Emotional intelligence originally refers to people's ability to control emotions. But when people say that their emotional intelligence is high, it mainly means that others feel comfortable when they get along with you.

To make others comfortable is to take care of others. People should not only have their own careers, but also learn to show kindness to others. People who release goodwill also need skills, observation and proper behavior.

Boys who have no emotional intelligence love to talk. Although I don't have a high EQ, and I don't care about other people's skills, I love her enough in my heart, but the girls are ungrateful and cheated by love rat, who is full of rhetoric. Really blind. Not only in love relationships, but also in other interpersonal relationships. It seems that loving others is a cheap thing. If you love in your heart and do nothing, others have to respect your love and love you back. There are not so many advantages in the world.

A person with low emotional intelligence has a good reputation of purity and innocence, but being his other half is bound to be very tired. In a two-way relationship, one party pays less to maintain feelings, and the other party pays more. If a person doesn't grow up quickly, on the long road, sooner or later, the other person will be exhausted.

To love others is to make others happy. If it can cheer up the person you love, why not?

If you want others to give you love, you should take a step forward.

2

But now, emotional intelligence is also rampant. Let a conversation go on and people will say that they have no emotional intelligence. Most of this conversation is boring. Talking is a waste of life and chatting. If you don't play, you will be blamed. The conversation may be like this.

Tell me, what kind of socks should I buy?

"Buy whatever you want."

"I don't know how you answer this ..."

There are no galeries lafayette and little eunuchs in life, so there is no need to arrange the special role of escort. Chat, follow the fate, talk about where you are, come back in full swing on impulse, and don't have to talk or work hard. Interesting things become less interesting.

I have met many people who can talk about anything. Everyone laughed for a while, which seemed quite interesting. But I still have to tell the truth, and that's all. It's actually boring to think about it. I think I'm not the only one who has this idea. Wang Xiaobo has a word called "interesting". Boy, when he became famous, the word was overexploited, and people tried their best to make it interesting to the point of mediocrity.

Once, a friend asked me, "What good books can you recommend?" . I thought about it carefully and said, "No way." I have forgotten the original words of my friend's response, which probably means, why are you so serious? I don't really want your recommendation. Just answer a few books and we can talk about this day.

My friend is a sensitive and kind person. He may want to communicate with me more, and I like this friend very much. But chatting like this makes me wonder if this is a contemporary prank game. In fact, I said no at that time, precisely because people often ask me for letters of recommendation, and most people don't read them, but I still have to say what to say. I felt bored, so I simply said no. ...

three

It is difficult for people who have no vision to say sparks to speak. Since you have worked hard, you can't come in vain, so I think there are two days worth spending more time talking about.

One is profound, and I hope to talk about some connotations in my favorite field, which is beneficial to each other; One is funny, unconstrained style, which can make people laugh, but this kind of funny is mostly deep grimacing and telling jokes, but there are also places worth thinking about. But won't such people be bored? It's not necessarily boring. Everyone has his own taste.

The rest of the chat, where to chat. Lovers talk less, but a friend of a gentleman is as light as water.

But in life, doing so will be said to be too self-centered. If you are poor, you will be immune, and if you are rich, you will help the world. If you do this, others will say you are poor, but everyone likes talent and can talk about anything. Why? Because people are boring and can't stay alone, it's interesting to wait for people in hot water. People's fear of loneliness and boredom is one of the reasons why people attach importance to interpersonal relationships. In fact, compared with others, it is better to save yourself and enrich yourself, so that you will have your own fun wherever you go.

Another reason why interpersonal relationships are important is interest.

I don't want to chat, and I hate flattery and lack of nutrition. If there is no interest relationship, you can ask questions in the chat and go your own way. But I can't help myself in the Jianghu. You have to talk about this day, but you can't. This is more important than anything. This is a political task. If you really don't want to talk, I'll help you think of something to refute them. I think ... it's over, but forget it. Interest belongs to interest, and survival belongs to survival, which is also the helplessness of adults.

four

Understanding people according to the established emotional intelligence routine will hinder people from falling in love.

There is a road where ten cars pass every day. In the past many years, an old man had to cross this road to buy breakfast across the street. Before crossing the road, he shook his head left and right, looking at no cars. One day, in order to make more achievements, the traffic bureau installed traffic lights on this road. The old man has never seen it and doesn't understand the traffic rules. On this day, he crossed the road as usual.

But this morning, this behavior, which has been watched by breakfast shop owners for many years, turned into another problem-the old man's lack of morality and ran a red light. The whole village changed the day the traffic lights were put on. Because of the introduction of a new symbol system, ordinary behavior has changed its flavor.

I'm not saying that people should run red lights. that this is not the important question. As I just said, people not only change the face of the world by material means, but also change the face of the world by symbolic means. It doesn't matter to transform a thing in a simplified way, but when the object of transformation is people, people should be more cautious.

Emotional intelligence is a traffic light for interpersonal communication, and observing words and feelings means watching traffic lights.

