How can couples get along without being tired and comfortable?

How can couples get along without getting tired and comfortable? In our lives, we often hear people always complaining about how bad their other spouse is, but Why not think about how to get along so that the relationship between the couple becomes deeper and deeper, so deep that no matter what happens, no one can live without the other. So, how can couples get along without getting tired and comfortable? How couples can get along without getting tired and comfortable 1

1. Respect each other, trust each other and leave a certain amount of space for each other

Mutual respect and trust are the first things that are important for couples to get along. Although they are husband and wife, they are independent individuals. In addition to the common life between husband and wife, they also have their own jobs, social circles, etc. Respect each other, trust each other, leave each other a certain amount of space, and do not inquire too much about privacy, so that the other party can feel respect for each other. On the contrary, there will be a kind of distance that produces a beautiful effect. Not only will the husband and wife get along comfortably, but it will also promote the relationship to a certain extent. The relationship between husband and wife becomes more harmonious.

2. Communication

Communication is the process of transmission and feedback of thoughts and feelings between people. Good communication can make thoughts consistent and feelings smooth. Frequent communication between husband and wife not only shows respect for each other, but also allows them to understand each other's wishes during communication, avoid unnecessary conflicts, help the sublimation of the couple's emotions, and promote the relationship between the couple.

3. Don’t be too serious. There is no need to be competitive in marriage.

In the relationship between husband and wife, the world has concluded: one is strong and the other is weak. Couples who are strong and soft are more comfortable getting along, and the relationship between husband and wife is longer. Because they are too serious, both husband and wife have to fight for the outcome of any matter. After all, this is not conducive to the sublimation of the relationship between husband and wife

And long-term arguments or even quarrels can also lead to a breakdown in the relationship between husband and wife. of rupture. Therefore, if one is strong and the other is weak, one is strong and the other is soft, that is, a husband and wife relationship that is not competitive will be less prone to quarrels and other uncontrollable situations. This is conducive to the sublimation of the relationship between husband and wife, and is also one of the reasons why husband and wife get along comfortably.

4. Discuss the matter as it is, don't settle old scores

The reason why many couples break up is because of "restoring old scores." Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, as long as old scores are raised, a small matter that could have been easily resolved will snowball into something big, leading to constant quarrels. And constantly turning over old scores will make the other party feel psychologically resentful and dissatisfied.

These are one of the main culprits that destroy the comfortable relationship between husband and wife. Discuss the matter as it is, avoid settling old scores, and don't let historical issues cause knots. In this way, some small quarrels will sublimate the emotions between husband and wife and make each other more comfortable with each other.

5. Be brave in expression and encourage first

When love becomes family affection, even if it is taken for granted, don’t forget to express concern appropriately. It doesn't matter if the other person is busy with work and can't help. Make a cup of tea, make a cup of coffee or just listen to him/her quietly. Don't be bored, give him/her a loving hug, say something encouraging, and let him/her know you care or trust him/her.

Or remind the other person to remember to eat when they are busy at work, and not to forget to take medicine when they are sick. Although it is a bit verbose, both men and women are happy to bear the sweet burden. Let the other person feel your care and love at all times, which is also one of the ways for a husband and wife to get along comfortably.

The most comfortable way for a husband and wife to get along is to give each other the greatest respect and trust. Don't get red-faced because of trivial matters, and don't be stingy with trivial care. Husband and wife gain respect and trust from each other, their relationship is sublimated, and they feel comfortable no matter how they get along. How couples can get along without being tired and comfortable 2

"Allow each other private space"

After decades of living together as a couple, there are times when each of us wants to get angry. What should we do? The secret recipe given by Shuichi is to write a small note to the other party and avoid direct confrontation.

"The water was not turned off, so where did it go?"

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"This is for each other's private space. It’s okay if the couple doesn’t have their own private space. With small notes, neither the person giving advice nor the person being advised will feel awkward.”

This old couple’s views on marriage and love are really advanced. Woolen cloth. Don't look down on your grandparents anymore. They are the experts when it comes to relationships between men and women.

Private space not only allows him to have his own hobbies and friends, but more importantly, allows him to have his own face, dignity, small dissatisfaction and small grievances.

