1. School is hell. The principal is the king of hell, the dean is the judge, the teacher records the book of life and death, and the student council is the imp.

2. The weather is too hot! In order to prevent my back from being scorched while lying in bed, I have to turn over every hour before going back to sleep.

3. Friends are like RMB, some are true and some are false. Unfortunately I am not a money detector. Friends, I only want quality, not quantity.

4. The early-morning school sickness returned, and I suddenly wanted to study. Afterwards I washed my face and felt much more awake. Well, playing with mobile phones.

5. If you are hurt, not only will my heart hurt, but my heart can no longer bear your blow to anything.

6. Grandpa said that in their time, when they encountered a question they couldn’t solve in the exam, they would write “Long Live Chairman Mao” and no one would dare to put a cross.

7. Love is a glass of wine. We hold it carefully to the person we love, but he accidentally spills it, so I add water.

8. My feet tend to get cold because my legs are too long and the altitude is too high to supply blood. I finally found out the reason why my feet have been cold for so many years.

9. My father is a myth, and my mother is so charming that I can take you to have sex even if you lose all your teeth.

10. It doesn’t matter what happens to me. Don’t worry about the rumors outside. After all, I have a man who loves me and pampers me.

11. When I have money, I will first sell two Mercedes-Benz and a bicycle. The Mercedes-Benz will open the road on both sides, and I will ride the bicycle in the middle.

12. The vast land can be destroyed with one sword, where will the bustling music and songs fall. Leaning against the clouds, thousands of pots hide my loneliness, even if others laugh at me in vain.

13. Those in the third grade of junior high school leave, those in the second grade go to hell, those in the first grade go to jail, and those in the sixth grade look forward to junior high school life like a fool.

14. I love you and I will never forget you. If someone more handsome than you appears in the future, of course it will be a different matter.

15. If you fall in love with a girl at any time, I will come to propose marriage to you. If he doesn't answer, he kills her whole family, but if he answers, he kills her alone.

16. Just by looking at you, you will know that you are the love child of a donkey and a horse. The rooster crows in the morning, the crows noisy in the early morning, and the orangutan is the accuser in your rape case.

17. There is no pain that cannot be healed, and there is no sinking that cannot be ended. Everything lost will come back in another way.

18. What can move you for the rest of your life is not your achievements, but those days when you endured until you were about to collapse.

19. I always felt like something was stuck in my vagina, and when I dug it out, half of an enoki mushroom came out. I fed it to the poster without hesitation.

20. The electric fan is man’s best friend. I asked the electric fan if I was ugly. The electric fan shook its head silently all night.

21. You don’t see how many good things you do throughout the year. It's rare for a hundred years to sneak up on someone twice, but you hit them all.

22. If you don’t love me, get out, if you don’t believe me, die! I believe in you, because the only one I love is you. If you don’t believe me, it’s because you don’t love me!

23. No one can control your life, but many times we need more courage to be firm in our choices.

24. Just after watching Transformers 4, when Optimus Prime fell, why didn’t the young man holding Oreo appear?

25. The so-called deep love means that there is me in you and you in me. It turns out that eating alone is not as happy as two people eating.

26. I always feel that the bed is too neatly laid out, which makes me feel like I am spending my old age peacefully. Well, it should be messier and more energetic.

27. I suddenly discovered that so many people have been lost around me; it turns out that some people have lost touch with me without knowing it.

28. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

29. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people cannot be found, some people should not be found, and some people cannot be found.

30. The next time someone calls me fat, I will reply to her, fat people have lost weight, so what about ugly people like you?

31. Some people say that I don’t talk or communicate with her on QQ. I wonder how could that be? As long as they don't mate, they can communicate in any way!

32. Ever since you stupidly made a smart decision to like me, it seems that your whole person has begun to radiate the light of wisdom.

33. Every time I go shopping, many people send me small advertisements and flyers. Alas, this is me, so beautiful that it makes people laugh.

34. Don’t judge my appearance, because I don’t rely on my face to make a living. Don’t judge my virtue, because you are not nobler than me.

35. If you like it, go for it. It doesn’t matter if they have a boyfriend or not. The team has a goalkeeper, so the ball will still go in!

36. All questions in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business." Suddenly I feel so busy.

37. You smiled so ugly, tears kept falling. Finally, you asked, why didn’t he come back to take care of you when you were already so unbehaved?

