Being gregarious is not necessarily a good thing, so some people say, "You think you are gregarious, but you are wasting your youth." Those who are afraid of loneliness and seem to be gregarious at dinner tables, restaurants and karaoke bars all day may be drowned in the crowd. If you socialize too much, your study, training, professional study and business plan will be squeezed, and your disposable time, money and life will be wasted, especially your innovative ideas will be assimilated and submerged. The direct consequence of excessive socialization is to "degenerate" into an ordinary person.

Schopenhauer said, "Either mediocre or lonely." Many times, it is ineffective social interaction that restricts your development; "Dormitory is a hotbed of depravity; Gregarious is the beginning of elimination. " Not because of loneliness, narcissism and arrogance, but because the noise has passed and loneliness is inevitable.

If you think you're right, why are you gregarious? It is your loneliness that makes you stand out, not gregarious. Writer Liu Yu said: "I don't have a circle because I'm too lazy to manage relationships." Liu Yu said that in such a life lacking communication, communication, stimulation, debate, jokes, small talk, gossip, rumors, rumors, MSN, etc. For many years, she only talked to herself, persisted in thinking, kept expressing her desires, wrote novels, political opinions and blogs, but achieved herself. The same unsociable makes Han Han himself. I imagine Gu Zhun in the Cultural Revolution, Yang Xiaokai in prison and Wang Xiaobo writing outside the literary world are all such people.

Luo Yonghao said: "A thoughtful person must be unsociable." It is loneliness that makes you stand out, not gregarious. In the long river of history, people like Rousseau, a daydream of a lonely rambler; Another example is Kant who "hides" in Tonnisburg; Gu Hongming's "The Spirit of China People" is called a strange old man, but it has an incredible abacus to reject Western values; Zhu Xueqin hiding in the study, just got a book "revolution in the study"; Chen Danqing gave up his professor in Tsinghua University and dared to be a freelance painter and writer. It is their detachment that has made their thoughts, careers and lives.

"Heroes are always lonely." Only when wannabe gets together, only those who are not strong at heart are more gregarious. Excellent people don't need to fit in. Have you ever seen a big coffee like Xianglinsao vomit "Why do they isolate me?"

Excellent people don't need to spend energy to cater to others and manage interpersonal relationships. Any kind of relationship will tie you down. Loneliness is precious. In this undisturbed time and space, it is a great "freedom" to arrange how to spend this time completely according to your own wishes. I am determined to be myself, think in a unique way, and enjoy the diversity of life clearly and quietly after being divorced from the public.

Zhou once said, "Everyone is a universe". They all know that when they choose a road that few people take, they are doomed to be unsociable, but it doesn't matter, they dare to be different from others. There is something strange about the most capable person that distinguishes him from ordinary people. Those who dare to make a distinctive voice in the crowd and offend the crowd must have great skills. When a large group of people opposed him, he remained an able person who did not change his original intention. Stubborn people are better than obedient people most of the time, and arrogant people are better than others most of the time.

Loneliness is also a way for each of us to learn to get along with ourselves. The sooner you understand the truth of "loneliness" and learn to be alone, the more important it is. The most unsociable person will be the brightest star in the night sky, which is also an effective way to seek inner happiness and peace.

I remember reading a book saying that "the dormitory is a hotbed of depravity". Because four people, three people play games and the fourth one doesn't, they joined the fighting team in order to get along.

Today, I chatted with friends and talked about that many companies still look at academic qualifications first, then at gender, age, marital status, and then at work experience. As for why we value gender and whether we are married or not, from the perspective of human resources, women are indeed treated unfairly in job hunting. For so many years, recruitment has been obsessed with academic qualifications, because key universities are a better circle, and I believe that students coming out of this circle will not be too bad.

As I said before, college is a new beginning, and there are also many inspirational articles about how students from second-rate universities counterattack success. In fact, the word "counterattack" has undoubtedly proved that students in non-key universities are in a lower circle, and it is very rare to stand out. It's called a counterattack. In fact, some of their achievements have become commonplace among students in key universities.

Some time ago, a marketing campaign swept the circle of friends. Did you escape from Beishangguang? Various resource advantages have formed a better circle. Whether you admit it or not, the resources in big cities are better and more concentrated. I can mention a number here. Twenty years ago, 70% of the freshmen of Tsinghua Peking University were rural college students, but in the past three years, the number of rural college students has been less than 25%. In the unequal competition between the two sides, one side has more and more resources and more opportunities.

In fact, many people have a lot of their own ideas, but in the end they are inevitably integrated into the surrounding circles, and such gregarious is the beginning of being eliminated. After being lazy day by day, you will finally understand that you just look hard in your group. And your self-righteous achievement is actually just that your circle is too weak.

In fact, we all want to be recognized and accepted by the group. There is nothing wrong with this. It just depends on whether the circle you are in now is suitable for you. When you haven't found a suitable circle, don't blend in with other groups at will, because in my opinion, vulgar socialization is far less than high-quality solitude. You should try your best to improve and develop yourself when you are alone. Because everyone is a unique individual, loneliness is actually a normal state.

