1. Life will make you miserable for a while, and after you adapt, it will make you miserable for the rest of your life.

2. "What were your last words before you died?" "Can you try another doctor? I always feel that I can live."

3. You are the one

Two

It is normal not to meet someone you like when you are in your teens. In the future, you will find that you probably will never meet someone again.

4. Look back when you are scared at night. What is so scary? What if you are not alone?

5. We have such a good relationship, and you take such good care of me, so be it. Whether you are a cow or a horse in the next life - I will pull grass for you to eat.

6. Sure enough, you shouldn’t be too perfunctory when chatting with people. Just now, my roommate mentioned that my girlfriend likes to talk in her sleep. I casually added, “I know,” and now the atmosphere has become very subtle.

Seven. Money is not everything, it is

Nine thousand

Nine hundred

Nine

Nineteen Yes, the only remaining skill is the inability to feel the pain of poverty.

8. Do you know that one day, you will eventually become someone you hate. Reply: To lend you auspicious words, I hate rich people.

9. When I see a beggar shaking money in a bowl at me on the street, I feel like he is showing off his wealth to me.

10. When I was a child, I longed to grow up, but who knew that as soon as I started growing up, I would grow up and gain weight endlessly, and it would feel like the brakes were broken.

Eleven. My life goal is

Three

to own my own house in Beijing when I am ten years old. Now I'm halfway to my goal: I'm

three

ten years old.

12. My wife quarreled with me today and kept scolding me. I really couldn’t stand it anymore. I stood up and pointed at her and yelled: "If I hadn’t seen you beautiful, gentle and kind, .Cute, I broke up with you long ago!" She was scolded and speechless.

13. My friend actually said that I look dark. I slapped him in the face. This was not to protect you secretly!

14. "You and your mother were so poor at the beginning, why did you still give birth to me?" "Oh, I wanted to give birth to a baby and raise it for a few days and sell it, but after raising it, I developed feelings."

15. What should I do if I find that my boyfriend has a Weibo account and follows his ex-girlfriend and beauties from several companies? God replied: Let’s break it up. This man’s IQ is worrying, and it has all been discovered.

16. Living so long seems to be for the sake of practicing

Three things: don’t talk nonsense, don’t spend money randomly, and don’t lose your temper.

Seventeen. The streets are full of beautiful women and ugly men. I suddenly feel very heartbroken. Why don’t I have a girlfriend when I look like this? I'm obviously uglier than them.

18. I hope that others will use these words to humiliate me in my lifetime: How did you become so thin? What's the use of looking good? Don’t you just have some bad money? Isn’t it great to have a good husband?

Nineteen. "Don't just look for someone just because you're single!" "Speak as if you can find someone casually."

20. Girlfriend: Look. Someone else’s boyfriend! They all eat leftover food from their girlfriends! Me: You damn thing, leave it to me!

Twenty-one. My mother always urges me to get married. I said: "Don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me to appear." My mother thought for a while and asked: "The Lord of Hell?"

Twenty-two. A fat man is destined to die, which may be heavier than Mount Tai or heavier than other mountains.

Twenty-three. You are not

a three-year-old child anymore. It is too childish to quarrel to the death when you have disagreements online. Why can't we just have a duel with Pokémon like an adult?

Twenty-four. Although he is young, he is quite heavy. I don’t have much left, but I want to buy a lot. She looks ugly, but I think she is quite beautiful.