Hello, I am Brother Zhou. I am very happy to answer your questions.

Regarding your question about why some people disguise their truest side, I think there should be the following five reasons.

People in society are sophisticated and various relationships are very complex. In addition, there are more and more uncertain factors in modern society, resulting in greater social risks and making some people feel insecure. Therefore, before fully trusting others, all they can do is disguise their truest side to protect themselves from harm.

In modern society, everyone’s work and life pressures are increasing, there are more and more utilitarian interpersonal interactions, and society is becoming more and more indifferent. There is no time and opportunity for everyone to understand each other and talk to each other. There are fewer and fewer people, so everyone feels less and less close to each other, and feels alienated. We can't guess what others are really thinking in their hearts.

He has disguised his truest side, or it may be because he does not understand or trust you, so he has disguised his truest side to you, while trusting her Or someone we are familiar with does not do this, but reveals his heart. This requires us to enter his inner world more and gain his trust.

Some people are born with insecurities, no matter who they are with. To be precise, these people are born with defects, such as autism, etc. No one can enter their truest inner world. They always live in their own world. For these people, we should sympathize with them instead of suspecting them and rejecting them.

Some people are relatively innocent at first, but later they may be greatly hurt due to some things, which makes them no longer trust the people around them or a specific group of people. So I closed myself off to the outside world. What we have to do for these people is to try our best to help them, so that they can regain their trust in others and the outside world, and let them believe that there are still many good things in the world.

Why do some people disguise their truest side? Not surprising, everyone has it in stock. How can a person not express everything in his heart? At least a minimum of rest is essential. What can and cannot be talked about? This is an effective way to protect one's own safety. Especially in this complex society, you should pay more attention to your language cultivation. Facts have proven that some people are all-pervasive, worming their way in wherever there are cracks and even if there are no cracks, magnifying the facts, making things full of dust and causing trouble. This is not a disguise, this is a strategy. I just lack experience in this area. I just say whatever I feel in my heart. I am not good at pretending. This is one of my biggest shortcomings. It is also easy to trust others, so it is easy to be deceived and hurt yourself. Rivers and mountains are easy to change, but nature is hard to change. As a straight-tempered person, my character has been set and hard to change.

Many people have this kind of life experience, especially in marriage and family. Everyone is familiar with the words, "Why are you like this?" The experience of love allows many people to put the best in themselves. One side is presented to the other side.

Perhaps many times, for various reasons, we hide our true selves in order to live in the eyes of others.

This is a very common phenomenon. When emergencies or accidents occur, many truths make us sigh, which reflects how hypocritical we are.

There are very profound reasons for the existence of this phenomenon, which are briefly stated here.

The first is education. Everyone should feel this. Starting from speaking, your family tells you not to lie, and you always follow it. But when you face reality and tell the truth, people say you Silly, people say you don’t want to hang out anymore, people say you don’t want your life! There are countless stories here.

The second is pressure. When a person is in childhood, carefree and free, with food to eat and clothes to stretch out his hands, why should he worry about anything? But when you grow up, troubles and sorrows follow, so the most familiar sentence we are most familiar with is: 'To be honest, I...' When you say or you hear others say time, what does it mean?

Thirdly, it is to follow social principles. The history of social development is the basic law for people to understand themselves and follow social principles to survive.

Without this rule, nature would be chaotic. However, each individual has its own distinct individual characteristics. If we express ourselves arbitrarily, the results can be imagined. Did anyone say I was wrong? Yes, but you must follow social principles, otherwise you will be alien or mentally ill.

Of course, you can always show your true side, unless you live at the top of society and have god-like abilities! If it’s some people, I don’t agree, it should be everyone. Because of this, we have spread a large number of rules for survival and social stability, and have realized relationships that are beneficial to the safety of others and ourselves, so that they can Develop in a state of constraints and balance.

In fact, if you are a rule maker, you will find that there are no absolute enemies and friends, no absolute right and wrong, no so-called good guys and bad guys! What is there is a changing principle of social relations!

How should I put it? These people can be roughly divided into two categories. Category 1 is that his original personality is like this. No matter where he is or under what circumstances, he always pretends to be like this. For example, if this type of person likes to pretend to be cool, but he is cool at heart, then his living conditions must be He is pretty good. He is tall, good-looking, and well-educated. So this kind of real suffering is the same for everyone before him and behind him. There are also people who like to show off their generosity. This kind of people have a natural personality. Such a characteristic, love to make friends, love to spend money, love to fight against inequality, and I am really not short of money, this is the same as before others, and so on, some people who come from families with good economic conditions, before others The queen showed the same style. People who don't know them generally think that it's a kind of "pretending", but in fact they don't need to pretend. This is their true strength, their original state, and they will not change their style because of people and things.

