How should we assess the situation and look at a person objectively? By academic qualifications? Depends on ambition? Looking at the direction of development? In fact, it shouldn’t be that complicated, it’s just that we have complicated the relationships between people. The intrigues and intrigues in society should not be an obstacle to making friends. Move everyone with your heart and sincerity, even our enemies. Tolerance and tolerance should be a weapon for us to make friends, and use it to harmonize the relationship between people. Educational qualifications only represent learning experience. Ambition is always tied to current circumstances. The direction of development is nothing more than the opportunities given to us by God.
Kindness, benevolence, and hard work are the standards for making friends. On the contrary, for those who do not meet these conditions, even if they have high education, great ambitions, and superior development space, we should not tolerate them because these people are not worthy of the title of "friends."
Every person has the same friendship in the world:
If you make friends with benefits, the benefits will fade away;
If you make friends with colors, the colors will fade away. ;
If you make friends with wine, you will be embarrassed if you are drunk;
Only those who make friends with your heart will last forever!
Experiences of making friends in college from "New Life Guide"< /p>
In college, friends are a very important word. During these four years, you may meet friends who pretend to be friends, friends who deceive you, or true confidants or even partners. For the first time, I left the environment where I grew up and entered the campus to start collective life. How to live harmoniously with classmates, friends and colleagues in the community has become part of the learning content for college students. In fact, college is the last opportunity for everyone to learn, cultivate, and train how to get along with others in a relatively relaxed environment. In the future, people's ability to get along with others in society and at work will become more and more important, even more than the work itself. So, interpersonal communication is a very important part.
“I don’t have strong interpersonal skills, my social circle is not wide enough, but I don’t have any special skills that can attract everyone’s attention, and I don’t know how to effectively establish connections with other people in the club.” If you have this If you are confused, you might as well try this:
First, treat others with sincerity, blame yourself with a sense of responsibility for others, and forgive others with a sense of forgiveness for yourself. We must be sincere and tolerant towards others, and be self-critical towards ourselves and must correct our mistakes. When interacting with others, how you treat others will be how others treat you. It's like looking in a mirror. Your own expressions and attitudes can be clearly seen in the expressions and attitudes of others towards you. If you treat others with sincerity, others will treat you with sincerity. If you are hostile to others, others will be hostile to you. The most sincere friendship and the most incomprehensible hatred are gradually caused by this "reflection" principle. Therefore, when you want to correct others, you should first correct yourself. You should treat others how you want others to treat you. If you want others to understand you, you must first understand others.
Second, cultivate true friendship. If you can do the first thing, many of your college friends will become your lifelong confidants. On the road of studying and pursuing one's own development together, this kind of friendship is extremely precious. When making friends, don't just look for people who have a similar temperament to you or who will only agree with you. There are many kinds of good friends: optimistic friends, wise friends, down-to-earth friends, humorous friends, friends who inspire you, friends who improve your abilities, friends who help you understand yourself, friends who tell you the truth, etc. . In addition, falling in love in college can also teach you how to take care of others and improve your empathy and self-control. However, when it comes to falling in love, you don't have to fall in love for the sake of falling in love.
Third, learn team spirit and communication skills. The community is a microscopic society, and participating in the community is the best training before entering the society. In the club, you can develop your teamwork and leadership skills, and you can also develop your professional expertise. But more importantly, you should be a sincere service provider and volunteer, or take the initiative to play the role of a communication bridge between classmates and teachers when working as a student, and use this to exercise your communication skills and serve your classmates and teachers. Serve. This kind of learning process will not be easy, and there will definitely be setbacks, but don't be discouraged. Interpersonal communication in university societies is a kind of learning that does not require "paying tuition." If you make a mistake, you can start over.
Fourth, learn from the people around you. In classes and clubs, observe the students around you, especially those students who you think have particularly strong social and communication skills, and see how they get along with others.
For example, look at how they deal with conflicts in relationships, how to persuade and influence others, how to use their cooperation and coordination skills, how to express respect and sincerity to others, how to express approval or disapproval, and how to speak without offending others. Full display of personality and so on. Through observation and imitation, you will gradually find that your interpersonal skills will improve unexpectedly. In school, every friend can be your mentor, and their enthusiasm, humor, wit, erudition, integrity, communication, politeness and other qualities can all become your learning objects. At the same time, those people and things you don't like can also sound the alarm for you, warning you not to do those people and things. Of course, you should also generously help every friend and try to be their mentor and role model.
Fifth, improve self-cultivation and personality charm. If you feel that having no specialties or hobbies may become an obstacle to improving your interpersonal skills, then you can consciously choose and cultivate some interests and hobbies. Shared interests and hobbies are also one of the ways for you to build deep relationships with your friends. Many people who have made great achievements in their careers are not bookworms who just study hard behind closed doors. Most of them have their own interests and hobbies. Among my colleagues at Microsoft Research Asia are experts in painting, bridge and sports. Hobbies are not only a way of interpersonal communication, but also allow everyone to explore their potential outside of studying. For example, physical exercise can both unleash your athletic potential and develop your team spirit. If you really have no hobbies, then reading more good books to enrich your knowledge can also improve your interpersonal skills, because nothing can better reflect a person's personality charm than wisdom and profound knowledge.
Experiences in making friends
People need friends when they are alive. Friends who need to play when they are children; friends who need things to do when they grow up; friends who need to talk to when they are old. Needing friends is like a fish needing water, and life needs oxygen. Bacon said: "The lack of true friends is the purest and most pitiful loneliness. Without friendship, the world is just a wilderness." However, in today's advocating material civilization, the temptation of material desires flows freely in the bizarre and complicated world. In the sophistication of the world, looking for friends is like looking for water in the desert; looking at friendship is like looking at flowers in the fog.
