First, live in the present.
All you have is now. Inner peace and the effectiveness of our work depend on how we live in the present. No matter what happened yesterday, no matter what will happen tomorrow, you will always live in the present. From this perspective, the secret of happiness and satisfaction is to concentrate wholeheartedly on every minute of the present.
The most wonderful thing about children is that they will be completely immersed in the present. Whether observing beetles, painting, building sand castles or engaging in any activity, they can concentrate.
High school students think: "One day, I will graduate and my life will be better without listening to the teacher's training!" " "After graduation, he felt he had to leave home to find true happiness. After leaving home to enter the university, he secretly decided: "I wish I had a degree!" " "He finally got his diploma, but later he found that happiness can only be achieved if he finds a job.
He found a job, starting at the grass-roots level. Needless to say, happiness is not his turn. Year after year, he kept putting off the date of happiness and peace of mind until he got engaged, got married, bought a house, changed a better job and retired ... Finally, he died before he enjoyed the supreme happiness. He used all his present to plan a bright future that would never come true.
Did you feel sad to hear such a story? Do you know anyone who always leaves happiness to the future? The secret of happiness, to put it bluntly, is simple. Your life must be centered on the present, and we should enjoy happiness in the journey of life, not until the end.
To live in the present is to find pleasure in everything you do now, not just to expect its final result. If you are painting your balcony, every stroke should make you feel happy and help you learn how to do the job well. You should enjoy the breeze blowing on your face, listen to the birds singing in the yard and everything around you.
In order to live in the present, we should expand our senses and experience the beauty of this moment. Every minute, every second, everyone is free to choose whether to really live in the present, absorb everything around him, and let himself be moved and influenced.
Second, don't wait needlessly.
Have you ever had the experience that when you were waiting for a taxi, it just didn't show up? And waiting for other things always seems to be the case. Therefore, there is a saying: "Lift the lid from time to time, and the water won't boil for a long time."
Similarly, sometimes you feel that an expected phone call makes you impatient. After waiting for countless hours, you decided to find something else to do. Sure enough, the telephone rang at once.
In this case, there is a principle that can be handled: "Go back and master your present, don't hold your breath and wait for a miracle." If you tell yourself, "I must have it to be happy and satisfied." Then the chances that you won't get what you want will greatly increase.
If you weren't so worried, your wait would have ended earlier.
Third, be generous.
Forgiving yourself or others is basically a choice to live in the present.
"I will never forgive my mother for this!"
"I cannot forgive myself!" Does this sound familiar? If we refuse to forgive someone, we are actually saying, "I don't want to take action to improve the status quo. I would rather live in the past and blame this result on others (or myself). " To refuse to forgive yourself is to immerse yourself in guilt and bear unnecessary psychological torture.
Forgive others
Some people have the opposite view on forgiveness. They think that if they don't forgive their mother for not being good enough for them, her mother will be in trouble; In fact, mothers will be fine, and the trouble lies in themselves! If you are not lenient to others, you will suffer. And most of the people we convicted had no idea what we were thinking! Sinners still live happily, unaffected by the ups and downs of our inner emotions.
My brother-in-law didn't invite me to the Christmas party, and I refused to forgive him. It's me who suffers. He won't get gastric ulcer, insomnia, anger or bitter taste. I am the one who will have these reactions. No wonder ancient sages advised us: "forgive those who offend us!" " "
Only in this way can we be happy and healthy forever. Hatred is the main cause of illness, because a painful heart can lead to a sick body.
Besides, as long as we believe that others are at fault and they should be responsible for making us happy, we will not be responsible for ourselves. Blaming others won't get you anywhere. From the moment we stop blaming others, we will take improvement actions. Blaming others is an excuse to escape from reality-an excuse not to act.
Choose to forgive, and things will change in a magical track. When we change, others will change with us. We change our attitude towards others, and others will adjust their behavior. When we revise our views on things, others will respond to our new expectations.
Forgive yourself.
It is not easy to forgive others, and it is even harder to forgive yourself. Many people spend their whole lives punishing themselves mentally and physically for some self-righteous shortcomings. Some people overeat, some people deliberately starve, some people drink until they are unconscious, some people deliberately destroy all interpersonal relationships, and some people are poor or sick all their lives. There may be a belief behind all these pains, insisting that "I have done a lot of things I shouldn't have done", "I am guilty" or "I don't deserve health and happiness". You may find that surprisingly, few of them believe that they should live a healthy and happy life.
Fourth, what is happiness?
Lincoln said: "Most people's happiness is determined by themselves." The influence of life experience on happiness is actually far less important than our reaction to events.
When he loses his job, Frey may think it is a good opportunity to try a new job, explore new possibilities and be independent. But his younger brother Bill, under the same circumstances, decided to jump off the 20th floor and get it over with. The situation is exactly the same, one person is in high spirits, but the other person committed suicide! The disaster in one person's eyes is the opportunity in another person's heart.
Happiness is really not that easy. Sometimes it can be regarded as the biggest challenge in life, which requires all determination, perseverance and self-control. Maturity means taking responsibility for your own happiness and focusing on what you have, not what you don't have.
One's thoughts are beyond the control of others, so the feeling of happiness is in one's own hands. People can't force ideas into your mind. To seek happiness, we must concentrate on happy things, but do we often do the opposite? Do we often ignore other people's compliments, but get angry for days because of one or two unpleasant words? If you allow unpleasant experiences or bad words to occupy your mind, you can only bear the consequences yourself. Remember, you are the master of your own thoughts.
Most people only remember good things for a few minutes, but bad things can last for years. They are like garbage collectors, carrying the garbage thrown at them 20 years ago.
Sometimes happiness requires hard work. It's like keeping your home clean and beautiful-you must show good things and throw away rubbish. Happiness is to find the good things in life. Some people see beautiful scenery, while others only see dirty windows. What you see depends on your own thinking.
Verb (abbreviation for verb) perfection and happiness
Unhappy because life did not meet expectations. If we can't meet our own requirements and think that life is not what it should be, we won't be happy. So we will say, "I will be happy no matter what." But life is not so perfect. Anger, frustration, success and failure often occur in life, and it is self-deception to put forward the conditions of happiness.
Circumstances are born from the heart, and happiness depends on yourself. Many people live their lives, as if one day they would arrive at a bus stop called Happiness. They think that one day everything will be completely ideal, and then they can catch their breath and say, "I finally found happiness!" " Therefore, their life can be summarized as "I will be happy as long as I do what I want to do".
Each of us has to make a decision: should we remind ourselves that time is limited every day and make good use of it? Or throw away the present and dream of a better future?
The following passage was written by an 85-year-old gentleman who knew that he would die soon. Worth reading.
"If I could live again, I would try to make more mistakes. I wouldn't pursue perfection so much. I want to rest more and let nature take its course. I won't be as smart as this time. In fact, there are very few things worth haggling over. I'll be crazier and more unhygienic.
You know, I am the kind of person who lives a cautious, sober and rational life hour after hour. Oh, I indulged myself. If I could do it all over again, I would enjoy more such moments-every moment, every minute, every second.
If I could do it all over again, I would walk barefoot in early spring and stay up all night in late autumn. I want to ride more carousels, watch more sunrises and play with more children, as long as my life can start over.
But you know, I can't. "
Life is limited, so we should make good use of it. The old man knows that to live a happier and fuller life, there is no need to change the world. The world is beautiful enough, and what needs to be changed is yourself.
The world is not perfect. The degree of our unhappiness depends on the distance between reality and what they should be. Happiness will be much easier if we don't require everything to be perfect. We just need to decide which direction we prefer. Even if we don't get what we want, we can still be happy. .