Although many men don’t say it, they long for a “confidante” in their hearts. As a woman around him, maybe you don't really understand men, and you don't know what the attraction is of a "confidante" status that exists like a god in their hearts. Do they really just want a soulmate, or are they looking for some other excitement? Can you guess the man's psychology?

How to locate a confidante?

Many men want to have a confidante. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find a soulmate; even if you are lucky enough to find one, you may not be able to grasp the "degree" well and your "confidante" will become a "beauty and disaster", causing your wife and children to be separated, and the chickens and dogs to be restless.

"What is a wife? A woman to whom you are willing to leave your savings. What is a confidante? A woman who can tell her some secrets but cannot tell her wife." Baobao said this.

Mainly spiritual communication.

“Having more friends than lovers and fewer lovers” is the definition of a confidante. In this regard, Shi Lin, an associate professor at the School of Psychology at Beijing Normal University, explained that a normal confidante is a purely opposite-sex emotion because she prefers to make more friends. People of the opposite sex who are similar in age can be called confidantes; those with a big age gap are generally called "year-old friends". A confidante can be a wandering listener in the heart, or a reader of the soul. "But it's all spiritual communication. Once love or sex happens, the relationship falls apart."

Female friends have been around for a long time. Russian musicians Tchaikovsky and Madame Meck are good examples. The two of them had corresponded for 13 years but had never met. Mrs. Meck said in the letter: "Our souls are in contact, looking at each other and talking. You and your music are knocking on my soul all the time." Tchaikovsky also regarded Mrs. Meck as his only confidante. ; and wrote his representative works "Fourth Symphony" and "Pathétique Symphony" specifically for her.

Beauty is someone you can talk to.

In the eyes of women, when a man is looking for a confidante, he cannot escape the suspicion of being a philanderer. In fact, many men just want someone to talk to. Song Yumei, a counselor at the Hearing and Speech Counseling Center, believes that men are also very fragile and need care. "But in the family, a man is an umbrella that protects him from wind and rain. He must use a strong appearance to cover up his fatigue and weakness, and a confidante can release a man's negative emotions." In the eyes of men, women are more delicate, More willing to listen. Their hearts are like mothers, giving men a sense of security.

Shi Lin also told reporters that couples not only get married, but also have friends and family ties. But most people don't realize this, and when a wife does not communicate with her husband as a friend, it will cause a man to feel psychological regret. At this time, a confidante has become a "necessity".

In addition, vanity makes most men desire to enjoy the care and closeness of women other than their wives. Song Yumei said: "The biggest difference between a lover and a confidante is that the latter does not involve sex, love and money, so it is easier to maintain a lifetime. I feel lucky to have someone who silently listens to you and waits for you silently in this life. "So some people say that a woman who can be a confidante knows how to love and listen, but she is not demanding or rejecting. It is this sense of distance that makes it easier for men to communicate with them and even share their most intimate secrets with them.

Tell your wife everything.

For a man, if he is lucky enough to get a confidante, he is likely to regard her as the tenderest secret in his heart. Song Yumei said that if a man has a confidante, he'd better confess it to his wife. "If you only regard your confidante as a spiritual friend, then you have ulterior motives; and your wife is a tolerant person and can be honest." As a wife, when she learns that her husband has a confidante, she should give her Her understanding and trust. "Since your husband is willing to tell you this, it means that he is unlikely to be betrayed mentally or deceived physically."

In order to avoid the "disaster" of a confidante becoming a confidante, men should also be cautious Remember "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".

For example, don't have too frequent contact with your confidante, don't talk about the topic too deeply; the time of meeting should not be too late, the location should not be too hidden, etc. Don't look for a confidante for everything, know that she is just one of your many friends.

A confidante believes in this sentence; true love spans the length of life and the width of the soul, and can exist in various forms. In this world, what men need most is a wife and a confidante.

Beauty is not a lover, boundaries are very important.

When you are bedridden and struggling with pain, the person holding your hand and crying in panic must be his wife. She is afraid of your pain and death, and would like to die because of your injuries. She is crying. The obsession moves you and makes you uneasy. But the confidante does not. A confidante never cries. She just stands by the bed, staring at you quietly, reading your heart, and then uses her mouth, her eyes, and her heart to tell you that she knows where your pain is. She understands you and is willing to share with you silently, so that your soul will no longer be lonely and make you happy. This illustrates the essential difference between the two: I cry because I love you; I don’t cry because I understand you.

If a man has a woman who loves you deeply and understands you with all his heart, what else can he ask for? Feminine confidantes are extremely smart girls, and they know best: if a woman wants to stay in a man's life forever, she must either be his mother, or be the confidante he will never get. She knew him, but she just didn't belong to him.

Give him enough care, but don’t give him a good impression, don’t give him the threat that you will fall in love with him, and don’t let him have the impulse and enthusiasm to fall in love with you. This is the skill of being a confidante. I went on a long journey, but there was no news, but a major natural disaster occurred at my destination, which made my confidante very worried. You dialed the number many times, but you couldn't get through every time because your phone was turned off. When you have wandered enough and stand in front of her disheveled face, she just smiles and asks: "Long time no see, did you have fun?" She won't mention her worries, her worries, never. She knew that mentioning those things had nothing to do with her. She doesn't want love, she just wants friendship. She is like a mischievous ghost. She gives you a wink, and then brings out all the naughty, passionate, and active elements of a boy in you. In front of her, you have no choice but to surrender.

Whether you have a confidante or not, you must take your wife's feelings seriously. Because she is the one who accompanies the man throughout his life.