Usually at home, how to deal with parents? Buddhist etiquette also contains this content.

What should I do to my parents? Greet often. The song doesn't say, "Go home often, even if you brush chopsticks and wash dishes." If you don't live with your parents, you should often go home and talk to your mother or father.

Someone will ask me, "So, Master, do you often go home to have a look?" I can say that although I don't often go home to watch it, I often call.

But I wasn't like this a few years ago. Not only do I not go home, but I also don't call. When my parents called me, I said I wanted to do something. Today, it seems that I did something wrong at that time. I thought at that time, once I practiced, I would take off without touching the ground. How come... Practice is actually to be down-to-earth and be a good person.

As laymen, we should take good care of our parents. It's not that parents are old and no one is raising them, but that parents are competing to raise them when they are old, which is in line with Buddhism. For parents, in addition to respect, respect, but also support. As a child, you should have this heart. Of course, you can do whatever you want, you don't have to force it. It doesn't matter if you are willing but unable; If you are "strong but powerless", it will be terrible. Buddhism talks about reincarnation, and one day your son will be "out of his depth." Be sure to be filial to your parents and seek warmth and coldness.

A layman learns a certain technology, and the teacher who teaches you the technology is just like their parents. You should visit them during the holidays.

Second, make friends.

It is important for Buddhist laymen to make friends.

Many laity friends are not laity, but play mahjong and roll dice. We ordinary people are always influenced by the environment. Where will you be taken with such a friend?

If a person makes a good friend, it is much more valuable than if you have a deposit of 200 thousand. If you have a deposit of 0.2 million/200 thousand and make a bad friend, you may lose everything in three years. If you have a good friend, he will help you, support you and enlighten you when you are poor, which is more important than wealth. Buddhism is about getting close to good knowledge, and we should also make friends with our mentors.

If a friend has evil thoughts and you find him flattering and hypocritical, say this to you, say that to others, or talk and laugh to others in person, and when they leave, they will tell you how bad he is ... Once you find such a person, tell him: "Amitabha, may you become a Buddha as soon as possible!" It's over. So you won't be assimilated by him. The ancients said, "Birds of a feather flock together, and people are divided into groups." So we should be good friends.

Moreover, make friends with people who are better than you, who are more knowledgeable, educated and cultivated than you. Why? He can lead you forward and set a good example for you. This is the rule of making friends.

Third, family.

This is an important link. Because you are all at home, you have already got married, or you will get married in the future. Today, I also saw some lay people come in pairs. This is a Buddhist family, and your children will learn Buddhism in the future, which is very good.

1, couple

The ancients said that husband and wife respect each other as guests, and Buddhism is more ceremonial. It is recorded in ancient books that a man should buy something for his wife from time to time. This is important because you are a layman. As a wife, you should support your husband and even take responsibility for him when it is important. You should love him. Men should be sympathetic to your wife and be kind to her.

As a Buddhist student, I can't even handle my family affairs well. What do you study? Learning Buddhism is to make yourself better and become extremely excellent.

Some people learn Buddhism, but they handle it worse at home. Why? What is the reason? Did you look for it from yourself?

There are two important principles in dealing with the relationship between husband and wife in the family. The first is loyalty, and the second is understanding.

Loyalty means we don't have too many secrets.

Understanding is more important, and if you don't understand it, you will be in trouble, either cold war or white heat.

As a woman, you should understand that your husband is very hard. It is not easy for him to work outside. He may be oppressed by leaders or subordinates, and occasionally complain when he goes home. You should learn to listen and enlighten him. Because women are both wives and mothers in the family, if a woman is just a woman without motherhood, such a family is not very good. When you treat your husband, sometimes you should care about him like a child.

A husband should also understand his wife. She has to cook at home, mop the floor, wash clothes and pick up the children ... she has to do a lot of things and it's very hard. Sometimes she complains. Listen! Listen more, think more and understand more.

Why do family members have conflicts? The reason is lack of communication. What is the reason for the lack of communication? Lack of understanding.

2. Children

Children's education is also a big problem. Nowadays, many people think that children's education is difficult. This is because you instilled in him an idea from an early age: "You are the master of the family, you are the center of the family, and you are very important. How important are you? Even if I eat dry food, I will let you drink good soup. " If you take care of your child like this, he may build up fragile self-confidence. At home, he has such confidence: "I am the emperor, and I have the final say." But as soon as he goes out, you see, he becomes very obedient and good to everyone. When people laid their hands on him, he bowed his head at once. Why doesn't he have normal confidence? It is because all his family are kind to him that no one can say that he is not a word.