But loneliness is not loneliness, not dealing with people, not dismissing anything, but finding your own way. Only you know what you want most, then do it according to your own ideas, find a circle that suits you, and don't care too much about other people's opinions on the way to find it. What we need is a group of like-minded people, not a group of superficial people.

There is a line in The Big Bang Theory, "Maybe you are out of place at school, maybe you are the shortest, fattest or weirdest at school, maybe you don't have any friends, but it doesn't matter at all. My focus is on your time alone, such as assembling a computer or practicing the cello. What you are really doing is to make yourself interesting. When one day others finally notice you, they will find a cooler person than they thought. "

A good circle, suitable for your own circle, will help you get closer and closer to your dreams, while some circles will sink you. Don't force yourself to fit in, stick to what you think is right. Being alone is the best time to grow and enrich yourself, and you will eventually meet more like-minded partners and find your own circle.

There was once a dormitory with eight people in it. When all eight people in the dormitory get together, the head of the dormitory always organizes a game, that is, eight people are divided into two groups with three people in each group, and everyone is organized to play cards. The remaining two will turn on the computer to play dota, or take out their mobile phones and keep brushing the web, or lie in bed with psp waiting for their turn.

Then, the night passed like this.

Then, a year passed like this.

Then, four years passed like this.

Of the eight people, there must be one or two who get along well, but there must be some who don't. It's okay to get along. Four years in college, what a hypocritical life: because he organized others to fall, he moved forward firmly, what a hypocritical and miserable life. If you don't mix well, you never know what the problem is. He doesn't know. He just followed the trend, but he didn't know what went wrong.

In recent classes, I have always emphasized to my students that you can't choose your roommate during college, but you can choose your friends.

Because, recently I began to find that the dormitory is the beginning of depravity; Gregarious is the starting point of elimination. In many people's dictionaries:

Four people, three people have been carrying Aoi sora's back, and the fourth person doesn't look at it, which shows that he doesn't fit in.

Four people, three people play games, and the fourth person doesn't play, which means he doesn't fit in.

Four people, three people engage in gay, and the fourth person does not engage in gay, which means that he is not gregarious.

People are afraid of loneliness, so most people choose to fit in:

But ... you think you are gregarious and you are wasting your youth; You think you made friends. When you graduate with nothing, who will treat you as a friend? Four years in college, you think you are not lonely. Without a job after graduation, it will be more lonely without a wife.

Some people say that loneliness is painful, but who says that achieving a goal will not be painful?

In my short college life, I have witnessed too many tragedies to integrate with others. I remember when I was a freshman, I was always asked to play games, but I was left with the same emptiness as them.

I remember when I was a sophomore, they kept downloading new games with their mobile phones. I was holding words in the corner and memorizing them.

I remember when I was a junior, seven people in the dormitory collectively attacked me and said that I didn't fit in. Some people even call me arrogant and speak ill of me everywhere, but I understand that it is not my fault to be different. Finally, I have to apply for a change of dormitory. But now I understand that several years later, when some people were exposed to the hot sun, I was writing articles in the air-conditioned room.

Most importantly, I have forgotten the names of those who say I am unsociable. I know some of them may still miss me and want me to die soon, but I just want to say that they miss me and want to explain.

They can't live without me; I forgot their names, which means I can live without them.

Until today, I have met many people, some are famous directors, some are famous actors, some are entrepreneurs in Niu Bao, some are tycoons in banks and politics, some are beautiful women who didn't even look at me at first, and most importantly, I have made a group of good friends. At this moment, I will be grateful. I don't fit in. Now, I am in my own group, doing what I should do.

If I had been gregarious, who would I be with now and what would it be like?

I have always believed that heroes are always lonely, and only wannabe can get together. The "28 Law" always applies to every corner of the earth: 20% of people, accounting for 80% of assets; Eighty percent of people take twenty percent.

Boys, in particular, have been gregarious for four years in college. In the dormitory, they have never opened their eyes and stuck on their laurels. They are frogs in the well. All these will always be returned to themselves at one time when they enter the society in the future.

Girls, on the other hand, need to cultivate independent personalities in universities. Relying on a man is never as good as relying on a future reality created by yourself.

However, I want to say that what I am talking about here is not gregarious, not hating the rich, not unruly. Here, I haven't done enough in college. I review. At least, don't offend people, because Tao is different and you don't work for Tao. But that doesn't mean you don't even talk, or you just swear. You support his lifestyle, but you need to have your own ideas.

The world is amazing. You will never believe that the most jerk in those days will be the most potential person in politics ten years later. You won't believe that the most unsociable person in those days became a millionaire.

In any case, people who have achieved something are unsociable; Even if you are gregarious on the surface, you always have your own world inside. They like to think quietly and keep moving forward.