"As a son, when you are young, you should be close to teachers and friends, and learn etiquette." Children should pay special attention to three aspects when they are young: getting close to good teachers, getting close to helpful friends, and learning to cope, that is, learning to be polite and understand rules. The "Three Character Classic" tells us that we should start a child's study from these three aspects.

In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a musician named Shi Wen in the State of Zheng. I heard that a great music master named Shi Xiang came out of the State of Lu. So Shi Wen went far away to the state of Lu to worship Shi Xiang as his disciple. Unexpectedly, this Shixiang had great vision and easily refused to recruit disciples. Of course, Shi Wen repeatedly insisted on worshiping him as his teacher, and finally moved Shi Xiang to accept him as his disciple. But after two or three years, Shi Xiang suddenly discovered that Shi Wen played the piano very strangely. Why was it strange? Shi Wen is very diligent and often practices piano there, so logically there is nothing wrong with this. However, Shi Xiang discovered that Shi Wen always played a few movements and fragments, and never played the entire piece of music. Shi Xiang felt very puzzled, "You are so close to me, and you can't even play a complete piece of music after learning it for two or three years. It seems that you have no talent. Come on, go back, don't waste your time here. Shi Wen How to answer? "Teacher, it's not that I can't play a complete piece of music, but I know that once I can play a complete piece of music, you will think that I am full of teachers, and you will let me go, and there will be no more I had the opportunity to get close to the teacher, so I deliberately didn’t play. When Shi Xiang heard this, he said, "Oh, you, my student, are still worried about this. Please play one and listen to it." "Shi Wen immediately played a piece, which was very complete. Shi Xiang finally realized what kind of student he was. He agreed with Shi Wen to start teaching slowly. Do you want to follow me or follow me? Shi Wen continued to get close to his teacher, Carefully consider the teacher's skills. Both the master and the apprentice later became equally famous music masters.

How do you get close to your teacher when you first start learning? There is a lot of knowledge in how to find good friends when making friends. We know that the ancients attached great importance to and emphasized the importance of friends. Confucianism has always believed that friends are based on the same ideals and the pursuit of the same personality. A kind of friendly relationship on the basis of friendship.

There are many stories about making friends in ancient China, the most famous one is a kind of friendly relationship in Taoyuan. Here I will tell you a story about making friends, although it is not the same. As famous as the Taoyuan Three Brothers, many people may have heard of it. This is also the origin of the idiom "cutting off ties". In the Han Dynasty, there was a pair of good brothers named Guan Ning and the other named Hua Xin. How good is it? Sitting on the same mat and reading together every day. The ancients sitting on the same mat is equivalent to us sitting on the same bench today, because the ancients did not have beds or chairs like today. One day they all sat on the floor. Both of them were immersed in reading when they suddenly heard loud and lively sounds outside. Guan Ning remained undisturbed while studying and turned a deaf ear. Hua Xin jumped up and ran outside to watch the excitement and came back and told Guan Ning, "Brother, it's so beautiful outside." It's so lively. We have a new official here. He happens to be parading on the street. Why don't you go and take a look? "Guan Ning pulled out the knife he carried with him and cut open the mat they were sitting on together. This means that I will no longer sit with you. In ancient times, it meant breaking off diplomatic relations. Guan Ning said to Hua Xin, " We are not the same kind of people. You are so nice and vain, but there is a new official from outside who has come to take office and promotes excitement. What does it have to do with us? We should concentrate on reading now. So I think, let’s break off diplomatic relations. "Later, the two brothers separated as expected. Before they separated, Guan Ning told Hua Xin this truth again, but Hua Xin couldn't listen. Later, Hua Xin was killed because he followed the influence. Although Guan Ning later lived in Liaodong, But after arriving in Liaodong, he used benevolence and morality to educate the local people, and gained the love and support of the people, leaving a good reputation in history. This is the story of "cutting off friends", which is how the ancients regarded choosing friends. How important it is to be serious.

