At some stage in life, everyone must set a goal. You can't live without goals, and people without goals will go into emptiness. Goals are related to your vision and your current abilities. The better your eyes are, the more correct your goals will be. The higher your vision, the higher your goal. The so-called horizon is the focus of what you see, which is directly related to your life values and determines your life direction. Let me make an analogy here. When skating, if you want to change your direction and look in any direction, you can turn to that direction. Therefore, if your life values are dominated by wealth, you will design goals related to wealth; If your life values are based on personal hobbies, you will design goals that are consistent with your hobbies. In addition to your vision, the success of your life goals is also related to your current ability. Our ability and qualification determine our next goal. If you are a graduate of Peking University now and get 90 points in every course, you can set your next goal as going to Harvard for a master's degree or a doctor's degree. But if you are only a junior college student now, your decision to go to Harvard is undoubtedly too far away and unrealistic. The goal of life is always accomplished step by step, just like climbing a high mountain, you have to climb it step by step. In addition, when designing life goals, we must take our own nature into account and do things that are not in line with our own nature. Usually, the probability of failure is greater than the probability of success. For example, you should analyze whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. Introverts are suitable for jobs that they like and focus on, while extroverts may be suitable for dealing with people. A wrong judgment of oneself may be followed by a lifetime of pain and frustration.
We should feel this process carefully.
The route of life consists of two parts: the goals in different stages of life and the process of moving towards these goals. Goals are of course very important, because without goals, there is no direction in life, but the process of achieving goals is even more essential, and the beauty of life comes out in this process. What we can really feel is always a moment's touch, the fragrance of every grass and tree, or an unforgettable memory of one person and one thing. The goal is like a mountain peak. Even if we look at the mountain peaks every day, as long as we don't take action to climb them, all the wonderful stories will not happen and all the scenery along the way will be out of reach. When we take the first step to the top, we enter the process of life, and the whole content of life begins, and the goal has been quietly sleeping in a corner of our hearts. Only when we lose our way can we wake up. In our life, we often feel pain and misfortune, we expect too much from the realization of our goals, and we exaggerate the degree of difficulty. We are jealous of other people's achievements but lose our hearts. We regret yesterday's mistakes, but give up today's time. In fact, there are countless delicious strawberries waiting for us to pick every day. Every morning, the first ray of sunshine rises for us. Every greeting from others is a sincere concern for us. Every trouble and difficulty we encounter is a test of our courage and endurance. As long as we make sincere efforts, whether we can achieve our goal successfully is no longer so important, because even if we fail, we can learn more from it. There is almost no eternity in the world. College students fall in love and swear every day that I will love you for life. This is actually untrue, just expressing a wish. But we are still talking, because at least at that moment, our expression is true feelings. Pursuing eternal love is a lifelong dream of human beings, because people are always enriched in love. However, this is not the case in real life. Statistics show that 90 of the 65,438+000 college couples who are in love will eventually break up, and half of them will eventually get married. Do you think love can last forever? So the truest statement is: "Today, at this moment, I really love you." Maybe tomorrow you will be lovelorn. After lovelorn, we will experience the pain of lovelorn. Then let's experience it. This experience is also a process of enriching your life.
answer
Calm down and think about it.
Four fans
Fourth Floor
We should face failure calmly.
The process of a person's growth is the process of constantly looking for opportunities to seize in failure. No failure, no success. Life without setbacks and failures is not rich, just like boiled water, pure but tasteless. Whether a person lives a rich life does not depend on his age, but on whether the process of his life is colorful and whether he can seize opportunities in the process of experiencing life. Opportunities in life are usually disguised. They come to you in terrible coats. Most people will avoid them, but people with unique qualities can see their essence and catch them. The most important of these qualities is the ability and courage to bear failure. I have encountered many failures in my life, but it is these failures and the opportunities hidden behind them that have finally made me. Finally, I understand that the hidden opportunity behind failure may be the best opportunity, which further increases my courage to face failure. Later, it became my normal state to face setbacks and failures calmly. In the face of failure, I will constantly inspire my fighting spirit, just as Gorky said in Haiyan: Let the storm (failure) come more violently. One can grow from the hardships and failures of life, just as rotten soil can grow fresh plants. The soil may be rotten, but it can provide nutrition for plants; Failure is a pity, but it can temper our wisdom and courage and create more opportunities. Only by facing failures and tests with a peaceful mind can we mature and gain. And those failures and setbacks will become priceless wealth in life, which is worth cherishing in the depths of our memory forever.
