What are the emotional problems of the elderly?
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According to the survey, 27% of them rely on their children to take care of them, and 73% rely on their wives. When sick and in need of care, 82% of them are taken care of by their wives, and only 18% are taken care of by their children.
Speaking of children's company, many elderly people may not get it. China is aging, and it is accelerating. The most serious problem is the problem of empty nesters.
Although the elderly depend on their children to a certain extent, they just want to be close to their children. This yearning for children is likely to cause psychological diseases such as loneliness and depression. The children are too busy to take care of. Most children think that if their parents are active, they can solve minor illnesses such as headache and fever without taking care of them. If they really can't move or are seriously ill, it's not too late for them to take care of themselves. After the old people brought up their children, they all had their own small families after marriage. Coupled with the busy work, the days when they can take time to take care of the elderly are numbered. When they are near, they can also use their free time to go home and have a look.
It's far. It will take several days to go home. It is not easy. It is difficult for parents to see them all year round! After growing up, parents' position in children's minds is no longer as important as when they were children, and even dispensable.
friendship
I don't agree with my children's ideas, I have conflicts with my wife, and I want to seek emotional comfort ... The old man has a lot of worries and it is difficult to tell his family, lover and children. At this time, friends are the biggest reliance.
But some people cannot make friends when they are old. For example, lonely and depressed old people tend to be "autistic" and refuse to make new friends; Many old people "leave their homes" for their children and come to strange cities to take care of their children and help their grandchildren. However, due to language barriers and different customs, they both expect and refuse to make new friends. Some retired people will gradually lose the enthusiasm among colleagues, become uneasy and uncomfortable, and then lose interest in making new friends; There are also some old people who like to compare themselves, such as earning more than their children and achieving more than their grandchildren. These are like "poison" for old people to make friends, and old friends will gradually alienate.
Love aspect
According to the survey, among 100 elderly people, 69% now have an original spouse, 23% are widowed, 1% are unmarried and 7% are remarried. Among the elderly people with spouses, 77% are satisfied with their current spouses, accounting for 23% in total.
However, in social life, the divorce rate and widowed rate of the elderly are getting higher and higher, and more and more elderly people find partners to live together through remarriage, so as to relive the warmth and happiness of family and marriage. However, the remarriage of the elderly has been seriously hindered and interfered, and this interference mainly comes from the children of both elderly people.
The most basic and main problem is that the remarriage of the elderly involves the property of both elderly people, and some elderly children are worried that the property of their biological father or mother will fall into the bag of "others". Therefore, the biological father or mother is strongly refused to remarry, regardless of the loneliness of the elderly.
What bad psychology can the emotional problems of the elderly cause?
After retirement, the old people feel that they are no longer the pillar of the family, losing their value in family status and economy, their health is not as good as before, their children are indifferent, their marriage problems, and they have little contact with friends. All these factors may make the elderly feel uncomfortable, thus making them change psychologically, becoming fragile, sensitive, selfish, lonely and depressed, etc., which is manifested as grumpy, complaining and even autistic. This can easily induce the elderly to suffer from diseases such as Alzheimer's disease.
How do old people face emotional problems?
Face love
Old people should learn to divert their attention from the difficulty of their children coming home, not dwell on the reasons, but learn to understand, and get along with their children to do the following:
1, treat children equally.
No matter your son, daughter-in-law, daughter and son-in-law, you should treat them as your family, treat them with the same mentality and never take sides. If you are partial to this, alienate that, and do things unfairly, you will naturally not win the respect and love of your children. So pay attention to making a bowl of level in front of the children.
2. Stop gossiping and mind your own business
Try to be more tolerant and understanding to your children. Don't always criticize even if you find that your child is dissatisfied in some ways. If there is anything really wrong, you can give good guidance and patient education. Don't be sarcastic or chatty, it will only add fuel to the fire, so learn to control your mouth.
Don't ask too much of your children.
If the old people don't understand their children's difficulties and always give them problems, they will be under great pressure. I believe it is difficult for them to really submit to you. So, if you want to get along well with your children, try not to ask too much of them on weekdays. If you really want your children to be filial to you, just pay attention to emotional communication with them. You should know how to compromise with money and don't put too much financial pressure on your children.
4. Learn to play the fool.
Old people should be more tolerant of their children. If the children at home have quarrels or disputes, allow them to fully express their opinions, and then try to seek common ground while reserving differences. Don't always fight against children, and then you have to fight for the difference between high and low. It's really boring Everyone is a family. As elders, we should learn to be stupid and modest, so as not to hurt each other's feelings and leave cracks.
