True emotional independence in intimate relationships is the realization that your partner should not be the only source of love and happiness. Their duty is not to meet your expectations and make you happy. If this is not the basic erection, it will be difficult to maintain close relationship for a long time. When we were very young, we always asked our parents to meet our needs unconditionally, otherwise we would resist by crying, complaining, coquetry and losing our temper. Many people treat their partners in this way when they grow up, expecting to get a sense of security and companionship. This illustrates the fact that our emotions are often not physically and intellectually mature. Until now, we are still dealing with emotions and needs in the way we were children. It is reasonable to expect your partner's happiness and intimacy. However, if we need happiness, security, self-esteem or many other things, if they need others to realize them, it becomes a big problem.

What is true emotional independence?

True emotional independence comes from true and full self-satisfaction. Pay full attention to self-demand and have the ability to meet self-demand. For example, you are furious because the other person didn't accompany you during the holiday and accuse him of not taking care of your emotions and feelings. So, you don't really care about yourself, and you don't really enjoy yourself. Because, once you reach the state of self-concern, you will find that he failed to meet your wishes and needs, and you can completely meet them through other channels. For example, concentrate on finding things that make you happy, instead of just complaining about your partner's behavior. When you put all your attention into these things that make you happy, you will make yourself happy and make the other person feel less guilty. This is emotional maturity-having enough ability to build an independent life. There are several suggestions to help you realize it:

0 1: Cultivate hobbies as much as possible.

From art and dance to reading, writing or fitness. ..................................................................................................................................................................

The more beautiful things you cram into your life, the more happiness you will have. Remember: the more happiness you have comes from yourself, the less others can control your emotions.

02: Make friends with high quality as much as possible.

The happiness brought by making friends is hard to replace. Socialization itself can broaden your horizons and bring pleasure. Moreover, having more intimate friends allows you to pin your feelings on different people without locking your partner, which is an energy release for intimate relationships.

03: insist on taking two days off a week for love.

Do what you like and immerse yourself in your feelings. You can simply contact, but you don't have to stick together. This is especially useful for couples who live together or get married. It can not only prolong the life of love, give each other breathing space, but also constantly exercise the ability to be alone. It's too important to always be alone after living together. Remember, good love is based on independence and self-appreciation, and your charming female charm comes from this.

When you love yourself completely, that kind of love will flow to your partner, which is a truly beautiful and pure feeling; If you can't take care of yourself, your love for others is incomplete, unhealthy, and even has a strong sense of taking, which makes people want to escape. In quarreling, we also need strong emotional control. Let's talk about this topic.

0 1: Control your own conditioned reflex to things.

What happened is not the only source of your anger, but your reaction to what happened. Psychologists tell us that people's anger comes from what is happening now+causal conditioning. The so-called causal conditioning is the way you explain events. It is these roots that are deeper than the causal chain in your mind. For example, when the other party doesn't answer your phone, these conditioned reflexes will be activated, which will lead you to the above conclusion, and finally you will be furious. To learn emotional management, the first thing you need to do is to change these conditioned reflex.

Let's list ten things that you've been angry about recently. In each case, what causal conditioning did you use? Is there room for correction? When you are angry in the future, even if you spend two seconds, think about whether the causal relationship you use is reasonable.

02: Stop for 6 minutes and force self-made emotional therapy.

There is an index to measure a person's maturity in dealing with emotions-whether to digest negative emotions by yourself or vent them on others. The former shows that you are responsible for your emotions, while the latter shows that you ask others to be responsible for your emotions. Too many people take their anger out on their partners whenever they encounter something worthy of anger, because expressing anger has one advantage-it can make them feel guilty, make them responsible for your inner pain, and make you happy. This is a terrible mentality. Over time, you will corrode the original healthy intimate relationship. So, here are some ways to digest negative emotions by yourself. Here I recommend you to watch the six-minute self-therapy (you can spend your mother's time if you are interested ~). Only those who can control their emotions can get what they want the fastest and be controlled at least.

In addition, emotion management experts believe that if a person is caught by the emotion in a certain situation once, then the next time this situation happens, it is easy to be absorbed into the same emotion. It continued until this special emotion became a conditioned reflex. For example, if your emotions yield to anger once, you will find that you will easily become angry even if there is less stimulation next time. Therefore, if not controlled, irritable people will become more and more irritable and unhappy. And more control can prevent you from falling into negative emotions again in the future, let your life enter a virtuous circle and bring more happiness and pleasure. Do you still love me after venting your emotions? Actually, it's all about yourself and yourself. Do you still love me ? Most people ask each other this question after venting their emotions. Communication problems, usually caused by mutual incomprehension, are also manifestations after the Cold War. This is a deep-seated emotional disorder, exposed by the short-term separation of thoughts caused by mental injury, which makes the body suffer from sadness.

Do you still love me ? It seems that a heart that has suffered emotional trauma, in its fragile expression and sad complex, is actually a subconscious language, with deep lack and self-confidence behind it. Knowing this, what do we need to do? Get your original strength back! You don't need to look outside, but inside. Observe why you need each other's understanding, why you need each other's approval and attention, and finally you will come to the same answer-not loving yourself enough. After you love yourself, you will really live and your love will sublimate.