Believe in yourself and others.
Believe in yourself, believe that you can get out of trouble, believe that you can create wealth and achievements, believe that you can do what others can do, and believe that the world is still bright. In addition, we must go deep into society and know others. The most terrible darkness of a person is the darkness of his heart, the most terrible closure of a person is the closure of his soul, and the most desperate state of a person is the loss of trust in others. Only when we take the initiative to get to know others and make friends with others can we have a brighter life and more opportunities. I have two sentences you must remember here: The first sentence is: Don't wait to be loved to love. The second sentence is: don't wait for a good job to start working. These two sentences contain several meanings. First, be confident, believe that you can love others and do your job well. Second, what we have must be positive morality. Only when we love others will others love us. Only by doing a good job can we have a good job. Third, the world is beautiful. We should have confidence in the world, because if we love others, others will love us. If we do well, we will be recognized by others. Some people say that I love others, and others don't love me. I have done my job well. What if others ignore me? This is still your mentality is wrong. Doing everything in the hope of getting the reward at that time is selfish and has no foresight. No one likes a man who is eager for quick success and instant benefit. We should have a correct attitude. There are many things in life. Only when you have the right attitude can you do things right and life become better. We feel that the world is impetuous because our hearts are impetuous. We feel that the world is mediocre and our hearts are mediocre. As long as we change our mentality, our lives will be different. I am a good example myself. Before, I always felt like a loser. I passed the college entrance examination for three years. I am a loser; ; When I entered the university, no girl ever fell in love with me. I am a loser; ; I got tuberculosis in the third year of college, and I am a loser; ; I have been teaching at Peking University for seven years, and I have made no achievements, and I am still a loser. . 10 has never participated in any activities or groups of Peking University. I am a loser; . Being expelled from Peking University has no place to live. I am a loser. Before I was 30, I hardly tasted the joy of success. My self-confidence is constantly being destroyed by reality. Later, I went to the foreign language training department to attend classes and constantly worked hard to improve my class level. Finally, in the classroom, in the eyes of students, I gradually recovered a little self-confidence. When I became more and more interested in training, I decided to be my own school. In the process of doing school and dealing with others, I keep failing, succeeding, failing and succeeding. In this process, I established my indomitable character. My good friend Wang Qiang commented on me: Yu is as strong as a reed. It means that although my personality is flexible, it is not easy to give in. Later, I found that many successful people in China around me are very soft and rigid. In this world, we should be less timid and more brave; Less inferiority and more confidence; Less doubt, more trust. There is no harm in trusting the world and others. Of course, the premise of trusting others is to trust your own judgment first, and judge whether the friends you associate with are good for you or not, and whether your environment is good for you. But we must show our trust in the world, otherwise we can't move forward.
Let the confident sunshine shine on the young mind.
Four years of college is very important in a long life, although it is very short, especially in China, where higher education is not popular enough, especially for the children of farmers who have changed their identity and destiny. More than 20 years ago, when I was admitted to Peking University from a remote rural area in the northwest, even the counties and cities had only been there a few times. Far from home, the capital brings more confusion to farmers and teenagers than fresh excitement. The seemingly clear and simple life plan suddenly becomes complicated and unpredictable, as if it had passed through a kaleidoscope. University is the mature period of critical thinking ability in life. Faced with such a huge contrast and such a long temptation, it is not easy to get lost or even cause personality defects. As a college student who once walked out of the countryside, my four-year study experience is of little reference value to freshmen, especially farmers' disciples who have just entered the bustling city.
In my opinion, it is far more important and practical to cultivate a good thinking mode and generate a healthy spiritual world and personality charm compared with the professional knowledge learned in four years in college. To form an objective and rational judgment, learn to respect and self-esteem, become open and calm, and be full of enthusiasm and longing for future life, all of which need self-confidence to support. The initial cultivation of a person's self-confidence is obtained by being recognized and affirmed again and again. It is like a fragile bud, and the encouragement from the environment will moisten it like dew and make it grow into a leafy tree. On the contrary, repeated setbacks will make it die young and become a psychological shadow that will never linger.
