A selection of classic jokes, designed to satisfy all kinds of chicken soup for the soul!

1. One day, the dog asked the wolf: Do you have a house and a car? The wolf said no. The dog asked again: Do you have three meals a day and fruit? The wolf said no. Do you have anyone to coax you to play and take you shopping? Wolf said no. The dog said with disdain: You are so incompetent, why do you have nothing! The wolf laughed: I have the personality of not eating shit, I have goals that I chase, I have freedom that you don’t have, I am a lonely wolf, and you are just a A dog who thinks he is happy!

2. The disciple asked the teacher: Can you talk about the strangeness of human beings? The teacher replied: They are eager to grow up, and then lament their lost childhood; they trade health for Money, and soon wanted to use money to restore health. They are anxious about the future, but ignore the happiness of the present. Therefore, they live neither in the present nor in the future. They live as if they would never die. Before dying, it was as if he had never lived.

3. If a drop of ink falls into a glass of clear water, the water will immediately change color and cannot be drunk; if a drop of ink melts into the sea, the sea will still be a blue sea. Why? Because the belly volume of the two is different. The unripe wheat ears stand straight up, while the mature wheat ears hang their heads. Why? Because the portion sizes are different. Tolerating others is magnanimity; humbling oneself is weight; together, it is the quality of a person.

4. Chickens lay eggs and chickens also poop, but you must only eat eggs and not poop. This is true for chickens, and it is true for people as well. Every outstanding person can lay eggs and poop. For example, if he is good at running a company, then you can buy his stocks to make money; as for his nonsense, you don't need to learn from him. The most important thing for you is to eat more eggs, pay less attention to chicken poop, absorb nutrients, and strengthen yourself. Many people don't eat eggs and chase shit all day long. Can you get stronger by eating shit?

5. Master asked: If you want to boil a kettle of water and halfway through lighting the fire you find that there is not enough firewood, what should you do? What should we do? Some disciples said to look for it quickly, some said to borrow it, and some said to buy it. Master said: Why don't you pour out some of the water in the pot? Things in the world will never go as you wish. Only by giving up can you gain.

6. A Harvard survey reported that on average there are only 7 opportunities to determine the direction of life. The interval between two opportunities is about 7 years. They start to appear after about the age of 25, and there will be nothing after the age of 75. Opportunity. Of the seven opportunities in the past 50 years, it was not easy to seize the first one because I was too young; I didn’t have to seize the last one because I was too old. This leaves only 5 opportunities, and two of them will be missed accidentally, so there are actually only 3 opportunities.

7. The old lama said to the young lama: When you came to this world, you were crying, but others were happy; when you left this world, others were crying, but you Very happy. Therefore, death is not sad, and life is not joyful.

8. The old man said to his child: Clench your fists and tell me how it feels. The child clenched his fists: A little tired! The old man: Try to use more force! The child: Even more tired! It's a bit suffocating! Old man: Then let it go! The child breathes a sigh of relief: It feels much more relaxed! Old man: When you feel tired, the tighter you hold on, the more tired you become. Let it go and you will feel more relaxed! How simple. The truth is, it is easy to let go!

9. If you accidentally lost 100 yuan and seemed to have lost it somewhere, would you spend 200 yuan in fares to get the 100 yuan back? A stupid question, but similar things happen constantly in life: being scolded by someone, but spending countless hours feeling sad; getting angry over one thing, not even hesitating to hurt others, not hesitating to spend money, just for revenge; losing someone Love, knowing that everything is irreversible, but still sad for a long time

Specializes in all kinds of chicken soup! It made me laugh

1. You generally don’t meet love around the corner, you only meet love. to beggars.

2. Young people, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have money now. There will be many days without money in the future.

3. After working hard for so long, as long as you have some talent, you should have some success. signs.

4. Many years have passed, and I look back on the college entrance examination. In fact, there is no definition of good or bad. The important thing is that young people get together, take a test, and then decide which city to go to as a purchasing agent.

5. There are some beautiful and educated sisters who originally had the opportunity to marry the second generation of officials and rich people, but many of them are married to those who are good-looking, have high degrees from prestigious schools, have just graduated, work in well-known foreign companies, and work overtime. Attracted by boys who work out late at night. I feel that they are motivated and have potential. Five or six years later, their intestines turned green with regret.

