First of all, there are different kinds of friends.

The first kind-emotional, such as small/middle/college friends;

The second type-interest-oriented, such as colleagues.

Secondly, friends are graded.

High-energy people associate with low-energy people, high-energy people pay resources, and low-energy people absorb and return feedback in other ways in the future. This friendship is called support.

High-energy people associate with low-energy people, and high-energy people pay resources unilaterally without asking for anything in return. This friendship is called giving.

Conversely;

Low-energy people associate with high-energy people, and low-energy people offer hospitality and care in order to get more scarce resources from high-energy people. This kind of friendship is called please.

Low-energy people associate with high-energy people, and low-energy people provide hospitality and care without asking for anything in return. This friendship is called worship.

Can't read the long article, please see the picture?

Can you read a long article, please?

"What? Do you have to pack up and make friends? "

"Of course, arm yourself from the image to the head!"

① image

In this society, the first impression you give people is exaggerated, so you can decide whether it is necessary to continue to communicate.

The importance of personal image is self-evident, which has already gone beyond the category of brand-name clothes and pedals, and even involves every hair of your head!

Whether the hair is soft or greasy, whether the hairstyle is fashionable or conservative, these details are irrelevant, and they are the criteria for others to judge us. We don't have to ask the chief stylist to get 1000 yuan's hair, but if you are not a fashion pioneer in art, please be sure to trim your hair diligently.

The hair here is just a metaphor, and a clean hairstyle is the most basic requirement. There are stars in your eyes and a smile on your face; Clothes may not be famous brands, but they should be clean and obedient; Draw a light makeup, at least lip-shaped; Nails can not be painted, but they should be trimmed neatly; Spray an antiperspirant and a perfume if possible.

If the personal image is not outstanding, ordinary is also a choice, because we can strive for other extra points!

② Words and deeds

Your words and deeds should be consistent with your appearance, even higher than your appearance, so as to establish a perfect image.

Teacher Liu Xiping said in the book that managing personal image is like managing a brand. When you see LV, you will think it is a symbol of luxury. Why? Because in addition to this expensive brand of things, you will also see that the service staff in the store are elegant in dress and conversation.

He made another analogy. If a real LV bag is sold at a stall in an alley today, even if it is true, you won't recognize it or buy it.

Therefore, everything you say and do is consistent with your appearance, even higher than your appearance. It's like a takeaway brother cooking in person, isn't it an accident? Surprised or not? So let people remember!

③ thinking

Your thinking, take the initiative, take the initiative, take the initiative again, maybe you will have a story.

People always have a misconception that initiative is the expression of extroversion, but in fact, initiative really has nothing to do with personality, but whether you really want to know someone. For example, if you want to know Li Shanglong, of course, you should take the initiative to attend his class and add his number. Why don't you wait for him to come to you?

Some people are not very sociable. How can such a person go to a party or a party to break the ice?

Teacher Liu Xiping told us that, first of all, we should know that there are many such people. If you are like this, others may be like this. You will think so, others may think so, and others hope that someone can take the initiative to deal with him.

If you don't know each other before today, the worst result is that you will never know each other again, but if you take the first step bravely today, the probability of your knowing each other is 80% to 90%, and you may even become friends.

This is actually the truth both offline and offline. I join a writing group, and there are always some people in the group who don't talk. One of the reasons is that they are afraid of silence when they say something.

What happened to the ice? Nobody laughs at you. But if it's not silence, what if someone responds? It was just talk, but after some communication, we collided with each other. Maybe it inspires us and broadens our thinking. Isn't it a lot of benefits?

So, if we take the initiative, maybe there will be stories; If we take the initiative, maybe the story will be more exciting.

Yes, but where can I make friends?

"Work, party, network."

① Company

Is it awkward to talk about friends at work?

Tell you for sure: no.

Being able to enter the same company shows your ability, vision, concept, etc. It's all the same, just like college roommates. This is fate, you can become attached.

Affinity is to establish a harmonious relationship with others. To put it bluntly, it is to make good friends. You don't have to stick to time and place to make friends. It is something that can be done anytime and anywhere.

As a newcomer in the workplace, you should be reliable in doing things, serious in attitude, sweet in mouth, quick in action and kind in performance. These are not flattery, but rules. Who doesn't like such a newcomer? Sometimes seniors will give more advice and care. They just lift a finger, but you can avoid detours.

Teacher Liu Xiping also said that in the new working environment, we must know who is really influential.

Many times, we can't get along with the boss, because when we are close to him, we have many purposes, so it's unnatural to get along with him, but it's much easier to get along with people around him, such as the secretary of the leader, the boss's driver and the star agent.

These people may not have a direct influence on the boss, but they may show you the way and tell you how to deal with the boss, or at least they will not hinder your communication with the boss.

