In our daily study, work, and life, we are often inspired and have new insights into certain things or people. At this time, we can record them all in articles. So, how should we write our reflections? Below are the life insights of Hongyan and Lanyan that I compiled for everyone. They are for reference only. You are welcome to read them. Insights on the life of beauties and blue beauties Part 1
The more popular ones nowadays are confidante and confidante. In fact, they refer to confidants of the opposite sex other than the spouse (or prospective spouse).
A confidante is a form of love that is spiritually higher than that of a wife, a kind of ideological lover who cannot live together, a kind of spiritual partner whose soul communication is better than physical communication.
The boy said: "A boy, if there is a girl in his life who loves you forever and a girl who understands you, what more can he ask for?", "Confidantees are all extremely wise. Girls, they know best in their hearts: if a girl wants to stay in a boy’s life forever, she must either be his mother, or be the confidante he will never get.”
Excellent and wise. There must be girls who are strong and independent, and there must also be some who have truly become the confidante of those equally outstanding boys. However, no matter how good a girl is, her heart is still bitter and there is no way to be free and unrestrained. A truly mature and rational boy will not be complacent just because he has such a girl by his side. His heart will feel helpless and helpless because of his deep understanding and sympathy. The reason why they finally chose to be involved with each other as confidants was because of too much helplessness and love.
If a girl can be your best friend, you must remember that she must love you, and you are worthy of love in her heart. No matter how she behaves in front of you, she is still afraid of your pain, afraid of your death, and wishes to hurt you and die for you. And because she knows that she actually does not even have such power, her heart is even more powerful. The ground was crying. If you are lucky enough to have such a girl, you must at least know how to cherish her. Do you understand?
This is why more and more outstanding women finally choose to be alone.
Lanyan confidants are the hardcore brothers and sisters of girls, male brothers and sisters who can talk to each other about their sincere feelings. In the understanding of girls, a close friend is a relationship between a man and a woman that is lighter than feelings, deeper than friendship, and more innocent than a third party. A boy who can be a blue-faced confidant must be the best among boys. A woman who can have a blue-faced confidant must be a considerate and smart woman.
Girls are much simpler than boys when it comes to relationships between men and women. Girls are naturally animals that like to talk. In addition, the complexity of life, the pressure of work competition, and psychological depression are inevitable. Find a Listening to a confidant who truly understands oneself is less of a vanity than talking to a girlfriend; he can act coquettishly and be tolerant if he does some wrong things, and just treat him as his natal brother. , compared with lovers, there are less emotional entanglements and unavoidable pain. Therefore, the blue-faced confidant is of course a part of the comfort in the modern fast-paced life. The now popular blue-faced confidant is to go down to the girl's soul. drizzle.
The most qualified blue-faced confidant in the eyes of girls:
He has a good harvest and can share a 50-50 split with girls in coffee bars or bars. Girls do not like the blue-faced confidant and owe him no love. ; A boy with absolutely noble qualities and absolutely single-minded feelings can ensure that a close friend will not deteriorate in the relationship; no one wants a boy who has extensive knowledge and makes people empty out their stomachs after just two chats. Continue to be with him, let alone be Lanyan's confidant; he has good communication and understanding abilities, is good at tolerance, and can get into the heart of girls.
If you choose an unmarried boy as your confidant, then he must be mature and steady, able to read all the complicated things in the world, and know how to share happiness and resolve suffering with others. For a married boy to be a confidant, the previous conditions must be met, and a stable and perfect marriage is the most important prerequisite.
What girls look for in a close friend is different from what boys look for in a confidante. Of course, a boy’s confidante must know each other, and more importantly, boys also long for a sweetheart.
Girls have no such desire for Lan Yan's confidant. Emotionally pure, she is a bit like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in the fairy tale. They can hold hands and dance in the forest, but there is no connection between their fingers. Convey any complex feelings between men and women.
