Adult communication rules: For people you don’t like, stay away if you can, and keep a distance in your heart if you can’t stay away. —— Spoon Booth
Recently, a good colleague was resigning. I was a little sad when I found out. I chatted with my best friend at night to express my reluctance and unhappiness. After sending a text, she replied to me: "If you are still an intern, I can understand."
I immediately understood what she meant. She weighs more than 100 pounds, so she still can’t calmly look at the flow of people around her, let alone her colleagues.
……
Suddenly, I remembered the memory of my school days when I was young. I had a very good relationship with my classmates. After I transferred to another school, all the desk holes were emptied. I found out that I was very sad that my good friend left without saying goodbye. I felt aggrieved as to why they (yes, there were two of them) didn't tell me, and then I silently dealt with my life after they left.
Now that I am an adult, I cannot take it lightly every time I encounter a sudden or known farewell. It is understandable that children are reluctant to say goodbye after graduation, but as adults they still cannot learn to say goodbye in a free and easy way.
Not necessarily.
Although everyone in the workplace is here to make money, there are always some fates that break through the "social barriers." In a previous work experience, no one made me feel "reluctant" when I resigned, so I comforted myself, "The workplace is never a place to make friends," but I always had an idealistic fantasy: I wanted to Find a job where you "do what you like with the people you like." If you can't achieve the second half of the sentence, try to achieve the first half.
So, when I first met someone I liked and wanted to leave my 8×5-hour working day, my first reaction was definitely unhappiness, and then I was blessed as a friend.
Since I started working, actually starting from college, I have received more and more “interpersonal communication” and “personal relations” reminders from my parents and friends, from establishing good relationships with counselors, tutors, and classmates, to Maintain a "good but distant" relationship with colleagues and leaders.
Perhaps because of my own social habits, no matter how many strangers I meet through any channel, it takes me a month or a year to get along with me before I can relax myself. And once I get to know these people If you show relaxation in front of someone, you will almost no longer be on guard, which is a bit like "do not be suspicious of others when you use them". Therefore, these well-intentioned reminders have become "different for each person" in my case.
So, when faced with the news of the sudden departure of these people who I left behind through "unintentional choice", I naturally couldn't tell myself rationally that this was "human nature." To these people, I will probably never learn to say goodbye easily.
On the first day when I found out she was leaving, I spent the entire afternoon immersed in the anguish of her departure.
The day after I found out she was leaving, I tried to avoid being alone with her and avoid discussing this issue.
On the third day that she was leaving, the whole company knew, and I was able to joke around with her.
I have also met many people, who are the opposite to me. They can mingle easily with strangers they have just met, and they can easily say goodbye to people who were joking one second ago. .
Most of these people have not become my friends. It's not that they are indifferent, they are very enthusiastic in the beginning. It's just that they are the "fast-fast" type of dating personality, and I am the "slow-slow" type, and people of the same sex repel each other. Most of the friends around me are "fast-slow" type friends. I rely on their "easiness to get along" to gain a place, and then slowly release my "personal energy" to gain their presence.
When it comes to the word "farewell", adults actually don't have much say. The older you get, the more fixed the people around you are. These permanent groups are getting smaller and smaller, but they are becoming more and more stable and will not leave. Therefore, there are not many people who can really be called farewell, and most of them are just " daily flow”.
Children are different.
Now that I am in elementary school, I have to say goodbye to my friends who I share joy and scold with every day and talk to each other about everything. Sometimes it is true that I will never see you again.
When a guest comes to your home, and the guest’s child falls in love with your favorite toy, you must bear the pain and say goodbye to the “toy” that you have to talk to every time you feel wronged. You were more stubborn and "resisted desperately" to keep the toy and escaped, but you were called "ignorant" because of it.
Because of moving, you have to say goodbye to your friends who eat popsicles with you after school every day, your neighbors who wag their tails and smile at you when they see you, and you have to hide from you when you encounter a fierce-looking dog. The "Ahua" next door behind you says goodbye, and ah, it's very likely that you are saying goodbye to your childhood.
…
From this perspective, it seems that every farewell when we were young was more difficult to say goodbye to, but it was inevitable.
And more farewells in adulthood, although solemn, are understandable.
For example, leaving your job, returning to your hometown, or breaking up.
Therefore, if you say that you cannot take farewell lightly, it is a sign of immaturity.
I would rather say that this is the childlike innocence I retain in the adult world.
— End —
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Sui Xin’s encounter
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A soulless
Late-night carnival of a hairless girl born in the 90s