When a gray sparrow with a broken wing died in the snow, no one knew what happened, and no one cared.

01

I am Shen Qiutang, an ordinary college student who is a little bit different. During those days, all three of my roommates took leave and went home. I also asked the counselor for a week's leave, because I was under pressure and wanted to commit suicide. Well - I just found a random reason, but who knew that the counselor believed it and came to me to enlighten me. He also called my parents. After I finally got home, I still had to hold it in the house every day. It’s still a good reason for the eldest sister in the dormitory to go home and get married. But I think if I use this excuse, the guide won’t let me go back safely if I can’t produce the wedding video.

When the days are boring, I often stand on a stool and look down from the window of a high-rise building. Today I discovered that sparrow. The sparrow in gray looked like the ant I was looking down at while standing. No, this This description doesn't seem to be accurate. Like the moon looking down at me? That's not right, then I will be even smaller than the gray sparrow, so small that I can be ignored.

"Xiaotang, it's time to eat!" Just as I was lying on the window with my head down thinking, my mother opened my door. Her newly made short hair with instant noodles still smelled like barbershop medicine. She saw me Suddenly a look of panic appeared on her impatient face, and her rosy face turned pale with fright, "Xiaotang, come in quickly, don't fall!"

She ran over and grabbed my slender waist. legs, eyes filled with a layer of red light. I hurriedly stretched my head back from the window, bared my teeth and smiled at her, "Mom, why are you so nervous? I was just looking at the scenery."

My mother noticed her gaffe and came back to her senses. Then he pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows, pinched my ears and pulled me off the bench, "You little bastard, who would stick his upper body out to see the scenery!" I had no choice but to beg for mercy with a smile, "Wrong, wrong..." In fact, I can’t blame my mother entirely. I also see clearly. Being misunderstood is already common. Even if the guide didn’t call me, this can be regarded as normal, because this is the third time that I have been mistakenly thought that I committed suicide. One hundred and sixty-five times.

I have to admit that this is really my fault, because I did try to commit suicide once. It was when I was in junior high school. I was ridiculed and isolated by a girl named Zhang Yuanyuan. During lunch break, I sneaked to the balcony of the dormitory building and sat alone in a corner. The weather was so hot that it quickly soaked my school uniform. I held it in my right hand. I was holding a pencil sharpener and wanted to slit my wrists, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have a left arm, so in my eyes, it was an art form for others to slit their wrists with both hands. I took off my canvas shoes, took off my socks, clamped the knife with my left foot, and with trembling strength, I leaned my right wrist over and scratched it lightly. There was no blood, just pain. The pain made me squeeze out tears and cursed. : "Damn, this thing is so dull."

After grinning for a while, he decided not to do anything at all and scratched it again. He clamped the knife hard with his left foot and scratched it hard. All of a sudden, it really worked this time. The blood came out like a spring. Before I had time to be happy, my left foot started to twitch due to long-term lack of training. The blood in my right wrist kept flowing and the pain made me cry. Si Hengliu, I forgot all about committing suicide and cutting my wrists in Java. I only remember what my mother often told me, it is better to die than to live. Besides, that bitch Zhang Yuanyuan is not worthy of me to die because of her. I was born without a left arm. You can’t blame me. Thinking of this, I limped downstairs and ran to the teacher to cry for help. Later, the school made pencil sharpening knives contraband, and the balcony of the dormitory was also sealed. Zhang Yuanyuan, who often practiced dancing on the balcony, stamped her feet angrily. Looking at me with her flat eyes, I wanted to laugh but couldn't, so I gritted my teeth to control my facial muscles. This may also be some kind of karma, I think.

"Are you leaving today?" Dad, wearing an apron, put the porcelain plate with hot dishes on the dining table, then turned to look at the gloomy sky and frowned, "I'm afraid it's going to snow heavily again. . ”

“I’ve bought the train ticket and will be leaving soon.” I pulled up the wooden chair, set the dishes, and handed Dad a pair of chopsticks.

“Remember to call home when you get there.

"My mother brought out a bowl of soup from the kitchen, filled a bowl for me, and handed it to me. The smell of the medicine in the barber shop was diluted by the aroma of the hot soup, "If you need anything, call anytime. "

"Okay" I nodded and looked out the dark window, suddenly thinking of the gray sparrow falling on the snow.

02

Road than I thought it would go smoothly, so I took two buses and got off near the train station. When I was about to enter the station after collecting my ticket, I saw it started to snow. It was still early and I sat down with my small blue suitcase. Watching the snow on the steps at the entrance

I like winter because I wear thick clothes so my broken arm doesn’t attract attention. I straightened my left sleeve. , to make it look more natural.