In my opinion, whether it is a close friend or a close friend, these are things we can encounter but cannot seek. If you meet someone by chance, you should grasp it and cherish it; on the contrary, there is no need to search for it deliberately, because it lives in the gap between your spouse and lover, and it is difficult to grasp the sense of proportion, especially for people with poor emotional self-control. Don't take this risk, as it will end up hurting both parties. Life Insights of Hongyan and Lanyan Chapter 2
No one is willing to be lonely, and no one does not long for friendship between the opposite sex. It is more attractive and tense than the friendship between the same sex. You There are many things that cannot be said to the same sex or cannot be understood by the same sex. At this time, if you have a brother or sister of the opposite sex, you can say it to your brother or sister of the opposite sex without any scruples. He will not only understand you, but also comfort you. Caring about you is something brothers and sisters of the same sex simply cannot give you. If you have a brother or sister of the opposite sex, then you should be happy, like rain and dew, moisturizing you every dry season.
Brothers and sisters are naturally different from lovers. The premise for the establishment of a relationship between two people is mutual appreciation and love for each other, and then they step into the ranks of brothers and sisters, but he will not talk about feelings with you. , on any topic except love. He will always be your most intimate brother and sister, the brother and sister of the opposite sex, and the safest brother and sister that outsiders cannot give you.
He appreciates you, he cares about you, just because of his appreciation of you, and you associate with him only because of your trust in him. Knowing him is your safest bottom line. Knowing him is the person who hands you a tissue when you pull away and is scarred.
How many people will envy your pleasure, and how many people will long for this pure and unconventional friendship. However, not everyone will have this kind of love. This kind of love will only collide between you and him who are good. This love will further turn into the worldly love between men and women. This kind of love, if we take a step back, we become ordinary brothers and sisters, even passers-by. Proportion has become the most important dimension in this relationship.
The relationship between a boy and a girl is like climbing a mountain. Standing at the bottom of the mountain, the top of the mountain is full of greenery and dancing orioles. As a result, your desire to climb is greatly increased. Then, you climb to the top of the mountain step by step, regardless of your safety and speed. Finally, you reach the top. The scenery on the top of the mountain is really infinitely perfect. First of all, the endless sky will make your heart intoxicated. Butterflies are flying, birds are chirping, and occasionally there is a wisp of stream, and the sound is lingering with the joy of mountain water. You are drunk, and there is only this infinitely perfect scenery in your heart and eyes, and between your ears and eyes, there are only these sweet sounds and layers of verdant green.
It’s just that you are hungry, this perfection can only give you the enjoyment of your heart, and you grew up eating the fireworks of the world. You are not a fairy, you are not a bird lingering on the flowers, you need the food of the world. Replenish your physical strength and replenish your spirit.
So, you start to go down the mountain. The road down the mountain seems simple, but it is difficult and dangerous every step. First of all, instead of the joy that filled your heart when you went up the mountain, you are only filled with hunger. Your child may be crying for food, and your lover may be in a mess. You fell to the ground with your last step. You and him each returned to their own homes. The long-lost family warmth and affection nourish your soul.
So, you and him gradually faded away. So, you gradually drifted away from him. Therefore, you and him inevitably become passers-by. The most difficult and crucial thing between boys and girls is size. This size is difficult for many people to grasp.
Between boys and girls, if you can't withstand the temptation, if you take that step, unfortunately you will become his lover, if you can't be upgraded to a lover, if your relationship can't go away When you enter a marriage, how much emotion can you have that can withstand the wind, frost, snow and rain? How many tears, loneliness and grievances can you withstand? So, you raise yourself to the top of the mountain, and then you start to face the tears when you go down the mountain. Therefore, you inevitably become passers-by. Although you are crying, even though you are dripping with blood.
Boys and girls - friendship - feelings - lovers - passers-by, this is the formula that thousands of people have walked through with blood and tears.
