However, many only children are not good at making friends and don't know how to deal with people. As mothers, we should encourage them to make friends in the right way.
One day, a mother took her second-grade daughter to the community square to play. Several children of eight or nine years old are skipping rope there. The daughter stood by eagerly, and her mother said to her, "Do you want to make friends with them and jump rope together?"
The daughter pursed her lips and whispered, "Yes."
"Then go, you see, how happy they are!"
"But, but, I don't know them."
"Never mind, you can say hello to them first, introduce yourself, and then ask them,' Can I jump rope with you?' I think they will be happy to let you join us. "
"Really? Are they really willing to let me join? "
"It's interesting to have more people to play together. Go! "
So, the daughter did as her mother taught, and they readily agreed. At first, my daughter was a little stiff and playful, but later she became familiar with them and became good friends.
After that, my daughter often met them and went to the community square to play together.
Seeing that her daughter didn't want to make new friends, her mother didn't accuse her, but encouraged her to make friends and taught her how to make friends, so that she could successfully join the game of friends and become friends.
In most cases, children will not take the initiative to make friends, especially young, shy and introverted children. At this time, we can "match the bridge" for them and let them take the initiative to say "Can I play with you", "Can I join your team" and "Do you want to make friends with me". In this way, children can make new friends soon.
It can be said that what kind of friends to make is very important for children. Children in primary school, in particular, have no good ability to judge right from wrong, good from evil. If they don't know how to make friends, it's easy to make friends with bad conduct. He will not only be adversely affected, but even be led astray by his friends.
Therefore, it is necessary to teach children the principle of making friends, let him make friends that are really beneficial to him, and beware of him falling into inappropriate social circles.
Encourage children to make friends.
Children must learn to communicate and make more new friends in order to form a correct concept of making friends, which is a very important lesson for today's children. Therefore, we should encourage children to make friends.
We must first understand why children don't want to make friends and then prescribe the right medicine. For example, some children don't know how to make friends, so we should teach them how to make friends, just like the mother in the above case did; Some children are too shy to make friends, so we should help them. We can make an appointment with friends and neighbors to take our children out to play or eat together, so that we can get to know each other. We can also invite colleagues and their children to our homes. It is easier for him to make friends in a familiar environment.
Understand the stage of children making friends and give guidance.
Chick Robin, a famous American educator, divided the process of children making friends into four overlapping stages. Children at different stages will automatically choose different friends and establish their own circle of friends, and his conditions and principles of making friends will also change with age. Therefore, it is necessary to give children correct guidance according to the different stages of making friends.
The first stage: egocentric stage (3 ~ 7 years old). At this stage, children often regard children who play together or live close together as friends. The friend he finds is useful, that is, the other person has toys he likes or abilities he doesn't have. At this time, we can organize some group activities and invite children with the same interests and hobbies to participate and let them play together.
The second stage: self-satisfaction stage (4 ~ 9 years old). In the process of communication, children at this stage do not make friends because of their own needs. At this stage, once children like to make friends, we should strengthen the value of friends, attach importance to their friendship, and don't deny or slander their friends.
The third stage: the countdown stage (6 ~ 12 years old). Children at this stage are characterized by reciprocity and equality in making friends. Therefore, when judging friends, there is a clear comparison: who did what for whom, hoping to get a return. Because of this relationship, the friendship at this stage is limited to a couple and a small group, generally the same-sex relationship. At this time, we should not just be a bystander, but should teach our children some experience, skills and principles of making friends at an appropriate time.
The fourth stage: intimacy stage (9 ~ 12 years old). At this stage, children maintain a relatively close friendship. They no longer only pay attention to the superficial behavior of their friends, but instead care about their inner quality and happiness. Many psychologists regard this stage as the foundation of all intimate friendships, and think that if children can't find close friends at this stage, they won't find real close partners in teenagers or adults. When a child is in the intimate stage, we should convey correct values to him and encourage the development of his interpersonal relationship.
Don't help children define their circle of friends with their likes and dislikes.
What kind of friends should children make? This is our greatest concern. Many mothers feel that their children are young, lack of life experience and lack the ability to judge right and wrong. They are afraid of making bad friends, so they always interfere with his friends and help him define a circle of friends with their own likes and dislikes.
Indeed, we always hope that children can make friends with classmates who study well, and hope that he can learn from classmates and improve his academic performance. As long as it is found that children make friends with classmates with poor grades, or make friends with naughty, strangely dressed and playful classmates, they will be prevented from interacting with each other. As we all know, when we have too many restrictions on a child's circle of friends, it will lead him to make no friends.
A child's poor academic performance, or being naughty, dressed strangely and fond of playing can only show that he has problems in these aspects, but it does not represent all. He is likely to perform well in other aspects, such as friendliness, thoughtfulness, honesty and trustworthiness, and love of labor. Isn't this worth learning from other children?
Instead of worrying about our children's bad influence, it is better to teach him to distinguish which aspects of his friends are worth learning and which ones must be abandoned. In this way, even if the child makes a friend who is defective in some way, it will not be adversely affected.
If the child has made bad friends, we should not take rough measures to solve it, otherwise it will make him rebellious. We should know the situation first, and then communicate with him with respect and tell him what kind of friends he should make. I'm sure he will judge whether that friend is worth socializing with.
Teach children the criteria for choosing friends.
For primary school students who are not deeply involved in the world, we should consciously teach them the criteria for choosing friends. We should let children make friends with people who are honest, honest and knowledgeable, and don't associate with people with bad morals and bad habits. When children know how to choose friends according to the criteria of "damaging friends" and "benefiting friends", they will naturally not fall into the misunderstanding of communication.