, academic qualifications and professional titles, etc. School brand: the culture, campus culture, humanistic culture and spiritual culture formed by the school's long-term running.
This tells us that education is fundamentally an environmental problem first. This environment is not purely hardware, but more intangible. What kind of education you want, you have to create what kind of environment. "Close to Zhu Zhechi, close to jet black."
Second, the special position and role of family education.
1. Human biological reliability determines the dominant position of family education. (Slide-Wild Deer)
Among mammals, human beings are the longest species in adolescence. When a deer is born, it only takes about an hour to walk by itself, while it takes 20 months for a person to walk (usually 12 months for one year old). According to the laws of our country, a person can make a living by himself when he is 16 years old (otherwise it is illegal for employers to recruit child labor), and 18 years old is legally a person with full capacity, that is, an adult. In real life, it is far more than this age. From birth to 16 years old or even longer, what schools and society can do for children is very limited. Family and parents are highly trusted objects of children. Before 16 years, children's education was the most important education in their lives, which was basically carried out by the family and completed by the family. When we say "like father, like son", we are actually talking about the importance of family education.
Children's high biological dependence on their parents and parents' unconditional love for their children make it especially easy for children to feel the advantages of their parents, and it is especially easy for children to be moved, persuaded and imitated to learn. The first person a child likes is his parents, and the problems encountered in life and study are also asked first. As children grow older, some parents say that their children are disobedient and don't love themselves. The main reason is that parents are role models in the family and have a weak sense of self-development. They are not fully aware of their position and weight in the eyes of children. If they don't set a good example for their children, they will think that you can't be his teacher anymore.
Some of our parents think that as long as they give their children to the school, they can rest assured that everything will be fine. Some parents even think that their children have gone to school and can breathe a sigh of relief and stop suffering. In fact, schools are responsible for education such as survival, life and growth. Then, how much can the school do and how much responsibility can the school bear if the child has a problem? Family education is a lifelong event for parents and children.
2. The trust between family members is much higher than the interpersonal trust between school and society.
"There is a letter, no letter." The relationship between education and trust is that you are willing to communicate with anyone you trust. Listen to whoever you believe. It can be seen that the premise of education is trust. We said, "lovers talk more than half a sentence." In life, it is not easy to have someone you can trust and understand. But it is easier to establish a more trusting relationship between parents and children. Because this is a blood relationship. Knowing the roots, understanding each other and caring for each other are all family members, which is a very valuable foundation. This foundation is not available in social schools. Nowadays, the relationship between parents and children is very tense in many families. I think the root cause is still parents, and there are very few parents who don't love their children. The key is the way parents love their children. The content is worth discussing (personal family education values wisdom over morality; Pay more attention to teaching than to teaching; Words and deeds are different, and they are not accepted by children. Some educational methods are extreme, even exceeding children's physical and psychological limits. Parents and children have not really established a high degree of interpersonal trust in the family. The effect of family education can be imagined.
3. Family education is conducive to the formation of various good habits.
When people are educated, whether there is external supervision or not, the effect is different. Showing some good images and characters in front of many people is now called: Showing is one of the basic qualities of people, and it is the need for self-protection to win a sense of security. It is the external environment that "wants me to do it". These qualities are often unreliable, and once supervision is lost, the so-called good qualities are lost.
If parents supervise their children's moral behavior for a long time, they will change "I want to do" into "I want to do" and the habit will become natural. "Let the tiger go back to the mountain", what kind of parents have what kind of children. Which means this. The best place to cultivate a person's excellent quality is family. After all, school education is unified and you can teach your children in accordance with their aptitude.
