The best way to talk to people you just know or don't know is to try to change from one topic to another. If one topic doesn't work, try the next one. Or when it's your turn to speak, you can say what you have done or thought, trim the garden, plan a trip or other topics we have already talked about. Don't panic because of a moment's silence, just let it go. Talking is not a race, but rushing to the finish line like running. ?

When you find a stranger sitting next to you at a party, introduce yourself before you start fishing. Then there are various ways to start. If you are a shy person, you can think it over before going to the party. If the hostess tells you something about him, you can say, "I know your team won the final last week." It must be wonderful. If you know nothing about him, you can say, "Do you live in Homeville or are you a tourist?" ? "From his answer, you can expect the beginning of the topic. He may ask where you live and what you do. It's simple, but pay attention to the opportunity to talk to him. ?

Another important opening (and direct) is to ask for advice. For example, you can ask an enthusiastic gardener, "I want to change the annual plants in the garden into perennial plants." What do you suggest? " Or for people who work at home or in an office, you can ask, "I want to buy a fax machine. Do you have any good recommendations? " If there is no response, you can ask his opinion. You can safely ask him/her views on anything: politics, sports, stock market, fashion and local news, which are all ok, but they cannot be asked, strongly opposed or controversial topics. ?

Another topic that can provide a good start at the dinner table is food or wine: "Is it delicious? I don't have time to really cook a good meal in the kitchen. Do you cook by yourself? " Don't avoid the topic. In an election year, "What do you think of the vice presidential candidate?" You can start this topic easily, as long as you remember that your response to the answer is not sarcasm or fierce opposition. ?

★ Negotiation skills?

Negotiation is not only widely used in the commercial field, but also goes deep into all aspects of people's lives. Trade cooperation between countries needs negotiation, and "bargaining" in daily life is also negotiation. It can be said that as long as people communicate with each other, there will be negotiations. Negotiation skills are crucial to the success of negotiations. Some people say that the basis of negotiations is strength. Strength is important, but negotiations with strength may not be successful; Without strength, negotiations will not necessarily fail. This is the role of negotiation skills. ?

Know yourself and yourself. Only on the basis of this preparation can we choose specific and effective negotiation methods, fight back against our opponents and make ourselves invincible. To truly understand the opponent, we must be clear about the opponent's needs, so as to adopt effective means and methods at the negotiating table, which can not only save energy, but also hit the target with one blow. Therefore, before the negotiation, it is very important to know the opponent's information and determine the corresponding negotiation method. ?

Combine rigidity with softness. The hard way. At the beginning of the negotiation, tell your harsh conditions exactly, keep your opponent down in momentum and let him submit. This method is suitable for negotiating with weak opponents and forcing them to make concessions. If the opponent is tough, you might as well use "I want to talk to your boss in person" and "I don't do this business". ?

Soft grinding and hard foaming. When the advantage is not your own, you should firmly believe that time is more important to your opponent than you. No matter how arrogant the opponent's momentum is, he should change with constancy. Keep quiet and let your opponent give full play. Avoid the sharp edge of your opponent and attack when he is exhausted. Hit the cat with the mouse and drag down the opponent. ?

Find out each other's mistakes. From the beginning of preparing for the negotiation, you should devote important energy to discovering the mistakes of your opponent, and exaggerate the harm that such mistakes will or will do to you as much as possible. Always say "I will sue you" and "I will expose you in the media". Create panic for opponents and use their panic to bring them down. ?

win &； Win) is the best result. Set the bottom line before negotiation and leave room for your opponent. In the outcome of the negotiations, the other party should also benefit. ?

★ Compliment?

We all like compliments from others and are grateful for them. So I often wonder why so few people do this. I think sometimes it's because most people are naturally inclined to be private, and some people are shy or embarrassed. At the same time, others just don't pay attention to it or never think how happy a few compliments in a day will make others. But if you are a person who has a hard time saying the highest praise, you don't have to hesitate those "outdated compliments". "I met Ann Tannan yesterday. She told me that you run a great fund-raising department-Parent-Teacher Association. What is the hardest thing to do in this process? In order to lead to the topic, please try to start the topic instead of letting the other person just answer "thank you", "yes" or "no" ?

Please make sure that your compliment is sincere. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once pointed out that "compliment is a finely cut sausage, which tastes delicious;" And touting is a thick sausage that can't be digested. " ?

★ How to speak?

