The word "love" is no stranger to us. It is a noun in our dictionary. We often define "love" as a feeling, a spiritual intuition, a desire, and a happy experience. It is nothing but everywhere. But is this definition really okay?

In "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", the author Stephen Covey met a man whose married life may not be very happy. The man told Covey that he He and his wife had lost the feeling they had in the past. He was worried that they no longer loved each other and asked Covey if he had any good advice. I believe that many people are familiar with such talk. We often hear or tell others about similar experiences, "We had a fight again yesterday", "Sometimes I want to strangle him to death", "I can't stand this kind of life anymore" , I want a divorce"... Faced with his friend's situation, Covey told him:

"Go and love her."

"But I told you, I don't have that anymore. "I feel it."

"Love her"

"But you don't understand, how can you love without her?"

"Because of this, you I want to love her."

"But I can't."

"Brother, love is a verb, and the feeling of love is the result of action. Do you love her, care about her, take care of her...are you willing to do this?"

Yes, love is not just a noun, it is also a verb. The noun "love" is brought by the verb "love" Come the result. The way Covey tells us is to care about her and take care of her. Maybe we will also think of some ways, such as giving her a gift on her birthday, sending her flowers during the holidays; giving her more hugs and encouragement, taking her to see the world and travel more; making her breakfast , prepare a little surprise for her... But after doing this, can we completely say that this person loves the other person?

Let’s take a look at how Wang Yangming explains love. There is a record of Wang Yangming's statement about filial piety in "Zhuan Xi Lu" - filial piety is also a kind of love, which is expressed in the love of parents. When Wang Yangming answered Zheng Chaoshuo, he said: "If only those etiquettes are performed properly, it would be called the highest good. Even if you are pretending to be an actor and have many gentle and courteous services, and the etiquette is proper, it can also be called the highest good." Love does not lie in the surface of behavior. It does not mean that giving a gift or doing something can be called complete "love". Real love must be found in our hearts.

After Longchang realized Taoism, Wang Yangming put forward the saying that "the heart is the reason". My nature is self-sufficient and I don't seek anything from outside. The specific expression of the theory of "heart is reason" in terms of filial piety (i.e. love) is as follows:

Heavenly principles are the natural laws of the universe. In Wang Yangming's later years, he developed his theory of conscience. Everyone has a conscience, but sometimes the natural principles in our hearts are obscured by selfish desires. Just like the sun in the sky, whether it is sunny or raining, the sun exists, but on rainy days the sun is obscured by dark clouds so that we cannot see it. All we have to do is to use natural principles to eliminate human desires and restore our conscience, and love will naturally appear in our hearts.

The popular understanding of selfish desire is our intention to do something over or under in order to accomplish something. For example, we want to eat when we are hungry. This is a natural desire, but if we have to eat delicacies that are extravagant and wasteful, the key point is that some people do not have the financial ability, then this kind of behavior is excessive and is a human desire. Human desires often appear due to the "will", "must", "solid" and "self" in our hearts, that is, our conjectures, arbitrary absolutes, stubbornness and self-righteousness. Preserving heavenly principles to eliminate human desires means that we should get rid of these thoughts in our hearts and illuminate the conscience in our hearts. When our hearts are pure and pure, we will be filial to our father, loyal to our king, trustworthy and benevolent to make friends and govern the people, and love to others.

This theory may be difficult to understand based on specific events. A few days ago, a female friend came to me and said that she felt that her husband did not love her enough. I asked her why she felt this way. She felt that her husband did not respect her enough, so I asked her to give specific examples.

The story is very simple. The two had a dispute on the way home after get off work.

Summer is coming. As a woman, spring is the desire to lose weight, just like seeds are eager to be sown in spring, and they will have enough branches and leaves to show in summer. The girl told the boy that I want to lose weight recently and we should go back and buy some vegetables to eat. The boy had a perfunctory attitude and told the girl that the market was closed so late and there was nothing to sell. There was some fruit at home, so let’s eat some fruit.

My friend said, "I just don't like his perfunctory look, he doesn't respect me, and he doesn't love me enough."

"Does he usually have this attitude?" I asked my friend.

"He is not like this usually. He is usually quite enthusiastic."

"Then do you think he has encountered something troublesome?"

"Well... he seemed to be a little unhappy at work that day."

"Just love, love is a verb."

Stories like this often happen around us. Why does this happen? Often we have conflicts with others because we are caught up in human desires. Each of us has our own cognition and our own position. When others behave differently from our position, emotionally unstable people tend to get angry because they have touched my position and I want to Let's fight him to the death in this position. From my friend's point of view, she feels that as her husband, she should respect her, and nothing is as important as her. This is just selfish desire.

The author summarizes the concrete manifestation of heavenly principles in the relationship between husband and wife in one word - harmony. One yin and one yang are called Tao, and yin and yang emphasize harmony, neutralization, integration, and harmony. No matter what happens between husband and wife, they should start from the perspective of "harmony", think more from the perspective of each other, and think more from the perspective of "us" instead of just thinking from the perspective of "me". If we take this as the starting point for everything, our married life will be full of love. When we don't regard love as just a feeling, love will not only appear during our love period. It will no longer be just a feeling that can only be kept fresh for a period of time, but a lifelong experience of happiness.

Love as a verb. This movement is not just action, but what we need to do more is: save "he" and remove "me". Keep this mind at all times and expand it to the end.

As a young disciple of Mr. Wang Yangming, I hope that the Holy Spirit will prosper and everyone can have a happy heart