"Today is hosted by the President's Office of Kassel College, and the special program of Kassel College is' If You Are the One'! I'm the host, Finger von Forslin! As for the woman around me, since she has died in the normal dimension of the plot, everyone can regard her as a tombstone. The tombstone needs no introduction, right? There are words on the tombstone. Let's cut into the advertisement first ... "
(Advertising screen: background music "I have a little donkey that never rides ..." rings-"Fair!" Sir Henkel wore a cowboy hat and rode a donkey. "Looking for a house, looking for antiques, looking for alchemy equipment, looking for scrolls to buy and sell mummies! Go to Sotheby's auction house for directional auction! We have everything! " )
"Your sister!" The hostess Xia Mi kicked her finger in the face. "Don't change your lines without authorization! Your worldview, honor and disgrace are all fed to the dog! Where is the professional ethics of the host? "
"Then where is your professional ethics as a dragon king?" Finger cocked his mouth, "if it weren't for your affair with Chu Zihang in the subway decisive battle, you would have told him what you want and killed him with a knife! Half of the world's elite hybrids will be folded in Beijing, and our book has long since ended. Insoles don't have to rush, and Jiangnan doesn't have to stay up late to rush! The whole world was destroyed! Everyone went back to the Stone Age and leaned happily on the cow! "
"What a fart! If the dragon comes back to life, you still have roast beef! Why don't you be a cow and horse for my sister-in-law, and you will host the program with me? Only worthy of kneeling down and licking my toes! " Xia Mi nu, put on a serious face, "good! Then I will seriously say that I am a dragon king with great professional ethics! Am I easy? Me? In order to recover the dragon, I was used to seduce! Chu Zihang and I have been in the same school for so many years, and a handsome guy can only watch but not eat. Why? Isn't it for the people? I am a beautiful teenager, how much I sacrificed! "
Finger (covering face): "I'm not proud, but I show my true colors of red fruit ..."
Tomatoes flooded out of the audience. These ripe tomatoes are so dense that they collide with each other in the air and become fresh ketchup. )
Finger (facing the tide of tomato noodles coming from the audience): "I asked you to say something related to the theme!" This is over? " (Looking at Xia Mi's whole body) "As a rude German, I certainly don't mind being covered in ketchup. As a little female dragon, isn't it shameful to be painted tomato red? " (gloating) "Gee!"
Xia Mi: "Yan Lingfeng Wang Zhi Tong!"
A minute later, the man strangled by a tomato tornado stood next to the woman wearing a white T-shirt and a bohemian dress and said with a smile, "Am I afraid of ketchup?" Have I ever told you the story that the chocolate sauce I just received is enough to spread breakfast bread for a year? "
Xia Mi nodded: "Yes, I just didn't expect how I received it ... Anyway, today's theme is not your love memorial service, brother! But our blind date will be if you are the one! Then please welcome your beautiful female guests and handsome male guests-"
The background music sounded and beautifully dressed female guests appeared one after another. Some of them are wearing uniforms and skirts of Castle College, and some are wearing hot tights. The other is wearing silk pajamas, and the other is holding half a sweater ...?
There was no time to look at the female guests carefully, and the audience's eyes were attracted by the male guests who came down slowly by elevator from the center of the stage. The first appearance is the only S-class in Castle College, the legendary ultimate trump card Ricardo Milu! !
Ricardo Milu (bowing): "Hello, brother, hello, tombstone sister. I'm Ricardo Milu. I'm glad to be here tonight, with you ... "
Xia Mi interrupted impatiently: "Stop! ! Brother, your opening remarks are too old-fashioned. Let's get to the point! (Turning lines) Excuse me, Brother Ricardo Milu, what are your specialties? "
Ricardo Milu (shaking his head shyly): "It's nothing special. Every time you kill a dragon, you rely on fraud, and your life is only half. " Playing handsome over 100 million dollars to shoot Swiss army knife, oh no, seven deadly sins; But the money is not mine; Castle College's black card is awesome, but when I went back to China for dinner in the summer vacation, I froze on the spot, which made me lose face in front of my high school classmates. Finally, I was saved by my good friend Brother Chu ... Oh, yes, I also invented the popular "icossellyyou" ... Besides, I am good at playing StarCraft! ! "
All the female guests' lights went out.