Either you let yourself become his lover, or all you have to do is keep your heart and be willing to be his ordinary brothers and sisters with only gender differences. It’s just that I have more tolerance, more appreciation, more understanding, and more tolerance than my brothers and sisters of the same sex. If you are wise, you will make yourself the same sex as others, although differences are inevitable. And this subtle difference is the key to the fun of making friends with him. But behind this difference is that you have already regarded him as someone of the same gender as you, so you are happy and you are not in danger.
Lover is always the saddest term in the world. It brings too many tears and too many grievances. How much strength do our weak hearts have to bear it?
Let’s just be brothers and sisters! Brothers and sisters are the best. They have the fun between opposite sexes but don't have the troubles between lovers. If you have this friendship, you will be happy, but you must become very rational. If you take that step, you will become miserable. Bless you for this friendship, and thank you for allowing others to have this joy. Insights on the life of Hong Yan and Lan Yan Chapter 3
There is an inseparable love and affection between men and women. A confidante, what people think of is an informed and intellectual woman, the one that boys dream of. She does not need to be beautiful or smart, but she must have an understanding heart and be able to understand and understand where boys come from. Be able to put forward your own opinions appropriately, be willing to use your own gentleness to soothe the fragile hearts of boys, and be able to maintain enough calmness to make you feel the comparison. A friendship that is more erotic, sharing the joys and sorrows of your work and relationships, but staying outside the restricted area.
Extramarital lovers are girls who have physical relationships outside of marriage. Of course, extramarital lovers are different from mistresses. The reason why they are called lovers is of course that there is a certain emotional component in them. Maybe it is because of the relationship before marriage. An unfinished love affair led to this extramarital affair. Perhaps it was because of an unsatisfactory marriage that she met a close person.
Perhaps they fall in love because of help at work or acquaintances on the Internet. It can be denied that many extramarital lovers evolved from confidants. From spiritual communication to physical entanglement, the distance is actually very close. , the attraction between men and women makes the relationship between red and blue confidants ambiguous. People all have feelings, and it is normal to fall in love because of feelings. They just solve the problems for each other, and slowly start to show love to each other. There are requirements.
However, once there is a physical connection between a man and a woman, many feelings will become very subtle. They will no longer just solve each other's problems, but slowly begin to make demands for each other. Can you tell me whether this is the complex of a confidant or a confidant?
Therefore, if a girl becomes a confidant, she needs to have a decisive mentality. Even if she cannot help but fall in love with the other person, she must maintain a certain distance, and boys are indispensable for their rationality. Don't let the impulse of hormones destroy this hard-won emotion. Physical stimulation is only a temporary pleasure, but spiritual communication is a long-term comfort. In the sea of ??people, you can meet someone who understands yourself and is willing to share your burdens with yourself. It is not easy to be with the opposite sex. If you sublimate it to an extramarital lover, a close friend will no longer be a close friend. Just like a cinnabar mole becomes the blood of a grave, it will lose its touching feeling.
In fact, every couple used to be each other's best friends. It is precisely because love starts from good feelings. When you fall in love with each other, everything is so beautiful. She is gentle and careful, and he is. We are considerate and tolerant, and we are willing to share everything with each other, so we walked hand in hand into the besieged city, only to find that something slowly changed. There are many couples and partners who break up because of understanding. When the distance is close, certain shortcomings will always be exposed. At this time, the desire to communicate will be lost. If we no longer learn and understand to be accommodating and tolerant, the marriage will be in crisis, and the rusty chain will be severed.
Girls are also jealous between men and women. Even if you have only spiritual communication with your beauties, it is not tolerated by girls. Although both of you can deal with this rare opportunity with an open mind. Friendship, but another girl knows her husband better than she does. Such an idea will make a girl feel that her self-esteem has been hurt as a wife, and extramarital lovers are what girls hate deeply. Girls will also have the same intimacy. Thinking about it will make girls burst into anger. Lanyan Zhiji is also very likely to be caused by it. The reason is no less than a kind of revenge caused by hurting self-esteem. It is a physiological need, no one can tell its boundaries.