Talking with strangers is one of the most important steps in interpersonal communication. Handling this step well can make people make many interesting friends. Improper handling will cause embarrassment and lose many opportunities. ?

Talk to strangers and find common ground. How to find the similarities between * * *? ?

Keep an eye on it

A person's mood, mental state and living habits can be seen from his clothes, manners and conversation. Before starting a conversation, look at what the other person has in common with himself. For example, he is wearing a pair of Nike air-cushion sneakers like you, and you can start your conversation with Nike shoes as the topic. ?

Test with words?

The two strangers were relatively speechless. In order to break the silence, we should speak first. We can talk to ourselves, such as "It's too hot". When the other person hears this sentence, he may take the initiative to answer and continue the conversation. ?

You can also start with an action and help the other person do one thing, such as pushing down the suitcase; You can also find the characteristics of the other party's accent and open up the situation of open communication. For example, listen to the other person's Shanghai accent and say, "Are you from Shanghai?" . This topic can be expanded. ?

After talking, the next step is how to have a dialogue. There are the following taboos when talking with westerners on formal occasions: don't talk about money issues such as salary and bank deposits. In western countries, wages are kept secret. In addition, some westerners, especially those with high quality, don't like to make others interested in him because of money. With the increasing commercialization of China society. Wages are no longer the same as in the past. Everyone's salary level is uniform, and how much money others earn can be inferred from their own salary. So I asked, "How much do you earn?" This is very impolite behavior. ?

Don't ask questions like "Are you married?" Or "How old is the child?" ?

The custom of marriage between men and women in contemporary society is changing. Some people choose celibacy, and some families are made up of homosexuals. There are also many single-parent families. Personal marriage and sex life are usually considered to be extremely private. Topics involving privacy will lead to the failure of the conversation. ?

★ Look in your eyes when you talk?

Nothing is more embarrassing than you talking to him and he looks around. Some people look around while talking; And some people look around when they are obedient. Both of these people lack the most basic sense of responsibility, that is, to be a good and attentive listener. When you talk to anyone, pay attention to him or her, not too tightly, but always pay attention, so that your interlocutor will understand that you are not distracted. ?

Never look around the room when others are talking to you. Even if you are listening, don't act bored and uninterested in what is happening around you. If your audience does this, you can stop and watch it with him, just as you are curious about the miracle he found. If he asks what you are doing, you can say, "Oh, I'm interested in what you are looking at." Then continue the conversation and he will understand the hint. ?

★ The great dictator in conversation?

There are such things and people everywhere around us. I hope we're not one of them. ?

It's a good idea to pay attention to what you are saying, such as whether you are a bully, a dictatorship, a opinionated person, and a person who doesn't give others a chance to express different opinions. Or pay attention to whether anyone wants to leave when listening to you, or seem to be looking around in despair to find the shortest way to escape. ?

One of the definitions of annoying people is "when you want to tell him about yourself, he only talks about himself." Another annoying person is more accurately described as a person who insists on saying things you don't want to hear at all. He or she insists that you hear the last sentence, although you obviously show impatience. ?

These are all part of your personality, ingrained and impossible to get rid of. If you find yourself dictatorial in the conversation, shut up and listen carefully in the next conversation, no matter what you have to say. If you are afraid that you will be bored, try reading newspapers or magazines and find an interesting topic to study, such as environmental protection, which is definitely a concern of everyone. Your rich knowledge will not only make you join the conversation, but also convey interesting information. ?

If someone repeats a story that you have heard at least twice, you can say, "Oh, by the way, I remember how you made everyone fall back when that person fell.". You must have saved his life. "Then change the subject. If you are a member of a conversation and someone is repeating a story, you can leave quietly, or if someone notices, you can say, "Oh, I know this. Sorry, I'll be right back. " Then leave. ?

★ How to answer personal questions? ?

If you are asked about the price of new clothes, you have no obligation to provide him with relevant information unless you are very close. Just answer "I don't know (or remember) how much it cost." Inquiries about money are usually inappropriate and should be ignored. You can't say, "It's none of your business." But you can say, "If you don't mind, I won't say it. About the cost of living, it's too depressing ... "Then change the subject. ?

Another question similar to snooping is "What do you do?" . It is best to ask about the other person's work after the other person points out the knowledge field, or when the conversation is a special topic related to work. Then, you can ask, "Do you work in this field?" . ?

★ When will you shut up?