Finger (embarrassed smile): "Come on, junior, he is just a little green and refreshing. Playing StarCraft is not a bad hobby, is it?" That's e-sports! International competition! ! There are still many people in Beijing Internet cafes who call him Teacher Lu ... Well, let's invite the next male guest first. The second male guest is a tall, reliable, mature, elegant, naive and successful man! Love-Professor guderian! ! "
Professor guderian is wearing black trousers and a white coat, and his glasses are very polished. He is quite a scholar, and he can't see his middle age of 250 on weekdays, which makes manstein sitting in the audience very pleased.
However, the problem of summer tombstone rice is still very spicy: "Hello, Professor, please introduce your age and feelings first!" "
Guderian: "Oh, I can't tell at my age. Anyway, I am still young in college. Compared with those tenured professors, my emotional experience is that I am still single, but in fact, I ... "
Xia Mi snapped, "What's your job title?"
Guderian: "Professor Lenovo ... Lenovo ..."
The lights of the female guests are all turned off.
Fingers puzzled: "Why? Professor, he is a good man! "
Xia Mi: "Well, I'm going to use the common sense thinking I've learned over the years to explain:' Being an associate professor at this age has absolutely no future'! As the saying goes,' it is better to sit next to an associate professor and laugh than to cry in the professor's arms'! "
Fu finger forehead: "where did you hear this strange common sense? Oh ... Forget it, let's go find the next guest! ”！ ! "
The third guest has nothing to say. This is Caesar Gattuso. Dressed in a tailor-made Versace, he conquered all the audience as soon as he appeared, but as soon as he came up, he began to confess to Nuo Nuo that all the younger brothers of Kassel Student Union were still scattering rose petals and playing the background music of the piano quartet. The two hosts haven't contacted each other for ten minutes. ...
Finally, Nuo Nuo couldn't bear it any longer and personally kicked him out. Fingers quickly applauded: "Get to the point! Please welcome the No.4 male guest to appear! "
The elevator descended slowly, and the black pants and leather shoes of the male guests were first exposed. )
"What a low-key costume!" Finger turned to the photographer. "The costume of No.4 male guest is very simple, which is completely different from No.3 just now!"
"Yes, the full set of Versace of No.3 male guest left a deep impression on the audience. I especially like his black leather pants and sapphire shirt. " President Angel nodded slightly in the comment box.
"Only an impetuous playboy like you will be interested in leather pants and sapphire shirts! Focus on his platinum Patek Philippe watch! " The vice principal rudely interrupted the headmaster.
"But low-key is the performance of strength!" Finger tried to arouse the enthusiasm of the audience. "Maybe the next one will be a royal custom coat! Didn't Prince William wear such plain pants when he got married? " But the upper body is the gorgeous red uniform of the Royal Irish Guard Infantry Regiment! That's so cool! That's awesome! "
"That should be a bald head." Xia Mi said happily. (Author's Note: A generation of handsome prince William died unfortunately, but it seems to be inherited from his father. )
"Get out of here! Don't tell me Professor Manstein is here today! It will affect the ratings! At the moment when our first print of 650,000 copies hit the national sales volume of 6.5438+0 million, God bless me to be a handsome guy and be popular! " Fingers are angry.
Professor Manstein raised his hand with a cold face under the stage: "I'm coming."
"Just that your name is a joke, don't take it seriously! Ha ha ha ha! You're not stingy enough to stand in my way of graduation, are you? Ha ha ha ha, you won't be so generous. Why didn't I know you were in the audience? " Mei, whose fingers don't know, said, "Wherever you go, you are the focus of your eyes ..."
Manstein: "Forget graduation!" " "
Finger (twist a head): "Shit! The male guests have not shown their faces for so long? "
Chi Lan, the backstage supervisor: "Because you have been discussing his pants, it is not convenient for him to come out all over, so the elevator is stuck in the middle."
Finger: "Being alive looks really wonderful. At work, it is not Caesar's hero who starts from the lower body. "
……"
Xia Mi: "It's not why I don't think the theme is suitable for some children ..."
