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Sketch "Local tyrants blind date conference"
Topic "Renovation of Boys' Dormitory" A: I am very interested in dating.

B: Martial arts fantasy is everywhere.

C: Online games are the most enjoyable.

D: I was sleeping during the make-up exam.

A: Life should be happy. Why don't you study all day? Why not find a beautiful lady to have a lovely baby? Dude, tell everyone a piece of good news that is bigger than the sky. My girlfriend came to see me in high school, and now she is downstairs. She really didn't lie to me. I'm leaving. (After a while, he came back crying.)

Oh, what's the matter? I was as happy as a mangy dog when I went out, but when I came back, I became a lost dog.

(See Ignore)

B: Oh, if you are unhappy, just say it to make everyone happy.

She promised to wait for me. She did it. She found someone to wait with.

D: It's windy and raining. I'm waiting for your call back, living for you and dying for you, waiting for you all my life. I ended up waiting for the wrong person. Forget it, don't cry. Besides, you are so ugly that women won't talk to you.

A: I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night, hanging myself with a bottle of sleeping pills and a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. I talk about a world full of love.

B: Come on, come on, don't be such a woman, you will die easily.

A: The greatness of life disappears in the flowers.

C: I really want to despise you on behalf of all homeless people.

A: There are many people who despise me. Who are you?

D: If you want to hang out in the Jianghu, you'd better be single. You haven't heard of it.

A: I'm not single. I want to fall in love and get married.

Marriage is the grave of love. An old man like Jin Yong used this sentence.

A: Although marriage is the grave of love, it is better to be buried underground than to die suddenly in the street. It is great to die for love, so how do you want to die in the future?

B: If I were a kitchen knife, I would cut the wire, and there were sparks and lightning all the way. It's beautiful.

C: My net friend said that if one day I couldn't get over it, she promised to drink medicine, pass a bottle, hang herself by a rope, jump off a building, and send me with a small hand.

D: See you in d:20 years. Send them to the crematorium and burn them all to ashes. You and I are a bunch, and we don't know anyone. All of them are sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.

Come on, fatty, look at you. It will be dark when I wake up. You must die before us.

D: It is said that time slips through your fingers, but I don't know that time is too thin and your fingers are too wide.

B: well, I'm too lazy to talk about you.

D: Don't be lazy with me. I'm too lazy to compare with you.

You said you slept all day. What are the benefits?

I had a dream. In my dream, I dated Liu Yifei, competed with Bruce Lee, and …

What a dream, clown.

Who are you calling a clown?

C: Yo, how dare you, a fat man, say that you are not a clown?

D: don't talk about others. Look at yourself. You sit in front of the computer and play games all day. Look at your eyes. Pandas feel inferior.

C: I have to start from the beginning: I haven't been to an Internet cafe since I came to our college, but it's rain or shine. The computer room is full, and I have members outside the school. That's disgusting. I walked too far outside to surf the internet, and the internet speed of the school was really slow. Now that I have bought a computer, I can't be idle all day.

Did you meet anything interesting on the Internet?

C: Everything on the Internet is so boring, but the experience of a netizen is quite interesting.

What experience?

C: Once my net friend went to see a female net friend whom I had never met. When he was approaching his date, he saw an ugly girl He said to the driver, "See that girl over there?" The driver said, "Yes, just stop there?" "Don't kill her."

B: Look, I told you, you always make virtual worlds online. Realistic things, you can't control. Once you make a mistake, you will regret it for a lifetime, and then look back in a hundred years.

C: Chicken, can't you play nunchakus? You called me, I thought you were lame, and then you hit your head.

Why do you know nunchakus? "Quick use nunchakus, yes, yes, quick use nunchakus, yes, yes.

A: Not to mention you people, our fourth year is quite flexible.

D: Yes, we are all young.

Well, I envy you for knowing me so young.

C: I have a suggestion. Why don't the four of us be teachers once, and each of us will ask a question to test everyone, which can be regarded as an exchange study in different industries in the same field.

A: ok, I'll be a teacher first. What is a mistress?

Mistress, this is just the remainder of division.

A: What's this?

