The older people get, the more afraid they are of loneliness, and the more inevitable they are. Therefore, it has become the choice of many elderly people to remarry when they are old, and it is increasingly accepted by their children.

However, it's not simple to remarry when you are old, and it's only necessary to have your children support you. The most important thing is whether you can relieve loneliness and improve each other's quality of life after remarriage.

Therefore, compared with the young people's passion, dedication, hard work and the idea of changing for each other in marriage and love, the old people remarry and have more selfish thoughts, that is, they hope that the other party will bring them as many benefits as possible.

Uncle Li, aged 64, was widowed two years ago, retired as a civil servant, with a monthly pension of 5, yuan and holiday benefits. He is the so-called "golden bachelor for the elderly" in the local area.

after his wife's death, he lived in his children's home for one year. He saw the children's busyness, felt the lack of the same language, and found it difficult to integrate into their children's lives. So he returned to his hometown, and with the persuasion and support of his children, he began to find his wife on blind dates to spend his old age.

1. I want to marry you to avoid bullying my daughter-in-law.

Uncle Li's first blind date was Aunt Cui, 57 years old and widowed for 11 years.

When asked why she chose to remarry, Aunt Cui bowed her head and said in a low voice with tears in her eyes, "My daughter-in-law can't tolerate me. I helped others bring up my children and sent them to school for accommodation, so I became a useless person. I was a thorn in my daughter-in-law's side, and my son was honest and dutiful. I was always in a dilemma in the middle. I am old, no matter what, don't let my children and grandchildren live." Then he sobbed.

Realizing that Aunt Cui has such a son and daughter-in-law, Uncle Li was unhappy and afraid of trouble in the future, so he chose to keep silent.

Seeing that Uncle Li didn't talk, Aunt Cui began to fight for opportunities.

Aunt Cui claims that she has no other thoughts, and she just wants to find someone who knows the cold and the hot. She says that she comes from a rural area, has less words and more work, works hard, washes and eats three meals a day, and she is in good health, with no three highs and no chronic diseases.

Aunt Cui's words obviously touched Uncle Li, and made him have the impulse idea that "I am marrying her, not her son or daughter-in-law".

After that, Uncle Li invited Aunt Cui to have dinner at home, and Aunt Cui immediately tidied up the room for Uncle Li.

At noon, Uncle Li suggested that they go to a restaurant for dinner, but Aunt Cui said that they couldn't eat because they hadn't finished their work. The two of them just cooked some noodles and made a meal.

by three or four o'clock in the afternoon, uncle Li's home image had changed, which made people feel refreshed.

Then Uncle Li and Aunt Cui went to the supermarket to buy vegetables. Knowing that Uncle Li had high blood pressure and a bad heart, Aunt Cui paid great attention to the choice of vegetables. They talked and laughed, and they had a good deal of business. They cooked a balanced dinner with meat and vegetables, which really touched and satisfied Uncle Li.

"To tell the truth, my dead wife is relatively strong. My husband and wife don't speak the same language much, but when I am with her (Aunt Cui), I feel taken care of and distressed. I think she is the best object for me to remarry when I am old. What do I want? That's enough. " Uncle Li said.

but trouble will come soon.

During the third meeting, Aunt Cui said that her son and daughter-in-law wanted to meet Uncle Li.

this meeting was not pleasant.

Aunt Cui's son and daughter-in-law suggested that after Uncle Li and Aunt Cui remarried, all expenses of Aunt Cui would be borne by Uncle Li. After marriage, they are husband and wife. Uncle Li's salary and welfare are both * * *, and Aunt Cui also has the right to control; Aunt Cui's illness, care and expenses after marriage are all paid by Uncle Li; If Aunt Cui has been with Uncle Li for more than 1 years, Uncle Li's housing should also be half that of Aunt Cui; If Aunt Cui goes first, Uncle Li will be responsible for the funeral expenses.

"Tell me the truth first, so as to avoid trouble in the future." Aunt Cui's son and daughter-in-law said.

Obviously, such conditions frightened Uncle Li, and this blind date went away.

2. I want to marry you for my son's college education.

Uncle Li's second blind date is Sister Xu, 44, who divorced her husband for one year.

When asked about the reasons for the divorce, Sister Xu's eyes turned red in an instant.

Sister Xu said that her ex-husband had a bad habit of domestic violence and often punched and kicked her. Because she had been a housewife and had no income, she always put up with it.

However, in recent years, apart from domestic violence, her husband has also added the bad habit of cheating, so that her husband has cut off her living expenses.