Finger: "What is not suitable for children! Backstage! Put the male guests down! Let's take a look at his whole picture! Is it a mule or a horse! "
"This is really the red uniform of the Irish Guard!" Fingers screamed happily, "Oh, oh, oh, so handsome, so handsome. My heart beats like a drum. The fourth male guest was amazing as soon as he appeared! Look at the gold ribbon and the reincarnation badge! "
"ah! Are you mistaken? Shouldn't I scream with joy while you are being sarcastic? " Xia Mi grinned. "You are like a little royal sister who sees Wang Leehom!"
"Oh, oh, I made a mistake. I am still immersed in the psychological hint that you are a tombstone. I think I should shoulder the work of both the man and the woman ... "Finger scratched his head embarrassedly. "Then you scream, I will say somewhat ironic ..."
"I depend!" Xia Mi bowed his head. "Your scream is perfect. I can't figure out how to surpass it ... Why don't I be sarcastic? I said this sense of dress? Are you Prince William? It looks good in material and workmanship! Nowadays, men only know how to be cool, but they don't know that girls hate men who put on airs most. Alas, there are signs of baldness! It's not a real prince. Is it true that the proportion of mixed blood in the royal family is quite high ... Wow, he has tattoos on his head, so sexy! " (excited)
"Your contact lenses are wrong. He just has a KFC bucket on his head! "
Xia Mi (furious): "Shit! What is the background supervision? The midnight snack I ordered should have been delivered to the fitting room! Why did you send a takeaway brother as a guest?
Finger (lowering voice): "Yes, your chicken leg has been sent to the dressing room. This is not takeout. This is a mysterious figure who has been very active recently! Mr. KFC! Let's take a look at the evaluation of Mr. KFC by 12 female guests present ... Oh ... completely destroyed ... Why do girls collectively turn off the lights for Mr. KFC? "
1 Female guest Nuo Nuo: "Haven't you heard an old saying? Don't lose weight in May, be sad in June, be sad in July, be sad in August and be sad in September! Please don't let this male guest with high fat content go out in this sad season, okay? "
Finger: "Isn't October sad?"
Xia Mi: "No knowledge! When you arrive, you can't wear a suspender skirt and you can't see the meat! "
Finger: "Oh, maybe there was something wrong with the male guests when they chose clothes. We give the male guests a chance. Did the male guests eat KFC for dinner? "
No one heard what Mr. KFC said because of the obstruction of the whole family. Finger listened carefully to his words and sent a message on his behalf: "Oh, he said he had orange juice frog steak and chardonnay white wine with garlic seafood soup."
Finger: "the light is on, give the female guests a chance to choose again!" Oh! It's amazing that 10 female guests came to give us a high-class dinner, Mr. KFC! They are 1, Susie 2, Susie 3, 4, Tan 4, 7 ... I have Aki Sakatoku 8! Is this a family drama in which two sisters compete for a man? Please don't eat potato chips on the 9th. What occasion do you think this is? This is a blind date! And 10, what do you mean, you have a bucket on your head? Makeup artist! Who the fuck is this makeup artist? Does this style also come out for blind date? There is nothing new at all, even if you want to go to the food department, you can stand on the plate of Pizza Hut! "
Xia Mi: "It's a girl with three noes, and she hasn't shown her face so far."
Finger: "... well, it seems that our Mr. KFC is expected to be the dark horse of this program!" 10 is a female guest who is willing to get to know him better. Excuse me, Mr. KFC, how do you feel now? "
Mr. KFC's voice was still inaudible, and his finger called out again: "... he said he just wanted to know who the two female guests were who turned off his light." This experience is a big stain on his life ... "
One of the female guests, a plastic perm with steamed bread, wearing half an unfinished sweater, stood up generously: "It's me! What do you want! "
Finger (clapping hard): "It's Ricardo M. Aunt Lu who is really domineering! ! But the tombstone, if you are the one, why did you enter an aunt? "
Xia Mi said with a smile: "According to the director, because this is a class committee meeting of Kassel College, if you are the one, it is normal for parents to go in and watch ..."