② party

Don't always look for people like yourself in your life outside of work. Although it is easier to communicate in this way, if you want to make friends, you must go out of your comfort zone and meet people who are different from you, so that you can go further.

A party means more than just a meal. It can be a class, a gym, a group trip, etc. People are divided into groups, and parties can be said to be a more targeted and accurate means of making friends.

Mengniu was in a dilemma at that time, and Niu Gensheng wrote a long article entitled "A Letter from Niu Gensheng to Director china entrepreneur club and Dean cheung kong graduate school of business". As soon as this article was published, his friends from all walks of life in cheung kong graduate school of business, such as Liu Chuanzhi and Fu Chengyu, etc. He was generous in solving problems, which amazed us ordinary people and made fun of "China's good classmates".

Tell me some examples around me. Some students are salespeople in a famous cake shop and love fitness. Every time they have a rest, they play with fitness equipment. In the gym, he knows people from all walks of life, including many senior leaders. Students don't want to jump ship, but on this special day, such as August 15th, the first day of the first lunar month, ask those leaders how many cakes and food they want to order for the company. Pay attention here, not "do you want it", but "how much"! Because of the same hobby, close to the leaders of various companies, this classmate's performance has always been shining.

Teacher Liu Xiping said, in fact, how can there be friends in the world that you can't make? Either you are not competent enough or you are not brave enough.

We may not be able to go to cheung kong graduate school of business or reach Niu Gensheng, Yu and Liu Chuanzhi, but we can still be brave and active in ordinary reading clubs, sports fields and tour groups!

Again, take the initiative, and maybe we will have a story.

③ Network

Speaking of online dating, here is a theory-six dimensions.

Six-degree separation was originally a conjecture in the field of mathematics, and later developed into the field of sociology. Theory says that there will be no more than six people between you and any stranger. In other words, you can meet any stranger through up to six middlemen.

Think about it. Isn't it exciting?

What's more exciting is that online dating doesn't need a middleman, and you can meet your dream Daniel, star and idol face to face.

Few people can predict that the network is so developed now. Maybe you slept tonight, and tomorrow will be very different. The live broadcast rooms, classrooms and various platforms derived from the Internet not only bring you into contact with important people, but also bring together a group of like-minded comrades. It really feels like "a thousand miles x side". As long as you have the heart, it is really a great weapon to make friends.

"How to protect friends with care?"

"This is very particular."

Blood relationship is a kind of blood relationship, and we don't have much choice. More like destiny takes a hand's chance encounter and intersection, it is the product of natural selection.

However, friendship comes from the choice of social mechanism. People with overlapping or complementary personalities or backgrounds will come together slowly, which is the result of their own choice and should be cherished.

Friendship needs no effort, and the result is definitely different.

worship

China people are really conservative. Unlike foreigners, no matter whether they are familiar or not, they are all "good" and "cute". Let alone strangers, sometimes even familiar people are reluctant to praise others easily.

When you associate with people, you have to care about your heart. Who doesn't like to hear good things? Who doesn't want to be affirmed? Sincere praise is the most direct, simple and best way to close your relationship with others.

Teacher Liu Xiping even said that if you want to find fault, who doesn't? Everyone is imperfect and has endless faults, but why make others unhappy and unhappy?

It is better to praise, narrow the shortcomings and enlarge the advantages. Each of us has advantages. The more you praise each other, the better they will do and even cover up their original shortcomings.

2 meet.

It's convenient to chat by phone on WeChat, but it's better to meet each other if conditions permit.

You can make an appointment for a leisurely weekend and talk for an afternoon. You can also take time out for lunch at noon on weekdays. Even the Shaxian snack at the door, you sit down and touch each other not only with your voice, but also with your facial expression. All kinds of organs are fully mobilized. This kind of interaction is more positive and the experience is more profound.

In the book, Mr. Liu also revealed a skill:

"I like making new friends and spending time with old friends. If I want to have dinner or get together with friends today, I will invite some old friends and some new friends, or if I know who some friends might like, I will take them to let everyone know. I not only invite friends according to my personal preferences, but also prefer to be a' lubricant' and vote for my friends' interests.

I have always been used to making many new friends and introducing people I have never met. After these good friends start to associate, some will become bosom friends. Because you keep sharing and expanding your circle of friends, you will gradually become influential. With these contacts, others will begin to respect you. "

③ Mutual assistance

We can all turn some of our relationships into help for others, and correspondingly, others will help you in the same way.

Many things are mutual, not all things need to be solved with money. Sometimes the other person may be higher in status and richer than you, but when things happen, it is not as convenient as ours.

Don't say you can't help, but you haven't dug yet. Think about it, homeless people can be Charlotte's eyes.

There is another situation: a friend asks for help, but he can't do it now. In this case, you must give a reason or give some compensation, such as recommending someone who can help him.

If you can't return a friend's phone call, what's the difference between you and a stranger?

