[Name] Mark Twain (American humorist, novelist, writer and speaker)
I remember once, I had no money, but I needed three yuan badly before dark. I'm at a loss. Where can I get money?
I wandered about the street for a whole hour, but I couldn't think of anything. Later, I walked into the Albert Hotel and found a place to sit down. At this moment, a dog came up to me, stopped me and looked at me as if to say, "Do you want to make friends?" I looked at this lovely animal curiously. It wagged its tail happily, circled around me, rubbed its head against me, raised its head again and again and looked at me with brown eyes. This is really a cute little thing. I stroked its smooth satin head, like an old friend reunited after a long separation.
After a while, General Mill, a national hero, came over in a blue and gold uniform, and people looked at his conspicuous uniform with envy. Then he suddenly saw the dog, stopped, and his eyes showed love, which showed that he was also fascinated by this beautiful beast. The general couldn't help but go forward, gently touched the dog and said, "This is a very good dog, how cute!" " Are you willing to sell it? "
I said cheerfully, "Yes."
"How much is it?"
"Three dollars." I answered.
The general was surprised and said, "Three dollars? Only three dollars? This is not an ordinary dog, it is worth at least 50 dollars. You probably don't understand the market, I don't want to take advantage of you. "
I still replied: "Yes, three dollars, as long as three dollars."
"Well, since you insist on this price." The general said, happily handed me three dollars, and then took the dog upstairs.
About 10 minutes later, a middle-aged gentleman who looked very gentle came over and looked around. I said to him, "Are you looking for a dog?"
There was a glimmer of hope on his anxious face, and he suddenly breathed a sigh of relief and quickly replied: "Yes, yes! Did you see it? "
"Yes, it was here a minute ago." I said, "I saw it go with a general. If you need me to try it, I'll get it back for you. "
Seldom have I seen a person thank me so much, and he has repeatedly expressed his willingness to let me try. There is no doubt that I can get it back as easy as blowing off dust. I hinted that he should not give up any money as a reward. He understood what I meant and laughed and said, "No problem, no problem." Ask me how much it costs.
I said, "Three dollars."
He looked at me in surprise and said, "Ah! This is nothing, even if I give you ten dollars, I am willing. "
But I said, "No, that's all I need." I went upstairs without saying anything. People will call me stupid. I don't want any more money.
I got the general's room number from the hotel information desk. When I entered the room, the general was happy to comb the dog's hair. I said, "General, I'm really sorry. I want to take this dog back. "
He was taken aback and said, "What? Take it back! This is my dog, you have sold it to me, and the price is yours. "
"Yes," I said, "exactly, but I have to take it back because someone is looking for it."
"What person?"
"The owner of this dog, this is not my dog."
The general was even more surprised. He doesn't know what to say. It took him a long time to say, "You mean you sold someone else's dog?"
"Yes, I know it's not my dog."
"So, why sell it?"
I said, "Oh, dear! It's strange that you ask. I sold it to you because you wanted to buy it. You offered to buy your own dog, which you can't deny. I didn't sell it on purpose, and I didn't say I was going to sell it. I didn't want to sell it at all ... "
The general interrupted me and said, "This is really the rarest thing that has ever happened to me in my life. You mean the dog you sell doesn't belong to you ... "
Without waiting for him to continue, I said, "You said the dog could be worth one hundred dollars, and I only want three dollars. Is there anything unfair? " You offered to pay more, but in fact I only asked for three yuan, so you can't deny it. "
"Oh, I don't need to keep this dog. Actually, you don't have a dog. Do you understand what I mean? "
I said, "Please don't waste your breath. You can't avoid the fact that doing business is very fair and reasonable. But because this is not my own dog, it's no use arguing. I have to take it away because someone wants it. I have no choice on this issue, do you understand? If you were in my position, if you sold a dog that didn't belong to you, if ... "
The general waved his hand again and again: "Okay, okay, don't say so many confusing things. Take it away and let me have a rest! " "
I also gave him three dollars, took the dog downstairs and gave it to the owner, and got three dollars as a reward.
I went out contentedly because I did something aboveboard. I will never use these three dollars to sell a dog, because the dog is not mine. But the three dollars I got from the dog owner are really mine, because I earned them. Dog owners can't find dogs without me. This understanding of mine remains unchanged to this day, and I will always be glorious. You know, in that case, I have to do that. Because of this, I can always say, "I will never use that kind of money from unknown sources." (translated)
Selected from the miniature novel exhibition of famous Chinese and foreign writers.
Shanghai Literature and Art Publishing House 1989 February Edition
In addition to the witty humor of the characters' language, the humor of this novel mainly comes from the following two points. First, the hero's brilliant "theory" is difficult to establish and his firm belief in this theory. The hero thinks it is disgraceful to use the money to sell dogs, but the money earned by finding dogs for dog owners is aboveboard and beyond reproach. He completely covered up the premise that he could make money by finding dogs for others-selling his dog in disgrace. Readers can see at a glance the absurdity of this "theory" and the disgrace under the cover of "glory". And the hero's "this understanding" and "unchanged so far" are even more funny. Secondly, what did he do when he practiced his theory. For three dollars, he sold someone else's dog and went to get it back. He walked such a big circle with all his heart. The reason why he took pains to lobby upstairs and downstairs is to ensure that the money he got is not "unknown" and that he is "always glorious". He only wants three dollars and never asks for a penny more, which fully proves his sincerity. He really carried out his "honor theory" sincerely, and he really defended his honor unswervingly. However, when the reader sees that the motivation of his various efforts is inconsistent with the results, and that this does not bring him a little glory, all his actions suddenly become ridiculous. The bigger the bend, the more energy it takes, the more unshakable it is under the temptation of money, and the more ridiculous it is.
Mark Twain's novel is not only a light and humorous sketch, but also the absurd theory and funny behavior of the protagonist "I" are not just jokes for entertainment. If we think about it in connection with some human behaviors and some social phenomena, we may realize the profound philosophical significance contained in it. Mankind will always advance in pursuit. However, when future generations look back on history and reflect on the past, can they also see that their predecessors have gone through twists and turns and suffered a lot, but they have got different or even completely opposite results? Do they also find it ridiculous that our predecessors fought for a ridiculous belief? (Wang Nuo)
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