5. Share housework properly and relieve children's stress.
In modern society, the pressure of life is great, and the pressure of work is not small. Children drag their tired bodies home every day, hoping for a warm meal and a comfortable place to rest quietly. At this time, if parents can try their best to share some housework, help their children cook and mop the floor, the children will naturally appreciate your efforts and be more willing to be filial to you in the future. Naturally, a family can live in harmony for a long time.
Face friendship
As the saying goes, "clothes are new, people are old." Yang Ping said that old friends are tested by "meeting people for a long time", and it is very rare to maintain friendship for more than ten years or even decades. Everyone has many * * * topics and memories. This is also the reason why it is the easiest to accompany you all your life when you are young, and it is the easiest to never give up when you encounter difficulties. Frequent contact is the best preservative for old friendship. Often talk on the phone with old friends, exchange new changes in life, and recall interesting things when I was young; If you are in the same city, you might as well meet often for a walk, play chess and visit the park.
Friends around the elderly may move away or die one after another, which requires making more new friends. First of all, you can pay attention to "what to play" and take interest as the leading factor. It is important to make friends with similar interests. The same hobbies can provide more topics for each other and enhance understanding. Secondly, building a circle of friends through one's own skills, such as helping neighbors repair TV sets, sewer pipes, making handicrafts for others, and even sharing experiences with grandchildren, can subtly expand the circle.
Finally, keep a cool mind and have less competition. Old people should not be too utilitarian in making friends, and the topic of chatting should be as relaxed as possible, so don't compare with each other.
Facing the problem of love
Old people also have the right to pursue love and a happy life. When people are old, they are most likely to be lonely. Even if children are filial, they can't stay with them all the time. Therefore, the elderly hope to have a companion, take care of each other in life, have nothing to say and have a spiritual comfort.
Generally speaking, the fundamental significance of remarriage of the elderly lies not in "marriage" but in "providing for the elderly". With the progress of society, young people should give more understanding to the needs of the elderly, such as courtship, cohabitation, "walking marriage" and "trial marriage". But from a legal point of view, cohabitation of the elderly can not be protected by law, so it is better for the elderly to register for marriage. In order to avoid the trouble brought by remarriage, an agreement can be signed before remarriage, which will clearly state the property of the elderly, the relationship with their children, the pensions of both parties, and how to deal with illness. And it is called "agreement remarriage", which is more conducive to protecting the rights and interests of the elderly. Both children and society should show humanistic care for single elderly people and support them to remarry.
According to Article 18 of the Law on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly, the freedom of marriage of the elderly is protected by law. Children or other relatives shall not interfere with the divorce, remarriage and married life of the elderly. Moreover, the maintenance obligation of the supporter is not eliminated by the change of the marriage of the elderly.
How do children meet the emotional needs of the elderly?
1, family needs
What the elderly care most about is family ties. Most old people want to spend more time with their children. On the surface, they care about their children's career and family, but in fact they always care about their children and expect them to live better. Older friends generally love their grandchildren more than care about their children. The main reasons are: traditional concept of consanguinity; Make up for the "regret" of not paying enough attention to children in the past; As a vulnerable group with young grandchildren, they all need the care of others. A happy family is the greatest wish of the elderly. But now children are generally unwilling to live with their parents, which makes the elderly feel lonely and helpless in life. Therefore, children should pay more attention to the elderly. Even if they can't live together, they should always go home and visit, make more phone calls to care about the health of the elderly, and don't let the elderly feel lonely.
2. Love needs
As the saying goes, "Young couples always come together." Young people should pursue love, and so should old people. Widowed or divorced elderly people need emotional comfort, care and comfort because of loneliness. It's not a scandal that old people need love. There are several reasons why children don't respect the feelings of the elderly and don't agree with their parents' remarriage: first, conceptually, some children think that their parents' remarriage is shameful; Second, economically, I am worried that my parents' remarriage will affect my inheritance rights; Third, in terms of maintenance, I think parents have increased their burden after remarriage. As a result, some children do not respect their parents' emotional choices, interfere with the remarriage of the elderly, and cause pain to the elderly. Therefore, it is everyone's responsibility to protect the rights and interests of the elderly, and children should also respect the emotional choices of the elderly.
3. Social emotional needs
Many old people are prone to the idea that they are useless after retirement, because their social and emotional needs are not met. Although old friends can't do much in society, they are still very concerned about all kinds of things in society and express their participation in their own unique ways, thus obtaining emotional satisfaction. For example, retired people can go to some places with poor traffic to help direct traffic, which can let the elderly play their residual heat and meet social and emotional needs. This kind of emotional demand is the highest emotional demand of human beings. Although old people are not as strong as young people, they are still very important.
Understand the emotional needs of the elderly, remind children not only to care about the physical health of the elderly, but also to pay attention to the emotional needs of the elderly, meet their needs, and let the elderly live a happy and healthy old age.