My aunt waved a sweater needle with the majesty of a chartered woman in Kowloon City Village: "The class committee is about to open, why are you?" Bad boy! ! I wouldn't have come if the director hadn't invited me so many times! You're an independent college, and we in Yanari Ze just don't care ... "
Finger interrupted: "Aunt, get to the point, why did you turn off his light?"
Aunt righteously said, "you don't have to say that. Is it reliable to eat only a few fish, a bowl of soup and half a glass of wine for a meal? Look at us in Yanari Ze, there are at least three fights in the whole family, right, that thing on the head. "
Xia Mi (in a low voice): "Anyway, we didn't invite people with height 160 and weight 160 as our guests ... Well, please invite another female guest. What is your reason for turning off the light? "
"Because this collocation doesn't sound reasonable, Mr. Francis, who taught me French cuisine, said that orange juice frog fish steak should be matched ..." The female guest who spoke was a beautiful aunt in a silk nightgown, and her speech was elegant and gentle. The only problem is that she doesn't seem to wake up. ...
Ricardo M Lu, who was thrown out, said, "Forget my menstruation. I'm used to bring disgrace to oneself at parent-teacher conferences. How did they get Chu Zihang's mother ... "I didn't notice Susie's snickering. She has been fighting in a roundabout way recently, and her relationship with "(target) future mother-in-law" is better than girlfriends.
Finger interrupted my aunt's dream talk about French cuisine: "OK, let's go to the next step. Mr. KFC, do you have any hobbies? "
Mr. KFC continued to whisper, and the message came from his finger: "Oh, he said that he usually likes to play the cello and play more than a dozen basketballs, and he also likes to study various academic works to understand women's psychology and fashion trends ... academic works?"
Xia Mi: "These interests sound familiar, but who are they? I don't remember ... why not ask more personal information and let everyone guess who it is? "
Finger: "We are dating programs. How did it become "let me guess, let me guess"? Besides, as a mouthpiece, I already know the truth! ! But everyone in the audience seems to be still interested in him ... "He glanced at the cheerful female guests, and sure enough, his sisters all like men with a sense of mystery ..." Then continue your hobbies! Oh, he said that his idol is that his favorite cartoon recently is rebellious Lu, because he really wants to learn Lu's technique of "wearing two contact lenses with one hand at a time" and he is good at cooking. He often cuts salmon fillets quickly and mercilessly with a knife more than one meter long. Of course, in addition to salmon, he is also good at cutting other things ... "
Xia Mi (cold sweat): "Sounds like ... the goods ..."
But before she finished, Aunt De, wearing a silk nightgown, flew over and took off Mr. KFC's family heirloom: "Zihang! Zihang, why do you want to be on this program? Why can't my airline find a partner! Is it because mom's cooking is not delicious? Mom works so hard every time, cooks so hard, and goes to such an expensive French food school. It's all for you ... "
"It's the poor monk's son who brutally killed the embryo, and he can't get married for ten thousand years ..." The rice on the summer tombstone, "I felt backache when I saw him ..."
Chu Zihang's mother hugged his neck and cried. She is always cold and faint, and rarely embarrassed: "This is the task assigned by the executive department. It is said that pretending to be the mysterious' Mr. KFC' to participate in entertainment programs may be to attract your attention in order to collect more information from him ... "
"What ah, originally is the administration department! It wasn't enough to make Zihang dress up as a pregnant woman last time. What do you want? " Professor guderian is even more angry at Susie's gnashing of teeth.
"Schneider! You don't even let go of the sacred blind date program! It's just that you are quite handsome in the cartoon version of the dragon, so you can show off in an ostentatious manner! My lifelong happiness didn't end with you! ! "
"I told you it doesn't matter to me ... go home and play starcraft." Ricardo Milu shrugged and tried to leave, but his menstruation caught him. He grabbed his ear and went back to repair the toilet. The other guests also broke up. Xia Mi paused, don't know what to say, or the tenth grade brother who has experienced ten years of test quickly ended:
"In this way, the meeting of the castle class committee with dragon characteristics has come to a successful conclusion! Do you feel the free and unrestrained, serious and lively school spirit? What, a blind date? Claw? That's the truth. Everyone is still a college student. Learning is the most important thing ... Professor guderian's love affair with Huang can be developed in a nearby activity center for the elderly. Hahahaha ... so goodbye! "