But I don't know what's wrong. This unknown problem is called "blind spot"

I found myself in a blind spot of "making friends should have a model". Most of us will consciously or unconsciously follow this similar pattern. I didn't realize it clearly before, but I had an epiphany under the guidance of my friend. "

This model is: 1, from the vast sea of people, you or the other party talk to you for the first time, that is, "meet";

2.* * * Talk about the topic together. Through various topics, your behavior, thinking mode and attitude towards life will be revealed, that is, "developing relationships";

3, intimate relationship, you can start talking about feelings at any time. When the two sides agree on many topics, they can also refer to "good friends" with similar interests or educational level.

These three steps, it is best to start from the first step, step by step, do not jump.

From my personal experience, my friend and I rank second, and we are not particularly familiar with each other. I just want to go directly to the third step, "Tell me how I feel, and expect others to listen and give me a warm response."

I often want to invite others to dinner and go out for a walk, but I don't know how to say it. The main reason should be that the second step has not yet developed to a certain stage, and it is necessary to "learn from each other" and "communicate with each other" in order to naturally invite people to eat, walk and travel. Perhaps in our cultural background, we seldom invite others to do things together.

My advice to myself is: 1. Observe, observe what other people talk about when they make friends at first. Interesting records in the diary.

2. Read the book on the methodology of Talking, Asking and Interpersonal Communication, and try to reduce the "communication blind area and communication minefield" of making friends.

3. Find the "communication minefield", record it on the website and think about how to improve it.

This is the most important point, the topic should be accumulated: "accumulate more on weekdays, and the topic should be broad but not deep."

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