Good things should be said in person and immediately; bad things should be waited and thought about before saying. It is easier to use WeChat and small notes to give everyone an emotional buffer space.

My friend Ono got divorced last year because she couldn’t stand her husband nagging her about her little mistakes.

I asked them if they still love each other, and she said: "There should still be love. But I think respect is more important than love to maintain a relationship between husband and wife. He is like a big patriarch, which makes me breathless. I The self-confidence is completely destroyed.

Love without emotional intelligence can destroy a person.

The second secret for men and women to not get tired of getting along is: try to avoid direct conflicts and don’t take the love situation seriously. It becomes a battlefield.

"Don't force each other"

"Don't force each other" is another tacit agreement that Eiko and Shuichi have reached in life.

Shuichi didn’t like to eat vegetables, but Eiko never forced him. She believed that happiness was more important than any healthy diet. As a result, Mr. Shuichi, who didn’t like to eat vegetables, lived to be over eighty years old.

Similarly, Xiu Yi doesn't force Eiko. Eiko is a lover of utensils and especially likes to buy beautiful cups and plates. She already has a lot of them at home. When she sees something she likes, she can't help but say "buy it". ".

Eiko sighed: "Shuichi has never interfered with my freedom. Looking back now, he lets me do whatever I want to do or buy, which is rare. ”

Not forcing the other person is the most advanced way for men and women to get along. It is based on deep trust and understanding. If you feel that you don’t force the other person, he will become a scumbag. You can only say what you want. Marrying is not a human being.

Some people say that when you are in love, you must control him. This is not about finding a partner for yourself, it is purely about finding a son for yourself.

It is the opposite. When you are married, you must ignore him. Let him show his true appearance so that you can observe his cultivation, habits, and self-discipline. Only in this way will you not think that you are marrying a zebra and then find out that he is a monkey.

The third secret for men and women to get along without getting tired: You must make sure that you fall in love with the original person, not the person who has been transformed or faked.

“Know the other person. The bottom line,

Respect the most important thing in the other person’s life”

When he was young, Shuichi liked sailing, which was a very expensive hobby. Eiko actually supported it He. Because he worked very hard, his favorite things were sailing and the sea.

After retiring, Xiuyi sold his house in the city and bought it brick by brick on a piece of land left by his mother in the countryside. Wadi built the current house and vegetable garden because this has always been Eiko's dream.

Shuichi said that he can still play rice cakes in his eighties because he was in good shape due to his love of sailing when he was young.

This is the true harmony of three views. It’s not that I like whatever you like. Men and women are different. Everyone should be themselves, but I won’t dictate your dreams. , and are willing to do their part for it.

“Do you know your partner’s bottom line and the most important thing in life? "Perhaps many people who talk about love cannot answer this question.

What a person values ??is not necessarily what is important in the eyes of the world.

For example, the most important thing to me is eating, but what my Damei doesn’t care about the most is eating.

When I am not at home, he can eat noodles, pickled rice, and soy sauce fried rice. According to the theory of the popular article in WeChat Moments, people who can’t live together can’t live together, so we should have broken up long ago.

The reason why we live well is because he knows that eating is very important to me and is willing to cooperate with me on this matter. He goes out to eat with me and keeps the refrigerator full.

What is Damei’s restricted area? his family. I often complain about my parents’ bad habits, but I always only have good things to say about Damei’s parents, whether in person or in private. Because I know that he abides by traditional Chinese filial piety and his parents are the most important people in his life.

In fact, not being able to eat together, play together, laugh together or even think about being together are all small problems. What really hurts my feelings is that falling in love with you makes the things I value become worthless. ; Because I love you, I will become something else. This is the cancer of marriage.

The fourth secret to keeping men and women together without getting tired: Always have some scruples. Love means letting the other person live out themselves, and at the same time, you should also love the person who lets you live out yourself.

This is the "family flag" painted by Xiu Yi, representing the vegetable garden of Yingzi and Xiu's family. A sweet relationship between the sexes will make people more and more interesting

The story of Eiko and Shuichi was written into a book "Tomorrow will be Koharuhi Kazu". I have read this book twice, and each time I see the greatness of ordinary life.

The most extraordinary thing about this ordinary couple is that they have mastered the real secret of a happy marriage: a sense of proportion.