Remember, when you refuse others, you should tell them why, not just refuse others stiffly. Don't think it has something to do with iron. If you don't polish it well, even rust will break. If you just refuse others abruptly, after being rejected once or twice, they won't like looking for you, and they will get bored.

④ Honesty and trust

For friends, whether honest or trusting others, from a practical level, the cost is the lowest.

When you tell a lie, you must make up for it with more lies. Usually, you may not remember what lies you told, because you just said it casually, but the listener has a heart, so it's hard for you not to show off.

If a third party happens to say it, and you especially don't want your friends to know it, but whatever the other party says is true, then what are you angry about? Don't be angry, you can't stop the communicator, learn to accept the reality.

You are responsible for everything you do. You can make any decision, but you must be responsible for the result.

When you do it, you should think about what to do once your friends know what to do, instead of becoming angry from embarrassment or accusing a third party of telling what you have done. This is not right.

On the other hand, if we are bystanders, not parties. Someone broke the news about a friend We have our own ideas about this matter. We can use our brains more often and keep our mouths shut.

Trust is a knife. If a friend gave it to you, you have two choices: stab him or support him.

Many times, what hurts others is often not the combination of fists and feet, but the flying spit and mean words.

Yi Zhongtian said a passage:

"When something happens, the first thing to learn is to recognize it, that is, to find out the facts. This is a' true and false judgment'.

Only in this way can we discuss whether it is right or wrong. This is a' right and wrong judgment'.

As for' value judgment' and' moral judgment', they can only be put at the end, and may even be unnecessary.

Unfortunately, people's thinking habits in China are often reversed. Before things were clear, moral criticism began. In this way, who dares to admit his mistake? "

⑤ Self-improvement

Positive love makes people progress, so does positive friendship.

We all hope to meet noble people and recognize our Bole, but are you a swift horse? Before you meet a noble person, you have to be a noble person yourself; Before you meet Bole, you should turn yourself into a swift horse. I can do this without any background, and you don't need to be a genius or a great talent.

I remember when I was analyzing the Chinese class, the author bought a book and met Lu Xun. The teacher asked us, what can we feel from the interaction between the author and Lu Xun?

One direction that students answered was "Lu Xun cares about youth".

The teacher added that it was "concerned about progressive youth".

The word "progress" hit the floor, even after fifteen years, still makes me remember that class vividly. In today's words, it can be "effort", "struggle", "awakening" and "action".

Mud can't help the wall. Who can help you if you don't show some possibilities yourself? Who wants to help you?

Many people are still confused, don't know what their position is, don't know what their interests and specialties are, and don't know what career suits them.

Teacher Liu Xiping often tells young people that you should cultivate your interests and expertise, and to what extent? You will be the first person to think of when others need you!

"I am most afraid of doing nothing in this life, but also comforting myself to be ordinary and valuable."

Some people have fallen into a step-by-step life for a long time. They don't like to touch new things or learn new things. The conversations are all video pushes or social media topics. This kind of life is terrible, because they can't build a more solid personal thinking and attitude. Life has just begun, as if it has entered the twilight years.

Without beautiful skin, why not forge an interesting soul quickly?

It is certainly good to be a high-energy person between friends; If not, it should be evenly matched; If you really can't, at least let others see your efforts and changes.

Never, you take friends as friends, and friends take you as an image.

There are no strangers in the world, which is a practical book. Reading time 12 days, the whole book is still very rewarding. Liu Xiping is the chairman of weber shandwick's China district.

Originally, I didn't know Mr. Liu Xiping either, but we can see from the book that he is a very attractive person, and there is no circle he doesn't know.

Teacher Liu has resources and is willing to share them. He supports the younger generation. After reading the whole book, the first half lists dry goods, and the second half is like a real teacher's advice: we all understand the truth, but after the teacher seriously emphasizes it, the impression is even deeper.

The following is an excerpt from the article to share with you?

* People who really work hard won't make you feel that they work hard. People who tell you that he is hard every day just want to tell you that he is hard.

* Some people will live in other people's gossip, and some people will live in your praise.

* You know the problem and solve it. This is the easiest way.

* What was great at that time was only temporary in the long river of life. What matters is what you have learned and whether you have learned a lesson.

* The so-called smooth sailing is only the result of accumulation.

Sometimes we think, with so many people, why should I pay special attention to it alone? In fact, you are not required to pay special attention, but you are responsible for yourself.

You think something good may happen by waiting, but it won't. Waiting for a miracle is like going to the hospital without registering. You're just stalling, stalling.

* I won't treat others like that even if they are not nice to me. Because the other person's intention or not has nothing to do with my proper performance, I want to keep my manners.

If you think something is important, you will find time to do it.

* Many things we do, such as reading, writing and fitness, can't be effective in a short time, but after a long time, whether it is accumulated or not, it is different.