I don't have any friends in my fifties. It's not that I'm unkind and dishonest. On the contrary, everyone thinks I am a real person, but in their eyes, I am a proud person who looks down on others. And more than one person said it, but I never felt that I looked down on anyone. Perhaps it is my innate superior sixth sense and keen insight that deliberately alienates hypocritical and selfish people. I used to get along well with many people, but after getting along for a long time, I found that this person had some problems in some aspects, and I gradually alienated her. As the saying goes, clear water without fish suits me better.
50 years old without a bosom friend!
This reminds me of a hot issue in Zhihu:
Everyone knows it. How many people can know it?
When people reach middle age, the circle of friends in life has basically taken shape. On the surface, I seem to have made many friends, such as mobile phone, WeChat and QQ.
Whether you have made your friends, supported your friends, like-minded friends and so on. It seems that the light is decreasing, drifting away, drifting away and scattered. Now there is only one symbol, a dusty face lying in the address book, and that kind of real heart-to-heart, because of job changes, migration of residence and other reasons, close friends around are scattered and few.
Therefore, although this kind of experience is embarrassing and sad, it is normal and normal to think about it carefully. There is no need to be overly anxious.
In my opinion, intimate friends are the intersection of life circle and circle of friends, but they are constantly changing with life experiences and experiences, not static.
1. Along the way, most of my friends accompanied me along the way and got lost.
The friendship that was once good enough to wear a pair of trousers has now become a stranger and even an enemy. It is common in life and film and television dramas. We are busy in each other's life world, like two parallel rails, which are difficult to intersect. In fact, it is an inevitable life choice when we walk.
Distance factor
Distance produces beauty and estrangement. No matter how good friends are, we haven't seen each other for several years, and we have all merged into a new life circle. "oranges are born in Huainan and oranges are born in Huaibei." The living environment has changed, the contact is less, the feelings have faded, and old friends have become familiar strangers.
Personality factor
As people grow up, their personalities change, and the original understanding between friends becomes blurred. Friends respect each other, protect each other's privacy, envy and hate, and so on. , become more and more sensitive and difficult to master, and even cross the border frequently, forcing friends to stay away from each other and stop communicating. The ship of friendship is stranded or capsized.
Social status has changed.
The naivety of childhood is gradually influenced by many complicated economic and social factors. With the increase of social experience, individual's independent survival ability and knowledge increase. After soaking in the social dye vat, the three views have changed, the difference in social status has become increasingly obvious, and it is inevitable that good friends will part ways.
2. Intimate friends are the ideal state to make friends, and most of them live in luxury.
When people reach middle age, they understand more and more that it is really difficult to get true friendship all their lives. Many times, we always emphasize the importance of personal relationships. For the sake of our own career and customers, we ignore the pure friendship between friends. When we get along, we become purely interest-oriented, more or less trite, and become casual acquaintances.
Like-minded bosom friends can not only see each other pleasing to the eye, get along comfortably, but also feel at home. At the critical moment, they will take small steps, make decisions, give directions, or cheer up and become spiritual pillars on each other's life.
As the saying goes, a bosom friend is rare in life. It is difficult to find a true confidant, so it is the dream of many people to play the piano and learn from each other. A bosom friend is the best friend. I can feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn, understand things tacitly, and read your eyes and heart.
In short, there is no dew in the sky, and there is no human feelings when you are old. The older people get, the weaker their friendship becomes. Maybe that's what happens when people reach middle age!
It is not necessarily a bad thing to get together when you are young and become lonely when you are old. Without friends, it is easier and more leisurely, and you can enjoy the freedom of loneliness as you like.