There is a debate in "Seven Pa Shuo", which is called "The lovers who quarrel apologize for their mistakes, or the boys apologize first". Zang Hongfei's short stories are very enlightening. He once had a quarrel with his girlfriend over a trifle. The two men are at war, and neither believes in the other. He has been trying to convince the other side of two emotional lines because he thinks he has some truth. Noisy, he seized a logical loophole of the other side, rallied excitedly, and listed several aspects logically and meticulously, ending the war with decisive advantage. As a result, my girlfriend looked up and said, "Why are you yelling at me? That little thing just now is no longer important. Please explain why you yelled at me? " Therefore, Zang concluded: In fact, in feelings, quarreling with lovers can never win. She knows all these things, but she just feels that she must be recognized and taken care of. It is better to follow each other's emotions until she calms down, which will certainly solve the difficulties well. A small scene is indeed the true face of many people's feelings. Husband and wife quarrel, in fact, women quarrel about emotions, while boys quarrel about logic. It's hard to be in the same direction. Men who really want to deal with problems are not easy to reason with women, because they understand that not only can they not communicate effectively, but they will turn small things into big things. These boys who always reason with women in disputes, regardless of her mentality, are actually unreasonable themselves. What emotional articles are there? Put away the truth. Lin Yutang once said a famous saying: How to be a good husband? The two emotional lines are: if your wife likes you, follow her, but don't be angry with her when she is angry. He has done this all his life. Lin Yutang's personality is simple and straightforward, with the unique femininity and freedom of a literary master, while his wife Liao Cuifeng is simple and intelligent, and loves wealth. Two completely different people, living together in daily life, will inevitably have friction. I didn't talk to each other about anything, and I didn't stand up. I solved a dispute that could break out anytime and anywhere in a funny way. That solution is much superior. Lin Yutang is not good at housework. Sometimes when his wife asks him to wash the dishes, he will accidentally break them. My wife is really angry. How can an old man not even hold a plate? Just as he was about to get angry in advance, Lin Yutang pinched his wife's nose like a good girl. Liao Cuifeng loves to be praised for her beautiful and straight nose. Every time Lin Yutang did that, she was amused, and a war without smoke was blown out invisibly. In view of the disputes between husband and wife, Lin Yutang has his own tips to solve them: it is better to say less than to do more; Needless to say, there is another person who is stronger. Between husband and wife, how big can it be? It's just that there are some frictions in life and the suggestions are not harmonious. In anger, women should vent their emotions, boys should sort out their logic, and no one will listen to anyone. In fact, in the final analysis, communication will fail. Struggle, no result, always together in the end, which adds cracks to this feeling. All women's rationality, sensitivity and sensitivity are mainly displayed in front of important people. Many times, it's not that women are unreasonable, but that they lack security. Be sure to find out how the other person feels about himself in this way. It is natural to understand the psychological state of many boys who want to solve difficulties quickly. However, for an angry woman, what can make her more rational than calming her mind first? It's not your reason that really calms her down, it's just practical action! These men who have been reasoning with their wives until she can really calm down and reason with you will understand that it is actually that she doesn't love you. You had an argument with your self-righteous truth. In fact, this is indeed a personal behavior with the least emotional intelligence and IQ. Home is hardly a judgment seat, and lovers don't want you to demonstrate and reason all the time. Home is a place of prayer. A truly intelligent boy knows how to make his wife and himself closer. That is, even if the suggestion is contradictory, it always warms her like a beam of light. Instead of standing on her opposite side and leaving her helpless with a bunch of reasons. In marriage, these reasonable boys can't get the real inseparable love from their wives in the end. What emotional articles are there? 