But even if girls are unwilling to do so, boys are still looking for a confidante who can relieve their mental stress and an extramarital lover who can vent their excess sexual desire, and then use that sentence "The person he loves most is still his wife" is used as an excuse for being restless. In fact, boys have never thought that there will always be times when two people get tired of getting along with each other. The aesthetic fatigue of marriage does not only occur to boys, but also to girls. There are always more sacrifices in marriage and family than boys, but when faced with the helplessness of marriage, girls are not always ready to make a move like boys. Instead, most girls are still dedicated to running this so-called family. Can you tell the difference between a confidant and a confidant? Qingzheng and deputy?
Be it a beautiful girl or a beautiful girl, they are all destined to be just passers-by in boys’ lives. In the end, boys will return to that ordinary marriage. Therefore, as a girl waiting in an ordinary marriage, if she does not break through In principle, we must learn and understand that boys should be allowed to have their own private space, and girls should also be allowed to have their own private space. That is the brother or sister who belongs to you. No matter he (she) is of the same sex or the opposite sex, they also leave a wonderful thing for you. Allow yourself that in addition to the family, you are still an emotional woman or man who knows how to love others and how to understand others better. Love themselves, and as a responsible boy or girl, they will also know what to do and what not to do. This is life, brothers and sisters; can you make it clear? Reflections on the Life of Beauties and Blue Beauties Part 4
In martial arts movies and TV dramas, martial arts masters often talk about "confidantes". A confidant is a close friend, and a beauty is his female friend for men. There is a clear distinction between the female confidant and the person of interest in the world. Because they do what they say they mean.
In the modern version, there are also male friends in women’s lives, who are called “blue-faced confidants”. Singer Chen Qianqian once wrote and sang a song with a very eye-catching title: "Blue Beauty's Confidant". There is a section in the lyrics: "My heart is connected, you understand my thoughts, I understand your secret words, you are special, always in my heart, even if there is no tomorrow, no results, I will not forget, I cannot give up, and no one can replace me."
Some people say: The relationship between opposite sexes is either husband and wife, lovers, or lovers. There is no third way. If there are confidante and confidant in real life, many people will not believe it easily.
Whether you like it, hate it, like it or dislike it, understand it or not understand it, in the Chinese society of the 21st century, there are indeed real friends of the opposite sex. fact. Men and women can interact together. Their relationship is neither lovers, nor husband and wife, nor lovers, but a true friendship. Of course, this kind of friendship is clear. Some are caused by interests and hobbies, some are caused by mutual admiration, some are caused by spiritual complementarity, some are caused by customer and business relationships, some are caused by interactions with classmates and colleagues, etc. etc.
We all have this experience. In interpersonal communication, everyone will meet the opposite sex outside the family (except for utilitarian ones), and may have interactions. No one can predict what will happen. There may be What an ending. Having a good impression of the opposite sex, having emotional communication, and liking to meet for tea, dinner, and chatting are not bad things in themselves. Everyone should enjoy their own mental space. Even in the era of "preferring the grass of socialism to the seedlings of capitalism," the government still left some "private land" for farmers, just how much. It seems that it is normal for men to have several confidants, but it is unfair for women to have several confidants.
Nowadays, many people theoretically discuss the issues of mental and physical infidelity that may arise from contact between opposite sexes, which is also relative to families. We have noticed an interesting phenomenon. In some harmonious families, the man or woman has a confidant outside the home. Everything is normal and healthy, and there will be no cheating, that is, mental and physical problems. betray. In some disharmonious families, even if they have normal interactions with the opposite sex outside, infidelity may occur. This should cause people to think deeply. In fact, the conclusions drawn from theoretical analysis are often very different from the situation in practice.