Don't regret not saying it. "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let others think you are a fool than to open your mouth and say everything." Don't pretend to know everything. Really smart people never hesitate to say "I don't know". ?

People who talk casually often talk too much, which sometimes leads to carelessness. People with rich imagination are always unreliable. On the other hand, a person who always keeps silent often dresses appropriately among close people, but he or she will not add attraction to the party. In conversation, the golden mean is always the best, just like many things. You should know when to listen to others and when to talk to yourself. ?

Don't tell yourself over and over again, whether it's the same story over and over again or the details that sound interesting. Many things are interesting simply or for the first time, but there is nothing worth repeating. ?

★ Think twice before you speak?

Almost all mistakes or mistakes in conversation are caused by no serious consideration or thoughtlessness. For example, if a computer programmer and a literature professor have dinner together, and the computer programmer can only speak technical programming languages and can't say anything else, it will be a very thoughtless conversation. Because, even at work, not everyone wants to hear a long speech about any topic. ?

In most cases, no one reminds us to speak thoughtlessly and thoughtlessly. As long as we pay attention to what we say and the other person's reaction, we can find our shortcomings. Think twice before you speak is our own business. Dorothy Sanov said, "I" is the smallest letter. Don't regard it as the most important word in your conversation. For example, when talking to people, don't say what I think, but what do you think? "。 ?

★ Why don't you talk?

Facing a braggart?

A good talker won't brag endlessly about how well others do their work or how good his son is. When the conversation falls into flattery, politely add your own comments and try to change the subject. If he tells you his own sensational story, the best way is to find a reason to leave as soon as possible, unless you are interested in his speech. ?

CEST's life! ?

Borrowing idioms from other languages to embellish conversations is artificial, unless you often speak this language, or what you want to say has no absolute equivalence or translation in Chinese, or this idiom has been widely used and circulated. ?

If others say words or idioms that are obviously foreign words, try not to pay attention to them, unless you are very interested and don't know what it means, and want to stop and ask, "What does it mean?" . ?

"How old are you?" How old are you? )?

Many people don't like being asked their age, which is an thoughtless question. However, this question is often asked and there are many ways to avoid it. You can say, "Oh! Big enough. " You can also tell him a general age, such as he is over 21, or use a number you like, "29 (or 39, 49, etc.). ) and is saving. " If someone insists on asking, "Oh, go ahead." Tell him, "Obviously, I don't want to tell you. Do you need to know? " ?

Facing insults?

What should you say if someone slanders a group, an individual or a country in front of you? Tell him sincerely that his remarks are disgusting and don't want to hear such words again, and then walk away. Or you can say, "Let's not talk about this topic." Then start another topic. Every time you engage in moral, racial or other personal derogatory talk, whether those comments are really derogatory or joking, you are exercising your endurance. ?

★ The secret of China's gift?

1. Light ceremony and heavy affection?

Gifts should consider specific situations and occasions. Generally, when you go to a private family for dinner, you should bring some small gifts to the hostess, such as bouquets, fruits, local products and so on. If you have children, you can send toys and candy. Invited to the wedding, in addition to artistic decorations, you can also send bouquets and practical items. In New Year and Christmas, calendars, wine, tea, candy, cigarettes and so on can usually be given away. ?

2. Grasp the timing and method of giving gifts?

Gifts should generally be delivered in person. But sometimes you can attend the wedding and send it in advance. Celebrating festivals and giving annual gifts can be delivered to your door or mailed. At this time, the business card of the giver should be attached to the gift, or the congratulatory message can be handwritten and packed in an envelope of the same size. The recipient's name should be marked on the envelope and pasted on the top of the gift package. ?

Usually, it is not appropriate for people to give gifts to only one person in a group. Because the recipient will feel fooled by accepting bribes, and it will make the person who confiscated the gift feel left out and despised. Don't give gifts to close people in public, so as not to give the public a feeling that your close relationship is completely supported by material things. Only special gifts that are light in ceremony and heavy in righteousness and express special feelings are suitable for giving in public. Because at this time, the public has become the witness of your sincere friendship. Like a special souvenir. ?