6. Girls are self-aware of warmth and coldness, but they are weak in front of good looks.

7. Every time I see Qiongyou’s diary, my feeling is: If you are so poor, then don’t go out and wander around.

8. Only those who are good-looking can be called foodies, and those who are not good-looking can only be called losers.

9. Another day has passed, how have you been? Are your dreams further away?

10. Do you think that as long as you are beautiful, boys will like you? Do you think that as long as you are beautiful, you will be liked by boys? After you have money, you just post a beautiful girl? Do you think you can find a good job if you are a top student? Let me tell you, these are all true!

11. Don’t worry about things that can’t be solved today. in a hurry. Because it may still not be solved tomorrow.

12. Stop losing weight. You are ugly not just because you are fat.

13. I used to think that people who rely on connections must be very incompetent. After contacting them, I found that they are better than you in everything.

14. Nothing is difficult in the world except for the rich. Birds of a feather flock together and people divide by poverty. Rich people eventually get married. I wish to be a winged bird in heaven, and a rich man on earth.

15. Mom is not talking about you. Look at the person you are looking for. He is so ugly and can’t explain clearly. If I tell others that this is my son-in-law, I will feel embarrassed.

His family has more than one billion.

Of course, people don’t need to live so vainly. Why do they have to care about other people’s opinions? What’s more, love is blind, mom supports you!

16. Lazy It's a good excuse, as if you can really do great things if you work hard.

17. I used to make little money while kneeling, so I imitated those outstanding people and tried to stand up, but in the end I lost my job.

18. The cause of princess disease is no other than being ugly or poor. What about someone who is rich and beautiful but has a bad temper? That kind of thing is a princess, not a disease.

19. My face only needs to be covered in two places to be perfect! One is the right half of my face, and the other is the left half of my face.

20. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of skill. My ability is limited, but my skill is very high. Chicken Soup for the Soul Jokes

Excerpts from the latest Chicken Soup for the Soul Jokes

1. If a person wants to be mediocre, there will be few people in the way; if a person wants to be outstanding, there will be many people in the way. Many mediocre people have harmonious relationships with those around them, while many outstanding people have tense relationships with those around them.

2. All men and women after marriage are overjoyed.

3. Third-rate makeup is makeup for the face; second-rate makeup is spiritual makeup; first-rate makeup is makeup for life.

4. The word crisis, one means danger and the other means opportunity. Don’t give up any effort.

5. It is heroes who show themselves, talents who show themselves, and fools who show themselves.

6. Always consider your lover, be able to withstand your lover’s nagging, and be humble to your lover. A man should be the general manager.

7. In a threesome, there must be my master. In the three swordsmen, there must be one strong person. In a love triangle, there must be one injured.

8. A person's vision has two functions: one is to go outwards to expand the world infinitely broad; the other is to go inward to discover the heart infinitely profoundly.

9. Let go when it’s time to let go. When you tolerate others, you are actually leaving yourself a vast ocean and sky.

10. Acknowledge shortcomings in real life and make up for them through your own efforts.

11. In a sense, what a person has in his heart is what he sees.

12. Most of the confusion is because the vision is not broad enough. How can a frog in a well know what a vast world is?

13. With an optimistic and positive attitude, grasp the appropriateness of interaction with others. , let yourself be a person who makes others happy, let your happy heart become a source of energy like sunshine, radiate and warm others, and let family, friends and even the wider society gain a little reason to be happy from yourself.

14. God is in the sky and holiness is in the earth. This is the personality ideal of the Chinese people: they have an idealistic sky and can fly freely without compromising many rules and obstacles in the real world; they also have the ability to be down-to-earth. , able to expand his behavior on this earth.

15. Chinese philosophy advocates a kind of solemn rationality and gentle and honest beauty.

16. True harmony is not just the harmony between neighbors in a community, nor is it just the harmony between people, it also includes the harmonious and happy growth of all things on the earth. ; People have a kind of reverence, a kind of compliance, and a kind of tacit understanding towards all things in nature.

