So I will focus on how to teach children to learn to be human and what kind of person they become.
When it comes to being a man, many people will think of ideological and moral education and think that learning to be a man is to make children become noble people like Lei Feng. This understanding is too narrow. When we say to be human, we hope that they are normal natural persons first, and then we hope that they are qualified social persons. Let them have both healthy bodies and healthy personalities; Both good moral quality and good psychological quality. Specifically, it is very important to achieve the following four aspects.
First, let children become a healthy and happy person.
A healthy body is the premise of doing everything well and the source of happiness. So what should we do for our parents?
First, cultivate children's awareness of cherishing life.
Let children fully realize that human life is only once, so we should cherish it and never lose it inadvertently. Strengthen safety awareness and teach children the skills of self-care and self-help. (For example-fire prevention and electricity protection, calmly deal with accidental injuries) In addition, it is also wise to buy an insurance for children.
Second, pay attention to scientific diet and health care.
Read more books on diet and health care, so that children can eat healthily, not the fatter the better.
Third, strive to create a pleasant living space.
Arrange the time of study and activities scientifically and reasonably, give children the right and freedom to play, and don't put psychological pressure on them. (for example, exams must be taken first, abnormal education in single-parent families) so that they can grow up happily physically and mentally.
Second, let the child become an honest and kind person.
Honesty and kindness are the most basic requirements of being a man, the foundation of being a man, the way of making friends and the soul of business. This quality needs to be cultivated from an early age, so what parents should do is:
1, tell children the benefits of honesty and kindness and the harm of dishonesty.
In fact, many children don't mean to lie. Parents should pay attention to small things and guide them in time when they find problems. (For example, The Wolf is Coming) This story deserves our deep thought. Fortunately, although the shepherd lost a few sheep, he got rid of the problem of lying; Sadly, it was the wolf, not the man, who got rid of his problems. Those villagers have every opportunity to guide and educate him and minimize his losses. This is worth pondering.
2. Let children learn to care about others.
Give someone a rose hand, although it will still smell good for a long time. Without mutual care and help, people can't get along. Caring is the premise of love. If a child doesn't care about the people and things around him, he won't love anything, and he will be unconscious of the love of others. Such children will be lonely and miserable in the future, unable to feel the true feelings of the world, and have no color in life. Caring for others is also a quality and habit, which needs to be cultivated from an early age. Parents should always tell their children the benefits of caring for others, and more importantly, let them know how to care for others.
(1) Caring for others begins with honoring parents. As the saying goes, "filial piety is the first virtue". Quite simply, if a person doesn't even care about his parents, it's hard to imagine that he will care about others. Caring for parents is also the easiest thing for children. For example, say hello to parents in the morning and evening; Ask parents to move chopsticks first when eating; Go out to say hello to your parents and ask for advice; Pass a glass of water or a pair of slippers; Happy birthday to parents, etc. Don't underestimate these trivial things. This is education.
(2) Cultivate children's sense of responsibility from an early age. First of all, let children learn some housework; As a member of the family, children have the responsibility to take part in housework. Secondly, let children learn to share their worries for the family; It is necessary to tell children that it is not easy for parents to support a family, and they have the responsibility to contribute to the family. They should have a sense of sharing their worries with the family and not let their parents worry. Third, let children learn to care about the collective. Actively participate in various collective activities organized by the school. Such as various competitions, tours and so on. Cultivate their sense of honor and disgrace and cooperation through collective activities. In a word, only when a person knows how to care about others and the collective can he further develop into caring about the rise and fall of the country, social progress and national prosperity, and finally realize a perfect personality.
It is also important to cultivate children into honest and kind people, that is, parents set an example. Parents' words and deeds have a great influence on their children, and no matter how touching they preach, they can't compare with the power of example. (Example-Parents' Positive and Negative Behavior)
Third, let children become an optimistic and confident person.