She found a place rented by her husband and a woman outside, but she was beaten by her husband.

The reason why she made up her mind to get a divorce was that the child also knew his father's mistake, stood on his mother's side and was beaten by his husband.

Because her life with her ex-husband was not rich, Sister Xu almost left home clean when she divorced.

after the divorce, the children live in the school, and she rents a house outside, working as an hourly worker or nanny for others all the year round to earn money to maintain the children's expenses.

Hearing the complicated situation of Sister Xu, Uncle Li backed out again.

Sister Ke Xu said that she likes Uncle Li very much. At first glance, she is a gentle and cultured person.

She claimed that she didn't mind Uncle Li's age, but just wanted someone to lean on.

after what elder sister Xu said, look at elder sister Xu, with heavy eyebrows and big eyes and tall figure. Although she is dressed simply, it is hard to hide her delicate.

Moreover, being young is an advantage after all, which means that you don't have to worry about washing and eating at home, and in the future, you will always have to take care of the old.

With this in mind, Uncle Li thinks that Sister Xu can also be considered.

In the next two contacts, Uncle Li really felt the benefits of having a young wife.

They went shopping together, and all the things they bought were carried by Sister Xu. They crowded the bus, and Sister Xu pushed the crowd away to let Uncle Li get on first, and then found a seat for Uncle Li and stood beside him.

When I went to Uncle Li's house for the first time, Sister Xu also helped Uncle Li clean the glass inside and outside. Uncle Li felt that the house had never been so bright.

but the actual problem is still a difficult problem.

Sister Xu said that after she got married with Uncle Li, she promised to take good care of Uncle Li.

But her son is a senior three student this year, and his grades are good. She hopes that Uncle Li can treat her child as his own, so that he can go to college, even graduate school, and then get married and help him. More importantly, if Uncle Li is gone one day, she hopes that she and her son are also the legal heirs of Uncle Li's house.

After consulting with his children, Uncle Li, who was undecided, agreed that there was a big age gap between them, and the woman's burden was too heavy, so it was over.

3. I want to marry you for someone to talk to me.

Uncle Li's third blind date is Aunt Guo, a 6-year-old retired teacher whose husband died two years ago, with a monthly pension of 4, yuan.

It can be said that Aunt Guo's conditions are comparable to those of Uncle Li, and compared with the first two blind date partners, Aunt Guo has no complicated family relationship and heavy family burden, and she has income, medical insurance and few future troubles, which makes Uncle Li very satisfied.

Aunt Guo also said that the purpose of her marriage to Uncle Li is very simple, that is, to find someone to chat and talk with, so as not to be so lonely, because there is nothing to say when living with children, and they are not at ease when they live alone.

Aunt Guo's children are also very supportive of remarriage.

What's even more rare is that Uncle Li and Aunt Guo have a lot in common, such as how to keep in good health, how to run a family, how to educate their children, how to behave, and so on.

But Uncle Li soon discovered the infeasibility. Aunt Guo's health is worrying.

Auntie Guo has severe diabetes, and she has various taboos in her diet. Moreover, there are high blood pressure and heart disease, and the schedule is particularly strict; In addition, Aunt Guo has varicose veins, so she can't walk far, stand for a long time, climb stairs or carry heavy objects. Moreover, Aunt Guo's hands are rheumatoid, so she can't touch cold water or catch cold ... < P > "I feel that she found me not only to find someone who can talk, but also to find a free or even upside down male nanny. After marriage, the house will definitely live in me, and the daily expenses will definitely come from me. I have to take care of her in all directions, but I want my wife to take care of me, at least to take care of each other. I am a big man, no matter when I am with my wife or children, I am a role to be taken care of. I don't think I can take care of her. " Uncle Li's consideration is selfish, but it is also realistic.

4. It is better to hire a nanny than to find a wife.

After three blind dates, Uncle Li was deeply disappointed.

after much discussion with his children, he decided to hire a nanny to protect his old age, which is also a good choice.

First of all, nannies tend to be healthy, younger, more professional and capable.

Secondly, the nanny is a paid service, so she only needs to pay her salary, and does not have to bear her family responsibilities.

Thirdly, the nanny's job can be terminated at any time. If it is not suitable, it will be changed until it is satisfactory. If you don't want to get married, it is easy to get married, but difficult to leave.

All the above three points are that hiring a nanny is better than finding a wife. Of course, the labor service provided by a nanny to an employer is not the same as the emotional support provided by a wife to a partner.

So, for the elderly, whether to hire a nanny or find a wife is probably a matter of different opinions.