In addition to respecting teachers and choosing friends, the ancients also attached great importance to etiquette, and regarded these three items as essential enlightenment education for children. In modern society, we also attach great importance to etiquette. Civilized and polite, the Chinese nation has always been known as a land of etiquette.

So what is the essence of this "ritual" that has been passed down for thousands of years? How should people reflect their understanding of etiquette?

The first sentence of "Book of Rites" is "Don't be disrespectful, just like thinking." You must not be disrespectful. Whatever you do and whomever you meet, you should be respectful, respect each other, and have a sense of awe. . You should maintain a correct color, as if you are always thinking about something, and don't be frivolous. So many of our ancient children were little adults. Of course, we can discuss today whether this will kill the childishness of the children. The ancients also repeatedly pointed out that etiquette must not be vulgarized. This is something we must pay special attention to today. Today we also pay great attention to courtesy and reciprocity, but haven’t we mastered the true meaning of traditional Chinese etiquette? not necessarily. Confucius said in "The Analects of Confucius? Yang Huo", "Etiquette clouds, ritual clouds, jade and silk clouds?" "Rites, rites, are we talking about jade and silk?" Jade is a very precious gift from the ancients. Silk is a very good silk fabric. The ancients gave it as a valuable gift. Confucius lamented that many people at that time had vulgarized etiquette and equated etiquette with gifts. Confucius couldn't stand it, so he sighed like this, which was also a warning. Therefore, in modern society, we must pay attention to etiquette. To truly grasp traditional Chinese etiquette, we must truly grasp the spiritual essence of traditional Chinese etiquette.

Next, the "Three Character Classic" talks about the content and sequence of teaching, how children should receive education step by step, and in what order they should learn knowledge, so that they can be fragrant for nine years and can warm their seats. Filial piety to relatives is what you should do. Melting four years old can make pears. If you are a younger brother than an elder, you should be a prophet. The first is a filial brother, the second is seeing and hearing, knowing a certain number, and knowing a certain article. Fragrance: Huangxiang, from the Eastern Han Dynasty. Age: years. Wen: warm. Seat: bed seat. Parents: parents. When: Should. Execution: do it. Rong: Kong Rong, a native of the Eastern Han Dynasty. Brother: We are brothers, we respect and love our elder brothers. First: first. Second: Secondly. Insights: things seen and heard. Know a certain number: recognize the number. To know a certain text: to understand the literature and science.

Xiang Jiuling can warm the bed, be filial to relatives, and be filial to relatives. At the age of four, it can make pear younger brother Yu Changyi the first to be filial to his younger brother, see, hear, know certain numbers and understand certain articles

Why is it in the "Three Character Classic" In such enlightenment textbooks, children should first be taught filial piety? Are these traditional education methods still applicable in today's society? Which aspect of ability should parents focus on when educating their children?

Next, the "Three Character Classic" begins to describe the content and sequence of education. In other words, what priorities should be followed to educate children. We must understand this aspect very carefully. Because it contains the essence of traditional Chinese educational thought, we cannot understand it if we look at it in general terms.

"Xiang Jiuling can warm the mat. Being filial to relatives is what you should do." The "Xiang" in "Xiang Jiuling" refers to yellow fragrance. Huang Xiangziwen was a native of Jiangxia'anlu in the Eastern Han Dynasty. It is roughly equivalent to Yunmeng, Hubei Province today. "Book of the Later Han", one of the first four histories, contains a biography of Huang Xiang. Therefore, Huang Xiang is a real historical figure. Not only is he a historical figure, but he can be included in the official history and has a biography, which shows that he is still an amazing figure. The emperor once appointed him as the prefect of Wei County, so Huang Xiang was still a big official. The emperor once praised in front of all the civil and military officials, "There is no one like him in the world, Huang Tong of Jiangxia." However, the reason why traditional China remembers Huang Xiang is not because of his official position, nor because he was summoned by the emperor, nor because he was summoned by the emperor. The emperor praised it because "it is fragrant for nine years and can warm the table".