3. Be friendly and trustworthy?

Pay attention to attitude, action and language expression when giving gifts. Peaceful, friendly, natural and elegant movements accompanied by polite language expressions are acceptable to the receiver. The practice of quietly putting gifts under the table or in the corner of the room like thieves not only fails to achieve the purpose of giving gifts, but even backfires. Generally speaking, in our country, when giving gifts, I always say too modestly, "Little gift! A small gift! " "It's just a little something" or "I'm sorry ..." It's best to avoid this practice. Of course, if you say "this is a very valuable thing!" in an almost proud tone when giving. When introducing gifts, we should emphasize our kindness and kindness to the recipients, rather than the actual value of the gifts, which is also inappropriate. Otherwise, it will fall into a situation of valuing ceremony over righteousness, and even make the other party feel that they are taking bribes. ?

4. Considering the custom?

Giving gifts to people, things and places is one of the norms of social etiquette, and the choice of gifts should also meet the requirements of this norm. For different recipients, the choice of gifts should be treated differently. Generally speaking, for the poor, it is still affordable; For the rich, exquisiteness is better; For lovers, lovers, lovers, it is better to commemorate; For friends, fun is better; For the elderly, it is better to be practical; For children, it is best to innovate; For foreign guests, it is best to have characteristics. ?

You must master the principle of avoiding taboos when giving gifts:

For example, there is a common saying in China called "yes man". Therefore, all gifts for big congratulations and great joy are always taboo, but the even number "4" is taboo in Guangdong, because in Cantonese, "4" sounds like "death" and is unlucky. Even the best white is pure, but it is taboo in China, because in China, white is often the color of great compassion. Similarly, black is considered unlucky, the color of disaster and mourning. On the other hand, red is a symbol of joy, peace and celebration and is widely loved by people. In addition, people in China often pay attention not to send clocks and watches to the elderly or pears to lovers. Because the country's "sending a clock" is homophonic with "dying", "pear" is unlucky. Also, if you can't send medicine to healthy people, you can't send personal belongings to friends of the opposite sex. ?

★ Business card usage rules?

Business cards have a wide range of uses. The most important thing is to introduce yourself. You can also send flowers or gifts, letters of introduction, thanks, invitations and condolences. You can also leave a short postscript on your business card. ?

Westerners usually write the initials of several French words when using business cards, which respectively represent the following different meanings:

1, p.p. (backward demonstration): it means introduction. Usually used to introduce one friend to another. When you receive a business card written "P.P." in the lower left corner from a friend and a business card from a stranger, you are introduced to a new friend. You should send a business card or make a phone call to your new friend immediately. ?

2. (Congratulations): It means congratulations. Used for festivals or other fixed anniversaries. ?

This is my condolences. Expressing condolences over the death of important people. ?

I want to thank you. Express gratitude after receiving gifts, congratulatory letters or hospitality. This is a reply to receiving a "P.F." or "P.C." business card. ?

5, P.P.c, (pour prendre conge): It means to say goodbye. For breaking up. ?

6. This means congratulations on the New Year. ?

7. Please pay attention. Remind the other party of the postscript on the business card. ?

According to western social etiquette, it should be noted that when a man visits a family, if he wants to send a business card, he should give it to the man and the hostess respectively, and then give it to the woman who is over 18, but he must never leave more than three business cards in the same place. ?

If a woman wants to send a business card to someone else's house, she should give a business card to every woman over the age of 18 in this family, not to a man. ?

If visitors don't make an appointment in advance, they don't want to be met, just want to show respect. He can give his business card to anyone who opens the door and ask him to give it to his master. If the host opens the door and invites him in, he should only sit for a while. Business cards should be placed on the table, not handed directly to the hostess. ?

★ Men shouldn't give women gifts?

Lipstick: Some things, such as the password in the passbook, will never be understood by outsiders, and so will lipstick. Because a suitable lipstick is not only the right color, but more importantly, it blends well with lips. That kind of harmonious feeling, you have to experience it yourself. Men can only be bystanders in this respect forever. ?

Standard clothes displayed in the window: Maybe you want to surprise her, but unfortunately not everyone has a standard figure like a model. The expression on her face is not what you expected when she picks up a button that has been broken from the ground or looks at the waist that can put down a fist. ?

Things that break off relations with ex-girlfriends: When choosing gifts, men often unconsciously choose styles, colors and items that their ex-girlfriends like. Even the woman who doesn't care about your past the most, I'm afraid she has an "alternative" sadness in her heart when she receives such a gift. ?

Women's articles: In this woman's private plot, the intrusion of men will only be thankless. Even if your thoughtfulness is in place, as the saying goes, "Men who are too familiar with women are mostly prodigals in love", which makes her very disgusted and suspicious.