We humans are social animals, so we all have to associate with friends. What kind of friends are worth socializing with? Is what we have been exploring since ancient times.
Confucius said, "Friends are frank, friends forgive, and friends learn more, which is beneficial." Is to make friends with honest people, make friends with honest people, and make friends with well-informed people.
Zeng Guofan once wrote "Twelve maxims" to sum up his ways of making friends. There are eight kinds of good friends: those who are better than us in some respects, those who are good in moral character, those who are interested in life, those who are willing to sacrifice their own interests, those who are outspoken, those who are ambitious, those who are willing to help when encountering difficulties, and those who are considerate of others.
There are "nine don't pay": people with different aspirations, flatterers, unkind people, people who don't respect their elders, pedants, people who fall into wells, people who take advantage of others, people who are immoral and ungrateful.
From my own experience, people who can become friends must have at least the following two principles:
1, the principle of doing things in good faith, people with moral bottom line can associate.
Honesty and trustworthiness is the greatest principle, and making friends with such people will also improve your self-cultivation. A person who has no bottom line is terrible and betrays him without knowing it.
2. People who know how to repay kindness, know how to be grateful and have grace.
The communication between people is polite and reciprocal. When the other party invites you, you should remember to reply to the invitation. People who only know how to eat other people's food but don't know how to invite them back, and people who don't appreciate the benefits, don't be intimate. Because one day, your goodness can only be fed to wolves, and no amount of goodness can fill the hearts of ungrateful people.
If you have friends who can communicate deeply, you should also know that "everyone loves you for a long time." It is difficult to see a person's personality in short-term communication, so we should communicate more and exchange views on various things; See if her words and deeds are consistent; Whether people are right or wrong behind their backs. There are a lot of things that can only be experienced together. Only by dating for more than 5 years can we determine whether we can be good friends for a long time.
Even friends should pay attention to the principles of communication between friends:
1, distinguish between friendship and friendship, and don't be "concise". Friendship is our consistent attitude towards others. Be friendly to strangers, people you meet for the first time, colleagues and friends. Friendship is a good friend. Don't treat friendship as friendship, and "talk briefly and deeply" with everyone, so others will be surprised, and you will unconsciously offend others.
Don't make friends just to make friends.
Although people need friends, we should first make friends with ourselves, not with others because of loneliness.
You know, life is full of variables, no one can accompany you through life, and friends are also a journey. Just like taking a bus, you will get on and off. Knowing how to make friends with yourself will not lower the standard of making friends when you are lonely.
Don't get involved in disputes between friends and others.
Although our friends are in trouble, we should help them, but we should also do our best. Especially for girls, women are vulnerable groups in violent crimes, so don't challenge human nature, know how to protect yourself first, and life will always be the first.
For example, Jiang Ge, if she didn't take Liu Xin in, but subsidized Liu Xin to live in another place, and encouraged Liu Xin to call the police for more professional help, the tragedy might not have happened.
Jiangge is dead! Qian Qian is absolutely as brave and lovely as Jiangge. It's time to think deeply. Look carefully at the friends you can make and want to know the safe distance between friends. You should be a warm person, a sober person.