Hello, subject, as a woman who is in love, married, or even has children (unclear) with a gay man, you first need to understand the following scientific knowledge:

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1. Homosexuality is not a “disease” or “abnormality”.

2. Any sexual orientation (including heterosexuality and homosexuality) cannot be changed due to external influence. There is only a difference in individual self-awareness sooner or later

3. Homosexuality has existed at all times and in all countries, accounting for only about 5% of the population. Its population ratio is constant and does not change due to external factors such as culture and region.

The more society respects and understands it, the higher its visibility will be, and vice versa.

4. Developed countries have expressly stipulated that students are not allowed to undergo so-called "treatment" to reverse the sexual orientation of homosexuals. They can only treat the negative emotions caused by the inability of homosexuals

to accept themselves. Work. But unfortunately, the understanding and standards of this in the Chinese psychological counseling and medical circles are still mixed.

I am also a gay, but I am determined not to marry a woman. I have talked about the issue of gay wives with gay friends on closet dating. This is also a common topic. We all think that gay wives have the same characteristics. When we accidentally discover, or" After being discovered "(husbands voluntarily informed) that they were gay, they were extremely unwilling to accept it. They still imagined that their husbands would one day become heterosexual and fall in love with them, but they wasted

N years. Even if you can't succeed in your lifetime.

I completely understand how helpless, painful, fearful and desperate my wife feels when she accidentally falls into this failed marriage... I want to desperately hold on to the root to save my life

Straw, turn your husband into someone who loves you to resist the devouring pain of "not being loved". But once you learn scientific knowledge, you will understand.

This is an impossible task - because sexual orientation cannot be changed due to external influences!

A friend said: Marriage fraud It's a violation. Today's over-protection of "vulnerable groups" is actually a form of moral kidnapping for most people. Some gays on Weibo brazenly said, "Because we are a vulnerable group, gay wives deserve to be deceived by us, otherwise

it would be discrimination against us"!

Of course I don't agree. This point of view! I feel heartbroken for my gay friends who have entered heterosexual relationships9 and hurt themselves and others, and I feel sorry for them for not taking responsibility for themselves

. Because parents are also not accepting, the only way out is to enter heterosexual marriage and find a heterosexual as a stepping stone. We have another choice. When faced with parents forcing marriage, we choose to accept the truth, accept that our parents are not perfect and have their own limitations. If we admit that this cannot be changed and live our own lives, we can get out of the entanglement of parents' disapproval. .

But I never think that homosexuals are a "vulnerable group". Homosexuals are just a minority group, a vulnerable minority. Only people with a "victim" complex will regard themselves as a "vulnerable group" - because in this way, they can be regarded as a "vulnerable group". The responsibility for the misfortunes in life is passed on to others.

For gay friends who think this way, I have no right to judge how others should choose their own lives. I just want to share with them the mistakes I have made

I once put myself I blame my pain on my parents for not accepting me from beginning to end. This is an excuse to avoid self-growth. This is the truth, and whether these friends are willing to face it is their own business.

Similarly, I will treat my heterosexual friends who were deceived into marriage in the same way. I truly understand that you feel life is unfair, and I can also feel your bottomless anger and despair. But it is your problematic subconscious mind that is the source of your pain. Please see it, change begins with seeing it, please don't give yourself and others the chance to hurt yourself again. Likewise, whether you are willing to plant it and grow like a phoenix from nirvana is your own business.

Finally, fellow wives need to clarify the following two things and make their own choices:

1. Divorce or not divorce is a choice. If you choose to continue to stay in In a loveless marriage, you are the one who is responsible, not anyone else.

2. If you already have children, in terms of the relationship between marriage and the child's personality health, the best gift you can give your child is a "good marriage"

(Parents love each other) ), followed by a "good divorce" (although they are not husband and wife, they can still give love to their children as father), the third is a "bad marriage" (without divorce, there is no love and intimacy between the wives), and the worst The good ones are "bad divorces" (where the spouses attack each other personally and pull the children's moral sides).