We should admit that the fourth kind of emotion does exist in modern society. This kind of emotion is not a departure from the concept of family, but on the contrary is a supplement and improvement. We can see around us: many family members interact smoothly and healthily with friends of the opposite sex outside, and there are no negative reactions in the opposite sex circle. It is not difficult to see the broadmindedness and mentality of the parties involved, their legitimate psychological needs, and the integrity of their friends. Naturally, choosing friends of the opposite sex is crucial here. Many people have normal families, and they may meet some people on the road of life, and they may develop into beauties or close friends. Just like communication between people of the same sex, they naturally get to know each other, naturally develop friendship, and naturally become close friends. .
However, it is worth noting that some families themselves have mental or physical problems, and family members need to find sustenance or transfer their feelings outside. This may lead to mental and physical betrayal of the family, and even cheating is expected. things in.
Everything in the world has rules of the game, explicit or implicit. People are alive. How to deal with the emotions of communication with the opposite sex outside of husband and wife, how to deal with and adjust one's own emotional factors, and how to grasp the intimate distance between beauties and blue beauties. This is not a theory that can be logically analyzed, nor is it moral. Programs can predict and control. The key is to be cautious and rational when making friends.
The vast universe, the distant sky, thousands of worlds, are colorful. Life is not a color, life is not a sound, life is not a state, life is not a single line. Life needs the matching of seven colors, life needs the singing of birds, life needs a dynamic world, and life needs variety of style.
O sea, you accommodate hundreds of rivers; O world, you accommodate confidants, and you also accommodate intimate friends. Reflections on the Life of Beauties and Blue Beauties Part 5
I don’t know since when, the term “blue beauty confidant” has been widely used by many women on the Internet. This is a sign, or a flag. "Lanyan Zhiji" was born out of "Double Girl", but from the moment it was born, it has its own distinctive characteristics. It is a correction to people's habit of looking at the world from a man's perspective. It at least makes people understand that women also have thoughts.
For a long time, the term "confidante" has dominated the bipolar world of men and women. It is natural for men to use "confidante" easily: so-and-so is my confidante; for women, if it is not convenient, they have to make do with it: I am so-and-so's confidante! Even the use of words clearly shows the hegemony of men.
I accidentally logged into the Sohu blog "Wen Bo Knowledge Women" and found the selection results of the 107th issue of "My Blue-faced Confidant". I was deeply moved after reading it.
That kind of beauty, the kind of clear and soft words that are like the light of mountains and lakes, the rippling water, the Mae-Mei Luo Shang, and the gorgeous embrace that gives me a lifetime, make people more charming than women. In addition to her beautiful face and graceful figure, she also sees the inner beauty of women - her delicate soul and rich imagination. Everyone knows that external beauty will disappear over time, but inner beauty can last forever.
That light care, that silent tolerance, is like a touch of blue like the sky that dispels the occasional clouds in life. That kind of calmness that "never deliberately create opportunities to meet, just let it happen, like walking on both sides of the railway track, never leave, never cross, never separate, let alone the purpose, just keep walking as long as possible", that kind of calmness The persistence of "carefully guarding the love of a close friend given by God" makes people come to the epiphany of "if we meet on the road of getting to know each other, we will become each other when we care about each other."
Reading such words, it is difficult for you to connect them with those red cats and green dogs that swagger into hotels for prostitution.
Of course, this does not include the collusion between power and profit.
For a long time, women have been living in this world together with men. However, men ignore the existence of women, and women have also been dependent on men for a long time. Men's radar and women's radar are never on the same wavelength. There may still be a long way to go before women truly become an independent group alongside men.
Revealing the blue-faced confidant shows a certain awakening of the female community. Everything is relative. If there is a confidant, there will definitely be a close friend.
Lovers will transcend the barriers of love, but "red and blue confidants" will always live next door to love. They will not knock on the door in the middle of the night, but will walk into your dreams.
Lover is a trademark, something that is recognized; Lover is an advertisement, a signboard used to show off; "Red and Blue Confidants" are collector's editions of famous paintings that neither require recognition nor show off.