It is generally believed that the value of happiness is higher than money, but in many cases, happiness is overestimated by us. Let me tell you something about overrated happiness!

Is happiness overrated?

Martin? Seligman thinks so now. Perhaps this makes the founder of positive psychology seem a bit strange. As the president of the American Psychological Association in the late 1960s, seligman criticized his colleagues for their persistent concern about mental illness and other problems. He urged them to study the joy of life and wrote a book, True Happiness, which became a best seller in 2002.

But now, he has some regrets about this title. With the development of happiness research, Dr. Zegri Mann began to realize the limitations of this concept. Why do couples want children even though the data shows that couples without children are happier than those with children? Why do millionaires try to find more money, even if they don't want to do anything with it?

Why do some people insist on playing bridge?

As a loyal bridge lover, Zegri Mann kept an eye on them during the competition. They never laugh, even if they win the game. They don't compete for money or friends.

They're not immersed in something called. Flow? In the feeling of devotion (flow: a wonderful psychological state). They are unwise to play games? Win beauty? Feel satisfied. Are they happy? Win the ugly? Sometimes it even means that they need to cheat.

? They want to win for their own interests, even if they can't bring positive emotions? Said Dr. Zegri Mann, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania? They are like hedge fund managers who just want to accumulate money and toys for themselves. Watching them cheat at cards, I have been thinking that a sense of accomplishment is really a desire of human beings! ?

This sense of accomplishment created what the ancient Greeks called? Happiness? The concept of a is roughly translated as? Happiness? Or? Bloom? The concept of. Dr Zegri Mann also borrowed it as the title of his new book Bloom. Of course, Zegri Mann also created his own acronym? P E R M A (lamination theory)? The name is used to define the five key elements of happiness, and each letter represents a different meaning:

Positive emotions (positive emotions)

Get involved in (a feeling of being lost in a task) (participate)

Relationship (relationship)

Meaning (meaning)

Achievement (achievement)

? Happiness can't just stay in your mind? He wrote? Happiness is not only about feeling good, but also includes meaningful, good interpersonal relationships and a sense of accomplishment. ?

The positive psychology movement inspires the whole world to explore people's psychological state, just like former British Prime Minister David? Cameron called it? National happiness index (GWB)? A new project to measure overall happiness. Dr. Zegri Mann said that he was glad to see that the government's estimate was not just GDP, but he was also worried that these surveys were mainly about asking people? Life satisfaction? .

Theoretically, life satisfaction may contain many elements of happiness. But in fact, Dr. Zegri Mann said that people's answers to this question are mostly determined by their feelings when they are surveyed, rather than all their judgments about life.

In his book Bloom, he wrote:? Life satisfaction is essentially a measure of happiness, so it should not enjoy a higher position than studying happiness in any theory. ? He explained that according to this standard, the government can allocate aldous? Huxley's Brave New World is a pleasant agent to improve residents' happiness. Happiness should not only be measured by pleasant mood.

So what should we measure?

Dr Zegri Mann said, what is the best measure of happiness at present? Bloom? The standard comes from Felicia of Cambridge University. Hooper and Timothy? Conducted research in 23 European countries. In addition to asking subjects about their emotions, the researchers also asked them about their interpersonal relationships with others and whether they felt that they were accomplishing anything meaningful.

Denmark and Switzerland rank the highest among European countries, with more than a quarter of the residents meeting the requirements? Bloom? Definition of. Near the bottom of the ranking, there are less than 10% residents? Bloom? There are France, Hungary, Portugal and Russia.

The current research is not directly compared with the American research, although many other researchers think that Americans will do quite well because of their sense of accomplishment. Economist Arthur? Brooks explained that 5 1% of American residents expressed satisfaction with their jobs. This ratio is higher than other European countries except Denmark, Switzerland and Austria.

In his book Gross National Happiness published in 2008, Dr. Brooks said that the key factor of happiness is not how happy you feel, nor how much money you earn, but what you find in your life and what you have. Earned happiness? Feeling, a belief that you have created value for yourself or others' lives.

? People feel the meaning of life when they provide unconditional love for their children? Professor Brooks, the current chairman of the American Enterprise Institute, wrote in the book. Paradoxically, if you are willing to experience years of dirty diapers, lose your temper and talk back, your happiness will increase. Being able to accept the unhappiness of raising children is also the source of happiness. ?

Some happy researchers believe that parents cheat themselves in the fun of raising children. They focus on precious time and forget more ordinary hardships. But Dr. Zegri Mann said that parents are actually smart enough to seek more than happiness.

? If we just wanted to have a positive mood, then our planet would have died long ago? He said,? We pursue other factors of happiness by raising children. We want to live a meaningful life, and we want to have interpersonal relationships. ?

Observing people's need for a sense of accomplishment, Dr. Zegri Mann said that he remembered an earlier definition? Learned helplessness? A famous concept experiment. He found that when animals or people were given a series of arbitrary punishments or rewards, they would stop doing anything constructive.

? We find that even if good things appear, they are not earned by us, such as the five cents rolled out of slot machines, which will not increase people's happiness. ? He said,? On the contrary, it increases the sense of helplessness. People will give up their efforts and become passive. ?

To avoid this uncomfortable feeling, Professor Zegri Mann suggested focusing on the basic elements of happiness, determining which is more important to you, setting goals and checking progress. ? You only need to record the time you spend pursuing your goals every day, which has great influence. ? He said,? Because you can easily see the difference between your goal and what you are doing. ?

You can also start questioning your goals and activities, just as Dr. Zegri Mann occasionally wonders why he spends so much time playing bridge. This brought him some obvious achievements, including the runner-up in the North American doubles championship, but he didn't pretend that playing bridge brought any meaning to his life. He said that he played bridge for another factor of happiness, the feeling of participation. ? I feel fluent in bridge? He wrote? But after the long tournament, when I looked in the mirror, I was worried that I was just anxious (not doing anything meaningful) until I died. ?

As for playing bridge, is it more for the feeling of traffic than just for winning? Dr. Zegri Mann doesn't want to judge.

? My view of positive psychology is that it describes rather than prescribes what people should do. He said,? I don't want to be confused with people's values. I'm not saying that winning is a good thing or a bad thing, I'm just describing what most people are doing. As a clinician, my job is not to change people's values, but to consider people's existing values and make them do better on this basis. ?

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