It is often said that you depend on your parents at home and your friends outside. This well-known saying permeates the importance of friends to one's social life. However, it also shows that we should have certain principles when choosing friends.
Confucius often said that making friends has three benefits and three losses. I just kept it in my mind, and I didn't know it was in The Analects. The original sentence is like this:
Confucius said: The winner has three friends, and the loser has three friends. Friends are straightforward, friends forgive, and friends listen more, which is beneficial; Friends are easily broken, friends are soft, and friends are easily lost. This is something I am invisibly familiar with, so it is not difficult to understand.
The so-called "three friends benefit" means: friends are straightforward, friends forgive, and friends listen more. One of them is "being friendly", which refers to a friend who is frank, fair, upright and can correctly distinguish right from wrong. However, in life, such "good friends" are also vague. Even a small example: when crossing the road with friends, did you pay attention to the traffic lights? If he leads a friend to run a red light in violation of traffic regulations, can he set an example and point out the mistake directly instead of "turning a blind eye"? Presumably, such friends are not many "treasures", but it is good to make friends. Secondly, "friendship and forgiveness" refers to friends who are generous. A hundred rivers are full of tolerance. Treating others with a tolerant attitude can reduce communication barriers and keep calm and relative distance between people. Making friends with such people can not only protect their personality and complete their dignity, but also broaden their horizons and make friends. Invisible, they will gradually learn to be sincere with others and gain more friends. Three, "friends know more", as the name implies, is "more knowledge", refers to knowledgeable friends. This kind of friend can be described as "top grade"! Get to know such people, make up for their shortcomings with their strengths, learn more and seek advice, and improve yourself. Why not? And Zeng Ziyun: A gentleman takes literature as his friend and benevolence as his help. Make like-minded friends, the purpose is to help each other and achieve the purpose of benevolence.
Therefore, making "good friends" subtly beautifies your personality and shows it on yourself. So people say that birds of a feather flock together, and you can see your own shadow from your friends. That's how it happened.
The so-called "loss of three friends" means: friendship is easy, friendship is soft, and friendship is easy. First, "friends make friends." He is the kind of eccentric person, or he likes flattery and is good at arguing, which makes people think that he has easy-to-get friends. I'm afraid I'll become unprincipled if I get along for a long time. The second type is "friendly and soft", that is, the personality is very weak and the dependence is extremely heavy. Even, blind obedience does not cater to independent opinions and personalities. He says he wants to go east and he says he wants to go west, which makes no difference. He said he would break the law, but although he thought it was wrong, he didn't object, and he did it. In modern language, it is equal to a wife-type friend. It can be said that success is not enough and failure is not enough. Third, "friendship is convenient", that is, it is an untrue rhetoric. What's more, he can be said to be an expert in flattery, which is definitely a weakness, a weakness. If you make friends with such a talkative person, aren't you in a den?
Therefore, it is better not to pay "bad friends" if you want to pay less! Yeah, not to be taunted, but I can afford to hide.
Confucius said that if you want to make good friends, one is willingness and the other is ability. The first is kindness, willingness to be close to others and willingness to make friends; Second, we must have the ability to distinguish, that is, the correct way to choose friends. Only in this way can we make friends with good quality. This is the so-called, what kind of friends you make, what kind of person you are.
Our friends are like a mirror, from which we can see our differences. Making good friends can not only cultivate self-cultivation, but also add luster to life. So make more friends and make more useful friends! Improve yourself in communication!