When making friends and doing things, if you make the other person feel that they have the same interests as you, the other person will be more proactive in doing things and get better results.

Let the other party know that you have the same interests as him, and the other party will do their best to do it. In this world, no one does not work hard to protect their own interests.

In the late Warring States Period, after Shang Yang’s reforms, the Qin State gradually became stronger and became the strongest country among the Seven Powers. Qi, Chu, Yan, Han, Zhao, and Wei were unable to resist the invasion of Qin alone. . In order to confront the powerful Qin State and protect the interests of weak countries, it is imperative for the six countries to unite.

In 314 BC, Su Qin first went to Yan State and pointed out to King Wen of Yan that his country had the same enemies and the same interests as Yan State. In the face of the powerful Qin State, , Small countries are like candles in the wind. Only when everyone unites can the interests of each country be protected from infringement. He persuaded King Wen of Yan to unite with the State of Zhao, which was a hundred miles away, to prevent the powerful Qin State thousands of miles away.

After King Yan Wen accepted Su Qin's suggestion, Su Qin came to Zhao again and pointed out everyone's common interests to Zhao Suhou. He said: "Qin attacked Zhao because it was worried that Han and Wei would attack its rear. If Qin defeated Han and Wei first, and then raised its troops to attack Zhao, disaster would come for Zhao." Su Qin also pointed out to King Zhao: The land of the Six Kingdoms is five times that of Qin, and the soldiers of the Six Kingdoms are ten times that of Qin. If they can unite as one and work with one heart and one mind for the common benefit, they will definitely defeat Qin. Therefore, he hoped that King Zhao would invite the kings of Han, Qi, Chu, Yan and other countries to negotiate and negotiate for the six countries to unite to resist Qin. In this way, Qin would not dare to attack any of the six countries.

During the entire lobbying process, Su Qin grasped the main thread that all countries have to safeguard their own interests, and Qin is their common enemy, which shows that the six countries have the same interests. In terms of relationship, if they are united, they can resist the strong, but if they are divided, they are in danger of being defeated by Qin individually. Therefore, being in the same boat and uniting against Qin is the only choice to protect one's national interests from being divided.

On the contrary, if you exclude the interests of the other party from your own interests, it will affect the effect of doing things.

A lion and a wolf spotted a deer at the same time, so they agreed to hunt down the deer together. They cooperated well, and when the wild wolf knocked the fawn down, the lion stepped forward and killed the fawn in one bite. But at this time, the lion became greedy and did not want to share the deer equally with the wild wolf, so he wanted to bite the wild wolf to death, but the wild wolf resisted with all his strength. Later, the wild wolf was bitten to death by the lion, but the lion also suffered a serious injury. Injured and unable to enjoy delicious food.

If the lion does not kill the wild wolf, but shares the prey equally with the wild wolf, not only will it not be seriously injured, but it will also enjoy delicious food.

The commonality, identity and complementarity of interests are based on unity and concerted efforts. Only in this way can we achieve both prosperity and prosperity and avoid the loss of both.

So, how can we achieve common interests?

1. Always emphasize the common interests that you can obtain. The goal of sharing common interests is the basis for forming mutual trust and close relationships. With the same goals and interests, the conflict between the other party and you can be completely alleviated and avoided.

2. You can often say the word "we" to strengthen the sense of companionship. "We" means "you are also one of them", which can strengthen the other party's awareness of participation and achieve a certain kind of consciousness and resonance with you. When you talk to others, saying "Should we do this?" can shorten the psychological distance between the two parties more than saying "I think we should do this", and it is also easier to make things a complete success.

——Quoted from "There Are More Methods than Problems" by Yanbian People's Publishing House