as the saying goes, a word can make people laugh, and a word can make people jump. The same sentence, why will it have a completely different effect? It is very simple, because in addition to self-abasement, there is also a speaking skill, and others will be happy when they listen to it. If you speak in an unorganized way, others will jump with anger when they listen to it harshly and annoyingly. Since each of us wants to live in harmony with others, we should try our best to make what we say pleasant to the ear and win the favor of others. So, what can I say to make others happy? Go ahead, don't say that celebrities tell you the opposite-people who like to scold others are not material for making friends. -democritus Scene One evening, it is the time when people get off work and school, and people come and go on the road. Suddenly, at an intersection, Hao Zhenyong, a senior one boy, collided with a young girl by bike, and they fell on the road almost at the same time. The young girl quickly got up and saw that her beautiful skirt was dirty. She immediately became angry with Hao Zhenyong: "What are you doing? Stunned, eyes on the belly button? I won't go home by bike to practice! " Hao Zhenyong's leg was skinned, and the blood was oozing out. He endured the pain and apologized to the young girl: "Sister, I'm really sorry for knocking you down. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." The young girl is adamant: "I'm sorry and it's over?" I didn't see that my skirt was dirty and my car broke down. This is a new one. " Hao Zhenyong followed the girl's words: "Elder sister, I didn't mean that. What do you think? Since your skirt is dirty, I'll send it to the laundry for you to wash it. The car is broken. I'll take it to repair it for you. If it can't be repaired, I'll compensate you. I'm really sorry. " The young girl wanted to vent her anger again, but what Hao Zhenyong said was so pertinent that she was embarrassed to get angry again, so she left the sentence "Pay attention in the future" and pushed the car away. On the surface, Hao Zhenyong showed weakness in front of young girls, but in fact, he made full use of his speaking skills. As we all know, it takes a lot of effort to sail against the current, because there is resistance, while sailing with the current is easy and labor-saving. The same is true of speaking. If you talk head-on, it is obvious that the other party will not give in, on the contrary, it will produce greater resilience and form a needle tip's attitude towards Maimang, and a fierce fight is inevitable. Hao Zhenyong realized this, so he didn't pursue the responsibility of the crash in a tit-for-tat way, but followed the other party's words: You said I couldn't ride a bike, and I didn't refute it; You said the clothes were dirty, so I washed them for you. If you say the car is broken, I'll help you repair it or pay for it. The young girl said in a speech was in a good mood and left without Hao Zhenyong washing clothes and repairing cars. Warm reminders can make people happy; On the contrary, it will make the other person angry. Think about it, don't rush to say that celebrities tell you-think about it before you speak, if there is something inappropriate, or if there is a better way to speak. -Liu Yong Scene 2 Although it is May, the weather is still not fully warming up, and it rains continuously from time to time. Zheng Ruoqi, a liberal arts class in senior three, was unwell due to weather changes and coughed all day. In order to review before the exam, Zheng Ruoqi was reluctant to take time to go to the hospital, but he never thought that coughing loudly in class would have an impact on others' study. One afternoon in the self-study class, a classmate named Zhong Youguo couldn't help it. He asked Zheng Ruoqi with a long face: "Zheng Ruoqi, are you too much?" Coughing so loudly all day is simply a problem for us! " Zheng Ruoqi was not feeling well, and was even more blocked by Zhong Youguo's scolding. He snapped back: "What's wrong with my cough? I don't like to hear you. Don't have long ears. Besides, do you think I love coughing? " The two men were at loggerheads, like two cockfighting cocks, and the atmosphere was extremely tense. Le Taotao, the secretary of the Youth League branch, couldn't sit still. He walked between them and secretly winked at Zhong Youguo. Then he said, "Zhong Youguo, listen to me first. You really wronged Zheng Ruoqi. He is right. No one wants to get sick, and those who get sick suffer the most." Then he turned around and said to Zheng Ruoqi, "Don't worry, don't get angry. In fact, we have all noticed that every time you cough, you cover your mouth with your hands, in order not to make too much noise and affect others, which shows that you are very kind. But even if the voice is very small, everyone