Faced with a newborn child, every parent faces the great responsibility of educating a child. In order to help parents better educate their children, the following is a classic case of educating children that I share with you. I hope it can help you!
Classic cases of educating children
Case 1 : Forced interaction
When my daughter Tongtong was 2 years old, I realized through reading that she should make more friends, so I always pulled her to greet the children with great enthusiasm. But Tongtong didn't like to talk, so I said it for her if she was impatient. If she didn't want to play games, I would join in for her. Tongtong always followed silently. Later, I discovered that when Tongtong was alone, she didn’t know what she was playing with, and she especially cared about whether others regarded her as a friend. After entering kindergarten, she often said she didn't want to go to kindergarten because she didn't have any good friends. I began to realize that my forcing my child to socialize had caused her deep anxiety and insecurity.
I no longer force Tongtong and start taking her out to slowly guide her to play on her own. My transformation has also brought about the transformation of my child. She has become more and more confident, greeting children naturally, and gradually has more friends. This incident made me deeply feel: every child has his own unique personality, and he needs to grow at his own pace. Parents only need to care for him appropriately, rather than interfering or even arranging his life.
Expert comments:
Children are all different. There is no unified standard for education, and it is impossible to find a method suitable for every child from books. Instead of holding books anxiously, parents should squat down and listen to their children. Only by respecting their children can they gain security and confidence and learn to interact naturally.
Case 2: Why not feed it to grandparents?
My nephew is always willing to share with me any good things he has, but my father is quite critical of this: He wants everything. Give it to your aunt, but your grandparents won’t even give it a try, so the child’s pain is in vain. ?Actually, my nephew turns out to be very generous and is willing to share delicious food with his grandparents. But his grandparents often teased him: "Give some delicious food to your grandparents too!" The child's hand immediately passed it over, and they quickly said: "Grandpa and grandma don't eat it, you can eat it yourself!" After a few times, , the child no longer takes it seriously. And when my nephew shared it with me, I would thank him and actually share the food with him. I would also praise his food as delicious, and my nephew would be happy to share it with me. My father even blamed me and said: Why do adults still eat children’s food?
Expert comments:
A child’s heart is simple and beautiful, and he will take the adult world into his own hands. Every request is taken seriously. As an adult, the most important thing is to respect the innocence and beauty of children, rather than teasing children for fun or to express intimacy. Many seemingly funny and unintentional actions towards children in life are actually deep disrespect for children. If you love your child, please treat him as an equal person.
Case 3: Can children who “grow young children” be happy?
For young children who are about to enter elementary school, it is important to develop good study habits, but many parents pay too much attention to it. knowledge and skills. ?Teacher, today you have learned the decomposition of 7, right? Why do your children only know two types when they come back? My friend’s child has learned the decomposition of 13. Is she too stupid? What should I do if she can’t keep up in elementary school? Today I taught her how to recognize clocks and clocks many times, but she didn’t recognize them. I also took a video. See how she behaves like this?!? In the video, the child is lying on the table crying hard. Thinking back to normal times, this little girl would shrink back when she encountered a small difficulty in the class: "Teacher, this is too difficult, I don't want to participate." ?I finally understand that living in such an environment of urgency, anxiety and denial, can children become confident?
Expert comments:
The one who is ahead may not be the best. Early or late should not be the yardstick for a child's growth. No matter how eager parents are to see their children succeed, they should not let comparisons with each other and blindly follow the trend blind them, otherwise it is their children's heart that will be hurt in the end.
Giving your child ample time and space and waiting for him to bloom with a smile is the best love for your child!
Case 4: ?Snail?Take me for a walk
Morning , I urged my son to get up quickly and go to kindergarten as usual, so that he could practice driving. There was an exam the next day. I was so anxious that I found my son holding the toothbrush in his mouth and standing in front of the toy shelf playing with toys. I got so angry that I shouted his name loudly and gave him a hard slap on the butt. My son was frightened by my sudden move. He stood there stupidly, his eyes full of fear, and he still held the unassembled magnetic wand in his hand. After I finished my criticism, my son said timidly: "Mom, I want to make a sunflower. If you make a wish to the sunflower, you will definitely pass the exam tomorrow." ?I was stunned and held him in my arms, speechless.
The pressure of work and life often makes me exhausted physically and mentally, impetuous and anxious, and it is inevitable that I will vent my anger on my son. But my "little snail" calmed my impetuous heart with his love and kindness.
