"I will travel halfway around the world to be with you."

When Molly told me Aaron's exact words, her face turned red with girlish shyness.

I met Molly at Mr. Gao's company annual meeting last year. She attended as a family member like me.

During the chat, I learned that she is from New Zealand and Aaron is an American. She has worked in New Zealand for less than two years.

"How do you know each other?" I asked.

Suddenly a little embarrassed, she whispered, "We met online."

I understand her embarrassment. After all, online dating is a new thing. What happened to me felt a little out of line. It's like everyone is dressed up at the party, but you show up in a cool swimsuit.

I like Molly. Although she is over 50 years old and speaks peacefully, she looks like a fresh little girl in makeup and can see her inner innocence.

In order to dispel her embarrassment, I immediately said, "What a coincidence! I also met Mr. Gao online! "

She immediately returned to nature and told me the story of her and Aaron.

Molly works as a teacher assistant in a primary school. After her husband died, she registered Facebook to learn about the trend of children growing up and getting married.

The year before last, when sorting out my mother's relics, I found that my mother's birthplace was a small town called "Worth Going" in the United States. Out of missing her mother, she changed her birthplace to the name of the town. Soon, Facebook recommended a group of friends who were "worth visiting". After she joined, she met Aaron.

Aaron was born in that small town, but moved to new york many years ago. He divorced in his early years and all three children have married.

From talking about "worth a visit" to talking about each other's life and hobbies, they met each other late. A few months later, I have reached the point where I don't think about tea and rice for a day.

One day after Christmas, Molly fell asleep on the sofa on the balcony after family reunion. When she woke up, she felt extremely lonely and sent a message to Aaron: "If only you slept on the sofa next to me."

A few days later, Aaron posted a photo of a plane ticket from new york to Oakland on Facebook, and Jasmine said, "I want to travel halfway around the world to come to you."

Then Aaron and Molly met. A few days later, Aaron returned to the United States and found a job in Auckland online to do the aftermath. Two months later, Aaron returned to Auckland and they got married.

Not long ago, I wrote an article about the feelings of watching a drama, saying that the most exciting love story for girls in history is "I want to sleep with you", because "I want to sleep with you" is the most loyal love confession, without any pretense. If you add the following sentence: "sleep all your life", that is the promise of marriage proposal.

Aaron said, "I will travel halfway around the world to be with you." It's a confession of his love.

I don't think Molly needs to be embarrassed at all, because love is the same whether it is online dating or knowing each other in reality.

Compared with lovers who meet in a non-network way (collectively referred to as traditional love way), they just meet in a different way.

02

In my opinion, online dating has an innate advantage, which brings us closer to the core of love pursuit: finding a soul mate.

When you are attracted to a person online, it is often because of a certain point, a certain trait or a certain aspect of him/her.

For example, he is a performer, and her article touches you. He is knowledgeable in some aspects (such as Singularity and Andy in Ode to Joy), and the illustrations she shared are very tasty ... Then you have the desire to communicate with each other, and the two sides have speculative chats, so they can develop their relationship smoothly.

This kind of heart will not be influenced and confused by the other person's background and external conditions (unless the other person is Wang Sicong or "the first beauty" Xiao Yuyao).

The traditional way of love is to look at each other first, and then there is the possibility of further communication. Other people's introductions are generally based on the premise that they are suitable for each other. Father Goethe said: "The beauty of appearance can only please for a while, but the beauty of heart can last for a long time." What you see at first sight will fade in the future, and money and places may change. But attracting your thoughts, hobbies, personal interests, etc. through the Internet is often not so easy to change.

So, don't be surprised: people who meet their partners online and get married will feel happier in marriage than couples who meet offline. This is one of the conclusions drawn by psychological researchers at the University of Chicago after investigating 6,543,809,000 netizens who got married in 2005-2065.438+02.

However, objectively speaking, this advantage is also the disadvantage of online dating: because there is more than one point, one trait and one aspect in a person. As you get to know each other better, you may dislike or even dislike other aspects of him/her (including external aspects).

Therefore, many online romances, especially those in the student period, are mostly fruitless.

Some people talked for a long time and really looked forward to the day when they met, but suddenly they died.

The moment when netizen Xiaolin warmed her heart for Xiao Ni was Xiao Ni's circle of friends because of the heavy snow that day: "It's still full." Not long after, he met Xiao Ni, only to find that her temperament and interest were far from the feeling of chatting online and taking pictures with friends.