Love makes people have zero IQ and negative emotional intelligence. They treat each other as private property, speak without thinking, and do things without thinking. Anyway, we are so familiar, so let’s hurt each other.

This kind of willfulness is a small sweetness in love, but it becomes a big tumor in marriage. So you have to remember that couples can be intimate. After becoming a couple, they need to know how to advance and retreat, leaving more personal space and boundaries.

It’s useless to say love with your mouth or with your body. Real love means that I am willing to find my happiness in your fun and my bottom line in your principles;

I would like to respect you as I respect my friends and colleagues. How couples can get along without getting tired and comfortable 3

Stay awake on their own

Do you know what is the scariest thing about getting along between people?

Too deep into the drama.

I thought I had met that irreplaceable person, and I wanted to give everything from my heart and soul to maintain this relationship wholeheartedly. But it is this kind of person who is often hurt the most.

In any relationship, the most miserable person is the one who is not sober.

A distant cousin of mine from my hometown, after graduation, ignored her family’s dissuasion and got a certificate with a college classmate whom she had been dating for less than two years.

She feels that as long as the other person loves her, she does not care about any conditions.

But not long after they got married, their marriage encountered difficulties. Renting houses everywhere, looking for jobs, and all kinds of trivial matters, both of them were tortured to the point of exhaustion.

What was even more unacceptable to her was that her husband actually hid the fact that he was married from his colleagues, flirted with other girls, and did not take her seriously at all.

Being carried away by love eventually led to a failed marriage.

I once read this sentence: The height of life actually depends on how many things you see clearly.

This is a warning to people to stay awake at all times.

There are thousands of trivial things in life, and there are all kinds of people you meet. Only by keeping a clear mind can you not worry about trivial things and live comfortably.

Independent of each other

I remember when I first went to college, I met a very good friend.

We often make appointments to have dinner together, go to the library to read, go sightseeing to nearby tourist attractions, share interesting things about our lives, and our relationship has heated up rapidly.

But as time went by, I slowly discovered some very awkward places.

I don’t know when she started to take my things more easily than her own; every time I chatted on my mobile phone, she would come over and watch; and once she actually asked someone in my name My roommate borrowed a lot of money...

When I mustered up the courage to question her, she said calmly: "Aren't we good friends?"

Yes, we are good friends, but there should also be a sense of boundaries between friends. If you take yourself too seriously and cross that threshold, what awaits you is loss.

A truly good relationship must be independent and free.

Just like the Rene Liu couple I like very much, they did not stick together like many newlyweds after they got married.

Sometimes they go out together, but they go to different cinemas to watch their favorite movies; participating in programs does not necessarily have to be together; even Rene Liu is busy with work and does not go home for a long time, Mr. They rarely take the initiative to contact each other...

In your own space, do what you like without disturbing each other.

Those comfortable relationships mean that you don’t have to work hard to pretend to be perfect in the eyes of others, you can do whatever you want without suppressing yourself.

Getting along is not tiring

Zhang Jiajia once said:

“A comfortable relationship between people can last forever. Even if you don’t talk, you can talk at any time. ”

Chatting with someone you are not tired of getting along with, you can send him a message anytime, anywhere, and you can end the chat anytime, anywhere, without worrying about the silence, even if you two are sitting together. You can go a whole day without speaking.

I used to dislike chatting because I always felt too tired.

I often ran out of topics while chatting, or I suddenly had to deal with something and forgot to reply, and I was embarrassed to mention it afterwards. I missed a lot of good friends, and even doubted myself for a while, and I was very taboo about chatting. .

It wasn’t until later that I met people who really made me feel at ease. Chatting with them allowed me to be completely myself and express my own opinions.

"I want to say many, many things to you, but you are free."

This kind of relationship is truly comfortable. And people who can do this must be particularly strong and warm, and are worth cherishing for a lifetime.

In a person's life, he will meet and lose many people. Don't lose yourself for those who need you to please, and don't be blinded by the complicated world of people.

You have to understand: only be honest with each other and be real and comfortable; only stay awake and never perfunctory; only care for each other and give to each other.

This kind of relationship, this kind of relationship, is the most comfortable and long-lasting!

When you recognize yourself clearly, let go of some people, underestimate some things, and have a higher pattern, your life will naturally broaden.