Friends are very important to most people. For girls, friends are simply their oxygen. So learning how to get along with others is a very important skill. Before we learn how to get along, let's take a look at how friendship grows.
What girls like to play most is imaginary games - games of fantasy and pretending. Do you still remember the house games you played when you were a child? I always remember the house games I played with my younger siblings and neighbors’ peers when I was a kid. After I went to school, I played the game of pretending to be the white lady Xu Xian with my classmates. I really enjoyed playing these games at that time.
Pretend play is not only a way to pass the time, it is also the basis of creativity. Everything must be thought of first and then done. Playing happily with your daughter, either by herself or with her friends, is the best way to exercise her brain development.
Girls learn how to communicate with others through play. For example, in a house game, children spend a long time discussing who will play the leading role.
When girls have problems with their friendships, there is no need for parents to intervene unless the children have already tried their best.
When children ask you for help, parents can discuss and discuss with them and always find a solution - so, what went wrong? You can teach her the importance of sharing and how to let others have a say in the game.
When parents have to intervene, they should avoid leaning towards one side and give the children a chance to calm down and find their respective positions again. Usually, they make up quickly and continue the game.
Here are seven tips on how to be a good friend to others:
1. Enjoy each other’s company
Don’t be too nervous when playing with friends. Relax and view time with friends as an opportunity to have fun.
2. Learn to take turns and share
If you want to get the happiness of being with friends, you can’t just care about yourself, you have to give up.
3. Have empathy
Be able to put yourself in your friend’s shoes and imagine your friend’s feelings. Be happy for your friend when he wins a game or performs well. This is an advanced skill that is not easy to learn. Even as adults, we may not be able to do it now.
4. Control aggression
When you disagree with others, don’t scream or get physical. Don't get angry when you lose an argument.
5. Apologize when you make a mistake or hurt your friend’s feelings
6. Be aware of emotions
Be able to detect when your friend is angry, sad or scared, and be able to Adjust your behavior accordingly.
7. Know when you can trust others and when not, and be able to understand that people sometimes deceive others for their own reasons.
When your daughter discovers that a friend has lied or cheated on her, she may feel shocked or hurt. You need to comfort her and tell her that there are always people who don't understand the value of integrity. Don't lose confidence, just be more careful.
The power of role models is the best help parents can provide their daughters.
In daily playtime with your daughter, parents should teach your daughter and help her practice the above-mentioned friendship skills. Patiently but firmly teach her how to get along with her family, emphasizing respect, gentleness, sharing, and calmly resolving differences.
Empathy is learned from the experience of others expressing their emotions to you. Always use words that express feelings, match your expressions to how your daughter is feeling, and try to empathize with her feelings—take the time to understand how she is feeling.
The ability to express yourself is very important for your daughter. At home, if you can speak out when you are unhappy and speak for others when someone is treated unfairly, then your daughter will learn to express her opinions. Being strong doesn’t necessarily mean being loud and powerful, it just means expressing yourself clearly and never giving up.
Friends can be a great source of strength and physical and mental health. The skill of building strong, intimate relationships is one of the most important abilities you can teach your daughter, and it's worth your time as a parent.
Human beings have hundreds of feelings, but the main feelings related to social interaction are very simple, with only four types:
1. Fear - listen to your intuition
Listening to your feelings and inner voice, and trusting them, is a skill that strong women possess. Tell your daughter that her heart speaks, and teach her how to listen to her heart.
Have you ever saved yourself from danger because of listening to your inner voice? Tell your daughter about these experiences and see if she can think of some examples of hearing her inner voice.
You and your daughter can agree on a secret word: a word or sentence that only you and her know. When your daughter feels that something is wrong around her, she can call you and send you a message through this code: Mom, I may be in danger now, and I need you to come and take me away quickly. The author gives two examples of secret words in the book: "My shoes are not comfortable today" or "I saw an eagle today", similar secret words.
2. Anger - related to strength
Anger is also part of our protective mechanism. If your daughter notices these signs in herself—warm muscles, tension, clenching her teeth, or frowning—then she knows “I’m being forced to do things I don’t like,” or “these people are saying or doing It’s very mean and I don’t want them to do that to me.”
The quickest and best way to deal with anger is to talk it out. Teach her to say "I don't like this" in a firm tone, teach her to raise her chin, glare at the other person, and say "Please stay away from me!" Or stare at those who insult her and hurt her, and leave them.
3. Sadness - a true inner emotion
Sadness is a quieter and more inner emotion. Anger and anger are about things happening on the outside, while sadness is about changes on the inside. When we feel sad, what we need most is to be understood.
She is heartbroken when the person she loves most moves to another city, when she sees a dead animal on the road, or when something terrible happens on the news. Teach her that we can't change these things, we can only learn to understand them over time. We just need to be there for her and let her know that you don't have to bear this grief alone.
4. Joy
Joy is an emotion that needs to be cultivated and praised. Teach your child how to laugh, how to dance, how to be free and crazy, and her ability to be happy will develop. If sadness is an inevitable part of life, her antidote is happiness. Joy ensured that there would always be a place for happiness in her heart.
Parents also need to teach your daughters the following things:
Avoid useless friends and make some pleasant friends.
Fall in love with sports. Exercise has many benefits for girls. It is helpful for interacting with people, for physical health, for building self-confidence and for venting excess energy.
But for children before the age of 5, the best exercise is pure play. Take the kids somewhere they can run around. Park, countryside, beach or picnic in the garden. Participating in a playgroup is great for young children because both parents and children can find peers and learn new skills in a fun environment without stress.
Before the age of 10, girls are very open-minded about sports. Before puberty, the more sports a girl participates in, the better. Swimming and climbing sports help the development of the upper body, and dance, skating and field sports help the development of balance ability. Group programs can provide opportunities for aerobic exercise and promote lower body development. Of course, aerobic exercise such as yoga, gymnastics, and dance can also let her enjoy the fun of exercising her body.
The purpose of our sports is to have fun, so be wary of coaches who are prone to anxiety, place too much emphasis on performance, and pass this pressure on to their children.
Also be wary of the risks of taking exercise too seriously. It's all about striking a balance.
Also help your daughter understand puberty, understand the physical changes of adolescent girls, and prepare her in advance.