Playing cards according to the routine may make communication more convenient, reduce friction and misunderstanding, and make it easier to judge people, but it may also increase misunderstandings. We are more sensitive, make some boring things beyond recognition, and waste our efforts for some words. Jealousy, suspicion and selfishness are increasing rather than decreasing. There are too many symbol systems in the world, but they add a burden to the mind.

Love should have emotional intelligence, because love needs to pay; The observer should be patient, because the eyes that look at the world value innocence.

five

People's position can be more detached. The world people live in is just a big sauce jar, in which all kinds of people stir and rub against each other, making each other more delicate, silky, delicious and even darker.

Emotional intelligence is a traffic light, and it is a kind of ability to stir sauce. It's boring to stare at these things all day. It seems that there is nowhere else to work except stirring.

In fact, people have many problems to think about, so there is no need to stir them around. This question may be about how to be a good cook, how to be a good mother, or how to be a good citizen, how to love, how to get self-satisfaction, or it may be about an ancient era, about human suffering, about the operation of the world, even about philosophy, about literature, about plants coming back in autumn, about the silent sky.

Many people ask what books to read. I think it is more important to think of a decent question before that. The most important clue to reading is yourself, and the relationship you will establish with books is also personal, unique but congenial. Sometimes, you go to a library along this huge clue, only to find that the whole library can't answer your question, so you go to the wider world and are fascinated by the answer. However, you will never look for it in the scene of fighting between people. You know there is no answer. After a long search, you may find the answer. More likely, you will waste your life and get nothing. Just like big sauce is just big sauce, it will sink to the bottom of the tank.

But with those doubts in his mind, he suddenly felt that with the wingspan, the sky was coming down to kiss people. Although the sky may never fall, it is a bit strong.

Of course, people can't be completely provoked. People want to stir up places, even if you don't want to stir up, you have to be stirred up. But if you have a little pursuit in your heart, you can get as much satisfaction as possible. If you stir the sauce, it is still sauce. It's better to stir less and play something else.

Liu Jingli, senior manager of the sales department and employee of the year, gave a lecture on the training course for newcomers. Liu Jingli is a female general. She has been engaged in sales for less than five years, but with her excellent eloquence and honest service, she has won the affirmation and support of many customers.

Liu Jingli said that as an excellent salesperson, the first thing to do is to learn to make friends with customers, that is, to establish a trust relationship with customers. Only when customers trust you will they buy your products. At this moment, Xiao Zhang stood up and said, I have a problem with Liu Jingli's definition of "promotion". The definition of promotion mentioned by the teacher is this: promotion is an activity to persuade and induce potential buyers to buy certain goods and services in order to achieve the marketing objectives of the enterprise and meet the needs of customers ... So I think that only by selling the products at the lowest level can we win customers better, instead of making friends at the beginning. If we can't make friends for a year or two, then our products have long been replaced by those of other manufacturers. What can we talk about sales?

Liu Jingli didn't say anything after hearing his theory, but personally took him to meet a new client. Liu Jingli gave this customer carte blanche to Xiao Zhang and let him handle this customer in his own way. As soon as Xiao Zhang met the customer, he couldn't wait to talk to the customer about how good the company's products were, and promised generously that if he could sign the bill, the price would be the lowest and delivery would be guaranteed within one week. Xiao Zhang told the customer all the bottom lines of his products in one breath. But the customer told him with a grain of salt that there was something wrong with the quality of your product! Xiao Zhang asked: Why? The customer said that this product will not be delivered for at least one month, and the price you gave was lower than that of similar products 10%. Are you cutting corners ... Xiao Zhang said that the price I gave you was the lowest, and there was no commission after finishing this order ... The more Xiao Zhang explained, the more suspicious the customer became.

The other Xiao Yang, who just left school, has poor eyesight.

It is not difficult for the boss to ask Chen Jie, an old employee, to make a plan. Anyone with a discerning eye can see that the boss intends to give Sister Chen a chance to show her face. For some reason, Xiao Yang took the initiative to come to Sister Chen and said, Sister Chen, I won the grand prize in the school plan, and I have a better chance to win the job for you. Sister Chen said politely, Xiao Yang, thank you for your help, but how dare I bother you? ! Xiao Yang said, Sister Chen, don't treat me like an outsider. I'll ask the boss for instructions. Sister Chen said, Xiao Yang, wait a minute. I really don't need help. Xiao Yang went straight to the boss's office without looking back. He took out his prize and planning scheme, and made a written statement in front of his boss: If the planning didn't win this prize, he would be transferred to another department, and repeatedly stressed that it was to help Chen Jie. Seeing Xiao Yang's sincere words and firm attitude, the boss agreed to his request. Chen Jie is unwilling to ask Xiao Yang for help. Obviously, Xiao Yang will get half of the bonus. How can she be calm?

Emotion is a subtle thing, once touched, you can't control yourself, but in feelings, a person's emotional intelligence is very important, because the level of emotional intelligence directly affects whether two people are happy or not. The role of EQ is far greater than IQ, because IQ can only prove your reaction ability and thinking speed, and EQ is the premise for two people to communicate and communicate. For men with high emotional intelligence, women are willing to associate with them, while for men with low emotional intelligence, life is absolutely miserable. The following performance can prove the level of emotional intelligence!