Expert comments:
When children show behavior that does not meet adult expectations, adults often criticize them simply and rudely, or even beat and scold them. This is a great harm to the child. Disrespectful. In fact, if you listen patiently to your child, "Why do you do this?", you will find that what you get in return must be warm and happy love and surprises like "sunflowers".
Case 5: Give the child a happy childhood
Before my daughter Duoduo was born, I started planning her future. She started to learn to read at the age of 7 months. She labeled all the furniture with Chinese characters; she was taught to recite everything from the Three Character Classic, the Thousand Character Classic to Tang poetry, word for word. Duoduo's memory is very good and she can memorize it quickly and accurately. This makes me very proud. But when she was 3 years old, a problem arose: she was too quiet. While other children her age were playing outside, she was reading alone in the corner. This made me start to reflect: Will my haste ruin her supposedly happy childhood? When I was a child, I played happily and carefree with my friends and had close contact with the magical nature? Where is there any early education? What words can I recognize? Am I not very good now?
I decided to change and no longer force Duoduo to learn too much extra knowledge, but Duoduo's grades have always been among the best. Looking at Duoduo's free and happy smiling face every day, I feel extremely contented.
Expert comments:
Childhood has unique and irreplaceable value. However, children often have too many expectations from adults in their childhood. Planning ahead before they are born, teaching literacy and memorizing Tang poems in advance at 7 months of age, and being unable to lose at the starting line means sacrificing the child's happiness and freedom. Fortunately, the mother reflected on her problems in time and gave up decisively, allowing her daughter to return to a happy childhood and grow up healthily.
Suggestions for educating children
1. Listen patiently
When an angry parent faces a child who does not obey discipline, the most direct reaction is usually to curse. . But this doesn't solve the problem at all. The key to disciplining children is to find out the reason why the child made the mistake, start at the source, and eliminate the cause.
At this time, parents should calm down first, be more patient, and ask their children why they did this. When parents focus on understanding their children's thoughts and finding ways to help their children solve problems, they may find that their children's behavior is actually excusable, and they have released a lot of negative emotions.
2. Put down your status
Negotiate with your children. Some parents always like to remain dignified in front of their children and are used to treating their children with a superior-to-subordinate attitude. However, doing so often intensifies conflicts. , told him not to want it but he insisted on it. At this time, parents may wish to put down their posture and not always order their children, but to negotiate with their children. It may be a good way for each of them to take a step back.
For example, when a child wants to jump on the sofa, but the parent has something to think about, you can ask the child to jump on the bed in the bedroom, or ask him to wait for a while before jumping, or wait for the parent to handle the matter. After that, take the children to the park to dance as much as they want.
3. Let the children experience the consequences
If the children always cannot listen to adults, it is useless no matter how much you yell.
So on the premise of ensuring safety and no bad consequences, parents can also let their children learn the taste of "recipients". Through their own practical experience, children will be able to deeply understand how correct and important their parents' teachings are.
4. Reasoning with children In addition to usual warnings, parents should also teach their children certain truths in actual situations.
Let your child have empathy, let him experience it from the perspective of others, and truly understand how his behavior affects others. As for the way to explain the truth, the depth of explanation can be selected according to the age of the child. For particularly young children, storytelling can be used.
5. Give the child another choice. When the child makes a mistake, you don’t just yell at the child and preach the truth, but give the child another choice.
In other words, don’t just say “No”, please point out a possible way for him to take. The brain is like a prairie. There is already a road from A to B. If you don't want him to take this road, you have to hold his hand and take another road that can also lead to B. After walking for a long time, a new road will appear. When the grass is trampled down, a new road is formed, while the old road is not visible for a long time and is covered by the growing grass.
A good way to educate children
1. Always have an appreciative attitude toward children.
In the process of interacting with successful parents, you will feel that their appreciation for their children sometimes makes you moved. For example, outstanding children have their own nicknames at home, and their parents call them by voice From the intonation, you will feel that the nickname belongs exclusively to the parents. It will be overshadowed when others call it. They never reprimand or complain when talking about their children. Even if their children are not outstanding in appearance and sometimes do not do well in exams, they never complain and calmly help their children analyze problems. Appreciation does not mean unrealistic praise and encouragement, but a silent support from the heart, a tacit power. In contact with successful parents, you can feel that parents have an inexhaustible power of appreciation for their children from beginning to end.
2. Strong principles and not easy to change one's opinions due to people and circumstances.
Parents know clearly what their children should and should not do and set rules. It will never change easily. For example, when you should do homework, you must do homework. When you should study, you must study. It will not change just because today is the weekend or today is a special situation. Respect your parents, don't lie, be honest, and don't be lenient if you break the rules. This is the bottom line of being a human being.