Foreigners and Chinese people have different views on friends. The famous British poet Hubbard believes: "A true friend is a friend who does not ask for anything." The Chinese believe: "Rely on your parents at home, rely on friends when you go out" and "multiple friends, multiple paths." From the advice of our ancestors, it is not difficult for us to see the "pragmatism" contained in friendship.
An old saying goes: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water; the friendship between villains is as sweet as wine." Choosing friends based on righteousness is the friendship of gentlemen; making friends based on profit is the friendship of villains. The story of Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei's "Three Brothers in the Peach Garden" in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" has been passed down through the ages and is enviable. It has become a well-known model of friendship among women and children. Therefore, the ancients had the exclamation that "there is only one confidant in the world, and you don't have to hate him." "Li Bai was about to leave in a boat when he suddenly heard people singing on the shore. The Peach Blossom Pond was a thousand feet deep, and it was not as deep as Wang Lun's love for me." This poem even pushes the deep and touching friendship between friends to the extreme of romance, making people wish they could be there for their friends. A promise of life and death.
In fact, making friends does not necessarily mean making friends who are willing to cut one's throat. Today, when people's hearts are not ancient and emotions are floating around, I would like to make friends with someone who "even if they are hundreds of miles away, they can believe it and not be moved by the nonsense; if they hear someone slandering them, they will try to analyze it in many ways; it is appropriate to do it" When it is appropriate to stop, we will make plans and decisions on our behalf; or when things are at a critical moment, we will help those who are in need, and we will not need to hear about them, nor will we worry about whether they are a burden to me or not." It is no longer an easy task to be a friend. Friends with the word "righteousness" in their heads have long become stories within stories. Of course, by lowering some standards and being more tolerant and understanding, ordinary friends can still be friends. As the saying goes: "To appreciate flowers, you need to make rich friends, to climb mountains, you need to make easy friends, to go boating, you need to make open friends, to look at the moon, you have to make cold friends, and to catch wine, you have to make charming friends." According to the needs of different emotional levels, making friends at different levels will always have some benefits in broadening life, adding interest, and understanding society. And if you understand the principle of "to treat knowledgeable friends, it's like reading different books; to elegant friends, it's like reading famous poems; to respectful friends, it's like reading the scriptures of sages; to funny friends, it's like reading legendary novels", you can make friends with them. Find a small number of friends who have a certain quality and have similar temperaments.
Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "people are divided into groups and things are gathered together". But making friends should not be based on wealth or poverty. The most important thing in making friends is heart-to-heart and character.
Don't make friends with fair-weather friends, don't make friends with snobs, don't make friends with those who work hard and show off, don't make friends with people who are unkind to get rich, don't make friends with those who rely on power, bully old people, don't make friends with duplicitous people, don't make friends with people who are dishonest and without virtue, and don't make friends with those who rely on force to bully the weak. If you make good friends, you can get support in your career and get comfort mentally. Failure to make good friends will often lead to idleness and even lead to countless and unexpected regrets. You should be chivalrous when making friends, and always keep your sincerity in your life, so that you can enjoy a life nourished by friendship. Not long ago, my son Sun Zilong received the admission notice from Jiangsu University. We were very happy for him when our eldest son called me from his hometown in Wuhu to tell me: My great-nephew Qin Fei was admitted as a national defense student at Northwestern Polytechnical University. My daughter also called me: I have a colleague’s daughter who got admitted to Zhejiang University, and a colleague’s child got admitted to Shanghai Lixin University of Finance and Economics, as well as the children of neighbors and relatives. All told, there are seven or eight wedding parties this year! My eldest son and daughter each wrapped gifts for us. But their parents still invited us home to attend their wedding banquet. I thought: We should go back and congratulate the parents and congratulate the children!
Experiences in making friends
The universe has the ability to accommodate everything, and we are part of it. Life is short and ordinary. Why not use your limited life to experience the extraordinary? What about your experience? Although we are all over the world, friendship can transcend the limitations of time and space. No matter where you are, there will be people caring about you and blessing you from afar. He will encourage you when you are frustrated, comfort you when you are sad, and accompany you when you are lonely-----
I have some wonderful experiences in making friends, and I hope to share them with you.
After I entered high school, my home was far away from school, so I had to go home for a long time. School was about to start and I was in the car, bored with no one to accompany me. There was a man older than me sitting next to me, and we didn’t speak for a long time after getting in the car. Half an hour later, he took out his camera to take pictures of people working outside the window. I asked curiously, "Are you a reporter?" Because he was holding a large zoom camera, so I asked. He said no! So we started chatting. It turns out that he is from Hangzhou, and he went to Northeast China with several close friends during the holidays and hiked along the boundary river. But due to something unexpected, I had to come back early. He told me about his experiences, and I also told him a lot about the beautiful scenery of my hometown. We became friends. He has been working for many years and has told me a lot of his experiences. From him, I have learned many ways to deal with people and become more curious about life. My feeling is that he is a very optimistic person about life and a very sincere person towards his friends. After arriving at the station, we separated. We connected by phone a few days later. Until now, we are still communicating online, talking about the weather in Northeast China, attitudes and feelings about life, supporting and encouraging each other ------
Maybe you won't believe it, but it is indeed true ,
In fact, it is easy to make friends, but it is indeed very difficult to maintain friendship. Sincerity is the first step. I don’t know what your experience in making friends is, I look forward to you telling me! ! !
I would like to appeal here. Treating each other sincerely is the secret to the evergreen tree of friendship.