Just as I was arranging my clothes, I caught a glimpse of a girl wearing a pink down jacket and white short boots walking towards me, covered by a light pink hood. Her forehead was slightly swollen, her long and flat eyes were more delicate and charming in the make-up, her nose bridge was slightly flat, her lips were full, and her face was fair and flawless. Although it was a little different from the past, I recognized her very identifiable facial features at a glance. It was her - Zhang Yuanyuan.

She said goodbye to the man next to her and was walking toward me. My subconscious fear made me want to hide in the increasingly heavy snow.

Why is she here? Should I say hello to her? She is an old classmate after all, but our relationship is not that good. If we just pass each other like this, will it be awkward? Why don't I pretend? Don’t you know me? But if she recognizes me, will she see through my disguise and laugh at my weakness? I can guarantee that I am the only person she is familiar with who has a broken arm, and she will recognize me immediately. But I obviously disguised myself very well and even wore a mask...

Just as I was hesitating, Zhang Yuanyuan looked towards me and walked closer and closer, five meters, four meters, three meters... The feeling of oppression was approaching, and I stood up suddenly. I stood on the steps with a short stature, probably about the same height as her. In an instant, I made up my mind to greet her proactively. I will not show weakness to her, ever. No!

"Hi, Zhang..."

Before I could finish speaking, a red umbrella was placed in front of me. Zhang Yuanyuan glanced over and walked straight away. Let's go. Judging from her expression, she probably didn't recognize me. My tense body relaxed, and my face was covered with embarrassment.

"Hello, please. Where to pick up tickets? "Under the red umbrella is an extremely handsome and beautiful girl. She is wearing a pure white coat and an A-line red skirt. Her knee-high boots are tightly wrapped to reveal her perfect legs. Her skin is delicate and white, and her cheeks are slightly slender. She was red and dizzy, her eyes were quite big, and the corners of her eyes were eye-catching.

"Over there..." I pointed to the east, but I couldn't take my eyes away from her face. This girl was younger than me. Everyone I have seen in college is so beautiful, they are so beautiful that they look like fairies!

"Thank you..." She smiled and turned around. I turned around to search for Zhang Yuanyuan in the crowd, but she disappeared. There is no smell left. The snow is getting heavier and heavier, and the steps are soon covered with a layer of snowflakes. There are no traces of her walking, but my heart suddenly becomes clear from this moment.

There is heavy snow along the way, and the train is delayed. For half an hour, the station was crowded with people. I sat on the blue suitcase and leaned in the corner to watch the snow. A pair of white short boots tapped on the ground and finally stopped in front of me.

"Shen Qiutang? She looked at me in disbelief, "I didn't expect to meet an acquaintance when I went to the toilet. Isn't this my good one-armed roommate!" ”

I stood up and raised my head to face her. The humiliating words made me ashamed and angry. Her height advantage and her unique visual advantage oppressed my bravery. I found that I couldn’t find it for a while. Use any words to refute her.

"Zhang Yuanyuan...you...you are really...the same as before..." I would panic when talking to her, and I still feel the same now. It really hasn't changed at all. "She giggled, took out a tissue from her pocket and wiped her hands. The movement of her fingers folded seemed to be a preparatory gesture before taking action, as if the joints were rattling. She twisted her wrists, and her palms were stretched out until they turned white. A bright light flashed in front of my eyes. In a flash, a crisp sound echoed through the dimly lit dormitory illuminated by a small table lamp at night.

03

"Do you know you are wrong, you broken arm!" Zhang Yuanyuan's voice was not loud, but she opened my ears tightly and poured it into my brain. I sat Beside the bed, his right arm was grabbed by several girls. One side of his face was red as if he had a high fever, and his fingers were clearly visible. I stared at her with wide eyes, refusing to say a word.

"You are really disabled and mentally strong, you bitch!" She gritted her teeth and hit me a few times. There was blood from the corner of my mouth. She grabbed the desk lamp of the girl next to her and adjusted the light. It reached the brightest point, and it hit my widened eyes. My eyes turned white. I couldn't bear the piercing light and was forced to close my eyes. My head seemed to be beaten by someone and I felt dizzy. Someone put it on my chest. A punch, a slap with different temperatures on the face, which made the acrid pain more and more intense. Someone took off my clothes, and someone kicked me in the abdomen...

The sound that was not loud was still there. After pouring into my mind, "Such a snitch will make you unable to speak for the rest of your life..." A loud slap in the face destroyed my last wall, and I fell to the ground tremblingly, my anger turning into fear.

"The teacher is here, the teacher is here, spread out!"

A burst of clicking sounds sounded irregularly, the messy small desk lamp light disappeared, and in front of my eyes It finally darkened. I lay naked on the ground, gasping for cold air like crazy, curled up into a snail, holding my chest with my right arm, feeling numb with the acrid pain, as if my flesh was rising and evaporating, while my heavy bones were falling to the bottom of the abyss...