Type 2 people are like this. Of course, they are also the most common type of people among us, the most common type among people from all walks of life. This is the real pretense mentioned in the question. Of course, why are they pretending? I think there are various reasons, such as time, place, people, things, or the environment formed by any combination of these four reasons, which will cause these people to show off. But not all pretense is negative and bad. So let’s first analyze the main reason for pretending. This reason is also the reason for most people, because in today’s society, the economy is accelerating and changing with each passing day, in every adult’s world. There is a lot of pressure. These pressures prompt them to transform into a way of coping, which is to say whatever they want to say to whomever they meet, and switch at will. They have hidden their original nature deeply. They have no choice. If they don’t hide their original style, they may fail in all aspects and may hurt others. The only way is to change themselves into the kind of style that the other person likes. Only by doing things will be accepted by the majority of people and will you achieve all kinds of success. There are also a small number of people who have experienced stimulation in their growing environment, which has led them to use various disguises to cope with various environments as adults. This is also a style of self-protection. We cannot say that it is not good, we can only Call it a kind of sadness. Well, most of us make various personality and style adjustments in order to move forward with our own economic conditions, just to adapt to various situations. Therefore, not every one of us is born with business acumen or communication skills. Sometimes we are passive. Pretend all the way to cope with various occasions, and if you don't have the style required for these occasions, then you must pretend to be passive in order to win. Sometimes we take the initiative to succeed, a style acquired through learning. We pretend not to hurt others, but to make society more harmonious and the business environment smoother. In fact, 99% of us have the experience of pretending. Not only for ourselves, but also for the harmonious communication atmosphere created by everyone around us. It can be said that society continues to develop and progress, and to some extent, it is inseparable from pretending. In fact, such a performance is also a kind of condensation of our thousands of years of Chinese culture. I hope that my interpretation can make everyone suddenly enlightened or refreshed, and I will be satisfied.

It is not the study of human psychology. So I can't answer the question professionally. To briefly express my opinion: It should be this kind of person who is less confident or wants to protect himself better.

Isn’t this the case in the animal kingdom!

Three types of people (three reasons):

1. Personality: Introverted people often communicate less with others and are unwilling to expose their inner thoughts easily;

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2. Inferiority: People with low self-esteem, because they have been poor since childhood or have been mentally hurt, etc., wrap themselves up very tightly, making it difficult for outsiders to enter their inner world;

3. People who play politics: The struggle for power is life-and-death. People who expose their inner world easily will often die miserably. The higher up they are, the more insidious they are.

Some people disguise themselves to make themselves look more perfect, some people disguise themselves to protect themselves from harm, and some people disguise themselves for a certain purpose. In short, there are many reasons for pretending to be oneself, some are good and some are bad, it depends on how you judge it. Some are for profit, some are for reputation, and some are for emotion.

Hypocritical people are the most annoying. Hypocritical people do not deserve our sympathy, nor do they deserve our covering up for them. When we communicate with them, we always maintain a righteous attitude, maintain our own personality, and have our own stand. When we face them, we should behave according to our own principles.

I think disguise is to protect yourself. When facing colleagues, friends, and family members, different people show different behaviors. Be capable in front of colleagues, let others see your value in front of friends, let them see that your life is okay in front of family members, good or not. But the real bad temper and bad habits can only be seen behind closed doors. If you don't pretend to be someone else, you won't bear your own bad side. Going out of the house is more about interests. Even family ties are mostly maintained by money. So what if you show your true side? Who will accommodate it? Most of them Sometimes you are asking for trouble. Unless you stand at the top, others will consider your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy as their first priority. If you don't have that strength, you can just be your true self behind closed doors.

In today's society that emphasizes self-pleasure, people are generally not used to pretending to be themselves. Only by facing everything in life with their true selves will they not be tired. If you really want to disguise yourself, you must This is for the following two reasons:

Maybe my true self is too weak and I am afraid of being bullied by others. Those who have no money are afraid that others will look down upon them, those who are incompetent are afraid that others will look down upon them, and those who have no education are afraid that others will laugh at them... Only by pretending that they are powerful can they talk to others on an equal footing.

White lies are actually a phenomenon of protecting others. In order for others to feel at ease and happy, they sacrifice their true thoughts to protect others.

So in fact, no one likes to wrong themselves to pretend. They all have their own difficulties and have to hide themselves to make themselves and the people around them live a better life. Only by truly understanding the other person can you see their heart. Once you understand the real situation, most people can understand the helplessness behind it. It's hard for people who are pretending. I hope someone can help you take off the disguise and face it with your true self.

Maybe my true self is too strong, and I am afraid of being stumbling upon others’ jealousy. Big trees attract the wind. People who are too flamboyant can easily bring unnecessary trouble to themselves and destroy interpersonal relationships. It is better to curb their own light and make themselves appear harmless, so as to win more love.

Maybe the real self is not so lovable, and I am afraid of being isolated by others. In fact, I am very quiet and don't like to talk, but I am afraid that I will be isolated from others, so I have to communicate with others more. In fact, I am not that diligent, but in order to please others, I have to become diligent.

Maybe my true self is too unique and I am afraid of being preached to by others. If you are a non-marriage person or a homosexual, you are afraid of being judged everywhere, so you have to hide your true thoughts and rent a friend to go home for the New Year.

White lies are actually a phenomenon of protecting others. In order for others to feel at ease and happy, they sacrifice their true thoughts to protect others.

So in fact, no one likes to wrong themselves to pretend. They all have their own difficulties and have to hide themselves to make themselves better and make the people around them live better. Only by truly understanding the other person can you see their heart. Once you understand the real situation, most people can understand the helplessness behind it. It's hard for people who are pretending. I hope someone can help you take off the disguise and face it with your true self.