From middle school to college, life suddenly has many independent choices. In addition to specialized courses, various student associations, various reports and speeches, various elective courses, and colorful activities temporarily organized by classes, departments and schools not only provide students with an environment to absorb nutrition and improve themselves, but also provide them with a stage to show their talents and self. Freshmen who have just opened their eyes often dabble enthusiastically and even participate blindly. There was a classmate from the southern countryside in our class that year. Since his freshman year, he has participated in training classes or student clubs, including guitar, Go, ballroom dancing, campus radio, appreciation of western paintings and so on, which can be described as various and all-encompassing. But the result is not only fruitless, but more seriously, the frustration of challenging himself again and again has caused a devastating blow to his self-confidence, which in turn has affected his studies and personality. He changed from an enthusiastic extrovert to a depressed one, and seemed to have lost interest in everything.
I don't mean not to dabble extensively in this example, but to advocate blindly challenging myself. People's personality types, growing environment and life experiences are different, which determines the difference between static and dynamic, literature and martial arts. At the university stage when my personality and thinking are gradually shaped and mature, I advocate adapting to my own personality characteristics and abilities and participating in extracurricular activities or clubs selectively, so that I can easily give full play to my strengths and have a higher chance of successfully showing myself. Self-awareness of the surrounding environment will accumulate again and again to cultivate the nutrition of self-confidence, and the bud of self-confidence can only become a part of your personality if it grows into a tree. Blind and indiscriminate challenges will inevitably increase the chances of setbacks, and repeated setbacks will undoubtedly shake and doubt the self-confidence in the growth period, and even turn into uncorrectable psychological inferiority, laying the seeds of failure for future life. I clearly remember that the classmate from the southern countryside in my class is a person with a particularly smart brain and lack of coordination in sports. When I was studying dance in the national standard class, I was depressed because I was refused to dance with girls many times. As a result of this development, he became insecure about Go, which he was best at.
I emphasize consciously cultivating my self-confidence when participating in student associations or extracurricular activities, and have no intention of denying the importance of specialized courses. On the contrary, the quality of professional achievements directly affects the formation of college self-confidence. It's just that the study of specialized courses is completely different from that of middle schools. It is not that the more time you spend, the longer you sit at your desk, the easier it is to get good grades. In my rough understanding, if you choose those science majors with strong cohesion and need to accumulate to a certain height, you must lay a solid foundation. If you choose some liberal arts majors that need to cultivate your horizons and experience, you don't have to spend all your time on meaningless textbooks. Instead, we should take part in some extracurricular activities as much as possible, which will be of great benefit to enrich ourselves and choose a career in the future.
A trip
My college life is accompanied by multiple experiences. This is the first time I have lived in a city outside my hometown for a long time. This is the first trip. It's like relaxing naked in butter, listening to a dialect you don't understand, watching scenes you haven't experienced and eating different styles of food, and letting these experiences invade you. What's more important is to get in touch with many people who live in different environments with me and understand their way of thinking.
The longer journey is to London. I really realize that people's minds can be so different. You can disagree with these ideas, but you must know. From then on, I fell in love with traveling. During my study abroad, I often look through the atlas to find out what kind of scenery and culture there will be in different places with distorted latitude and longitude lines. Then I booked a plane ticket online and checked the hotel. People and things in the trip are more memorable than the scenery. Thieves in Madrid took my money unnoticed. An American buddy who lives in Italian-speaking Switzerland shouted excitedly when he heard me speak English. The black man in new york kindly gave me his seat ... Even in my own country, Shanghai, I met an old gentleman. When we asked "How far is it from here", he replied "I haven't measured it, how do I know" and was hit by the accuracy of Shanghai style. All this has greatly enriched my experience. 67 is not a short time for me. If I just passed a few exams in college education, I have to say that it is too expensive to get a master's degree or a bachelor's degree. It is more lasting value to establish a world outlook, understand what kind of person you want to be and how to work consciously for it in your life. Contact with different people, understand different ideas and experience different lifestyles, which is probably the true meaning of the ancient "study tour". In today's globalized and personalized society, it is not only important, but also a decisive factor.
