When I was a child, there was a family in the village who was so poor that they couldn't even eat Chinese New Year's meat. There are two sons in this family. On holidays, two boys saw someone else's stew and greedily surrounded their parents for meat.

It's sad enough that parents are tortured by poverty, and they have to deal with the demands of their two sons. So, the father borrowed money to buy two pounds of meat and let the mother stew it for his sons. The two boys eat well. After dinner, the father led the two children to the tuyere at the head of the village and let the two sons blow cold air in the cold winter.

After returning home, the two children were sick, vomiting and indigestion because of the cold wind blowing just after eating meat. From then on, I felt sick at the smell of meat, and I never wanted to eat meat again. Until later, the two boys grew up and their living conditions gradually improved, but they always hated eating meat. ...

When I was a child, I heard adults talk about this matter, and I also gave a thumbs-up to the wisdom of the boy's parents. But when I grew up, I was gradually able to analyze and judge the world. I found that the sad parents cut off their son's hunger for food by cruel means!

It is obvious to all that parents are dehumanizing. But in life, many evaluations or practices are silently devouring your true colors in a hidden way.

1.

When I was a kindergarten teacher, I had a female classmate, Tao Tao, who was kind and introverted. She always smiles shyly and is not good at talking, but she likes to keep a diary. One day, Tao Tao was lying on the desk in the dormitory writing a diary. The boarding teacher told her to answer the phone, and Tao Tao hurried out.

The open diary was read by the roommate who poured water. They saw Tao Tao complaining about some practices of teachers and classmates in his diary. And then collective anger.

After Tao Tao came back, the sisters in the dormitory had a meeting with her. The general idea is that people should be kind and sincere, be true as one, and be frank and open. Tao Tao is not kind, sincere and open enough. Tao Tao argued: "It's just that some of my negative emotions are inconvenient to say, so I vent them in my diary."

The sisters in the dormitory didn't buy it. They still labeled Tao Tao as a "hypocritical, two-faced and scheming woman" and alienated her collectively.

Tao Tao told me that during that time, she was depressed and even began to doubt life. Sometimes, she also thinks that the sisters in the dormitory are right: she is really not kind enough and is not a good girl because she has some opinions about others. She should hold a Buddhist heart and be tolerant and merciful to anyone and anything. It is really bad that she is not merciful and kind.

As a matter of fact, Tao Tao is always friendly with people. She just revealed a temporary negative emotion in her diary, which was seen by her sisters and made an article.

In the future, Tao Tao became timid and cautious, afraid to express his true feelings and vent a little emotion, even if it was not good-looking in the world. The energetic girl turned into a good old-fashioned person.

When we were young, we didn't know how to appreciate the beauty and diversity of the world, because we had a single experience, a lack of experience and a single value system, and our evaluation of people and things was white except black. People often see the whole leopard in one spot and put a moral hat on someone's single behavior. Such evaluation and self-evaluation make our world dark and miss a lot of light.

2.

After graduating from Juanjuan University, he joined a famous state-owned enterprise. Her department has good welfare and great work pressure. Juanjuan's way to relieve stress after work is disco dancing. Dance to the rhythmic music until you sweat, and all your troubles go with the sweat.

After marriage, Juanjuan still kept this habit. When she meets something hard, she goes to the disco to vent. However, Juanjuan's habits were criticized by her husband and mother-in-law. They accuse Juanjuan of being "immoral" and think that a woman who has married a woman normally can't go dancing from time to time.

Juanjuan is firmly bound by the word "disobedience to women's morality", and no woman is willing to bear such accusations. From then on, no matter what the sadness was, Juanjuan also chose to digest it silently and stopped going to disco. But Juanjuan always felt something was wrong, as if her original self had been swallowed up by a little bit.

In fact, everyone is diverse, three-dimensional, and a combination of "good and bad". In view of the inconsistency of the evaluation system, there is no absolute good or bad. Raising some personal behaviors to the moral level for trial is more often to intimidate you into surrendering to another value system. Moral radiation is very wide, and those magnified neutral words have the power of condemnation only when they are placed on the moral level. More often, it just devours your true colors in the name of morality.

I remember when I just graduated, I confided to a friend because of an unhappy thing. My friend pointed to a glass of water on the table and asked me, do you think the glass is full? I said, full. But my friend said: I think it's eight points full. As he spoke, he poured some more water into the cup until it overflowed. He said with satisfaction, I think this is full.

At that moment, I suddenly realized that people are not only different, because people have different knowledge, different knowledge and different cultivation, and naturally have different views and judgment standards on things and different ways to deal with problems.

In life, those judges who don't talk about things directly pour dirty water on the evaluation of personality and humanity, which hurts the most. In fact, don't care, don't care, don't be demanding. No one is perfect, allow yourself to make mistakes, and there is no need to judge yourself by other people's standards. Allowing life to exist in different States is the real open-mindedness.

3.

One of my old leaders, cheerful and talkative, has many friends.

She talks about learning with lofty old pedants and makes spiritual friends; Learn to cook, go shopping and be friends in life with female neighbors who are curious about their parents; Learn to taste wine, learn to dance, and be a tasteful woman with picky colleagues ... She has friends from all walks of life and different personalities, as if the whole world belongs to her. ...

A truly mature person will make friends with the world, see the strengths of others, be friends with the strengths of others, be transparent and open-minded, instead of docking the shortcomings of others with his own single values and blocking the road to the world.

Whenever I see chicken soup similar to the truth on the Internet, such as: "If you meet someone who is suspicious, no matter how sincere you are, it is a lie;" No matter how simple people are, when they meet complex people, they are all calculating ... "Wait, I think it's funny. It is extremely unfair to use a unified standard to evaluate people with different classes and different ideas.

In fact, even commendatory words have two sides when applied to people. For example, an exquisite person must be picky; An enterprising person must have a high vision; People who are informal are certainly not so meticulous. ...

In the process of interacting with people, we often have to face many negative comments. Whether we take you to the moral level for trial evaluation or our family insists on changing your evaluation in the name of love, we should treat you rationally. Don't accept everything, deny yourself, follow the values of others, and don't go it alone.

Leave those true natures that are harmless and malicious to others. In order to avoid conceit or arrogance, when you meet people with different values, you should learn to stand in line with the value orientation, be first-class and share, and automatically choose to stand in groups similar to yourself.

The world is big enough for African men in skirts and Arabs in veils. Can't it accommodate a little you?