Huang Xiang’s mother died when he was nine years old, and he and his father depended on each other. The family was too poor to afford bedding. Huang Xiang is very filial to his father. How to be filial? In the hot summer, I was afraid that my father would not be able to sleep, and there was no air conditioning at that time, so I used a fan to cool down the mat and pillow where my father slept and help him sleep well. In the coldest month of winter, when the ground was freezing, Huang Xiang went to bed first and used her own body temperature to warm the mat and pillow so that her father could sleep peacefully. So this story is also called "Huang Xiang Fans Pillow", which means that the child Huang Xiang fanned the pillow to cool down. It is also called "Huang Xiang Wen Xi" because Huang Xiang warms the mat. This story was recorded in "24 Filial Piety", and Huang Xiang was called the most filial person in the world. Therefore, the reason why traditional Chinese people know Huang Xiang is because he is a filial son. The Three Character Classic says, “Being filial to your relatives is what you should adhere to.

"It means that you should be filial to your elders and their relatives. "What you should do" is nothing to discuss, so you should just do it. The example given is this Huang Xiang.

From this we can see that "Three Character Classic" " tells us that the first priority in enlightenment education in traditional China is "filial piety". Filial piety is the most important virtue emphasized by traditional Chinese culture, but why does Chinese traditional culture emphasize filial piety first in enlightenment textbooks such as "The Three Character Classic"? How about teaching children the word "filial piety"? Is there a profound truth in taking "filial piety" as the first step in children's education? ?

Let me try to split two characters for you. There is a way to split the characters in ancient China. Of course, there is a basis for splitting the characters. First, look at the word "filial piety", which is "老". The word "子" is called "filial piety", which emphasizes the continuity of blood relationships. Everyone is just a link in the long river of human life. You are a junior today and will be an elder tomorrow. If you don't respect your elders today, what will happen to you? How can you expect your younger generation to honor you when you get older? If children don’t have this kind of filial piety towards their elders, how can the human chain of blood be respected link by link, and how can it be passed down in a virtuous cycle? ? This is also to cultivate a child's respect for tradition. The second word "teaching" is "filial piety". Respect, cultivating a child's respect for elders, also cultivates a child's respect for tradition. Therefore, we can find that many great people in ancient China practiced "filial piety" and "fraternity".

There is a story about Huang Tingjian cleaning the toilet. Huang Tingjian, a great poet and calligrapher in the Song Dynasty, was already a high official in the court and had a great literary reputation. He was very reputable, and of course there were many servants in the house. But why did Huang Tingjian still clean the toilet? It turned out that Huang Tingjian's mother was still there at that time, but she was old, so she placed it in the bedroom for the convenience of the old lady. No matter how busy Huang Tingjian was with his official duties, he would always clean his mother's toilet. He did this for a long time until the old lady passed away. Many people felt that it was a bit difficult to understand. Mr. Huang was already a pillar of the country and an important minister. So high, why should slaves do these things? But Huang Tingjian's answer was, "It is a person's duty to be filial to their parents, just like it is the duty of a minister to be loyal to the emperor. What does this have to do with my other things?" Woolen cloth? Being filial to my mother and my official position have nothing to do with my status. Honoring parents is a child's gratitude to his parents for their upbringing. Is there any distinction between nobility and poverty in this regard? "Filial piety is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation. Filial piety is the first of all virtues. Honoring parents has been the duty of every child throughout the ages.

When we face our elders, we must be filial to our peers. What should we do? Next, the "Three Character Classic" tells a very famous story, "If you are four years old, you can make pears." If you are a younger brother than an elder, you should be a prophet. "Everyone knows the story of Kong Rong letting pears go." The "younger brother" is written as the "younger brother" of "younger brother" in the "Three Character Classic", but it should be pronounced as ti (tì). "Brother is older than the elder" , Be respectful and friendly to your elders. "Yi Xie" should know early on that when a child receives education, he should first be filial to his relatives and should keep this in mind. Let's talk about "fraternity" and "brothers are more important than elders", which actually means that younger brothers respect their older brothers.