1 1 month, even in the increasingly green season in the south of the Yangtze River, I made friends with a local "green skin sightseeing small train club team" with two emotional lines. Members are ordinary boys and girls in big cities. Some of them are engaged in the maintenance of train depots, research and development of high-speed train products, and scientific research on frozen soil road construction. And many of them are broken purely for the better love of small green leather cars. What emotional articles are there? Interestingly, I found that this "green leather sightseeing train club team" may be the group with the largest proportion of successful couples in China. The core figure is thirty or forty people, but in recent years there are seven couples who are in love and married! Many couples are determined to get married naked. Without a house or a car, the girl returned the house she rented, rented a house with her boyfriend far away from the train whistle, and got married with a marriage certificate. This incident surprised me-this way of dating is really strange now. In the case that everyone can bask in diamond rings, wedding dresses and European castle wedding banquets, some people bask in many old motorcycles, bask in a pile of weeds, and bask in the messy smile that the wind blows gently from the window glass, and get married. Xiao Gu, a girl who got married naked in a green leather car, said: "Boys who habitually take photos in a green leather car should at least not count all their goals in life as money. At least like teenagers, they have expectations for distant places, oblique branches to unrealistic ideals, and at least are sensitive to beauty. I have been in love before, and I think many boys have become greasy men before they reach middle age. Because of his rhetoric, both emotional lines are showing off how far he has gone on the secular road to success. But I think, if you are with someone who is not sensitive to beauty, even if you live in court, how boring can this life be? " That's right. If a boy only uses all the kinetic energy in his life to pursue speed and charm, it is not easy for him to drive a green leather car to pursue beautiful scenery. Outside the car is a birch forest, which is particularly bright in the golden Chaoyang District. What are the uses? What is the use of wild chrysanthemums in full bloom and women wrapped in square towels in small subway stations for passers-by who are in a hurry? When parking on the side of the road, what is the practical significance of the blue bricks outside the car and a cherry tree of grandparents in your eyes ... A woman who can drive this kind of car to pick a lover is also a person with spiritual needs. She doesn't care about the third anniversary. The emotional evidence released is a stack of train tickets, with only a large denomination of more than 200 yuan and only a small denomination of 8.5 yuan; She didn't care either. In order to better accompany her beloved to photograph the rising sun on the mountain, she got on the train trembling in a military coat at 4 am. She doesn't care about other women drying BMW Five Series and brand-name bags, only drying the big teapot wrapped in cotton blanket to renew tea for the flight attendants, only drying the corncob and happy pepper skewers bought on the train coffee table, and drying the sticky soup on the huaming town in northern China. They can meet and fall in love on the old sightseeing train, which shows that this kind of sightseeing train, which is often black and white upside down, and this kind of increasingly scarce sightseeing train give them a different breakthrough-to find people who are consistent with their values in the crowded crowd. This is a necessary condition for boys chasing trains to lead a dissolute life of light and shadow. Miss Gu really saw this. Her husband Xiao Yang is a landscape interior designer. On the train, he will definitely bring her three things: a waist pillow, a tea towel and an enamel jar. You can understand how necessary these three things are when you book the row chairs of the old green leather car-the green leather car is not as comfortable as the aviation chair of the high-speed rail later, and its sitting surface and backrest are at a right angle of 90 degrees, which will make you backache after sitting for a long time, so a retractable waist pillow fully confirms Xiao Yang's knowledge. The tea table of the green leather car is wrapped in an aluminum frame, which makes it feel very cold in winter. Putting a small piece of strong tea towel, cutting toast, making coffee, peeling oranges and reading books adds a layer of comfort and warmth. Xiao Yang bought her own change and asked her mother to sew it into a tea towel. Every time he takes it out, the color of the tea towel is different. He knew that Xiao Gu was a photographer and had been peeking at the books she had read, the handwritten books she had recorded, and the layered color of the tea towel he had prepared in advance, which was in perfect harmony with Xiao Gu's "lover of travel". As for the enamel cylinder, it is really a versatile partner on the green leather car. Xiao Gu used it to fill tea soup, insert weeds, wash fruits and warm old tofu. Naturally, it's not just these old three things that touch her. Every time I travel, Xiao Yang has her in the lens. Among this group of green leather car enthusiasts, I accidentally saw the original appearance of love and truth. There is not much additional material life, but a gorgeous moment to distinguish, accommodate and praise people.