But I didn’t choose to give in. I got up, opened the door and asked the teacher for help. I gritted my teeth and pointed my right hand tremblingly at Zhang Yuanyuan, who was pretending to sleep. The teacher’s flashlight shone on her face and forced her away in anger. She looked at me with slightly panicked eyes, and her eyes were as cold as ice knives, which made my short body tremble all over, but I believed in justice and would never give in.

No one could have imagined that we would eventually reconcile. It may be difficult to understand, but it did happen. After she was punished, she returned to school and brought a bouquet of baby's breath to apologize to me. I didn't accept it, but she put it on my desk. The small blue flowers alone are immature and weak, but in a cluster of flowers, they look so warm and happy, like the friends I long for and the friendship of mutual love.

She really seems to have changed. She will share things with me when she buys them. She no longer avoids me when she whispers. She will not isolate me in group activities. She will even stand in for me when others insult me. say. I am very happy to think that she really wants to make friends, so I will often help her get hot water, practice dancing, help her carry clothes, and go to the supermarket to queue up to buy her her favorite snacks...

But I gradually saw vague contempt in her kind eyes. These contempts are gradually mixed into the words, forming sentences that are easy to ignore but very harsh -

"Let Shen Qiutang go, she loves running errands the most!"

"Yes. "The one with the broken arm lives in the same dormitory as me."

"Do you still need to ask the teacher this question? Your brain is as damaged as your arm?" She chuckled and lowered her head to explain the question to me. The word "mutilated" is like a long needle inserted into the sole of the foot, secretly offensive and painful. I gritted my teeth and my ears were red, but I couldn't form a complete sentence to refute her hurt. That slap had almost knocked away all my courage, and my broken arm was always a warning that I was fragile. Seeing that I didn't respond, she put away her smile and threw the pen on the ground, "Did you listen? Don't you understand the basic respect?"

"I'm sorry...I...I don't like being mutilated... This word." I lowered my head and spoke in a low voice. I don't seem to know since when I didn't dare to look directly into her eyes. "Please...also...respect me..." I said. I would rather become a lonely little flower forever than lose my self-esteem. This is what I think is the right choice and the most courageous resistance. But even so, the damage and influence she brought to me were as profound as a broken arm. Even the fear and inferiority I felt when facing her would be transferred to anyone who was close to me.

04

The train station sounded the reminder to check in and check in. Zhang Yuanyuan exchanged a few words with me and waved goodbye to me. Her tall and slender figure was getting further and further away from me, forgetful. The perpetrator will not be tortured by her own sins. She will always have an elegant temperament and a beautiful life. This is what I have seen.

When I walked to the platform, the train had stopped and I didn’t see Zhang Yuanyuan. I found my carriage. There were not many people. I quickly found my seat, which was by the window. In my seat, with the window slightly open, I could clearly see the scenery passing by and the cold smell of the snow.

"Excuse me..." A gentle female voice sounded from beside me. I turned around and saw the very beautiful girl I had just seen standing in front of me. She was holding a box in her left hand, with her little finger Holding the closed red umbrella, I pointed to my seat with the ticket in my right hand, "This seat seems to be mine..."

"Huh?" I took it out of my backpack. She carefully compared her ticket with her ID card and found that the train time and seats were exactly the same as hers.

"You must not have been deceived. I bought this photo on the official website!" I looked at her in surprise, and a smile spread across her beautiful face, "Shen Qiu Tang. , So it’s your name now.” She looked at my ID card and said softly.

I didn’t care what she said, I just wanted to know what the problem was, “If you checked in normally and entered the bus, the data may be wrong. Let’s go talk to the flight attendant. The ticket purchase record should prove that it is possible to change the ticket."

"No," she said, "There are many seats, I can sit anywhere." She looked around. Look, he's sitting opposite me. She put down the red umbrella and the box and looked up at me, which made me feel very uncomfortable. It seemed that since Zhang Yuanyuan's abuse, I no longer dare to look at others face to face as an equal.

"Are you uncomfortable? I'll change positions." She stood up, took out a book from the box and sat next to me. He opened the book, looked at it, and then turned to look at me. "Can I trouble you again?"

"Huh?"

"That's right, I'm a story writer, and this is my first story, but I haven't finished it yet, so I only have half of it. I have no idea about the development of the plot, so I would like to hear your opinion."

"Sorry, I have no interest in it and I am not good at it. I'm afraid I can't help you much." I turned to look at the snow-covered world outside the window and tightened my empty sleeve on the left. She didn't express regret, nodded and read the book seriously. The train stopped at a station and then walked away. No one came to us. The white snow outside the window only made it boring. "Tell me about it, maybe I can help you." I said.

"Okay" a smile broke out on her face again, "My story happened a long time ago..."