Kong Rong, who knew Rang Li since he was four years old, has shown outstanding talent since he was a child. At the age of 13, Kong Rong's father served as the captain of Mount Tai. Kong Rong followed his father to the capital, which was then located in Luoyang. Today, the chief executive of the capital is called Li Ying. He is very famous and has a very strong temper. How big is it that he can't see you even if you are a big figure? He only sees people who are famous in the world. Although Rong's father was the 19th generation grandson of Confucius, and even though he was an official like the Captain of Taishan, he was not in Li Ying's eyes.

But this is not what we remember about Kong Rong. I’m afraid not many people have heard of the two stories I just told. What we remember is Kong Rong’s pear.

The story of Kong Rong giving pears is found in "Kong Rong Family Biography", also called "Kong Rong Farewell Biography". Kong Rong had seven brothers and he was the sixth. Every time he ate pears, Kong Rong would choose the smaller one to eat. This is different from our concept today. The more children at home today, the bigger the snacks. They don’t have teeth yet. They want to eat large apples, grandparents eat small ones, and parents eat medium apples. It’s the other way around. Kong Rong didn't. He always picked on the small ones, which made people think it was strange. Kong Rong’s answer was, as I am the younger brother, of course I should eat the younger one. This is a kind of humility and friendship. Such a simple thing has been passed down for thousands of years as a representative of "ti". In modern times, the story of Kong Rong Rangli is often included in primary school textbooks. So everyone remembers that Kong Rong seems to have done one thing in his life, which is to give up a pear and do nothing else. In fact, it is not the case. Kong Rong did many things, but Kong Rong gave up the pear as a traditional Chinese virtue. It has been passed down as the representative of "Ti". "Kong Rong gave the pear" is a well-known story. The reason why it has been passed down for thousands of years is because of the "Taoism" it advocates. The key to why "ti Tao" has become a virtue lies in the word "humility". So what is the practical significance of this traditional "ti Tao"?

Mr. Liang Shiqiu, a very famous litterateur and translator in my country, once wrote a special paragraph about Kong Rong Rangli. I think he said it very well. Mr. Liang said, "Some people speculate that Kong Rong may have had a bad stomach and was afraid of eating cold food in those days, so he was willing to give in. I dare not speculate like this. But we have to admit that benefits can make people forget themselves, and humility is not easy. The story of Kong Rong letting pears has educational value if carried forward. "Mr. Liang Shiqiu said that the humility shown in the story of Kong Rong letting pears is very educational. I think this is also the reason why the "Three Character Classic" places him second in the education hierarchy. This is the reason why this story has been passed down for thousands of years.

Taoism and filial piety are traditional virtues advocated by Confucian culture. They have a profound influence in traditional Chinese culture. They are also an important criterion for the ancients to evaluate a person's virtue. But in an imperial family where brothers often turn against each other, will advocacy still work? "Ti Tao", brotherly love, can be seen from several of Cao Cao's sons. A very famous story that happened between Cao Pi and Cao Zhi is a seven-step poem. Cao Pi was so small-minded that he could not see that his younger brother Cao Zhi was so talented and famous all over the world. I couldn't help but feel angry. I always wanted to find an opportunity to torment my brother and kill him. So he found an opportunity to punish his younger brother. Cao Pi said, "Didn't I say that you are very smart and quick-witted? In this way, you can compose a poem in seven steps. If you can compose it, I will spare you. If you can't compose it, I will kill you." Cao Zhi composed a very famous poem "Boiling beans and burning them" Bean sprouts, beans weeping in the cauldron. They are born from the same root. Why rush to fry each other?" After hearing this, Cao Pi let Cao Zhi go without harming him. What plays a role in this? Is it Cao Zhi’s talent? Could it be that Cao Pi suddenly realized that his younger brother was so talented and quickly let him go? no. Cao Pi was jealous of Cao Zhi's talent. The reason why he wanted to kill Cao Zhi was because his younger brother was more talented than him. I think what impressed Cao Pi at that moment was a kind of "teaching". Even Cao Pi still had a feeling of "fraternity" deep in his heart. He felt that since he and his brother had the same roots, they really shouldn't push each other too hard. The story of Cao Pi and Cao Zhi can well illustrate "tibi".