1, self-righteous, male chauvinism. Never know how to think of others, never care about their feelings, always think that they are great, and never care whether their actions will hurt others.

2. Like to brag and belittle each other. All aspects of life want to show their Excellence and can't wait to describe themselves as the best people. When I see that others are a little inferior to myself, I will try my best to belittle each other.

3, suffer indignities at work, go home to vent. Bring the best side to others, bring the worst side to those who love themselves the most, knowing that they will not leave themselves but hurt their families unscrupulously. People with this behavior have extremely low emotional intelligence.

4, talking without thinking, always poking people's pain. This kind of person shows that he can't talk and likes to poke people's pain and expose their shortcomings. Never consider each other's feelings, and show your strength in this way.

5. Pay too much attention to what others think of you. Such people always think a lot, are suspicious, worry too much, can't hear their own shortcomings, are always suspicious, and wonder if the other party's actions are aimed at themselves.

6. Narrow-minded and short-sighted. As a man, how can he achieve great things without a broad mind? Always like to find fault with each other everywhere, but never know how to reflect. I always like to tell others about my life and never improve my shortcomings.

7, small belly chicken intestines. I can't lose a little by myself. Even if girls take advantage, they like to argue with each other and argue about your sense of superiority, always trying to take advantage of words.

8, impulsive, not thinking. Such people often let negative emotions occupy their own reason, are impulsive, do things without thinking, and can't control their emotions.

9. I have no foresight. Go to someone else's house and stay until dinner. I always like to visit others at inappropriate times. Or, during lunch break, calling others, which is illogical, is the most annoying.

If a man has the above nine performances, then you should pay attention. Don't let a good life be troubled by this kind of emotional intelligence. If you find that your other half is such a person, it is better to have short-term pain than long-term pain. Kill yourself!

When I was in junior high school, in a school with an avant-garde humanistic environment in this city, my classmates were well-informed. I felt that I was a kind of person with a frivolous personality and style. For example, I always like to make fun of others too much: there is a classmate in the dormitory who has a hunchback, nicknamed Shuiyu, an honest man, and is easy to bully, so I often make fun of him and call him a turtle, and I often do some humorous things at that time, with some disgusting and embarrassing behaviors in retrospect. There is also a god-learning boss, who is my lower berth. Once, they were discussing whether EQ is the quality of being a person or the IQ of falling in love. The boss thought it was the IQ of love, but I insisted that it was the quality of being a man. I didn't know how difficult it was to put my own ideas into other people's heads to change others, so I argued. Later, after a while, we discussed it again when we slept at night. The boss admits that emotional intelligence is really the quality of being a human being. If it were now, I would just laugh it off, but at that time, I was young and frivolous and didn't understand the way of the world, and I proudly hit him in the face: didn't you say this was the IQ of previous love? I tell you that you don't believe me because of my low quality, hee hee ... so until now that big brother still thinks I am a person with low emotional intelligence. There are still many such self-righteous low-explosive behaviors. Looking back now, it's really embarrassing that cancer will happen.

I went to high school and came to a simple school. The students laughed and got rough, and what I said was embarrassing. Isn't that what I used to be? I began to look at these behaviors with the eyes of the big boss, which really made people uncomfortable. I began to shape myself into what I wanted.

Anyway, what should I do to improve my EQ?

1. Read more books

This is really important! The energy contained in books and the author's wisdom for many years can transform us from the root. Their philosophy of life, dialectical or subjective views, their thinking and appreciation of life are like catalysts, which let us know ourselves and transform ourselves. Here, Mr. Shi Tiesheng's work "Ditan and I" can really be called the pearl of contemporary literature. When you look at it, you need inner peace, and savoring the life beliefs and feelings will really make you unconsciously worship. Generally speaking, it is to draw energy from the author's words and exchange ideas. After all, it is the wisdom precipitated by the author in his long life, which is not easily realized by ordinary people in a mediocre life.

2. Learn to read what you say.

When we grow up, we will find that the world is not as inclusive as we thought. We should think of others, look at their faces and feel their feelings, so that we can have our own place in this complex society. Learning to read and read is a compulsory subject in interpersonal communication. No matter in the company, at home, with friends or strangers, you must observe your words and deeds when communicating with others. For example, I used to joke with my friends, but later I learned that the principle of joking is that others find it humorous. It is no longer a joke to offend others or poke others. So when I joke later, I always observe other people's expressions to avoid accidental injury. This is a sense of speech.

Take care of your heart.

Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you. This is elementary school knowledge. Thinking from the standpoint of others can make us have a more comprehensive and objective vision and unique insights on the problem, and it is easier for others to appreciate it. But be careful not to be possessed, think about your life with other people's brains all day, and make yourself sentimental, but you won't be recognized by others.

This is why you are not confident. As long as you are confident that you can express your views, it is helpful to read more books within your eloquence.