first episode
1. Wan Yu (singing):? La la la la la la?
Uncle trailer:? Girl, did you learn this song from me?
Wan Yu:? Huh? Uncle, you can, too.
Uncle trailer:? Our chicken is like this. Chicken feet move like you, lift them, lift them? In this way, I don't know when many young people began to learn from me.
Wan Yu:? Uncle, you are so funny, so you are the founder of hip-hop
Uncle trailer:? What? Killed someone (founder)? I drive a tractor very slowly and never hit anyone?
2. Zhanbo: Make five copies first? Rape and chicken rice flower? !
Wan Yu (to the waiter): So we want five copies? Rape and chicken rice flower?
Yifei: Two prodigies. Who are they? Spicy chicken rice flower?
Zhanbo: Oh, really, changed its name?
3. Wan Yu: Is this a tractor? I always call it go-karting!
4. Bus master (to Zhan Bo): You are a pervert. You either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out of here. What are you twisting?
Bus master (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in a coin or get out. what are you reading? (Bodyguard gets off the bus) You can't afford a car, and you pretend to be the matrix, huh!
5. Inspector:? A BMW is coming to you at a speed of 280 yards, followed by a Mercedes. Wait a minute, a tractor is better, and it's still flashing the left lane change light. He wants to overtake! ?
6. Audience: Eat sesame cakes and beer lids, eat wonton and moth balls, pat flies on your nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and your mobile phone can't be taken out when it falls into the merit box.
7. Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. It's a pity that one always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator.
8. Zi Qiao: I'm Chen Yuanyuan, and you? (glancing at his chest) Chen, flat, flat!
9. Zi Qiao: Ladies and gentlemen, today, these two are going together.
10. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear.
Meijia: Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and mighty, and your skin is impeccable. ...
1 1. Yifei: If the carpet is not long enough, reduce your red underwear to 5 meters.
12. Zi Qiao: The lack of organic conditioning in the stomach and intestines leads to digestive disorders. Now the earth's rotation is getting slower and slower and the gravity is getting smaller and smaller. Hey, it's not easy.
12. Zi Qiao: You are a femme fatale. Wait, you are not a femme fatale, but a femme fatale.
13. Zi Qiao: Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental.
the second group
1. Zhanbo: The price of pork downstairs has gone up, so I went to another store to buy pork.
2. Meijia: I have never heard an old saying that people who only know how to count money will eventually have no money to count.
Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together.
Fairy: Yes, and then the doctor gave Zhan Bo all his brains with a sharp knife.
4. Meijia: 17 got 7,2748, Women's Day on March 8th, Labor Day on May 1st and Children's Day on June 1st.
Zi Qiao: When it's done, we'll split it 50-50.
Meijia: OK first. Who is five?
6. Zi Qiao: Who said that fortune tellers must be blind? He is obviously a mute. . . . .
7. Guangu: My name is Guangu.
Zi Qiao: Guan Yu, my name is Lu Bu.
8. Yifei: It is announced downstairs that pork prices have increased all over the world. Do you want me to go to Mars to buy pork?
Episode 3
1. Zi Qiao: At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. The mother-in-law doesn't want to marry her daughter, and the father of the child ... is also very clear.
2. Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Then I suddenly realized that something even more terrible had happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!
3. Guan gu:? I used to think that you people in China are very modest, but now I find that you are not?
Zi Qiao:? Why?
Guangu:? Every day on the road, I see you writing about China, China people, China agriculture, China industry and commerce and Guangdong development. I know you are good in many ways now! But it doesn't have to be written everywhere, does it? ?
4. Zi Qiao: Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!
It's freezing rain in the Arctic, and the Antarctic bear is so pitiful.
It's freezing rain in the Arctic. The giraffe is so pitiful.
It's freezing rain in the Arctic. The giant panda is so pitiful.
Today, the old teacher asked me to make a sentence, saying that describing a person is very happy, so I said it? Jiuquan smiles?
7. Psychiatrist? A word? Fool you, scare you, get you?
8. Say you have no culture! Even Stephanie doesn't know, Malaysian, singing? Courage? That! That's Fish Leong! )
9. I only kill people, not hurt them!
10. Look at him, he is not smart, and he is as bald as others!
1 1. Yifei: I don't wake up during the day, I don't sleep at night, I buy a cuckold and I mutter all day.
12. Zhanbo: Batman in Spider-Man is fictional, but Santa Claus is real. He even gave me a present.
13. Guangu: I really come from Altman's hometown.
14. Yifei: A good man is me. I'm Zhang Xiaobin.
15. Xiaoxian: You still have an aunt in prison.
16. Yifei: As a result, three months later, she fancied herself as a refrigerator and poked her finger into the socket.
17. Zi Qiao: Wait, they won't come to trick me into going to the gathering of old cadres in the neighborhood Committee again, will they?
18. Zi Qiao: Happiness! I want happiness! No rent!
19. Meijia: Luda is a fool, his voice is still there, he is an eternal bastard, and he will die unsatisfied.
20. Aunt: I only kill people, not hurt them.
2 1. Xiaoxian: Narnia sanatorium, with a good therapeutic effect, no boredom, going to bed early, and less 20% discount. The national promotion period is only 998, so check in immediately. You will also receive an eight-star eight-sword knife inlaid with diamonds, Narnia sanatorium, and the effect is good! (Ceng Xiaoxian puts on his golden finger)
The fourth episode
1. Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian!
Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me?
Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws!
Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor!