After deeply understanding the Chinese people's fundamental concept of "being wise and protecting oneself", in order to handle personal interpersonal relationships well, we should avoid the following three attitudes: Avoid showing off one's edge

To establish Good interpersonal relationships, first of all, don't show off your sharpness. Young people are often prone to this problem. They want to be the center of attention wherever they go and have opinions on everything. In fact, being sharp is not a good way to stand out. In most cases, others will seize the opportunity to undermine their sharpness and suppress them. Avoid being conceited

People should not have hierarchies, but modern society often puts corresponding marks on everyone and then gives them different positions. In fact, this is a kind of helplessness and sadness for human beings. Under such circumstances, many graduates from prestigious schools and disciples of famous teachers tend to be arrogant. The actual experience of society tells people that people who are too conceited usually have difficulty cooperating with others, and it is also very difficult to lead such people. Therefore, you must not be conceited when dealing with interpersonal relationships. This is not only disrespectful to others, but also disrespectful to God.

Case

[Understanding of "People should not have confidence in themselves"]

"People should not have confidence in themselves" is relatively conceited and The words are not as absolute as the literal meaning. People should have confidence in God, not themselves. The so-called "God" refers to nature. Because humans are part of nature, humans must obey the laws of nature. When a person obeys the laws of nature, nature will arrange a path for him.

All Chinese principles are derived from nature and extended to the human world. This is also the inspiration brought to people by the "Book of Changes". Fuxi understood the laws of the world from natural scenes. The interpersonal relationship proposed by Fu Xi is the so-called three talents of "Heaven, Man, and Earth". As long as three people are together, one of them must be like "heaven", one person is like "man", and the other person is like "earth". This is very natural. The one who is like "Heaven" will inevitably become the leader among the three, while the one who is like "Earth" is very practical and can rely on the strongest load-bearing capacity to bear everything. The one who is like "Human" One person should connect the previous and the lower, and stand upright. When three people are together, although their roles are different, they can get along happily if they cooperate with each other. Otherwise, it will just turn from each other's efforts to internal fighting, cancel out all the power, and eventually die out together. Avoid rashness

Being rash means doing something without going through the brain and reacting immediately. In fact, everything that happens every time is unique and never repeated. Therefore, do not react immediately, no one is sure to do such a thing. History will repeat itself, but each time is different. It is precisely because of these differences each time that it represents its continuous evolution process. In view of such objective laws, when facing any stimulus, everyone should first keep their mouth shut, otherwise it is easy to make the mistake of "trouble comes from the mouth", and then think carefully and comprehensively. This is called making decisions before acting. Everyone should tell themselves: "I am very capable, but I should not show it casually."

4. The variability of Chinese people

There is another change in Chinese-style interpersonal relationships. The characteristic of sex is that it "changes according to reason". Everything often changes until it reaches a reasonable level. This is because people's ideas and behaviors will change, and the corresponding interpersonal skills and attitudes cannot remain unchanged. Instead, "everything becomes reasonable."

Chinese people have the strongest "changeability" and the highest "sustainability", which is relatively difficult to understand. "There is continuity in change, and there is change in continuity" can be said to be the best embodiment of the Chinese people's golden mean.

The third summary of "Chinese-style interpersonal relationships": Cultivation of oneself first and then peace of mind (Part 1)

(1) The relationship between "cultivation of self" and "pacification of others" /p>

The concept of "security" has long influenced the Chinese people in various aspects. In order to "pacify others", one must first "cultivate oneself". Without cultivating oneself, it will be difficult to comfort others. "Cultivating oneself" and "pacifying others" run through the entire Chinese-style interpersonal relationship. When dealing with Chinese-style interpersonal relationships, we should uphold the spirit of "ethics and morality", take "mutuality and mutuality" as the principle, and use "perfection, harmony, and tact" as the standard, so that individuals can be invincible and exert the power of promoting themselves and others. There is unity in the division, and there is division in the unity, so as to seek a peaceful life and mutual respect and reciprocity between people, and finally everyone can find his own peace.

(2) Relationships start with oneself

1. The essence of "self-cultivation"

"Self-cultivation" means cultivating oneself, not changing others. The aforementioned "one talent", "two suits", "three drinks", "four circles of mahjong", "five friends", "six out of Qishan", "seven skills to beat a horse", "eight mouths of bragging" ", "Nine-point effort" and "Ten-point patience" are all things that should be paid attention to in terms of "self-cultivation". In addition to the above, to handle Chinese-style interpersonal relationships well, you should also grasp the three key points of "self-cultivation":

Be conscious

When others are polite to you When you are in a situation, you must be alert and take the initiative to reason. No matter what the other person says, you must quickly reason with the situation and show reasonable attitudes and behaviors in order to be reasonable.

Chinese people value "reasoning based on emotion", that is, they like to take the approach of "giving enough face and letting others take the initiative to reason", and remind the other party in a polite tone: "It's best to wake up quickly. Consciously reason with each other, so as not to cause trouble for each other. "When you have face, you should quickly and automatically act in accordance with the truth. This is the so-called "consciousness". But after you gain face, you mistakenly think that the other person doesn't mind at all, doesn't know how to adjust yourself quickly, and even goes too far, which is a sign of "unconsciousness".

Self-discipline

When people are dissatisfied with the performance of others, they cannot directly blame them, nor can they immediately reason with them. It is best to give him face first, awaken him with affection, make him reason automatically, and adjust his words and deeds reasonably. People hope that others will be reasonable and reasonable, and first give themselves face and then induce you to automatically reason. Therefore, you need to compare your feelings with your own, and you must understand that others have the same expectations in order to satisfy the need to save face.

It can be seen that it is very important to restrain yourself in everything and always remind yourself in dealing with interpersonal relationships. Anyone may be confused at some point, so we should not force them into a dead end all at once so that they have no chance of automatic improvement. This attitude is "self-discipline", that is, controlling yourself just right can reduce a lot of unnecessary troubles and save a lot of time and energy.

Autonomy

Remind yourself at all times that you must maintain your autonomy with an automatic and spontaneous spirit. Once you are passive and rely on other people's instructions everywhere, you will inevitably lose your right to autonomy and become a People who are not qualified to stand on their own feet.

People have autonomy and can decide for themselves whether they want to be active or passive, but those who want to be active can still maintain their autonomy; if they choose to be passive, they must accept the control and instructions of others and will Gradual loss of autonomy. Chinese people are very independent and like to make their own decisions, so they should be more proactive in order to maintain the high degree of autonomy they value.