4. The depth and breadth of family education is better than school education and social education.
To educate children, we must first understand them, know what they are thinking and doing, and why they think and do this. "Knowing a son is better than knowing a father". Children's reading and emotional thoughts, especially when they are thirteen or fourteen years old and reach adolescence (psychological weaning period), strongly need to have their own room for growth. They hope that others are their parents and treat themselves as adults and think that they can do anything. However, they have difficulties in learning, their grades are declining, and their classmates are in trouble, curious about the opposite sex and like impulsiveness. These phenomena can't be treated and handled correctly by children, which will make children very upset. Sometimes children will summon up courage to communicate with their parents. When' tis once spoken, parents' manners have swallowed their children's words, and they will not look for their parents in the future if there are any difficulties. As parents, when we stop to think about it, we will come to the conclusion that children's growth has to go through countless evaluations, and children are trying to seek the understanding of others every day, expecting a fair evaluation, and parents' evaluation is always the cornerstone. When our children are not understood, accepted, or even said to be useless, they will be depressed and even take extreme actions. Only parents can have a deep understanding of their children's psychological world. The school [society] does not have this convenience and depth, nor does it have this advantage. The deeper you know about children, the deeper you may be educated. The more self-esteem a child has, the more thoughts he will have and the more personal secrets he will have. Whether children's problems can be handled and solved in time depends mainly on whether parents understand and evaluate their children deeply. This evaluation is a guide, not a navigation mark.
Give a few examples: A father handles the story that his son likes a girl: (slide)
Zi: Dad, I have a crush on a beautiful and studious girl. Can I marry her?
Father: Well, you can have a crush on her. She has a crush on you?
Son (proudly): She also has a crush on me.
Father: That's good. You can be seen by girls, which means you are great. You have a crush on a girl, which shows that you have broadened your horizons. You have grown up and your emotional world is rich. You are a man. If you want to develop yourself in the county, you will continue to associate with her; If you want to develop yourself in the city, you must solve this problem in the city in the future; If you want to develop yourself in the province, you must solve this problem in the province in the future; I want to develop myself in Beijing and solve this problem in Beijing in the future; If you want to develop yourself in the world, you must go abroad to solve this problem.
My son listened and said, then I'll wait and see.
(Slide) A boy has a crush on a girl, but the girl doesn't want to associate with the boy. The boy is depressed. Knowing this, the mother wrote a letter to her child: when a country is strong, other countries also want to establish diplomatic relations with you; When a person is strong, others will be friendly to you; When a man is strong, a good girl will naturally come to you. After reading it, my son understood a truth: men should constantly strive for self-improvement
Anything, the problem itself is not terrible, what is terrible is the understanding and attitude towards things and problems. On the issue of educating children, it is difficult to read their minds. Now parents are very busy, and children spend a long time at school. Parents should consciously take some time with their children, take the topics that children are interested in as the starting point of conversation, find the same language and topic, and play games together, so that children can feel that parents are not only parents who feed and clothe themselves, but also the guides of life and study and the comforters of their hearts, regardless of their children.
Family education is the best place to eliminate the bad influence in school and social education.
Any education is divided into two parts. Some people vividly express the positive education of schools and the bad influence of society with formulas: 5+2 = 0; Although this expression is a bit extreme, it also shows that children will be negatively influenced and educated while receiving positive education. The negative influence of children in school society can be digested by families.
(Slide-Edison) Edison's Story Edison (1847- 193 1) was born in a small town called Milan in the northern United States. He made more than 1200 inventions in his life and became a world-famous scientist. In a sense, it is because of his mother's correct understanding and guidance that he has made such great achievements. The most successful part of his mother's education is that she is good at discovering, excavating and protecting her children's talents, and fully understands and supports her children's career. This should give us profound enlightenment as parents.
(Slide-Jay Chou) A young man, whose parents divorced when he was a child, grew up under the care of his mother. In primary school, young people have a special liking for music and show amazing talent. The mother, eager to be a dragon, accumulated over time and pooled her money to buy him a piano. Playing the piano, young people tap their potential and slowly accumulate their own music "capital". Young people didn't go to college after graduating from high school, so they had to work as waiters in restaurants. The boss scolded me and deducted my salary. Later, by chance, the young man was "attracted" by the music boss in Taiwan Province, and entered Wu's company as an assistant in music plate making. During this period, he kept writing songs, but Wu Zongxian put them aside, and some even threw them into the wastebasket face to face. The young man is not discouraged. Wu was moved by his efforts and promised to find a singer to sing his songs. But many famous singers don't want to show their voices, because the songs he writes are too weird and weird. Young people should, as always, make their own creations silently. One day, Wu Zongxian gave young people a chance: 10 to write 50 songs in a day, and then choose 10 songs, sing by themselves and make an album. Young people just forget to eat and sleep, day and night, racking their brains and writing songs hard. Finally, his first album came out and immediately caused a sensation in the music industry. Followed by the second album.