17. A happy life in the material sense is just an indicator, but the true inner peace and recognition of the government come from faith.

18. Only a truly sage can not be burdened by material life and can always maintain the tranquility and peace of mind.

19. The more fierce the competition, the more you need to adjust your mentality and relationships with others.

20. Caring for others is kindness, and understanding others is wisdom.

Appreciation of the latest Chicken Soup for the Soul jokes

1. The most important person in this world is the person you need to help right now. The most important thing is to do it right away. The most important time is It is now, without any delay.

2. Each of us will inevitably have shortcomings and dissatisfaction in our lives. Maybe we are unable to change this fact, but what we can change is our attitude towards these things. Treat the shortcomings and sufferings in life with a peaceful attitude.

3. If you cry because you miss the sun, you will also miss the stars.

4. The benevolent do not worry, the wise do not be confused, the brave do not fear, inner strength can resolve many regrets in life.

5. To be mentally strong, one prerequisite is to underestimate the gains and losses of things outside oneself.

6. There is a kind of self-confidence and calmness under the control of rationality in his heart. This is because he has a broad mind and lofty ambitions.

7. In fact, it’s like there is half a bottle of wine in front of us. The pessimist says: Why is there only half a bottle of such good wine left? The optimist says: There is still half a bottle of such good wine. !

8. If your heart is open and kind, and you are frank and brave, then you may gain many unexpected things.

9. If you want to be someone who is willing and able to communicate with you, the most important thing is that you have an open mind.

10. Repaying grievance with straightness and repaying kindness with kindness advocates a kind of respect for efficiency and personality in life.

11. If you always follow the king (leader) no matter what, even though it means you are close, you are not far away from incurring humiliation; if you always follow your friends no matter what, even though it looks like Close, but not far away from the two of you.

12. Respect everyone in an equal and rational manner, leaving a little margin and room for each other. The flowers are not fully blooming and the moon is not full. This is the best state in the world. Once the flowers are in full bloom, they will soon wither. Once the moon is full, it will soon be missing.

Although it is not fully opened or fully rounded, it still makes your heart have expectations and longings.

13. Think more, listen more, read more, be cautious in your words and deeds. The advantage of doing this is that you will have less regrets. Before we do something, we must first think about the consequences. When we do things, we must first think from afar and be cautious and cautious in order to avoid harm to others and reduce our own regrets later. Use your brain when speaking and consider the consequences when doing things. This is a very important point in dealing with people.

14. Cultivate yourself with respect, cultivate yourself well, maintain a serious and respectful attitude, cultivate yourself with peace of mind. On the premise of cultivating yourself well, try to make others happy. Self-cultivation is the first prerequisite for being responsible to the country and society. Worry about the world's worries first, and rejoice after the world's happiness. This is a belief, a sentiment, and a social responsibility, but the premise is simple and starts from the feet. Cultivating yourself and cultivating yourself is the starting point.

15. When a person has no worries and fears in his heart, he will naturally reduce his complaints and accusations against the outside world, and also enhance his ability to grasp happiness. And enhancing the ability to grasp happiness is the ultimate goal of learning. .

16. A villain is a person who does not have a big vision and seizes the small advantages in front of him.

17. To build a harmonious society is to harmoniously integrate the different voices of each person into the collective voice. True harmony is a kind of tolerance and integration of others on the premise of insisting on different voices and different viewpoints.

18. The power of a gentleman is always the power of action, not the power of words.

19. We should make friends with people who can improve their moral character, improve their self-cultivation, and enrich your connotation. Make friends who are happy, able to enjoy life, and happy in poverty.

20. The real happiness in life is the happiness of the soul, which sometimes may not be closely related to the external material life. The power of true happiness comes from the richness of the soul, from a kind of education, from the longing for ideals, and also from discussions and exchanges with good friends.

The latest collection of chicken soup jokes for the soul

1. Every adult has his own glory and hidden pain in life. A true good friend should not touch his hidden pain easily.

2. When people are young, they live by addition, but when they reach a certain level, they must learn to live by subtraction. If your mind is filled with gains, you will eventually become tired of them.

