From the perspective of China's traditional culture and art, in fact, China's ancient sexual culture is very developed. The combination of yin and yang has a very important influence on the sexual consciousness in ancient China, and it feels that the external economic relationship between men and women is similar to the macroeconomic relationship between heaven and earth. Harmony between Yin and Yang is the way of life and survival. Since Zhu Cheng's Neo-Confucianism, sex has been regarded as a wrong thing. He believes that human nature is an individual behavior contrary to the laws of nature. In the sixties and seventies of last century, in that extreme era, people usually talked about "sex" fear and regarded "sex" as a wolf like a tiger, so that it reached an unprecedented peak. All the people, things, things, feelings, scenes and reasons that can arouse sexual thoughts have been completely eliminated. This thoughtless personal behavior and humanity put the cart before the horse. Even in modern society, the afterglow of this consciousness still exists, so that everyone's sexual needs are either timid or avoided.
From my point of view, I think the topic of sex can be discussed frankly. As contemporary single women, we should not deliberately avoid this problem. In all marriages, sex is a unique and private relationship between husband and wife, which is not found in all other marriages. In the relationship between husband and wife, sex between husband and wife is also an unavoidable topic, so we should treat this sensitive word sincerely.
On the other hand, sex is also a special tool for communication between husband and wife. This special tool can improve the relationship between husband and wife if used well; If it is not used well, it will also become the fuse of tension between couples. Therefore, husband and wife should discuss sex frankly and communicate with each other on this sensitive topic. Naturally, all personal behaviors of husband and wife must be based on wanting to be with you.
There are differences between men and women in love.
Targeted point of view, in fact, men and women think differently.
For example, we often see men and women complaining to each other:
Man: She doesn't seem to want to be with me, at least she doesn't like me.
Woman: He always thinks about * *, not only about each other, but also about love and praise!
In fact, the differences in men's and women's understanding of sexual needs can be traced back to the different nature of their physiological structures. From the perspective of human primitive instinct, men tend to reproduce their offspring in large numbers, so he is more conscious and active in sex, and his foothold and purpose are simpler. However, women pay more attention to cultivating and nurturing the next generation. Moreover, to raise a child, a woman must be pregnant for ten months first, and then she must try her best to take care of the child. Women's energy and cost of raising children are much higher than men's. Therefore, targeted, women think a lot from the instinctive reaction, and have a lot of scruples. Women care more about love than sex. Because there is love, there is a sense of belonging, which means that women will be confident that they can be strongly applied by men when raising children in the future. Because of different ways of thinking, men and women have many different views on sexual needs. Women are rational, love to care about the key points and feel the whole process, while men are objective, have more logical thinking and enjoy the results.
So _ How should a woman discuss this issue with her husband? I think we must fully consider the differences between men and women. As Goldman often said, in the long-term relationship of marriage and friendship, emotional estrangement can not promote all kinds of husband and wife life, but its effect is just the opposite. Actually, this is about mutual understanding between men and women. Is to discuss sex, first of all, we must understand each other, understand each other's thinking mode, and figure out how to talk about husband and wife life, so that the other party can accept it. If you can't understand your partner, it will inevitably lead to emotional estrangement between them, which will eventually lead to unhappiness and disharmony in the life of husband and wife. When two people are estranged, as a woman, it is very unexpected to have sex with each other here for a while. However, as long as two people have feelings, from a man's point of view, he will feel that if everyone has a one-time life, it will fill everyone's feelings, which actually involves the problem of special tools that have often been mentioned just now.
Women are rational. When she considers emotionally, many times, she will feel that husband and wife life is only the intercourse of the human body and has all the requirements of love. Men think that the life of husband and wife is happy, and a large part of them probably want to use the life of husband and wife as a special tool to fill the relationship between husband and wife, that is to say, they can make their feelings stronger. In addition, their physiological instinct reaction is far stronger than that of women, so many times they will send out invitations to live together. At this time, everyone should seize the opportunity of opening the mobile door, as Genaye often said.
Romantic and touching, skilled.
Based on reading nayes's The Game of Love, I have extracted some very reasonable application methods:
First, create a breakthrough in one-time love. If you feel that you are really ashamed to ask, and there is no breakthrough, you must create a breakthrough in one-time love. Whether the other party invited you or not, you have hinted to the other party. When we take the initiative to send out invitations, we should choose the concept of time, such as legal holidays, a very unique and more meaningful life, couples' existing festivals or farewell parties, that is to say, two people's leisure and entertainment life.
Second, don't forget to clearly put forward your own physiological needs and use the method of encouragement and expectation. When you have an opportunity, you must pay attention to it. On the one hand, you must obey each other. On the other hand, don't forget to clearly put forward your own rules under appropriate circumstances. You must face each other correctly and guide you to perform with your requirements, so that both sides feel good. Because men are more likely to get happiness, women are different. Guide him to obey his own requirements correctly, and you will feel deep love. I think so, even if sometimes because of quarrels and life pressures, husband and wife gradually lose trust in each other and are chilling to each other. But if everyone has had a better and higher quality husband and wife life, you can really meet him and guide him correctly, then you can find that he is really diligent. He really wants to give you a good experience, and you will enjoy his love when he is very distressed by your experience.
Third, create a passionate two-person world. Everyone knows that after having children, has anyone succeeded in getting a refund? There are few opportunities for two people to get along. To tell the truth, in the first year of having a baby, our daily life can be completely described as a chicken feather. With more family members and more and more work pressure, everyone is basically out of breath. Coupled with the intervention of the other elderly, there are many complaints between husband and wife. Generally speaking, women think that men don't care much about their families, and men also think that women don't care about him as before, but care about their children. Two years after a woman gives birth to a child is a period when their opinions are concentrated, and their feelings are very easy to get rusty. In fact, this is also common between husband and wife all over the world, from love to quarrel. After the first year, as a woman, we need to return to all normal daily life first. Then we need to make every effort to create some two-person space, two-person world and create some successful refunds. An opportunity to release enthusiasm to each other.
Nature and passion are connected with warmth. For example, you can do something that you feel warm every day. Just like kissing him every morning and evening; Give them a surprise attack; Or write them a note about the life of husband and wife; You can also guide him correctly in the life of husband and wife and try some new postures.
When the relationship between husband and wife is very good, we should follow the instinctive reaction of husband and wife's life and enjoy the mutual integration of spirit and flesh. At that time, everyone will feel happy and their feelings will be more moist because of that feeling.
Fourth, encourage him more. As I mentioned at the beginning, men are small animals with high self-esteem. He is very, very concerned about your attitude towards him. Don't blame him, don't nag, pay attention to him, there is no doubt that his work ability, appreciate him, he will become more and more passionate. Especially at the sexual level. Several male friends around me also told me that no matter how fierce a woman attacks her husband, she can't just be sexually, or even not at all. Once severely hit, it may be fatal to men and the relationship between husband and wife.