can still hear it, and they still feel uneasy for you. We are all good friends and really don't want to see you feel uncomfortable. Let's see a doctor and prescribe some medicine. Otherwise, if it is serious, it will affect your review of the college entrance examination in the future, then it is not worthwhile, is it? " Zheng ruoqi's anger subsided after he said so. As the saying goes, people who can talk want to talk, while those who can't talk scramble to talk. What's the difference between "thinking about talking" and "rushing to talk"? What's the difference? It can be seen from the above situation that "thinking about speaking" means keeping a cool head and thinking more before speaking, thinking about whether something should be said, thinking about how to say it, when and when to say it. And "rushing to say" means thinking before speaking, talking rashly, not talking about the way and not remembering the consequences. "Thinking about saying" is often accurate in terms and proper in ways, so it can be said just right and convincing; And "rushing to say" is often hasty and impulsive, so it is easy to cause adverse consequences. Zhong Youguo didn't think about whether he would hurt others after speaking, intensified contradictions, and rushed to say it. As a result, Zheng Ruoqi's opposition was aroused, which almost provoked an "armed struggle" between the two. In other words, Le Taotao's words are pleasant to the ear, because she spoke in a caring and consultative tone from the perspective of the other party, that is to say, she spoke with her brain, not just her mouth, so she achieved good results. Warm reminder that the spring breeze makes people happy; It's sad to speak hastily and carelessly. Around, don't say what celebrities tell you-sincere and frank attitude should be expressed in a tactful form. -Zhang Wentian Scene The third final exam is approaching, and the students in Class 6, Grade 1 are reviewing their lessons carefully in the classroom. Suddenly, a "clicking" sound sounded one after another, and Li Ranran followed the sound to find the past. It turned out that Xiaojian's feet at the back table were beating the concrete floor rhythmically. Li Ranran was so disturbed by this voice that he couldn't read any more books, so he planned to go over again and again, and bluntly advised him not to make any noise. However, Xiao Jian was a short temper, and if he didn't say it well, he would make a contradiction. What should we do? Li Ranran started the brain machine and finally came up with a good idea. She casually came to Xiao Jian's desk and said with a smile, "Look at your seriousness. Are you tired of learning?" Xiao Jian said, "I'm really a little tired." Li Ranran took the opportunity to say, "Let's mediate. I'll tell you a story. In a university classroom, a girl kept looking back at the boy at the back table. The boy was very happy and surprised, so he half-jokingly asked the girl," Am I handsome? Why do you always look at me? The girl said imploringly, "Big Brother, be kind and stop banging my chair with your feet ..." Xiao Jian was amused by the story, and immediately turned his head and said, "I understand, you advised me not to make a' click' sound again." Li Ranran thumbs up: "Congratulations, you will answer first." Xiao Jian immediately accepted her reminder and never tapped the ground with his feet again. In fact, the enlightenment is to follow a curve and make a detour, rather than to spill the beans-go straight, which is an effective way to criticize, advise and remind others. Before advising Xiao Jian, Li Ranran thought that Xiao Jian was quick-tempered and easily touched by fire, so it was not appropriate to use a straightforward way to persuade him. Therefore, she chose the plot and language in the story to gently remind the other party that "clicking" interfered with others' study. Faced with a kind and implicit reminder, Xiao Jian accepted it happily. On the contrary, if Li Ranran, regardless of the way of speaking, ran to Xiao Jian and bluntly criticized: "Stop knocking, it will affect others' learning." I'm afraid it will have bad consequences-Xiao Jian knows that he is wrong, and he won't willingly bow his head in front of everyone to admit his mistake. On the contrary, he will fight back until the problem is made big. When criticizing, advising and reminding others, outspoken words are often easy to hurt each other's feelings and self-esteem. Therefore, we must pay attention to strategies, bypass the "minefield" and make circuitous progress. Only in this way can we get the best effect of telling the truth when it is least heeded, and making the medicine not bitter, so that others can hear it well. Warm reminder around, winding paths have a good effect; Speak frankly, regardless of the result, the effect is poor.