Is that the mistress I dreamed of last night?

A: OK, OK, keep dreaming.

B: You don't know that. Xiao San is a person with certain ideas.

ACD: What do you think?

B: As long as the hoe jumps well, there is no corner that cannot be dug down.

A: That's right. It's so vivid.

It's my turn to be a teacher. Now I am a teacher in a kindergarten. You are all children. I'll give you a question, please answer it positively.

There are no male teachers in our kindergarten.

Cut the crap and treat me like a woman.

ACD: ok.

B: I'll give you a few words. Let's make sentences. The first "Again ... Again ..." You answer first.

My mother is tall, short, fat and thin.

Is your mother a Transformers? You use "look" to make sentences.

C: Look ... What are you looking at? Haven't you seen it?

B: no, d, it's your turn Make a sentence with "sadness".

D: It's a pity that there is a river in front of my house.

B: The teacher is already very sad.

Don't be sad. Now it's my turn to be a teacher. Listen to my question. My father is from Shandong and my mother is from Shanxi. I was born in Sichuan and grew up in Henan. Who am I?

A: Children should be with their fathers. You are from Shandong.

B: No, you don't know that his mother is a tigress and the head of the family. She should be with her mother, from Shanxi.

Captain: What are you talking about there? Of course, you come from the place where you were born. Are you obviously from Sichuan?

D: It's all stupid enough to be wrong.

ABC: Is it from Henan?

D: I'm from China.

C: Forget it. I don't think this method of taking turns as a teacher is good. See what questions you have asked. I'd better tell you a joke I have a classmate named Chen Shui-bian. One day, when he came back from school, he passed a fish shop and saw a sign written by others: "Live fish is six yuan a catty, dead fish is six yuan a catty." He went up and saw that the dead fish had just died and were all fresh. So I bought a dollar. After that, he went to buy it every day, but every time he arrived, he was bought by others and stood there waiting for the fish to die. Once he was impatient with waiting, so he pretended to catch the fish with a spoon and hit the fish on the head with it. The fish seller couldn't stand it any longer, and said beside him, alas, those who buy dead fish don't count.

(ABD doesn't laugh at first, just looks at B indifferently, and then laughs loudly. )

This boy is so stupid. If I were you, I would take out the fish, kiss it and swear to die.

C: Yes, it's strange not to scare the fish to death.

B: In my opinion, take the fish out, throw it on the ground and use nunchakus quickly. ...

C: Are you pounding fish sauce?

If I want to discuss with the fish, let him pretend to sleep. Don't wake up until I buy him.

C: Aren't you afraid that he will dream of kidnapping your mistress for you?

(ABC laughs, E enters the room, the door is unlocked and the door is smoked out. )

E: Just enter the door. It stinks. If there are any survivors in it, let me know. (ABCD covers his mouth and doesn't talk. E came in with a zombie to scare e)

Okay, stop pretending to be a zombie. Look at you. You can't take care of yourself every day Don't you feel empty?

A: No one asked if you were talented, and you were depressed. How can I solve your worries? Only QQ is available.

B: Now that A-stream is rampant all over the world, I am a martial artist and don't want to take part in this mess.

C: The reality is too cruel, but I am a fragile person.

D: People are really tired when they are alive. Better sleep with your head covered.

E: It's all excuses. You waste so much leisure time on boring things and don't do anything meaningful. If all the students are like you, who will realize the dream of a harmonious campus in Zheng Da? Think about it. Who collects garbage every morning, who drives in the hot sun, who does environmental protection on Zheng Da Road and who patrols in the middle of the night.

A: Who snuggles up under the national flag, feeds at the dinner table, plays kissing in the Woods, and sends a telegram at midnight?

Son of a bitch, you're competing with me. Can I give you a zero on this semester's examination?

A: Just kidding. I'm kidding. Monitor, come and tell us about meditation in person. We will reflect. I decided to recite English in the future.

B: I decided to spend my time reading martial arts books on professional books.

I decided to use the computer to learn more useful software.

D: Then I'll sleep less in the future, and sleep at most 18 hours a day.

ABCE: ah ...