3. Choosing a friend is choosing a lifestyle. Cultivating one's own moral character is a prerequisite for making good friends, which is equivalent to opening up the friendliest world to oneself. Can make your life glorious.

4. A person’s ambition is very important and determines the development direction of his life.

5. From today's perspective, a person's development often does not depend on how lofty the ultimate ideal is, but on what kind of starting point there is in front of him. We often don’t lack grand ambitions, but lack the practical path accumulated step by step towards that ambition.

6. A successful career is not necessarily your ideal.

7. When a person does things, he must know what etiquette and shame are, that is, he must restrain himself, have firm and uncompromising standards of life in his heart, and at the same time, he must be useful to society and do things for society.

8. The ideal way is to give us some resources to reserve spiritual happiness.

9. Learn to integrate limited knowledge into your own life. Learn, think, and apply at the same time.

10. Growth is the gradual strengthening of the heart through experience. The so-called return of life is to turn external things into inner strength. 2020 Chicken Soup for the Soul Jokes

Excerpts from 20xx Chicken Soup for the Soul Jokes

1. The real question is not whether your spouse is the best candidate, but whether you are working hard to be the best candidate for your spouse. .

2. The only advantage of telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.

3. You can offend busy people, because they have no time to care about you; you must not offend idle people, because they have time to deal with you.

4. The highest level of eating at a buffet: support the wall to enter and support the wall to exit.

5. If you can't change your appearance, then change your expression.

6. After not seeing lotus flowers for a long time, men began to feel that peonies were beautiful.

7. What is more important than taking a bath or sauna is brainwashing. If you don’t take a bath, you will stink, and if you don’t wash your brain, you will be eliminated by the times.

8. Don’t trust your memories so much. The person in them may not miss you equally.

9. There should be a better way to start the day than waking up the same way every morning.

10. The toad wants to eat the swan meat. Well done, the little thing is ambitious.

11. Wealth is not about having more, but about having less.

12. A hand that wipes away your tears when you fail is more important than countless pairs of hands that only congratulate you when you succeed.

13. One of the signs of maturity is understanding that what happens to you every day means nothing to others.

14. Ordinary people are lost in the present and regret the past, while saints are enlightened in the present and liberated from the future.

15. Abstinence and anger are the way to protect yourself, restraint and tranquility are the way to manage your family, being casual and natural is the way to save trouble, doing good deeds and cultivating the mind are the way to transcend the world. Observe these four methods and the outcome will be smooth.

16. Life is like a play, we get together because of fate. It is not easy to support each other till old age, should we cherish it even more? If you lose your temper over trivial things, why bother thinking about it in retrospect. I don't get angry when others are angry, but when I get angry I have no one to take care of me. If I am so angry, who will be happy? Besides, it is nerve-wracking and laborious. Don't compare neighbors, leave the trivial matters to your children and grandchildren, endure hardships and enjoy life together, gods envy good friends.

17. Forbear what others cannot endure, and what practitioners cannot do. Name: Nobita. Hence the name: Mahavira Hall. That is Buddha.

18. Patience is good, patience is a wonderful treasure. If you can't bear the thought of one day, fighting for victory will cause great harm. If you can't hold back your anger, heart disease will arise, and it will entangle you with suffering all your life. What's the harm in letting people take one step? If you count the blessings, you will have no worries.

19. Hanshan asked Shide: There are people in the world who slander me, bully me, humiliate me, laugh at me, belittle me, tease me, how should I deal with it? Shide said: Just tolerate him, avoid him, tolerate him, and ignore him. In a few years, you will see him.

20. If you endure for a while, the sea will be calm, but if you take a step back, the sea and the sky will be brighter.

Appreciation of 20xx Chicken Soup for the Soul jokes

1. Evil is like a plowshare, and good is like mud. Good people are often bullied by evil people. The plowshares made of iron break down every year, and the fields are not replaced by mud.

2. Qi is an unknown fire, and patience is the enemy of disaster, but leave an inch of land for your descendants to cultivate.

3. How much endurance you can achieve will determine how successful your future career will be.

4. Those who bend themselves will be able to deal with others, but those who are eager to win will inevitably encounter enemies.

5. If you don’t think twice about things, you will always fail. People who can endure a hundred times will have no worries.