Jay Chou's mother-Ye Huimei
Third, create a good family education environment.
1, harmonious and warm family atmosphere
(1) Leslie Cheung committed suicide due to depression. Lack of maternal love from childhood: only conceptual mother, no biological mother consciousness, no wet nurse consciousness. Childhood lacks love and care.
(2) A girl who wants to commit suicide
Love, only 8 seconds.
I read in a parenting material that if a baby is not hungry or thirsty, keeps his body clean and dry, and keeps crying, it is insecure. At this time, as long as he hugs and caresses tightly and lovingly for 8 seconds, he will stop crying and be quiet.
At home, I tried more than once. After repeated attempts, the child always miraculously stopped crying in less than 8 seconds, and even turned crying into laughter. Outside, I have also helped many young mothers in this very simple way. They always seem at a loss when their children cry.
Once on a long-distance plane, a 50-day-old baby suddenly began to cry in the middle of the night for no reason. Her mother couldn't calm her down, so she had to wake me up shyly and ask me for help, saying that the milk had been fed and the diaper had just been changed. Why is she still crying?
I gently held the child in my arms without saying a word, just holding her tightly and patting her little back. Soon she stopped crying, slowly closed her glittering and translucent tears and fell asleep peacefully.
Love is really amazing sometimes. It only takes 8 seconds, even a baby less than two months can really feel it.
Poetry-What is home?
Home is a lamp, a roof and a soft bed.
With lights, I am no longer afraid of the stars and the moon at night.
With the eaves, you don't have to worry about the wind and rain.
With a bed, you can sleep soundly and have a sweet dream when you are tired and sleepy.
What is home?
Home is a sun. Mom and dad's happy smiles merge into a ray of warm sunshine.
2. Experience happiness in role transformation: "mentor-teaching assistant-student-child"
Mother appreciates the joy of changing roles.
The relationship between mother and child is not static. From the birth of the child to the old age of the mother, there are many role changes.
Before the child is six years old, the mother's role is to be a mentor, an example and an honest and attractive person.
After the child was six years old, the mother became a teaching assistant. Before the child is six years old, because your family education concept conforms to the laws of nature and science, and because the mother is a qualified tutor, when the child goes to school at the age of six, he already has good behavior habits, good moral habits and good social morality. After such a child entered the primary school, his classmates all liked him, and the teacher also felt that he was polite and liked him very much. Although it is a strange environment, because the child received a good education at home, his interpersonal skills are also very strong. Everyone likes him and wants to make friends with him. He is also in a happy mood. It is certain that he will have a good effect of accepting knowledge, so that such a child will not learn badly. Therefore, after the age of six, as a mother, she only needs to guide her children as a teaching assistant.
With the accumulation of children's knowledge, mothers become children's students. Study with children and accept their new knowledge and new ideas.
When the mother is old, her body is getting weaker and weaker, and even she is sick, and she needs the care of her children. Finally, her children will die. At this time, the role of mother becomes a child.
The constant transformation of roles conforms to the scientific concept of educating people. It should be noted that as long as you correctly understand the change of haircut, the change of this role will bring you many new feelings and bring you endless happiness and joy.
Children are sent by God to educate their parents.
Children are the works of God, never complaining about the world around them, and always curious about the world around them; Never say that people who see through the world of mortals have a strong interest in everything; Never let troubles disturb your sleep, be good at forgetting yesterday's unhappiness; Never let sadness flow into your heart, just pursue happiness and the future.
A child is a book without words. When parents teach their children, don't forget to listen. Children are closer to God than adults, which can purify your eyes to see the world. They are not tired of external things, let you relive the lost years and fill the gaps in your memory without leaving a trace. Children are receiving your education while educating you. Children are sent by God to educate their parents.
Educating children is the obligation of parents, and it is also the obligation and responsibility of school teachers. I firmly believe that as long as all parents work with us, the children's tomorrow will be better.