The Chinese New Year is coming soon. Every time you take your children to visit relatives and friends, and a group of children get together, have you noticed that some children can always play together easily. They are good at interacting with others and are very popular with their peers.

But some children are always silent and playing alone next to them, which looks very pitiful.

Although children have different personalities, it is still important to deliberately cultivate children's ability to interact with others at the age of 3-6, which is the kindergarten stage.

Speaking more broadly, children can learn how to deal with different people and how to use their brains to solve problems while playing and interacting with children, and they can also understand the importance of sharing, helping, and understanding others.

In the long run, children who can make friends will be more popular with their classmates and teachers. This can help them improve their self-confidence, adapt to school life faster, and devote more energy and energy to learning.

In the past two years, we have often seen incidents of campus bullying on TV and in the media. When you see those poor children being bullied in the news, are you worried that your children will also be bullied and isolated by their classmates somewhere in the school?

Psychologists have discovered that children are wired to treat different people in different ways.

When meeting children who love sharing and are friendly to others, children will get close to them and like to play with them.

When encountering a child who loves to hit others and has a domineering personality, the children will reject him and stay away from him.

When you encounter those shy children who always stay alone in the corner, although they have not done anything bad and are not as annoying as overbearing children, most children will not take the initiative. Looking for him to play with, more often than not, everyone will choose to ignore him.

This is why children who are withdrawn, weak, and always keep to themselves are more likely to be bullied.

Therefore, if you want to protect your children from bullying, it is very important to help them develop interpersonal skills from an early age.

Having a few good friends can not only make your child's time at school happier, but also serve as a protective umbrella against bullying at critical moments.

Below, Xiaoxian’s mother will share with you 3 ways to improve social skills so that your children can easily become popular. 01 Create conditions for children and have more contact with children

If you want your children to be good at making friends, you must first create conditions for them to interact with others.

For a child who always stays at home and rarely has contact with children, no matter how many communication skills are instilled in him, he will not be able to learn it.

We can often take our children to the homes of friends and relatives. This not only allows them to play more with other children, but parents can also take the opportunity to show them how to say hello, how to share, and how to help others.

After the child enters kindergarten, he gets along with his classmates day and night every day. We can talk to him more, "Which child do you like the most and what do you like to play most together?" If you have the opportunity, you can also Invite the children to your home to play.

I believe many parents can do this by creating conditions. But one mistake we can easily make is forcing our children to play together.

"Come on and play with your little brother. Why don't you talk? Share your favorite car with your brother."

Once in this process, we have too many Too much coercion will make children prone to fear and rejection, which will be self-defeating.

In fact, as children grow older, there is a development pattern for children's relationship.

In the beginning, the child will play alone. When he gets older, he will pay attention to what others are doing when playing, and then imitate playing with the same toys.

Later, the children would exchange sentences and help each other.

When it reaches the most advanced stage, everyone will discuss together and cooperate to play games.

The younger the child is and the less contact he has with his peers, the more likely he is to just play by himself.

Parents don’t need to worry. We just need to create a good environment so that the child can often have opportunities to contact other children. He will naturally accumulate experience and increase communication with other children.

Let’s just wait for the flowers to bloom. 02 Let children learn to share

Sharing is the lubricant of interpersonal communication. Children who love sharing are always more likely to make friends and gain the favor of others.

This is also supported by psychology. There is a famous law in psychology called the "Law of Reciprocity."

To put it simply, after we give others some small favors, the other party will feel psychologically indebted to us, so they always want to find opportunities to do something to "compensate us".

For example, after the New Year, a colleague brings you some specialties from his hometown. In addition to expressing your gratitude, you will definitely pay special attention to see if there is anything you can send back to this colleague. After going back and forth, you, who were still strangers at first, may become very familiar with each other.

In the circle of children, the "law of reciprocity" also applies. This is why many parents are keen on teaching their children to share.

However, just like the previous creation of conditions, when we teach children to share, it is easy to use too much force and turn encouraging sharing into "robbing children of things."

I once saw a mother in the community snatch the candy from her child and give it to other children just to save face. As a result, the child cried. Not only did the mother not offer any words of comfort, she even blamed the child for being "stingy and ignorant."

This kind of "forced sharing" that ignores children's feelings will only make children feel insecure and make them work harder to protect their own things in the future.

Regarding how to share, the following four points are very important.

Don’t force, respect your child’s wishes.

Encourage children to share in a way they can understand, such as letting them play together and take turns.

Give your children the right to decide.

He can decide to share the less important things, or he can decide to share some or all of them.

Let your children stick to the bottom line and not blindly share or tolerate. It is best to become a good gentleman.

Due to space reasons, I will not go into details here. If you want to know more about "sharing", you can click on the article below.

Children are stingy and unwilling to share, which may be due to these reasons. Come and see if you are doing it right. 03 Teach children some communication skills

I want to have a happy time with children It is also important to master certain methods and techniques for getting along.

Sometimes, when a child sees other children playing together, he wants to join in, but doesn’t know how to do it. This can easily lead to two consequences.

One is to give up. The more times the child does it, the more likely the child will become more and more silent and gradually avoid playing with others.

The other is to forcefully join in in inappropriate ways, such as grabbing children's toys and pushing people.

This is like some boys in their school days. They clearly have a crush on a girl, but they don't know how to express it. They also use childish bullying methods to attract the girl's attention. The result will only make the other party even more attracted. Hate him.

Next, let’s take a look at some practical communication skills that can be taught to children.

We can intentionally use these techniques when playing games with our children. The more children see them, the more they will transfer these techniques to other scenes for use. Request Strategy

This is also often used when children want to join the game.

Make a request directly to the other party, "Can I play with this? Can I play with you?" Comment strategy

For example, if dad is building blocks and mom wants to play together, She can watch for a while and then comment on her father's work, thus chatting with him.

"What are you building? It's so high. Let me help you build it together."

If Dad says "Okay", Mom will join in smoothly. . Suggested strategies

This method is the same as before. First, observe from the sidelines to see if the children encounter any problems while playing the game, and then use suggestions to find opportunities to join the game.

For example, if children are playing house, there are father, mother, and baby in the game. At this time, the children can make suggestions.

"You still lack a brother, let me be the brother and help take care of the baby." Provide toys

The fourth strategy is to join the game by providing toys.

For example, if a child is playing a cooking game, we can hand it to him a toy he may need.

"Are you cooking? I have a bowl and a spoon here, give them to you."

Using this method to help, children can also join the game smoothly . 04 Popular children are more likely to succeed

The famous interpersonal relationship scientist Carnegie said, "Success comes from 85% of personal connections and 15% of professional knowledge."

In today's world In a rapidly developing society, communication has become more and more convenient, and the importance of relationships has long exceeded capabilities.

Even if a child has good grades, if he is not good at dealing with others, it will be difficult for him to succeed.

Some people may say, "My child is just introverted and can't get along with others."

Indeed, children's personalities are not divided into good and bad. As long as an introverted child does what he is good at, Things can still develop very well.

But if we, as parents, can create an environment for our children when they are young, teach them some methods and techniques for getting along with others, and encourage them to make a few good friends.

Not only can the child adapt to the small society of school more smoothly, but he can also slowly develop an interest and confidence in interacting with others, which is only good for his future development.

It can even be said that the more introverted and shy a child is, the more he or she needs to learn communication skills so as not to waste his strengths in other areas.

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