We'd better educate our children with Buddhism. Tell him the truth of the cause and effect: "if you don't study hard now, you won't listen to the rules, and you will be a hooligan on the street in the future, which is useless!" " Not for the country, not for the family, not for the parents. If you want to be a useful person, you must study hard from now on. "

Many people come to Buddhism because of family problems and children's disobedience. It is too late.

One more thing, there must be layers at home. Now talking about "equality" means that parents hold their children, not that children look up to their parents. Of course, this kind of looking up is not afraid of you, but respects you. Children who have the mentality of respecting and thanking their parents will naturally be good to their parents.

You should be grateful first, and then instill gratitude in your children. You should tell him and thank your teacher.

There is a story of my own. When I was in the fourth grade of primary school, I was absent from class once. I didn't go to class or go home, so I played outside all morning. I went to school in the afternoon, and when the teacher asked me, I lied. But the teacher knows the truth, because the teacher asked other students to go home to see if I was sick. Hearing that I lied, the teacher got angry and slapped me. If the teacher treats the students like this now, he may have to kneel down and beg for mercy. But not then. The teacher slapped me. I am sad. I didn't check it myself. I just feel that I hurt my self-esteem in front of my classmates. When I got home, I told my father in tears that the teacher slapped me, hoping to get support in my little heart. But my father didn't support me. He didn't hit me either. He only told me one thing. He said, "For example, if you stand on a cross street today, this road may be a bright one, and that road may be full of thorns. When you are about to embark on that road, the person next to you slaps you hard and drives you into the right path. Do you think it is worth it? Do you want to be happy or cry? "

I remember, I remember today. My teacher did the right thing. I feel sorry for him. If he hadn't hit me, maybe I wouldn't have left home.

We should always have a grateful heart. It's not that anyone hates who says my child. Why do you say your children? Maybe it's because your child is wrong. You can't see your baby perfectly, and the more you look at other people's children, the less pleasing you are. The children educated in this way are definitely not good.

You should be grateful. People say you are good to you. Even if he doesn't like you, he says you are good to you, and he is trying to modify you.

My father told me a truth: go to the hospital and hang an expert number and find someone to find something wrong with you. This requires money and medicine. Now you don't spend money or take medicine. Someone came to you and said you were wrong. You should be happy. The ancient sages said in the book: "It is fun to smell it." You should be glad that others say you are wrong, because you will go to by going up one flight of stairs from now on. It's not someone else who says something about you. You are red-faced and cheeky, so you should go against him. That's stupid. It's really unnecessary.

This is also a law, a law in my heart. You should turn respecting my rules into thanking everyone. Instill such an idea into a child, and he will naturally obey.

3. Mother-in-law

Another difficult problem in family relations is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This can be said to be an important part of mankind.

The mother clung to her son. "He is my son, and he will listen to me." What about the wife? "He is my husband, he is my dependence, he can't transfer, he wants to listen to me." It's hard to be a son and a husband. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law arises from this.

But there is a solution. Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bad? Because we don't pay attention when we talk. My mother-in-law went out to see her friends and said what happened to her daughter-in-law. She was embarrassed that day and deliberately put a lot of salt in the soup for her. When this person hears this and passes it on to his daughter-in-law, the relationship between the two people will deteriorate. The daughter-in-law went out and said, why is the mother-in-law not good? This is a vicious circle.

You see, whenever the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled well, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will praise each other. My mother-in-law always says that my daughter-in-law is no good. One day she went on a business trip and bought me a watch and gold earrings. When I was sick, she was anxious to call a car to the hospital to take care of me ... If so, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law would be easy to handle.

If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, then change yourself and praise each other from now on. If you don't see the other person's good points, you should try to find her good points and praise her. This relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be handled well.

Don't think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law doesn't seem to involve etiquette. This is also etiquette, which is more subtle. Change from the heart, change from the ideological understanding.

In addition to praise in person, you should praise behind your back. What I fear most is praise in person, but that's not the case behind my back. She got even angrier after hearing this. You should say less compliments to your face and more compliments behind your back. Everyone likes to hear good things.