If I have to define it, I can probably classify that story It is a fantasy fairy tale, and the story line is very simple. It basically tells the story of the heroine Haitang who gradually transforms from a weakling into a legendary monster hunter. The plot stops when Haitang meets a flower demon. The flower demon was originally an immortal, but he secretly married a human man. The man was unkind and unfaithful, and the immortal killed someone and turned into a demon. At this time, the talented demon hunter Haitang heard the news and came over. He fought fiercely with the flower demon for two days and killed her. He was subdued, but because he was an immortal, he did not dare to deal with it privately and repay it to heaven.

"The Emperor of Heaven was furious when he heard this and banished the flower demon to the underworld, and ordered that no one would be able to resurrect him without his bones and blood." She read, holding the last page of the book between her fingers, and looked at me closing it. Reading a book seems to be an invitation to continue the story.

"If you were Haitang, what would you do?" She continued to ask, her charming eyes slightly pressing her red eyes.

"Me?" I pointed to myself and she nodded. I leaned back on the seat and began to imagine, "If I were Begonia, I might not become a monster hunter and hunt all day long. Killing is so terrifying. If I were the monster hunter, I might..." I touched my missing left arm, thinking that it would be a good idea to exchange it for her life, but I hesitated. I still can't bear the pain it caused me.

"I will save her." But I still gave this answer, because I seemed to have entered the body of Story Haitang in the trance of thinking, and I saw the flower demon lying on the ground in pain. , she was trembling all over, suffering from betrayal and injury, and she was crying in her eyes, longing for mercy from me, how much she resembled that poor myself...

"Yes, Haitang That's what she did!" The girl clutched the book and looked at me, her eyes wet with mist. "She sent the flower demon to the underworld and refused to leave. She cut off her left arm and gave it to the flower demon. And come back to life!"

I nodded, "That's okay, after all, Haitang is so powerful, he shouldn't be bullied because of his broken arm. But it would feel a bit strange if your story doesn't have a male protagonist. ..."

The girl held my right hand, and the book in her hand fell to the ground. The words in the book were missing, "I have been practicing in the underworld for thousands of years, and I never dare to forget Haitang's great kindness. I came back today just to repay you. Give me an arm!"

I was shocked and immediately pushed her hand away, "Sister, don't take the story seriously!"

The girl in front of me had a smile on her face. , and a crabapple flower bloomed in the palm of her hand, "This is proof that what she said is true!" She gave the crabapple flower to me, and the crabapple flower melted into juice in my hand and entered my body. I suddenly felt broken. My left arm was itching. I wanted to scratch it but the girl grabbed my right hand and said, "Hold on, it will be soon!"

The violent tearing feeling made me scream, as if my bones were broken. The cross-section of the arm was being re-covered bit by bit with the adhering flesh... I was covered in sweat and couldn't help crying!

05

"Qiutang, wake up!"

The smell of my mother's newly done hair entered my body, forcing me to wake up suddenly. I hugged my mother and told her, crying, that I dreamed that my left arm had grown.

Left arm? No, it seems to be there all the time...

"What are you talking about, what left arm?" Mom pushed me aside, "I have to go to school today, so wake up quickly and get up. After eating some food, it’s time to catch the train!”

I hurriedly got up and pulled the bench to lie on the window sill to watch the gray sparrows downstairs. I found that the heavy snow had fallen early, and the gray sparrows with broken wings might have been killed. Covered in snow, or maybe it never existed... As for the answer, I don't want to know.

"Are you leaving today?" Dad, wearing an apron, carried a porcelain plate with hot dishes and placed it on the dining table.

"I've bought the train ticket and I'll be leaving soon." I pulled up the wooden chair, set out the dishes, and handed Dad a pair of chopsticks.

"Remember to call home when you arrive." My mother brought out a bowl of soup from the kitchen, filled a bowl for me, and handed it to me. The smell of the barber shop's medicine was diluted by the aroma of the hot soup. "By the way, your counselor just called and asked you to bring your marriage certificate as proof. You can also bring a wedding video." Mom closed her mouth tightly to avoid laughing.

"Huh?" I almost spit out the food in my mouth. I thought that returning to school this time would not be so smooth... I looked out the window and thought of Zhang Yuanyuan and that girl. I wonder if they will still be there. Appear.

All of this is old and yet new. So what is a dream and what is reality? What is true and what is false?

I still had a smooth journey. I pulled my small blue suitcase and looked at the snow on the steps. I saw Zhang Yuanyuan walking from a distance. I stood on the steps and estimated the position that was equal to her height.

She got closer and closer and finally found me because there was no red umbrella. “Hi, isn’t this my old roommate Shen Qiutang, long time no see!”

“Hi , Zhang Yuanyuan...you...you are really...the same as before..."