6. Not arguing about right and wrong is liberation, patience is wisdom when dealing with troubles, and merit is achieved by doing one's best.

7. Everything is achieved through tolerance. It is better to be able to endure than to be able to argue.

8. Hurtful words are like water covering the ground and are irreversible.

9. Always have good intentions, and always have a good life.

10. Talking more is worse than talking less, and talking less is worse than talking well.

11. To be reasonable, you must be forgiving, and to be upright, you must be peaceful.

12. Don’t be afraid of too many things; just be afraid of too many things.

13. True generosity is to let go of all worries, worries, separations and attachments.

14. Let go of one thought and feel completely at ease.

15. Learning Buddhism means learning to be a human being.

Buddhism is the method to complete the awakening of life, and practice is to correct one's behavior, thoughts and opinions.

16. Choose good people to make friends with, choose good books to read, choose good words to listen to, and choose good deeds to follow.

17. A person’s happiness is not because he has more, but because he cares less.

18. Being angry means punishing yourself for the faults of others. To forgive others is to be kind to yourself.

19. More money may not necessarily bring you more happiness, but more money will bring you troubles. Being poor and enjoying the Tao is truly comfortable, having no worries and caress and being happy and carefree.

20. Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes. Don’t talk about others’ faults in small talk. Being able to suffer is a person with lofty ideals. Being willing to suffer is not an idiot. Only by respecting a gentleman can you show your virtue. Being afraid of villains is not considered incompetent. Taking a step back is the best. Broad, let the three-pointer be calm. If you want to make progress, you need to think about regressing. If you start, think about letting go first. If you are successful, you should not go back to it. There should be room for steps in everything you do. Holding gold is precious, knowing that peace and happiness are worth a thousand gold, thinking twice before things happen, and being patient when angry is the best. Don't be greedy for unexpected wealth. Those who are content will always be happy. If you can handle things in this way, you will be happy and carefree throughout your life.

Collection of 20xx Chicken Soup for the Soul jokes

1. There is no need to ask for merit when doing things, as long as there are no faults, it is merit. There is no need to be virtuous in order to be a human being. It is virtue not to have any resentment.

2. Peace is luck, contentment is blessing, a pure heart is salary, and few desires is longevity.

3. A person’s mind will be narrow if he has many desires, and broad if he has few desires.

4. It is better to be poor and happy than to be rich and worry.

5. It is advisable to retreat first when you are deep in thoughts, and then you can rest when you are very proud.

6. The power cannot be exhausted, the blessings cannot be enjoyed, the advantages cannot be exploited, and the wisdom cannot be exhausted.

7. A drop of water can penetrate a stone, not because of great strength, but because of deep skill.

8. If you don’t do anything frowning in your life, there should be no gnashing of teeth in the world.

9. Make friends with righteous people, and do not make unjust friends. Drink quiet tea, don't be greedy for fancy wine. Open the door of convenience and the mouth of right and wrong.

10. A house with many doors creates wind, and many words lead to disaster. Daily Chicken Soup Jokes for the Soul

Excerpts from Daily Chicken Soup Jokes for the Soul

1. Enemies become comrades mostly for survival, and comrades become enemies mostly for money.

2. Gaining something is low-level happiness, while seeking something is high-level happiness.

3. People in the world take small advantages and take advantage, while people in the world take small advantages and take big losses. Most successful people come from that.

4. If people live by eating, then the food is not called rice, but feed.

5. It is easy for Chinese people to imitate Americans, but it is difficult for Chinese people to imitate Chinese people.

6. The prerequisite for a person's luck is actually his ability to change himself.

7. Human growth requires four aspects of education: parents, teachers, books, and society. Interestingly, the latter always seems to run counter to the first three.

8. Managing your strengths can increase the value of your life; managing your weaknesses can devalue your life.

9. Life is like a green leaf. As time goes by, it slowly turns yellow, but its veins are still clearly visible.

10. It’s easy to make things complicated, but it’s complicated to make things simple.

11. If you are a small grass, even in the best company, you will not grow into a big tree. If this is the case, it is better to go through the wind and rain and cultivate yourself into a precious flower.