3. Be good at running your own family.
A good family atmosphere is the foundation for children’s growth. Looking at the families of successful parents, the family atmosphere is harmonious and warm. There are few disputes between parents, and children feel warm and supported in such a family. Mothers often play a vital role in the family. They keep the home clean and tidy. It doesn’t matter how expensive the clothes or items are, the key is to dress both the children and adults neatly.
4. Be sensible, behave steadily, be simple and low-key.
My parents are very reasonable and considerate. He often has a very eclectic view on issues, is not extreme or stubborn, has a steady manner, speaks elegantly, does not give people a domineering feeling, and rarely shows off his family and income in front of others.
5. Care about but never spoil your children.
They care about their children very much, but they can flatly reject their children's unreasonable demands without regrets, and they will not tolerate the mistakes made by their children.
6. Parents cooperate with each other tacitly.
When it comes to educating children, there should be a tacit understanding of each other. One person who is a good person must be a bad person. Parents should not undermine each other and blame each other. This is a taboo. I have seen it with my own eyes and a child will not listen. The mother's words led to an argument with the mother, and the father severely reprimanded him for such behavior. The child tilted his head and refused to obey, so the father went over and kicked him. The child cried, but the father did not compromise. Seriously point out that his behavior is inappropriate. The mother immediately reasoned with her, and the two of them cooperated tacitly.
Soon the child will no longer be stubborn.
7. Work conscientiously and down-to-earth.
Parents’ attitudes towards life and work will subtly affect their children. Looking at successful parents, they are not only successful in educating their children, but they are also serious and conscientious in their work. He also did a great job in the unit. It can be said that work and life are balanced.
8. Pay attention to children’s learning at regular intervals.
I will spend a certain amount of time every day to pay attention to my children, and I will be able to set the time and place. After my children have finished their homework, they will check it over. If they have time, they will read with their children. Even if they don’t study, they will accompany them. around. They all have their own desks at home, and there is a certain period of time every day that is dedicated to homework and reading. Parents will lower their voices or turn off the TV to avoid affecting their children's learning.
9. Not proficient in the Internet. Except for checking information online, he never spends time online.
It may not be true to believe that most successful parents are not very proficient in the Internet and do not have a good impression of the Internet. It may be that they are usually busy with housework and have no time to surf the Internet. In addition to using the Internet to check corresponding information and complete necessary materials for their work, they rarely use the Internet for recreation, waste time, or play games. In sharp contrast to some parents who go online for entertainment whenever they have free time, children love to play games, and many of them are influenced by their parents.
10. Pay attention to your children’s dietary health and cook well.
They are very concerned about their children’s dietary health. They make reasonable and healthy dietary recipes for their children. They are very clear about those things that contain additives and those things that are not good for their children’s health. Most of the time, they will personally When cooking, I mix meat and vegetables, and rarely buy ready-made dishes. Excellent cooking.
11. Never let your children make friends.
Let your children interact only with children who know each other well. They never make random friends, and it is rare to see them making friends with friends. Their parents strictly limit their children's friendships. Never let your children interact with children who have bad habits and are playful and playful. They let their children associate with the children of colleagues or friends who they know well. The parents of both parties are familiar with each other, so the children are naturally good.
12. Never contact parents who complain.
They are very independent, rarely complain, and can understand others. There is little or no close contact with the parents of the children's classmates, so that the children always maintain a state of "gentlemen's friendship" with their classmates in the class. Always put learning first and never dilute the main task because of other things. Never contact parents who complain, and always maintain a healthy and positive attitude.
13. Strict demands on children.
Strictly speaking, it is not about beating or scolding, but it is about controlling the child's behavior and habits and paying attention to every bit of her. If there are deficiencies, correct them promptly. For example, strictly control children's play time, and be good at work rather than play. This is the unchanging creed of educating children.
14. Understand your children and do not place excessive demands on them.
I evaluate my children very objectively, do not set high expectations, and are not pessimistic. Instead, set goals based on the child's actual abilities. A successful father said, I don’t expect my child to get the first place in the exam. I just want her to strive for the best results through her own efforts. If she doesn’t get into Tsinghua University, she will get into Shandong University. If she doesn’t get into Shandong University, she will get into Shandong University. , it’s also good to take the exam to a local college. As long as she works hard, it will be fine. In fact, this father strives to focus on the process rather than the results.
15. Be a friend of your children and listen to your children.
Successful parents respect their children and listen to their children. Whenever their children talk to them, they will put down their housework and listen carefully. Even if the children talk about trivial things, they are an important part of their lives.
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