There are also two netizens, both of whom are fans of a certain public. Through the messages posted on the wall, they thought it was too loud. However, after chatting in the coffee shop for several hours, the girl found that the other party was just Ye Gong and Long Hao.

Candy's experience became someone else's talk. She met Alex in Sweden, because she was looking for a friend to chat with in English, and later she became a lover. However, when she struggled for the opportunity to join the company group and go to Denmark, Alex didn't want to visit her in neighboring countries, and then she disappeared, leaving a big gap for others to imagine his real life.

Therefore, if you want to harvest a love through online dating, there are several basic points to pay attention to.

One is to have a vision. There are many people and information on the Internet, many of which make you feel excited. But if you really want to find a partner, you should consider whether it fits your life and dreams, not just because the other person has a bright spot. For example, on dating websites, many people's introductions are very eye-catching: they like surfing, traveling and watching the world by cruise. How much time do you have to do this in real life? Also, who will pay for the fun? I don't know if you remember, when I was chatting with Molly, I said that Miss Gao and I also met online. At that time, I saw a lot of self-introduction on the tall. His description is very simple, but it immediately touched me: I like to do some decoration and construction work around the house in my spare time. Isn't this my ideal man? -love your family, be practical and practical. As it turns out, my eyes are good. Miss Gao really has a sense of family responsibility (not "responsibility" in Xie's works), and has treated my children and family as if they were my own family for many years.

The second is to have a normal mind, chat more, know more and fight a protracted war. The so-called feelings that can stand the test of time are true feelings. Tianya netizen Xiao D shared her love process with her Australian husband. She met him online during college and worked together after graduation. They have been friends for five or six years. Finally, the relationship was clarified and they got married soon.

However, in this era of fast food, I also know that lasting ambiguity is difficult to persist, so I have a third point: get into reality as soon as possible. Chatting may only show one aspect, and photos and videos can also be PS, showing only the beautiful side. If you feel good, come out and meet, and then get along in the traditional way.

03

When I first met Mr. Gao, he often told me about his cousin Lang.

Lang's successful online dating story directly triggered Mr. Gao's attempt to find someone online.

Lang is an old game geek. Besides going to work, he stays at home and plays games. Everyone thought he would be single for life until he met Laura in a game forum.

Laura is a Filipino girl who likes playing games in her spare time. When she was young, she was accidentally cheated into pregnancy and had an 8-year-old daughter.

Two people chatted online for more than two years. Lang went to see Laura twice.

I first met Laura a year later, and I went to the Philippines. Isn't it said that traveling can best see a person's true side? Laura and Lang traveled together as guides for two weeks, and their relationship was confirmed.

The second time is to get married. Laura's family gave them a big wedding. Laura's daughter is a flower girl.

Laura came to New Zealand after her marriage and they lived happily together.

However, when their child was two years old, the two divorced.

Lang has always maintained the nature of a game geek, and many things at home fall on Laura. Finally, Laura couldn't stand it anymore and proposed to separate.

In Lang's story, he achieved all the three basic points I mentioned above: a discerning eye knows pearls and a long talk. But he and Laura didn't go too far.

No matter how well you do in love, marriage may fail.

This is no different from a marriage concluded through traditional love.

04

The Internet is rapidly and profoundly changing many aspects of our lives.

In an article predicting new media on the Internet, Gong Haoda V and Cai Tou said, "Choosing to enter social networks is an inevitable choice."

We spend a lot of time online every day, and social networking is also very convenient, which naturally becomes one of the main ways for people to make friends and fall in love.

We often hear examples of online dating being cheated, but because "good things don't go out, bad things become news."

In fact, more and more people around us meet, fall in love and get married through the Internet.

Sleeping with you halfway across the world and sleeping with you halfway across China is both poetic and desirable. However, there is one problem that needs to be overcome, and that is distance.

Because online dating is mostly long-distance dating, the biggest challenge of online dating is long-distance dating.

Solving this problem is related to the sincerity, professional ability, economic ability and the degree of love between the two sides.

Molly and Aaron are both in their fifties. They overcame the distance and came together. I'm really happy for them.

———END——

I'm Irene from Shu Qi Street, and I'm very happy to share my thoughts and feelings with you.