12. The 21st century work survival rule is: build a personal brand and turn your name into money.

13. Fear of father is filial piety, fear of wife is love.

14. There are no unqualified students, only unqualified parents.

15. The earth is in motion, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

16. We can hide from everyone, but we cannot hide from a fly. It's often the little things in life that make us unhappy.

17. There is a kind of person who only does two things: he is jealous of you when you succeed; he laughs at you when you fail.

18. Stupid man, stupid woman = marriage; stupid man, smart woman = divorce; smart man, stupid woman = extramarital affair; smart man, smart woman = romantic love.

19. Any fool can seduce a girl; but knowing how to leave her can only be done by a mature man.

20. A person has two eyes, both of which are parallel, so he should look at people equally; his two ears are on both sides, so he should not listen to one side of the story; although a person has only one heart, However, there are two hearts, left and right, so when doing things, you must not only think about yourself, but also think about others.

Daily Chicken Soup Jokes for the Soul

1. A gaffe is to accidentally tell the truth.

2. Sincerity does not mean blaming other people’s shortcomings, but it does mean not complimenting others’ shortcomings.

3. Human nature is greedy, but without greed, society will not progress.

4. Falling in love is missing someone's heart, marriage is tying one's heart, and love is swallowing one's heart.

5. The best offense is to attack yourself.

6. The meaning of life is not to get a good hand, but to play a bad hand.

7. Success is a concept, getting rich is an obligation, and happiness is a right.

8. Competition is actually a kind of friendship. You can improve your intelligence with the help of your opponents. Those who are afraid of competition have already lost to their opponents.

9. Money can help the poor solve problems, but it helps the rich create problems.

10. Investing love in one person is risky; investing love in many people is dangerous.

11. There are only people who can’t figure it out in the world, and there is no impossible road.

12. Real wealth is a way of thinking, not a monthly income number.

13. If a person wants to be mediocre, there will be few obstacles; if a person wants to be outstanding, there will be many obstacles. Many mediocre people have harmonious relationships with those around them, while many outstanding people have tense relationships with those around them.

14. All men and women after marriage are overjoyed.

15. Third-rate makeup is makeup for the face; second-rate makeup is spiritual makeup; first-rate makeup is makeup for life.

16. The word crisis, one means danger and the other means opportunity. Don’t give up any effort.

17. It is the hero who emerges, the talent who emerges, and the fool who emerges.

18. Always think about your lover, stand up to your lover’s nagging, and be humble to your lover. A man should be the general manager.

19. In a threesome, there must be my teacher; among the three swordsmen, there must be one strong; in a love triangle, there must be one injured.

20. A person's vision has two functions: one is to go outwards to expand the world infinitely broad; the other is to go inward to discover the heart infinitely profoundly.

Daily Collection of Chicken Soup Jokes for the Soul

1. Let go when it’s time to let go. When you forgive others, you are actually leaving a brighter future for yourself.

2. Acknowledge the shortcomings in real life and make up for them through your own efforts.

3. In a sense, what a person has in his heart is what he sees.

4. Most of the confusion is because the vision is not broad enough. How can a frog in a well know what the vast world means?

5. With an optimistic and positive attitude, grasp the appropriateness of interaction with others. , let yourself be a person who makes others happy, let your happy heart become a source of energy like sunshine, radiate and warm others, and let family, friends and even the wider society gain a little reason to be happy from yourself.

6. God is in the sky and holiness is in the earth. This is the personality ideal of the Chinese people: they have an idealistic sky and can fly freely without compromising many rules and obstacles in the real world; they also have the ability to be down-to-earth. , able to expand his behavior on this earth.

7. Chinese philosophy advocates a kind of solemn rationality and gentle and honest beauty.

8. True harmony is not just the harmony between neighbors in a community, nor is it just the harmony between people, it also includes the harmonious and happy growth of all things on the earth. ; People have a kind of reverence, a kind of compliance, and a kind of tacit understanding towards all things in nature.

9. A happy life in the material sense is just an indicator, but the true inner peace and recognition of the government come from faith.

10. Only a truly sage can not be burdened by material life and can always maintain the tranquility and peace of mind.