Optimism and self-confidence are the foundation of success. Everyone is born with an invisible magic: it can make you refreshed and depressed; It can make you calm and rational, and it can also make you irritable; It can make you study calmly, and also make you worry all the time; It can make your life sweet and happy, and it can also make your life depressed and dull; It can strengthen your strength or weaken your strength. These forces that make people feel magical changes are what people usually call mentality. Psychologists find that success lies not in talent, but in mentality. Success begins with awakening, and mentality determines fate. According to a researcher of Peking University Institute of Mental Health, there are about 340 million minors under the age of 0/7 per kloc in China. It is conservatively estimated that there are 30 million people with various learning emotional and behavioral obstacles, among which primary and secondary school students account for 2 1.6%-32%. Outstanding performance is interpersonal relationship, emotional stability and learning adaptation. All of the above are caused by mentality. Mentality can be divided into positive and negative. For example, children with different mentality will have different emotions if they are placed in front of a child with half a glass of milk. Some children will be unhappy because of too little milk, while others are glad that half a cup is better than nothing. The latter's mentality is positive.
A positive attitude is the right attitude. Usually optimistic and confident, generous and open-minded, honest and loyal, reasonable, pioneering and innovative. The positive attitude of primary school students is cultivated under the careful care of parents. As parents, we should always give our children positive psychological hints to build their self-confidence. This example shows that children's grades are always closely related to their self-confidence.
There is a famous educational saying: "Let children walk with their heads up". "Raise your head" means having confidence in yourself, in the future and in what you want to do. So, what should parents do to make their children confident?
1, respect the child's personality
Respect for personality is not limited by time or place, and no matter how many advantages or disadvantages a child has, you must never say anything that is degrading or hurts self-esteem. Such as: "You are hopeless, pig brain", "You won't live for eight generations", "If I had known you were like this, I would have crushed you to death when I gave birth to you" and so on. These words are enough to destroy a child and make him feel incompetent and unable to do anything well. How can such a child become useful? On the contrary, although some children behave very generally, parents can seize the only bright spot of their children and hint at them with encouraging words and eyes: you can do it. You did the right thing. Keep working hard and you will succeed! Then, the child will be full of confidence and hope for himself and always tell himself: I can do it! I won't be afraid to do things. In addition, respect for children is also manifested in the fact that when parents do something wrong, they can frankly admit their mistakes to their children, instead of arguing irrationally, so that children feel that they occupy an important position in their parents' hearts.
2. Appreciate your children from the heart.
A child's instinct is to do things well. Parents' reproach will make them lose confidence, while parents' appreciation and encouragement will make them work harder. So it is very important to encourage often. Even a small success can enhance people's self-confidence. Children who write a good hand, do a cross-question, get a small red flower and do housework all hope to be recognized. Parents should help them get a successful experience, not be indifferent.
What you often say to children should be: you are great! You did a good job. You can do it! You are no more stupid than others! Never mind, I believe I can do well in the exam next time! You did a great job! My children are absolutely the best! The most taboo thing to say to children is: you are so stupid! Even the gods can't teach you! It's right to be the first in the exam! You can't do it well! There is no need to wait. Maybe your child has many shortcomings, but I was born to be useful! There must be something special about him Parents should be good at observation and discovery. There is an EDA education in the United States, which often says to children: You are great! This educational philosophy holds that telling children that "you are great" gives them a sense of self-confidence, which is more important than your children being really great. I hope everyone can remember this sentence.
Fourth, let the child become a brave and determined person.
Courage and perseverance are the guarantee of success. If parents who leave their children alone waste precious time, those parents who care too much about their children have laid a sweet trap for their children's life. If parents do everything for their children from an early age, then children will not be able to adapt to this complex society when they grow up and will eventually be eliminated by society. For example, if you study well, you won't go to college. ) So, what should parents do?
1, let children learn to get along with others.
