How to explain the ancient concept of "friends"? Or what kind of people can be called friends? The ancestors who invented Chinese characters have long given the answer. Chinese characters with "month" as the radical are mostly related to the human body, and the word "friend" composed of two months contains the meaning of two people getting along well; The word "Friend" is easier to understand. When our ancestors created this Chinese character, they drew two hands and put them together. "Zhou Li" notes: "Two and two people are also called friends, and good brothers are called friends; two people are also called right and left hands." A relationship like a brother is called a "friend", or a relationship like a person's left and right hands coordinates actions and cooperates with each other to help each other. "friend". Therefore, the ancients believed that: "Morals and righteousness are at odds with each other, and faults are at odds with each other, this is a friend who is afraid of others; friends who can be taken care of in emergencies and can be trusted in crises are close friends; words are like sweet words, and games are played with each other, this is a close friend; and interests are mutually beneficial. Fighting and crisis are like thieves and friends." These all express our ancestors' clear analysis, understanding and definition of "friendship" and how to make friends.

The ancients were cautious about making friends, which does not mean that they do not make friends or that friends are not important. "The Book of Songs" says: "The meaning of friends is very important. There are five great ways in the world: monarchs and ministers, fathers and sons, brothers, and husbands and wives are friends. Therefore, as for the emperor, as for the common people, there is no one who does not need friends to achieve success." In the opinion of Confucius, the saint Come on, from the emperor to the common people, there is no one who can achieve great things without friends. "The Doctrine of the Mean" says: "If you don't trust your friends, you can't get the best." It means that if you don't trust your friends, you can't get the knowledge and support of the Lord. And "Mencius" directly links the lofty aspirations of Confucius, Zilu, and Zengzi to their friends: "It is Confucius's ambition that his friends believe in him; his chariots, horses, and clothes, and his friendship with his friends are Zilu's ambitions; and he who trusts his friends is also his ambition. , Zeng Zi’s ambition.” In the Twenty-Four Histories and many ancient notes, the interpretation of “making friends” can be said to be a powerful one. For example, there are classic stories in "Historical Records" such as "I thought that acquaintances of common people should not be deceived, how much more so in a big country?" Forget, the wife of chaff will never leave the court. ""Shi Shuo Xin Yu" says, "Monkey and Ji and Ruan are as close as a golden orchid." This kind of love for each other that does not change due to life and death is what the ancients regarded. friend".

This is how the ancients viewed "the meaning of friends": Zhuangzi's "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" is the basic essence of "making friends". "The Rites of Zhou" regards trust between friends as one of the good qualities of a person: "Six elements, the fifth is Ren, means trust in friends." Cheng Yi, a Neo-Confucian in the Southern Song Dynasty, believed that "trust is close to righteousness": "Because it does not lose the If they are similar, they can be respected; because they are close to the etiquette and righteousness without losing their closeness, they can also be respected." That is to say, because friends insist on respect and trust without losing the closeness of the etiquette and righteousness, they can be respected; because of respect. Trust is close to etiquette and justice, but does not lose the affection of family, and it can also be respected.