38. From spring to winter, I waited until I could shout out your name on the glass window, but then I met the class teacher’s eyes.

39. Everyone calls you by your name, but only one person can make your name sound so special when he calls you.

40. My computer has the same language as me. As soon as I touch it, it will freeze up. Makes me extremely excited.

41. I have to think about three major questions every day: 1. What to eat in the morning. 2. What to eat for lunch. 3. What to eat at night.

42. A female man = born as a girl + eats as much as a mountain + carries the luggage by oneself + has a lot of gay friends + verbally gossips + shit is a daily routine.

43. If you ride a white horse, you may not be a prince, but you may be Tang Monk; if you have wings, you may not be an angel, but you may be a birdman.

44. No matter how beautiful your brother’s woman is, you won’t touch her, and no matter how handsome your best friend’s man is, you won’t rob her. You know what you can do, and get out of here if you can't.

45. Breaking up means that you no longer love each other. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make the other party feel better, but to make yourself feel better!

46. You are either a psychopath or you are physically defective. I am very healthy and I may be a pervert, super perverted to me.

47. There are only two types of mathematical proof questions, one is "fuck you, I still need to prove it", the other is "fuck you, I can prove it".

48. There are some unspeakable secrets in a person’s life. Unrecoverable regrets, unreachable dreams, and unforgettable love.

49. I dare not tell you all my emotions, because all emotions are related to you, and speaking out is like confessing to you.

50. Love plus love is equal to very love, love minus love is equal to the starting point of love, love multiplied by love is infinite love, and love minus love is equal to the only love.

51. For a kind-hearted person like me, when eating, I usually negotiate with each grain of rice before slowly putting it into my mouth with embarrassment.

52. Your age does not match your IQ at all. Looking at your IQ, I think you are so young, maybe in 2000!

53. There is a feeling between people. Thinking about each other a little bit every day and insisting on slowly accumulating feelings can nourish the relationship.

54. A woman who knows how to show weakness can win the heart of a man; a woman who dares to be strong can win the respect of a man.

55. Teachers always teach us to care for trees, but teacher, I want to tell you: it seems that the trees have been made into test papers.

56. Give me your bank account number and I will pay you back now - I was completely moved when I received this text message.

57. In every dormitory, there is one who snores, one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, and one who sleeps very late and watches the whole room.

58. What makes us unhappy are all trivial things. We can dodge an elephant, but we cannot dodge a fly.

59. The only thing I feel sad about is that I am not strong enough, not strong enough for you to be fearless in supporting me.

60. There were no snacks at home, so I went to buy food in the heavy rain. Anyway, in my heart, eating is the biggest thing.

61. I know that from now on you will continue to be strong in the city without me. And I will heal in the city without you.

62. The most touching words in the world are not that I can give up the whole world for you, but that I can give up World of Warcraft for you.

63. Age is the length of life, knowledge is the density of life, will is the intensity of life, and dreams are the height of life.

64. I should tear off the "National Inspection-Exempt Products" label on the refrigerator and stick it on my summer homework.

65. In fact, find a boyfriend. There is no need to choose a handsome guy, as long as he is cute and willing to be your teaser, that is enough.

66. I am lucky because I have a good best friend and a good husband. Although we will have troubles, we will not be separated.

67. Give me a woman and I can create a nation; give me a bottle of wine and I can lead them to conquer the world!

68. Playing with temper is my habit, being crazy is my freedom, ignoring people is my specialty, being too arrogant is my hobby.

69. If I give you some sunshine, you will be brilliant, right? If I don’t call you a bastard, you don’t know why the flowers are so red!

70. If you feel lonely, turn off the lights and put on a pornographic movie. After a while, you will feel that you are not alone anymore.

71. You can’t insult Zhou Zhenglong’s intelligence too much. At least he didn’t have a leaf on his head, and then claimed that he was a South China tiger!

72. A few dozen days later, primary school and junior high school will be the world of the post-00 generation. Dominating primary and secondary schools, I feel old in an instant.

73. When I was born, God asked me whether I wanted to have a good memory or be handsome. I have forgotten how I answered at that time.

74. If you can’t lie to me for the rest of your life, please don’t lie to me, even with one word. If you can’t love for the rest of your life, please don’t love, even for a moment.

