Dutch parents' methods of educating their children
Dutch mothers seldom take part in work after giving birth to their children. Even strong women will work less and spend more time taking care of their children. Because they understand that what children need most is the company of their parents, and the education that parents love is definitely the best education for their children. Dutch mother is also a well-known part-time champion in the European Union. As far as Dutch women with young children are concerned, 75% of them are champions of part-time jobs in EU countries, only 65,438+00% of them work more than 35 hours a week, and most of them only work 65,438+02-27 hours a week. It seems that Dutch mothers have worked hard for their children. Mothers in the Netherlands have always regarded raising children as an important position. No matter how busy they are, they should accompany their children and never let go of any school activities. Of course, Dutch dad is not to be outdone. They must set aside one day a week to take care of their children all day. In Holland, children are really valued, but in China, there are several families who can do this. In children's world, the happiest thing is to have parents' company, not money.
Walking in the streets of China, I always see children eating junk food. Parents in China always like to take their children to KFC, McDonald's and other places for dinner, which will bring much threat to their children's health. Parents in the Netherlands, for the sake of their children's health, should check the food for their children one by one, including ingredients, such as sugar content, salt content, fat content and so on. And ensure that there are no artificial additives and antibiotics improved. Of course, it can't be said that Chinese mothers don't want to give their children a healthy diet, and food safety in China is also a problem. However, in the Netherlands, food safety is reassuring. Rest assured, the Netherlands, one of the milk source countries, has absolutely guaranteed quality of children's milk powder. One more thing, Dutch children are famous for eating breakfast and nutritious food, which is what we must learn.
Although parents in China don't want to focus on exam-oriented education, in such an environment, teachers in schools have to judge people's thoughts by their grades, which makes parents in China have to pay attention to this issue. Desire for success has become an eternal truth. What Dutch parents advocate is to let their children be themselves, believing that children have their unique ability advantages. I believe that children can cope with difficulties when they encounter setbacks, and will try to solve them first and then guide them, and have been encouraging him instead of educating him by beating and cursing. Don't think that Dutch parents don't put pressure on their children, and their children don't study well and their grades are poor. Such education will make it easier for their children to go to school and get better grades. Moreover, the academic performance of Dutch children has been among the best in the world.
China is too strict in educating children. It may be that there are too many children who have made mistakes in society. In fact, they are too strict, and children are more likely to have extreme ideas and make mistakes. Give children a freedom and let them make friends by themselves. /kloc-you can fall in love freely around 0/6 years old. Of course, these freedoms must be protected. Parents just need to observe and protect, not too dry. If a child plays outside at night and comes home late, his parents must take him home at night and tell him what to pay attention to at an appropriate age. If you were born in China, you will definitely be scolded for coming home late, so your children will complain instead of telling your family many things.
Dutch parents' education on their children's view of money.
? Give you another 42 euros? Sorry, I can't. ?
There are many parents in China, so long as they can, they will never let their children suffer. Even if their children get into trouble, they will not hesitate to use money and their own network to settle their children? Trouble? . However, in the Netherlands, parents rarely use money to help their children solve problems, and more will encourage their children to face difficulties bravely.
My Dutch friend 18-year-old daughter is a freshman. The textbooks of Dutch universities are not compulsory to buy, and students can choose to borrow them from the library. The girl bought this book for the convenience of reviewing, but she lost it a week before the exam. So she decided to borrow books from the library for the exam, but she accidentally missed the borrowing time.
So she asked her father for another 42 euros. After hearing what happened, her father flatly rejected her. His reason for rejecting his daughter is: you lost the book, which is already a half-hearted and irresponsible performance; And you missed the time to borrow books, and once again you were irresponsible and broke your promise. This behavior has happened twice, so you should learn from it and bear the consequences. Do you still want someone to help you clean up the scene?
The child cried that night. However, she quickly pulled herself together and found a solution to the problem: she talked with another classmate with a book and reviewed her lessons together. I think she should remember this experience all her life.
Get a bank card after the baby is born.
Like China people, Dutch people like to save money for financial management. Dutch parents have taken their children with them since they were very young. The first thing after a child is born is to get a bank card for the child.
In banks in the Netherlands, there are many small conference rooms for meeting customers, all of which contain financial toys and tools that children can see at a glance, such as cute classified piggy banks and cartoon-shaped financial toys.
This card can basically be given to children when they are twelve to fourteen years old. Children can freely use the current account to withdraw money or swipe their cards, but the money in the savings account cannot be used without authorization, which not only protects the continuity of financial management, but also allows children to freely control part of the money.
In short, children participate in financial planning very early. Through these exercises, children gradually form some money concepts and learn how to manage money.
It is worth mentioning that Dutch parents put? Charity? Ideas are instilled in children. The child is very compassionate. Of the monthly expenses in their accounts, they always donate voluntarily and regularly, such as donating to African educational institutions 1 euro every month, so that girls can also study. Or donate 50 euro cents to animal protection organizations, so that donkeys in some developing countries can work without burden, and so on.
Let the children make their own activity budget table.
Dutch children don't take family financial support for granted.
For example, since primary school, children in the Netherlands have made their own budgets for celebrations, although teachers and parents will help them make this budget.
Teachers usually assign three groups to do the budget, each group has 2-3 children, and then PK comes up with the most cost-effective budget plan to implement. In order to be selected, the child will make the most cost-effective plan in strict accordance with the activity process. If you need to hire someone to choreograph and move things, children usually ask relatives and friends for help, but don't take the money from home as? Zero cost? . Time spent on friends and relatives, travel expenses will be counted as basic cost investment.
Ask three reasons to have something first.