One of the most important functions of a university is to mold you into a professional in a certain field. Since then, the ordinary world has become a different reality in your eyes because of different majors. The love of your major is the motivation for you to devote yourself wholeheartedly to it. I was lucky, I had a certain understanding of my major before I went to college. When I really started to learn architecture, I had an export-like happiness about my hobbies in middle school. But unfortunately, under our existing education system, most middle school students do not know the information of various majors in universities. Or a vague impression. Many people start studying before they realize that they don't like or are not suitable for this major. So from pain to decadence. For society, it may also waste a person who may be very successful in other aspects. When I arrived in Britain, I found that there is a good system in the education system of this country-A Level. Under this system, students begin to learn what they will study in university in the third year of high school. The key point of learning is not to remember how much knowledge to cope with the exam, but to find out what the subject is about, what problems to solve and what research methods to adopt. In this way, students will have a clear understanding of themselves and their majors. To some extent, it avoids the three-pronged confusion when choosing a major.
When it comes to research methods, it must also be mentioned in university education, which is also the biggest difference between university education and primary and secondary schools. Most of the knowledge in primary and secondary schools is known and conclusive. Therefore, in the reality that there are a large number of students in our country, and the improvement of the overall population quality is the overriding problem, it is also a bad way to teach primary and secondary schools, and students do not do too much research and passively accept knowledge. However, in the university stage, such a learning method will definitely become a shackle that limits professional development. Starting from the source of knowledge, constantly questioning, not believing in authority, and conducting independent research with a broad academic vision is the way of a university. The autonomy of learning is extremely important. Autonomy first comes from the love of career. After that, I have a clear understanding of the professional research framework and understand my position in this framework built by countless ancient and modern figures, and my innovation will be targeted.
Autonomous life
University is the beginning for many people to leave their families and face the society as independent individuals. In the collective life of the university, everyone collides with each other like a pile of hard stones that have not been honed, and the requirements of the society are realistically placed before everyone for the first time. I have experienced countless puzzles and pains in this respect, and I have grown up from them bit by bit. From cramming to herding sheep, how to arrange yourself in the face of unprecedented freedom. This is a lesson I have been studying since I went to college. From the simple and pure single environment and single goal artificially created by middle school students to the colorful university life, I feel as confused as hearing Morpheus say "welcome to reality" after taking medicine.
University is a collective life, where I have made friends who can be regarded as lifelong friends and met girlfriends who love each other deeply. I learned a lot from them, so what followed was "How to be myself?" "How to be yourself?" This is also the first lesson I learned from an English senior in my college when I first arrived in London. Being responsible for yourself, always keeping the ability of introspection and independent thinking is the answer I can give. I remember when I first went to college, I read an article introducing the younger generation of Japanese architects in a magazine, which said, "For Japanese architects born after the sixties and seventies, it is necessary to prove their reasons for existence." I didn't understand it at that time, but now I am very touched. Because in a pluralistic society, characteristics have become the only reason for existence.
Common psychological troubles of all grades in colleges and universities
freshman year
Almost all the unique problems during freshman year can be attributed to adaptability. When every aspiring young man enters the university campus with lofty sentiments and begins a new stage of life, due to the great changes in living environment, learning content, ideal goals, hobbies and interpersonal relationships, their mentality becomes complicated, and various contradictions and problems often appear, which is called "freshmen are not suitable". Specifically including:
Living environment is not suitable. Freshmen from their former parents depend on themselves for everything in college life. This psychological contrast between dependence and independence can easily make freshmen feel uncomfortable, break their original romantic imagination of the university, and breed loneliness, nostalgia and nervousness about new things.
Suggestion: communicate with classmates and roommates more. Everyone has similar feelings in this regard. If you can't adapt, you should ask for help in time. At this time, parents should not continue to encourage dependence, but should trust their children and believe that they can adapt to college life well.
Learning is not suitable. This maladjustment is mainly manifested in the maladjustment of learning mentality and goals. Mentally, freshmen pay attention to the outstanding students in high school and become ordinary members of the university. The loss of sense of superiority and the loss of the original support point of learning have made many freshmen feel empty and bored, and even began to lead a muddled life. There are significant differences in learning objectives between universities and senior high schools. The goal of high school study is clear: get high marks in the college entrance examination; Senior high school students are not the main body of learning, but the passive recipients of learning in "cramming teaching". When entering the university, many freshmen can't clearly understand the goal and significance of learning, and they don't have the ability of autonomous learning. The resulting sense of pressure and powerlessness has become a new problem.
Suggestion: Adjust your mentality and find your own learning interests and goals. Consult teachers and brothers and sisters more to improve the ability of autonomous learning.