75. The teacher caught me smoking and refused to admit it. The teacher said: Then what is the smell of cigarette on you? I said: Body scent.

76. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel, he may be a birdman.

77. Xie Na asked Zhang Jie if he would find a prostitute. Brother Jie said it depends on who it is. If my wife is not you, you will be my prostitute.

78. I originally wanted to be thin and become a bolt of lightning that would blind your eyes; but I didn’t expect that I would become fat and become a nut, blocking your sight.

79. What I was most afraid of when I was a child was not dreaming about looking for the toilet but not finding it. But before the person woke up, the toilet was found.

80. Put your head high, throw away the snacks, put down the mobile phone, dry your tears, don’t torture yourself, girl, you still have a future.

81. Spending time training your brain will make you feel good when having an affair. Picking up girls will help you resist aging. Flirting will relieve your worries. Your crush will never grow old, and you will feel less lovesick and drowsy.

82. To get a wife, you should marry Xiao Shao, to make friends, you should marry Ling Hu Chong, as a man, it is best to marry Qiao Feng, and to hang out, you should marry Wei Xiaobao.

83. The most painful thing in the world is not the separation between life and death, but the exam is about to take place. Others are reviewing while I am previewing.

84. Don’t think the girls around you with ponytails are ugly. Because you don't know how beautiful she is the moment she takes off the rubber band.

85. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but in the dark night. My house has no electricity, but the lights next door are brightly lit.

86. During class, a classmate passed a note to me. When I saw the content, I wanted to yell at him. It said "Are you there?"

87. After returning from a quick trip, nothing has changed except that what needs to be done has been delayed even longer.

88. There are only two types of mathematical proof questions, one is "fuck, this still needs proof", the other is "fuck, this can also be proved".

89. Our devout prayer: the year-end bonus will be just a little more; the leader’s emotional promise: the new year’s work will be just a little less.

90. If you ask me to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If you ask me to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Do both at the same time? You think I'm an alien!

91. Everyone has done obscene things; when you are playing on the computer, your parents always go to the computer and always switch to the desktop to refresh.

92. ****** Women’s Manifesto. I don't know how to play chess, calligraphy and painting, but I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking. Refuse to have children and pay per view for having sex.

93. Don’t make any promises easily. I’m afraid that nothing will come true in the end and they will all turn into ridiculous lies.

94. In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles' Day, and college students celebrate Children's Day.

95. Let me shout low-key here, I have no time to participate in your past, and I don’t want to participate in your future.

96. Some people say. Sometimes you need to put yourself in someone else's shoes. I think the winter vacation is a good opportunity. Teacher, let's change places.

97. You have derived a function, then reduced it, accumulated it, and settled it back again. Have you considered the feeling of the function?

98. It is so childish and ridiculous to fall in love with someone just based on their chat content. Mature and wise people know that they still need to look through the photo album.

99. Originally, I thought the tiger photo was real, but when I heard ** said it was real, I immediately understood that it was fake!

100. Don’t take your woman seriously. One day, another man will come over and thank you for not understanding her goodness.

101. When the sun is shining brightly, I will think of you. After all, no one can give me an intuition warmer than the sun like you.

102. Mr. Principal, let’s discuss it and let the children who are interested go to school first. Those of us who don’t have it like me will wait a little longer!

103. People who come for your appearance will also leave for other appearances. Only those who come for your heart will last forever.

104. Sometimes I really want to forget you and only remember this world. However, I often forget the whole world and only remember you.

105. At that time, the young people were unwilling to be lonely and mistook training as torture. The right person would finally come because they had made enough mistakes.

106. Dear user, please note: You have not contacted your sweetheart for an hour. Be careful of her troubles.

107. Every time you are mean to me, I feel like there is something wrong with you. I am so cute, but you can still lose your temper. I am speechless!

108. Don’t you have enough brain capacity? If you do something embarrassing yourself and put it on me, you won't feel ashamed, but I will feel ashamed.

109. Love is music: first love is light music, passionate love is rock music, marriage is popular music, and divorce is pop music.

110. Please don’t always think that you will be unforgettable. What I will unforgettable are only the past, not you. Please understand something.

111. I have degenerated and I still can’t swim. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer.