?You make me feel very insecure. ?

? (crying while talking) I feel insecure with you?

Every time I hear such complaints from my girlfriend, men are confused. What do you want? What exactly is security?

What do you want from me?

Are you deliberately looking for trouble?

The old driver will say at this time: My dear, I will love you well, protect you well, and will never let you be wronged, and I will never let anyone hurt you, including myself.

A fan sent us a private message backstage, saying that she had been in love many times, but the time was generally short. At first, I thought the reason why she frequently changed boyfriends was because she found that the two people were not suitable for each other in a short period of time. Just get together and part ways.

But she said: There is only one reason for her to break up, and without exception, those boys cannot give her the sense of security she wants. ?

Many people lack a sense of security in their relationships, especially girls. In order to pursue the so-called sense of security, they end up losing love.

So, what exactly is security, and how do we obtain it in relationships?

Teacher Lejia once defined the sense of security and belonging in love this way: "Security means that you strongly feel that they cannot do without you; sense of belonging means that you strongly feel that you cannot do without them." . ?

Let’s popularize psychological science today. What is a sense of security?

Security is a feeling and a psychology; it is the feeling brought by the performance of one party to the other party; it is a feeling that makes people feel reassured and comfortable.

It is brought about by the performance of words and deeds that can be relied on and trusted.

To put it simply, both parties are willing to be together and firmly believe that they can grow old together hand in hand.

Many people think this is a illusory thing, but in fact, some small details in life can greatly enhance a sense of security.

Why do women need a sense of security?

When a woman says she is insecure, a man may always think that she is looking for trouble?

Actually no, "a sense of security" is supported by theory.

It comes from psychologist Maslow's hierarchy of human needs theory? Human survival needs include physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs.

Among them, "safety needs" are what women often call "a sense of security."

And not only women need it, but men also need it, so this is definitely not a figment of women, nor is it caused by hormones.

In their 20s, too many people live for their parents, others, and their husbands and children, but very few people live for themselves.

Many women believe that security comes from material life. If you don’t have a decent outfit, you will easily be laughed at by your peers. Many women also believe that security comes from a good marriage and meeting the right person. , he can help you solve your problems.

But the reality is that even if you have a decent outfit, people who want to make fun of you will always find ways to make fun of you. People who approve of you will not affect their approval of you because of your appearance. .

Even if you meet the right person, if you hope that the other person can solve your problems, then over time the other person will be forced away by you. No one is willing to accept your negative emotions for the rest of his life.

Why is other people’s love always smooth sailing?

Because they know who they are, and in the process of getting along, they rely appropriately, share appropriately, and are independent.

Only by living for yourself can you improve your sense of security and thus your happiness in the relationship between the sexes.

Girls who are insecure often like to do all kinds of things and make troubles to prove their status in the eyes of their boyfriends.

What about 24-hour uninterrupted contact and mobile phone location? I wish I knew what my boyfriend was doing at all times. I am so clingy to my boyfriend that I can no longer cling to him.

When your boyfriend responds a little slower or has a colder attitude, he starts to think wildly and even starts to ask if the other person still loves him.

However, the more you make trouble unreasonably and press forward step by step, the more unbearable it will be for boys. The sense of security gained by making trouble will not last long, because these behaviors of yours are just a pretext. In the name of love, you freely kidnap the other person. Not many boys can bear your kind of love. It will only make boys more and more resistant.

Finally, although you don’t want to admit it, you do need some financial ability.

Stronger financial capacity means that you can better protect a woman and share her pressure on health, work, resources and property to a certain extent.

It is precisely because of the sentence of Prince Wang Sicong: When I make friends, I don’t care whether they have money or not. Anyway, they are not as rich as me. ?Happy to be a national husband.

Of course, I won’t go into detail here about what it’s like to marry into a wealthy family.

Marriage is not a poverty alleviation project. It involves talking about relationships as well as money. Many straight men will say, you girls worship money!

A Guliang was raised hard by her parents, but they just let you sleep for free? Are you worthy of being called a man?

Marriage is support, not poverty alleviation!

I really don’t understand why some people keep the word “money” secret after hearing it, as if talking about money is tacky. I am such a big layman.

In this era, money is as important to women as it is to men.

How to improve the sense of security in love?

Girls should analyze and understand things that make them feel uneasy with their boyfriends;

They should also have their own lives and no longer revolve around their boyfriends all the time;

You also need to discover your own value and no longer doubt whether you are worthy of being loved.

Boys should let girls know whether they are happy or dissatisfied, and communication can promote mutual understanding;

They should also report to their girlfriends in advance before making a decision to avoid unnecessary problems.

The most important thing is for girls to express their love to each other. A sincere "I love you" can give far more energy than three words.

Security comes from the heart. Only by being confident in yourself and affirming that you are worthy of being loved can you give yourself a steady stream of energy that no one can take away.