Dutch parents don't directly associate money with material wealth. If a child sees an expensive thing and wants to buy it, some parents in China will simply refuse it. It's too expensive to buy. ? This way has a drawback, which will make children think that their wishes cannot be realized entirely because of money. This mentality is very unfavorable to their attitude towards life in the future.
Dutch parents mostly discuss with their children the reasons and necessity of owning this thing (such as toys and clothes). They will ask their children:? Why do you like this? Give me three reasons why I want to have it. ?
In this seemingly simple analysis and communication, children will treat this thing more rationally and have a clearer understanding of the necessity of buying. The establishment of this way of thinking and logic can better help children learn to think, examine, analyze and consider, and help them make any decision in the future.
Some childlike children will look at the advertisement and say: Give your girlfriend a diamond ring in the future! ? Some parents in China will immediately say:? If you want to give your girlfriend a diamond ring, you must have money. If you want to make money, you must study hard. ? In this way, before analyzing the nature and necessity of wishes, parents simply associate wishes, money and academic performance.
Dutch parents usually say:? Why diamonds? She may or may not like diamonds. The most important thing to give your girlfriend is to give her something she likes. You should spend time and energy to get to know her, know what she likes, and then give it to her. ?
Obtaining, distributing and managing money through negotiating contracts is the strength of the Dutch, and it also affects all the daily life patterns, thinking habits and education of Dutch children. Dutch people attach great importance to money, but they don't abuse money, don't exaggerate the power of money, and have a peaceful attitude towards money, so children's attitude towards money can naturally be rational.
Dutch families don't encourage their children to study hard.
China's parents often say a word to their children:? Eat a little bitter, and you will become a master? . I think so too.
When I was a doctor in Holland, I thought I should do more chores to earn more achievements, so I kept cleaning the laboratory. Later, the experimental manager thought I liked cleaning the laboratory and said to me, since you like it, it's all yours. ? Only then did I know that I asked for it. Because time and energy are wasted on trivial matters, and even affect learning. Later, I took the initiative to declare to the manager that I didn't like these things either, and let my colleagues take turns cleaning them in the future. Strangely, instead of being unhappy, the manager has become more respectful of me. I gradually realized that it is commendable to fight for one's own interests and resist with reason in a place like the Netherlands that can bear many differences and conflicts. Compared with China people, China people usually expect to pass the exam? Suffering? In exchange for recognition, Europeans and Americans value it more? The ability to negotiate, the courage to resist, and the courage to conflict? If you give them the impression that you are willing to endure hardships, they will only think that you like doing it? Hard work? Let you suffer forever.
After going abroad, no matter at school or in the workplace, I am always surrounded by Dutch people with strong autonomy and subjective initiative. They know their strengths and weaknesses, are firm and agile in teamwork, and work hard for the goals they want to achieve. At first, you will think that they are selfish and strong, but in fact, in the early days of teamwork, everyone has sufficient discussion time to assign tasks and plan responsibilities. At this time, if you don't have a clear idea and strive for it, there is no way. In the future teamwork, you can only do things that others don't want to do but you are not good at, which is both laborious and troublesome.
I remember reading the first master's degree in nutrition in Holland. This is a two-month project. What's the theme? Develop a nutritional product and complete the EU health declaration plan? . The project is too practical and needs a lot of planning and weighing. Without a certain degree of self-awareness and choice, it is difficult for any student to get the best configuration for himself. When I was at my wit's end, Dutch students were already very familiar with it. They have been trained since childhood how to enjoy life and pursue happiness while improving their work and study through negotiation and planning. In class, Dutch students can get tasks that are more conducive to giving full play to their advantages, and get twice the result with half the effort, while I can only stare blankly.
I found that there is a big difference between myself and my Dutch classmates around me, that is, when they have clearly followed the planned life, we are still looking for the direction of life in ignorance. In other words, our choice of life and self-awareness are a big step behind them. When children in the Netherlands are going through a painful and hesitant adolescence, constantly searching for the value of life and asking who they are and what they want, children in China are preparing for round after round of exams. It seems that their goals are clear, but in fact, they don't have a practical life plan, but they just follow their parents' requirements or inertia. Because I didn't have it when I was a kid? Looking up at the stars? In our leisure time, naturally there will be no hesitation and indomitable spirit after thinking, and even many people don't know how to plan themselves. Life? .
After a series of study and adjustment, I finally understand that it is very simple to overcome this dilemma, that is, to constantly know yourself and ask yourself more questions. Why? , complain a few less? With what? Express your position boldly, fight for yourself, know how to resist and defend, and understand the bottom line of compromise and the purpose to be achieved. In this way, you can maintain a strong subjective initiative and achieve the best results in your study and work.
We in China still like to preach? Barrel theory? Tell children that it is not the longest board in the bucket that determines success or failure, but the shortest one. Therefore, no matter how old the child is, parents should constantly urge the child to correct his shortcomings. In this way, if children don't know enough about their strengths, it will be difficult for them to play their strengths. Which is the most typical one? Standard system? If the candidate has? Crappy department? The total score will be greatly affected.
This is not the case in the Netherlands. Whether it is a school exam or a company training, the first thing to ask is what you are good at and what you are particularly interested in. Because they think that training is to make people's good places better, and only by learning what they are good at can people learn quickly and use it well. What about weaknesses and shortcomings? It doesn't matter. Are they all abroad? Teamwork? Where you are not good at, naturally there is another classmate or colleague who is good at complementing you and completing it together. Everyone should give full play to their advantages in order to maximize efficiency. But you should clearly understand your strengths and weaknesses, and clearly explain where you can be independent and where you need support in your study and work. Only in this way can you reduce the pressure of studying and living abroad, not consume energy and stay away from physical and mental fatigue, so as to optimize your ability and manage your time well.
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