Adults often teach children to ask, "Can I play with them?" . Sometimes, my children are embarrassed to ask this sentence. Sometimes I ask, and the other child refuses.

As mentioned in the book "Mom, they bully me", this kind of questioning is equivalent to explicitly giving the other party a chance to refuse. These rejections are not out of malice, but because those children themselves lack social skills.

So how to help children make friends?

1. Make clear the rules and join directly.

When children play together, they rarely introduce each other first and then start playing together directly. We can teach children, stand by, observe first, see what each other is playing and listen to what they are saying. Then say something relevant and get involved slowly.

But don't threaten other children, such as stealing other people's toys and trying to dominate the game. This will make children wary of him and exclude him.

Offer help

Other children are playing. If children can help them actively, they can quickly integrate into their circle.

I took my children to play in the bunker the other day. Several children were playing with sand there, and my baby wanted to join in, so I kept watching. One of the children directed the other children to pick up clods. My baby heard this and took the initiative to pick up a lot of clods for him. Then naturally we started to play together.

Step 3 take out a toy

This suggestion only applies to children who are already willing to share and enjoy sharing happiness.

It is also natural to bring your own toys and let other children join in, which is far more effective than asking questions.

Also tell children that there is no need to please others. A good relationship is based on the premise that we feel comfortable. If we feel uncomfortable, there is no need to force ourselves to blend in with others.