Originally, parents should not interfere too much in the friendship between their children, but Xiao Zhang found that every time her daughter happily went to play with her strong brother, the strong brother seemed unwilling to take care of her daughter. I can't bear to see my children frustrated unilaterally, so Xiao Zhang and his daughter discussed: "Meimei is a girl, but a strong brother is a boy, and boys and girls play different things, so dear, we can play with some children who are also girls, not necessarily with a strong brother."
Unexpectedly, after listening to her mother's words, Meimei did not nod, but said, "I don't want it. I just like my strong brother and want to play with him. " For her daughter's insistence, Xiao Zhang also expressed helplessness. In fact, the friendship between children basically does not need the intervention of adults, but when children blindly pay in a friendship, it is often easy to form a "low self-esteem personality."
Low self-esteem personality refers to a person's low sense of self-identity, lack of self-confidence and distrust of self-worth in the process of communicating with others or in a kind of interpersonal relationship. Usually, they are unwilling to test others' judgment on themselves and are too sensitive in interpersonal and social communication.
1 is not conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind.
The formation of children's character is mainly caused by acquired environment and educational factors. If children always play the role of "pleasing others" in interpersonal relationships, or do something wronged and perfect in order to gain the approval of others, then children who grow up in this environment will usually be affected in mental health.
2. It is not conducive to the formation of a correct concept of friendship.
To maintain a lasting relationship, both parties need to operate together, rather than one of them trying to please others unilaterally. Even if friendship is obtained, it is not necessarily true friendship. This deformed concept of friendship is likely to affect children's future friends. No matter who you get along with, you are used to paying unilaterally.
3. Children easily lose themselves.
For young children, it is the performance that children of this age should have to dare to protect their own things. To make friends and "wronged" their own behavior, such as Mei Mei, or willing to be someone else's "follower", is no self-expression. This type of children, in the process of interacting with others, will only rely on others and blindly pay for others. In the long run, children will easily become self-deprived.
1, give children more opportunities to exercise.
When children are strong enough and have their own bright spots, they will become more confident accordingly. Confident children usually have their own opinions, and naturally they don't need to rely on "attachment to others" to survive. Therefore, in the process of children's growth, parents should create more opportunities for their children to exercise themselves and let them have room for growth.
Many parents care too much about their children's opinions in the process of educating their children, hoping that every decision can fully respect their ideas. Even if their children are not interested in learning, parents still hold a Buddhist attitude. However, in today's society, it is normal for children to learn a skill. Parents' blind doting will only lead to children losing the opportunity to improve themselves, thus becoming self-deprived.
2. Encourage children to learn to express their views.
Children who have no self usually have no ability to express their inner views, so when others express their views, such people can only follow others and believe their views. This is one of the typical manifestations of "followers". Each of us has our own ideas, and those who learn to enhance their self-awareness when expressing their views are naturally not easy to rely on others.
Therefore, as parents, children should be encouraged to express their inner thoughts and adhere to the principle of self during their growth. When the child has clearly expressed his inner demands, parents should also pay attention to it, let the child feel "valued" and respect the child's personal wishes. When children feel that they are valued, they can naturally express their views and opinions bravely.
3. Parents carefully observe the child's inner situation.
As parents, in addition to providing children with good material living conditions, they should also pay more attention to their inner world. Nowadays, in order to create better living conditions for their children, many parents will make themselves work harder, thinking that this is a "responsibility" for their children, but in the process, they also ignore their inner feelings.
Minors are mostly sensitive and fragile, and what they need more is the care of their parents than a quality material life. Therefore, as parents, we must not ignore the inner feelings of our children. When children have some negative emotions, parents should find and enlighten them in time.
Ma Xuan taught the problem of parenting. Family education should be well studied and children should be healthy. I'm @ Ma Xuan Parenting Hall to help you solve your little parenting troubles (the pictures are all from the Internet, but they have been deleted).