Being able to get along with others happily is a child's ability to adapt to society. Some parents think that children's task is to study and should not be distracted until graduation. This is obviously wrong. What is the purpose of reading? The purpose is to make children have a stronger ability to adapt to society-viability, which is cultivated from an early age. If you only pursue scores unilaterally, the children you cultivate will be useless, which is by no means alarmist (you can't find a partner at the age of 30, and you have high scores and low energy). From a macro perspective, countries coexist. If your child has excellent grades and can go to a key university, then he may have to shoulder the historical mission and ability. From a microscopic point of view, no matter who lives in the world, they have to deal with people. People who can get along well with others, careers and families are easy to succeed. Therefore, learning to get along with others from an early age can not only develop psychology and improve personality, but also accumulate experience from it, laying a good foundation for adapting to society in the future. Specific measures: (1) Give children opportunities to get along with others (have fun, arrange to go out at the right time and stay in the collective life). (2) Teach children the principles of getting along with others (mutual respect, charity, broad-mindedness and sincere help).
2. Tell children that they can say "no"
Modesty is a virtue, but it is not the same as cowardice. Children have the right to express their views and safeguard their self-esteem. As the saying goes, "the imperial edict is difficult to violate, and the father's life is difficult to violate." The hardest thing to learn in life practice is to say "no". A simple sentence is of great benefit to maintaining a person's personality, dignity and judgment. As parents, we should: (1) encourage children to express their opinions. Bravely say "no" to misconduct and temptation. It is an important quality of people to dare to express their views. On the one hand, they can better communicate with others, gain knowledge and avoid doing things against their will (including breaking the law); On the other hand, it is aboveboard to avoid misunderstanding. Many people can't bear to refuse other people's demands, no matter whether they are reasonable or not, and whether they can do it or not. The result is often thankless and painful. Besides others, you should also say "no" to your misconduct (for example, the TV program is good, but it's late, and there is a computer at home that can't help but want to play games). It is also brave to dare to say "no" to the bad behavior of yourself and others. (2) Teach children to master the discretion of saying "no" and talking back. Many parents know that Nuo Nuo's only child can't be a big deal in the future, but they hate their children's talk back and willfulness. How to distinguish them? The key is to see whether what he said is reasonable from the child's point of view, and rationality is the former. Parents should treat unreasonable talk back or willfulness coldly, such as: reason first and then let him think behind closed doors; Don't argue with him yet, give him a step and let him go away; Change the subject or take a step back. Remember, the family should have a democratic atmosphere, even if the child is incorrect, let the child distinguish, and the suspect can defend himself. Are children inferior to them? But we must not indulge, and we must effectively control the needs of children. You can't satisfy your children endlessly, which will also make them lose their way. Therefore, parents should master the discretion of discipline.
3. Guide children to regard suffering as education and setbacks as growth.
Man's ability is tempered by hard struggle. The sons of most rich families can't resist the temptation of wealth, so they fall into a life of disdain. These people are no match for poor children. It is often those children who struggle to get rid of poverty that become creative talents. Many parents always sigh: when I was a child, no one was in charge and I was very sensible. Nowadays, children talk and watch every day, which is also worrying. The simple truth is that when we were young, there were many children at home, and our parents couldn't control them, which virtually gave our children room to display their talents, and we had to do many things ourselves. Life was not rich at that time, and some children didn't feel bitter when they got used to it. There are also some children who strive to achieve life because they yearn for a rich life. A man who struggled out of poverty abroad said, "Although I can't be the descendant of the rich, I will try my best to be the ancestor of the rich."
One's life can't be smooth sailing. Therefore, we should prepare our children to endure hardships and overcome setbacks from an early age. (1) Children should do what they can. (including studying and doing things) We are not only concerned with the results, but more importantly, how to overcome difficulties, hone our will and learn to deal with problems in the process of doing it. (2) Control children's pocket money and educate children not to compare. (3) Don't sympathize with children in some things. Don't take all the blame and responsibility on yourself. Avoid children from developing a bad style of shirking responsibility. (Example-China students' birthday outing, rainy; Japanese primary school students move tables) (4) For those few children with physical defects, we should patiently guide them to overcome difficulties and self with a positive attitude. Instead of complaining and giving up on yourself. We should face the reality and learn to persist. We may not be better than normal people, but we can choose a better lifestyle than ourselves. (Guanyin Bodhisattva Zhang Haidi)
These are my views on guiding children to be human beings in family education. Rome was not built in a day, and children's education is a long and repeated process. As parents, we must persevere and accumulate experience and lessons. I sincerely wish our children an ideal life!